Nina’s mom, 80th -83rd week, or a good 18 to 19 months
“He likes to walk around naked after his bath. Then he crouches down and strains to go pee. Once, he peed in his closet.”
Robin’s mom, 82nd week, or approaching 19 months
“It never ceases to amaze me how well she understands what’s going on. Now and again, she has it all figured out. For instance, if she can’t reach something, she goes to the bathroom, gets a stool and puts it where she needs it. That’s just one of the many moments I see her solving her own problems.”
Vera’s mom, 82nd week, or approaching 19 months
“She colors with crayons now.”
Laura’s mom, 83rd week, or 19 months
“She is able to arrange the colors. She saw that one of the markers had the wrong color top on it.”
Victoria’s mom, 84th week, or a good 19 months
“He tells me ahead of time that he needs to use the bathroom.”
Taylor’s mom, 84th week, or a good 19 months
“Now and again she wants to use her potty. She sits down for a second and goes to wiping furiously, but has yet to do anything on the potty.”
Eve’s mom, 85th week, or 19½ months
“He is increasingly more helpful and he imitates more. He brings his cup to the kitchen and puts it on the counter or grabs a plate. He also likes to play like he is hammering something. He wants to drink out of a big person’s cup and not a bottle or baby’s cup.”
Bob’ mom, 86th week, or approaching 20 months
“She did a little business once on the toilet.”
Anna’s mom, 87th week, or 20 months
“She gets onto the potty herself if she’s already naked. If she’s wearing pants, she does it in her pants, but alerts us directly.”
Hannah’s mom, 87th week, or 20 months
“Completely potty trained. After only 3 nights, she completely stopped wetting the bed.”
Emily’s mom, 87th week, or 20 months
“He can blow his nose. Now he tries to blow his nose into everything, even the coasters.”
Gregory’s mom, 88th week, or 20 months
I Have My Own Will
“The last few months he has been naughty and has been testing the waters to see what’s allowed and what’s not, as well as the consequences. At the moment, he knows full well what’s allowed. Now he is just naughty to show: ‘I do what I want. So what are you going to do about it?’”
Harry’s mom, 76th week, or approaching 17½ months
“He doesn’t listen to warnings anymore. It looks as if he is proclaiming that he knows what he’s doing. Experimenting has taken priority: falling down, heat, strong spices, etc. He decides what he eats, when and how.”
Matt’s mom, 76th week, or approaching 17½ months
“He really goes his own way. Preferably looking for trouble.”
James’ mom, 77th week, or 17½ months
“She wanted a lot of attention if she wasn’t allowed something or if getting something took too long. She kept tugging on me, was very stubborn, whiny, pig-headed, naughty, hot-tempered and uncontrollable.”
Josie’s mom, 77th week, or 17½ months
“He gets into everything, but I have to keep a close watch on him. It’s too dangerous to leave him unattended because he is always defying the rules. I really got angry when he tried to light the stove with a hot pan on it. It really made me jump. Fortunately, he only received slight burns, and there was only minimal damage, but he certainly got a physical warning. I hope it has sunk in that he is not allowed to touch the gas. It is really fun to cook together, but if he hasn’t learned his lesson we will no longer be able to.”
Steven’s mom, 78th week, or approaching 18 months
“Recently she has abandoned her toys for the things that she is not allowed to touch, like the DVD player.”
Laura’s mom, 78th week, or approaching 18 months
“I have to accompany him everywhere. He is very enterprising and quite the prospector. Everything must be turned upside down and inside out with me present. We had a run-in because he makes a mess faster than I can clean it up.”
Luke’s mom, 79th week, or 18 months
“He is a real clown. He pays no mind to anything, just does his own thing. He loves to kid around. We call him the ‘little elf.’”
James’ mom, 80th week, or a good 18 months
“She’s increasingly independent. She goes off by herself or along with others. A quick wave and off she goes.”
Elisabeth’s mom, 80th -81st week, or a good 18 to 18½ months
“The last few days he has been playing with cars. Wednesday I ended up with a half hour all to myself. He played happily with his blocks and cars and I didn’t hear him for a whole half hour.”
James’ mom, 81st week, or 18½ months
“She put her finger in the hot tea. Ouch!”
Julia’s mom, 84th week, or a good 19 months
“Now and then she really amuses herself well. She plays by herself if I’m around, but I am not allowed to read. I sometimes get a bit of reading in, which is more than I used to.”
Nina’s mom, 83rd -86th week, or 19 to almost 20 months
“Her personal awareness grows daily. She indicates what she wants and what she doesn’t want. She blows kisses when bidding farewell and if she gives something to you, it is a conscious decision.”
Ashley’s mom, 83rd – 86th week, or 19 to almost 20 months
“She doesn’t want me to brush her teeth, but if she does it, she doesn’t brush but eats the paste and then she’s finished. One time when I went ahead and brushed her teeth for her, she was angry with me for the next half hour.”
Anna’s mom, 86th week, or approaching 20 months
I Can Decide For Myself
“She starts to laugh already when she’s planning something naughty.”
Eve’s mom, 76th week, or approaching 177 months
“He announces everything he does. He always points to himself.”
Kevin’s mom, 76th week, or approaching 177 months
“She really knows that it’s ‘bah’ if she has messed her pants. She comes up and says ‘bah.’ If she can choose the spot where she gets changed, then she doesn’t make a scene and will consent to it. She finds the strangest spots to be changed. Changing clothes is the same: ‘Find your spot,’ and there she goes.”
Nora’s mom, 86th week, or approaching 20 months
“He wants to pick out his own clothes these days. He really has certain preferences. His comfortable jogging pants with mice print is ‘out.’ Sometimes he puts Daddy’s jacket on with a tie and goes and wakes Mom up.”
Thomas’ mom, 86th week, or approaching 20 months
I Want Power
“The temper tantrums have really picked up. She can really scream loud. Short but powerful. She also watches her brother very carefully when he misbehaves. It looks like she is taking mental notes.”
Victoria’s mom, 72nd week, or 16½ months
“If she doesn’t agree, she starts to scream. The rolling around on the ground has lessened. She tries to get her way by screaming.”
Jenny’s mom, 72nd week, or 16½ months
“He scares me with snakes and mice and does the same to the girl next door.”
Frankie’s mom, 74th week, or 17 months
“He tries putting oversized cars into his tiny toy garage. He didn’t ever try this before.”
Robin’s mom, 76th week, or approaching 17½ months
“He constantly hits and sometimes pinches if he doesn’t get his way. If he’s angry, he punches hard, softer when he’s joking. The general idea is I try to break his bad habit by calmly correcting him, and offering him a pillow to pound or by urging him to calm down. I do sometimes get angry if he really hurts. This makes him sad and then he starts handing out kisses.”
Luke’s mom, 76th week, or approaching 17½ months
“He insists on eating and drinking wh
at I have, even if he already has the same. He wants what I have. He takes my food and drink from me. We fight that out like two children.”
Gregory’s mom, 76th week, or approaching months
“She screams so loudly and in a high pitch if she doesn’t get her way or she fails at something. That really annoys me and I want to break her of that soon. We have had several squabbles this week because of this.”
Juliette’s mom, 77th week, or 17½ months
“A couple of times a day she gets in a rage, especially if she doesn’t get her way. It generally blows over all by itself. Sometimes, I have to intervene in order to calm her down. She is quite fierce.”
Maria’s mom, 77th week, or 17½ months
“He has gotten notably rougher. He also forcefully throws things and really can’t stand not getting his way. He sometimes throws things at the cat, like the alarm clock.”
Matt’s mom, 77th week, or 17½ months
“He is very well tempered and exceedingly energetic. He is so very busy with what he seems to need to do, that he doesn’t even flinch when I express my displeasure at certain things. He throws and hits with anything he can get a hold of, with all his might. I think he flings things like that because he feels a certain power of his possessions. The same goes for hitting. I try to make it clear to him when I take action against him by threatening punishment. If he persists in throwing and hitting, I put him in his playpen. He sits there quietly waiting it out, only to pick up where he left off, throwing and hitting. The only thing that helps is to distract him. It seems like we are dealing with a new learning pattern.”
Kevin’s mom, 78th week, or approaching 18 months
“If he doesn’t get his way he gets angry. For instance, if he wants to go outside, he points to his jacket. If I say no, he gets angry. He also gets angry if he doesn’t get more candy or if his friend isn’t home.”
Robin’s mom, 77th week, or 17½ months
“If she has to come inside from the garden, she cries and stamps her feet. In these cases, I give her a time-out.”
Vera’s mom, 79th week, or 18 months
“Sometimes I doubt whether or not I can manage his headstrong, dynamic activities.”
Harry’s mom, 79th week, or 18 months
“He throws everything to the ground and away from himself. He bites and hits. I really got angry this week when he smeared his food and drink all over the floor.”
John’s mom, 79th week, or 18 months
“I try anger and demanding obedience, insisting that he has to stop, but nothing helps. He is not at all impressed. It is difficult when he acts this way. If he is tired, it is even worse. Then it really is overwhelming.”
Paul’s mom, 79th week, or 18 months
“If I leave the room briefly or neglect her in the slightest, she starts digging in my plant.”
Laura’s mom, 80th week, or a good 18 months
“She was very annoying this week. She kept insisting on getting her way. If she didn’t get her way, then she started screaming and threw herself on the ground. If we just left her, she would come around on her own.”
Emily’s mom, 81st week, or 18½ months
“If she can’t get something, has to go to bed or doesn’t get her way, she cries and stamps her feet.”
Ashley’s mom, 84th week, or a good 19 months
“The throwing and hitting seem to be lessening. But the biting is sometimes very serious. Harsh scolding, explaining, a spanking: nothing seems to help.”
John’s mom, 83rd -86th week, or 19 to almost 20 months
“He terrorizes the cats. He constantly keeps tabs on where they both are. Then he has to be able to pet them.”
Jim’s mom, 83rd 86th week, or 19 to almost 20 months
“She doesn’t want to be seen as ‘small.’ We went to get ice cream in a nice place, where the scoops are pricy. Dad said: ‘Elisabeth can have some of ours.’ When the ice cream came, she could lick it but she wasn’t allowed to hold it. That brought on a temper tantrum. She wanted to leave. She was insulted that she was thought to be small. Dad then went to a lesser ice cream parlor for some more ice cream. She held it but didn’t eat it. Her tantrum continued all the while. She was deeply insulted. For the next half hour to 45 minutes, she was no fun. She hit dad, too.”
Elisabeth’s mom, 86th week, or approaching 20 months
“She is very willful, which is sometimes difficult. She cries if she isn’t allowed something or she doesn’t get her way. Real tears are reserved for when she falls or hurts herself.”
Julia’s mom, 87th week, or 20 months
I Am Out of Sight But Not Out of Mind
Because your toddler now understands that he is a separate system, he also understands that the same principles that apply to the people and objects around him also apply to him. He understands that they continue to exist, even though they may not be in his field of vision. He also understands that he still exists for mom and dad when they can’t see him. Furthermore, he now understands that other people do not necessarily remain where he last saw them. It starts to dawn on him that they can move about and change their positions. When he looks for dad, he now understands that he not only needs to look where he last saw him.
He likes to crawl into closets and shut all the doors.”
Steven’s mom, 81st week, or 18 7 months
“She hides in the closet, slides the doors shut and then calls ‘mom.’ It really makes her laugh when we finally find her.”
Josie’s mom, 85th week, or 19½ months
Me and You
Now that your toddler sees himself as an individual, he will start using terms like “me” and “you.” He grasps that mom and dad are individuals too who lead their own lives. He starts to compare himself with them and maps out the similarities and differences to a tee.
“She has discovered that her father has a penis. She calls it ‘Pino.’”
Victoria’s mom, 72nd week, or 16½ months
“His own weenie is really an item. So is his father’s and the absence of mine.”
Bob’s mom, 73rd week, or approaching 17 months
“These days he points first to himself and then to me, as if he wants to point out the difference.”
Mark’s mom, 75th week, or a good 17 months
“If I propose: ‘Shall we go out together?’ she points to herself as if she would say: ‘You mean me?’ as if there are other people in the room.”
Nina’s mom, 75th week, or a good 17 months
“He loves it when I make special reference to him. He points to himself to distinguish himself from me and as a confirmation that it is for him.”
Luke’s mom, 77th week, or 17½ months
“If I imitate certain stereotypical statements or behavior of hers, it makes her laugh.”
Hannah’s mom, 78th week, or approaching 18 months
“He is very interested in his father—in the shower, in bed, on the ‘john.’ He follows him everywhere and always talks about him.”
Frankie’s mom, 79th – 86th week, or 18 to almost 20 months
“She learned the terms ‘me’ and ‘you.’”
Juliette’s mom, 86th week, or approaching 20 months
Now that your toddler can distinguish between himself and others, he can also put himself in another person’s position. In a simple experiment, it was shown that toddlers of 13 to 15 months were unable to fathom that another person could make a choice that was different from theirs. At 18 months they will be able to do this for the first time. That has all kinds of consequences.
The Dangling Carrot
“We came out of the store and there stood a helicopter ride for the kids. If you put money in, it moves around for a while with lights flashing. Nora loves it and was allowed to go on once. But there was already a kid in it, who didn’t want to get out after his turn. Nora looked around and ran to a mini-shopping cart and started pushing it around. The other kid came out of the helicopter right away and wanted to p
ush that cart around too. Nora shot over to the helicopter and got in.”
Nora’s mom, 87th week, or 20 months
I Can Console
“She says to us that we have to cry and then she will give us a kiss and a gentle caress.”
Jenny’s mom, 79th -80th week, or 18 months
Me and My Mimicry
“He reenacts moods. He says for instance ‘stop!’ in a way that a girl does, a bit sassy. He imitates certain gestures, like turning his head and body and putting his hand up, and talking to the hand.”
Taylor’s mom, 80th week, or a good 18 months
“Imitating certain postures and movements is a favorite pastime. She even tries to imitate the cat.”
Maria’s mom, 83rd – 86th week, or 19 to almost 20 months
“He observed the monkeys and how they open nuts. We collect hazelnuts in the neighborhood and at home he really gets in to shelling them.”
Bob’s mom, 83rd – 86th week, or 19 to almost 20 months
“She imitates the other children quite a bit. If they climb a fence, she tries too. If they knock on a window, she does the same. If they do it, she copies it.”
Vera’s mom, 87th week, or 20 months
Me and My Fantasy Play
In his make-believe play he starts to treat his toys like they play along too, like people capable of doing things.
“She grabbed an imaginary something from her hand and put it in her mouth. She did it a couple of times. It was very peculiar. It looked like her first game of make-believe.”
Josie’s mom, 71st week, or a good 16 months
“Suddenly she has become more independent. She plays by herself very well. Now and then it looks like she is in a dream world. She fantasizes. I had yet to see her do that. She plays the game with her doll. Sometimes she tells me her fantasies.”
Victoria’s mom, 75th week, or a good 17 months
“He made a drawing of a turd and then stamped on it. I don’t allow him to stamp on turds in the street.”
The Wonder Weeks Page 35
