Paul’s mom, 77th week, or 17½ months
“After having seen his baby pictures one afternoon, he decided that all his animals were his babies and played with them the whole afternoon in his bed.”
Gregory’s mom, 84th week, or a good 19 months
“She indicates much more clearly what she wants and gets frustrated if I don’t get what she means. Playing make-believe has much to do with it. She gives me a dog and I have to understand that the dog needs to be breast fed.”
Emily’s mom, 86th week, or approaching 20 months
“He does play make-believe a lot. Having a tea party. Sitting together in his Lego car, on the steps. He pats the ground beside him in the most inviting way and loves if we sit there together.”
Thomas’ mom, 86th week, or approaching 20 months
Other Living Creatures
Other living creatures are all separate systems with their own behavioral rules and programs. Your toddler is fascinated by this.
“This week she was very interested in birds. She laughed if a bird she was watching returned from out of sight. She laughed more when she saw where the sounds came from, the sounds she had heard before even seeing the bird. It is the same with airplanes. She also likes to investigate how plants smell.”
Eve’s mom, 73rd week, or approaching 17 months
“She waves at planes and birds and sometimes to people.”
Eve’s mom, 74th week, or 17 months
“This week he liked feeding the chickens. He stayed with his grandfather on the farm.”
Jim’s mom, 77th week, or 17½ months
“He saw a snail in the street and then before I noticed it, he said that the snail was dead. It turned out that he and his father had covered this topic a few times.”
Harry’s mom, 79th week, or 18 months
’He enjoyed the bees with his grandfather, the beekeeper.”
Steven’s mom, 83rd week, or 19 months
’She cracked up when she saw a snake eat a mouse in a nature film.”
Laura’s mom, 84th week, or a good 19 months
’This week he was really interested in an ant outside in the garden.”
Matt’s mom, 84th week, or a good 19 months
She is really into bugs this week – ladybugs and ants.”
Anna’s mom, 85th week, or 19½ months
“She likes watering the plants these days. She starts by making smacking noises as if the plants are hungry: ‘The plants want to eat.’ Preferably, she feeds them twice a day. For Ashley, it is the filling up and pouring out of the watering can that makes her feel she has done her deed for the day.”
Ashley’s mom, 85th week, or 19½ months
“At the beach he was able to play endlessly in the sand, digging and pushing shells into the sand and then pronouncing them dead.”
Kevin’s mom, 87th week, or 20 months
I am Part of a Nuclear Family
The nuclear family is a system like other human organizations. And it is the first human organization which your toddler experiences from the inside, right from the start. However, it is only now that he begins to see that a nuclear family is a unit, a system.
“She now has a strict division of tasks. Mom gets her glass and dad fills it.”
Victoria’s mom, 73rd week, or approaching 17 months
“She now grasps that we are a family, a group. If I just use the names Xaviera, Marko and Thomas in a sentence, she corrects the omissions of Mita (Victoria) and Kitan (Christian).”
Victoria’s mom, 74th week, or 17 months
“She is busy with her dolls and stuffed animals all day long. One goes in the highchair. If she gets something to eat, she first gives some to her ‘friends.’ She also puts them all to bed in her doll wagon and then goes and lays in the big bed.”
Elisabeth’s mom, 74th -75th week, or 17 months
“She knows exactly who belongs with who or who gave her what.”
Vera’s mom, 75th week, or 17 months
“She laughs when we play with the cats or if the cats get riled up.”
Jenny’s mom, 71st -76th week, or a good 16 til almost 177½ months
“He points to his father, to me and to himself. Then I am supposed to say that we all are separate people and yet we belong together. Then he nods approvingly ‘yes’ and sighs from contentment.”
Frankie’s mom, 76th week, or approaching 17½ months
“Nowadays, he is a real ‘pal.’ He asks me to accompany him in the Lego car. He wants to read together. He wants to color together.”
Thomas’ mom, 78th week, or approaching 18 months
“When we would take her brother to school or pick him up, she had a hard time with me calling other women ‘mom of so-in-so.’ There was only one mom and that was me. Now she understands that there are other families and that those women are mothers of other children. She still protests though if she hears them called ‘mom.’ The only unequivocal mom is her mom.”
Victoria’s mom, 79th week, or 18 months
“If his older brother or sister is on my lap, he gets angry, and remains that way until my lap is vacated.”
James’ mom, 82nd week, or approaching 19 months
“This week he enjoyed getting in bed and snuggling with mom and dad.”
Gregory’s mom, 83rd week, or 19 months
“He is very bold and already teases his brother and sister, sometimes getting on their nerves.”
James’ mom, 83rd week, or 19 months
“Now she grasps that ours is not the only family. Recently, we went to pick up her brother who was playing at a friend’s house. We stayed to have coffee. She was clearly upset and kept calling the name of the boy’s sister and asking where she was. But the sister was playing at a friend’s. The family was incomplete without the sister and that troubled her. She saw that as being wrong.”
Victoria’s mom, 84th week, or a good 19 months
“James sometimes gets left out by his brother and sister when they want to play a game. They put him in the hall and shut the door in his face. He comes to me shattered and needs to be consoled.”
James’ mom, 87th week, or 20 months
“She knows her father is called Hank and her mother Miko.”
Julia’s mom, 87th week, or 20 months
Me and My Family or Friends
Just as a nuclear family is a system, so too is the extended family and the circle of friends. Your toddler starts to recognize that now as well. He also learns the differences between his family and his friends’ families.
“She came to me with the telephone and a picture of her grandparents and signaled that she wanted to call them.”
Juliette’s mom, 78th week, or approaching 18 months
“If I speak about his friend, he knows who that is and he says his name with enthusiasm. He certainly knows his friend.”
Steven’s mom, 78th week, or approaching 18 months
“We are really close. He follows my conversations and interactions with others. He reacts to statements, even if they are not directed at him. When my friend called her son, who was pretty far away, she said that he doesn’t listen to her, so my son rushed out to go get him. He tried to drag him along, but his friend got him in a hold which resulted in a screaming match, because my son does not like to be pinned down.”
Luke’s mom, 79th week, or 18 months
“When the neighbor went home to cook, he wanted to go with her. That was fine and I waved him off. I had expected that my boy would want to come back soon. That wasn’t the case. After an hour-and-a-half, I got worried and went to see what was going on. But Thomas didn’t want to come home. He wanted me to stay, too. Then he showed me everything he had seen there, the refrigerator, the grapes, etc. He has a great time there because he is allowed to do what he wants. While she was cooking, he sat on the kitchen counter with his feet in the sink playing in the water.”
Thomas’ mom, 80th week, or a good 18 months
“Grandma and
Grandpa live around the corner. We stop by often and naturally we don’t always go inside. If we pass by, she always calls out ‘ama’ or ‘apa.’”
Victoria’s mom, 82nd week, or approaching 19 months
Finding My Way Around My House and My Neighborhood
Your own home is a system as is the surrounding neighborhood. Your toddler learns to recognize that now and starts learning how to find his way. He constructs a map in his head of his surroundings. Such a mental map is actually a system, too.
“He is finding his bearings. Even when he is not in familiar surroundings, he looks for other points of recognition and he is very pleased when he finds them. He wants to share this immediately, as well as what is coming up.”
Harry’s mom, 74th week, or 17 months
“A month ago he didn’t notice the sea while at the beach. This time he shouted for joy when he spied the sea from the top of the dune. He was practically overcome with joy when he saw the sea. Day after day, a constant reminder.”
Bob’s mom, 74th week, or 17 months
“He knows where we are going. If I ask him, he answers correctly.”
John’s mom, 79th week, or 18 months
“He knows the way from the campground to the sea.”
Jim’s mom, 80th -81st week, or approaching 18½ months
“Taylor and I have moved to another floor in the same building. Taylor felt at home in his new abode and after settling in, started going around with his buggy. He was familiar with the house because the previous inhabitants had two kids of their own. He seemed already used to it.”
Taylor’s mom, 82nd week, or approaching 19 months
“A few times she didn’t want to come with me inside to visit, regardless if they were strangers or Grandma and Grandpa. Really strange, she’s never done this before. When she finally made it in, she was fine.”
Maria’s mom, 82nd week, or approaching 19 months
“He has a good map of the vicinity in his head. He knows exactly where to find things, at home, outside, or at dad’s work. He can point me the way to the grocery store or the way to dad’s work as well as the way inside the building to his office. He also knows the next door neighbor’s house very well. He knows where everything is. The grapes and so on. She usually has them. He gets disappointed, though, if they are not in the right place.”
Thomas’ mom, 83rd week, or 19 months
“If we let the dog out in the neighborhood, she asks ‘ama’ or ‘apa’ [Grandma or Grandpa] and points in the right direction to their house, even though the house is still out of sight around the corner. Clearly she wants to visit.”
Victoria’s mom, 86th week, or approaching 20 months
“This summer, my friend and I went to the beach regularly. Our two boys got along well. They are still good friends. Jim had expected to meet up with his friend before we went. He kept asking where he was. This time they were waiting for us at the beach.”
Jim’s mom, 87th week, or 20 months
Me and My Belongings
In a nuclear family system there are all sorts of principles, among which there are values, norms and rules. Consider for instance “we will share fair and square” or “thou shalt not steal.” There are rules for what belongs to whom and what we are entitled to. Your toddler learns these rules by doing. Sometimes he picks it up unnoticed and it’s a pleasant surprise to find out what he’s learned on his own. Other times it takes some persuasion.
Me and My Clothes
“She knows exactly which bags, coats and what-not belong to which kids and when we leave she fetches our things.”
Nina’s mom, 82nd week, or approaching 19 months
“When I empty the washing machine, I lay out every piece on the machine and pull them into shape before I put them into the dryer. She is right on top of everything, sorting things in her own way. She knows precisely what belongs to who: ‘is Thomas,’ ‘is mommy,’ ‘is Mita.’”
(Mita)/Victoria’s mom, 83rd week , or 19 months
“He seems aware of his new clothes, underwear and undershirt instead of one-sies. He finds it very interesting. He loves his new shoes.”
Paul’s mom, 83rd-86th week, or 19 to almost 20 months
Me and My Stuff
“While visiting a friend, Robin played with one of his toy cars, which wasn’t allowed to go home with him. He cried the whole way back to the house and at home threw away his own cars.”
Robin’s mom, 76th week, or approaching 17½ months
“She remembers where she left things. If I ask where something is, she remembers.”
Emily’s mom, 78th week, or approaching 18 months
“She finds one ‘diamond’ after the other. Her brother collects nice stones and lays them out in his room. So she scavenges for rocks too. Pieces of gravel go into her pocket one after the other and absolutely none of them can be thrown away.”
Victoria’s mom, 78th week, or approaching 18 months
“One day she came up to me, took my hand and led me to the room where all the toys are. She pointed: ‘Is Thomas, is Thomas, is Thomas... and Mita?’ This was a hefty protest. Recently, Thomas didn’t allow her to touch his toys, because she had broken some things. And indeed, this left her with very little to play with!”
Mita/Victoria’s mom, 83rd week, or 19 months
“When Lisa (now 25 months) comes to visit, it’s terrible. Lisa isn’t allowed to play with anything. If Lisa has anything in her hands, Hannah grabs it right from her.”
Hannah’s mom, 87th week, or 20 months
“He no longer wants to share his toys with other children. He gets angry and passionate if they grab his toys.”
Robin’s mom, 88th week, or a good 20 months
No mess
You’ve never seen anything like it before. He can’t stand a mess. Enjoy it while it lasts. It lasts until the next leap and won’t be back for a number of years – if it ever does come back. He wants everything arranged systematically.
“He can’t handle messiness. It upsets him. So I said to my parents, ‘What you never managed to achieve, my son did. Now, I always clean up.’ In the evening we always clean up the Legos. Every time we have finished reading a book, he puts it back before taking another one.”
Thomas’ mom, 86th week, or approaching 20 months
Doing Puzzles
A puzzle is a system too—an organized unit that is a whole due to the interdependence of the components from which it is made up.
“What he likes to do is put animal puzzles together. One is twelve pieces the other is seven. He knows exactly how to do it; he does it quickly and has no patience for putting the pieces in well. He even recognizes the back side of the pieces.”
Kevin’s mom, 72nd week, or 16½ months
“Her motor skills continue to improve. This week she enjoyed putting beads on sticks and then the sticks in holes. She also likes to take my money out and spread it out.”
Anna’s mom, 73rd week, or approaching 17 months
“She does the puzzles herself.”
Laura’s mom, 75th week, or a good 17 months
“He is good at puzzles with a bit of help. Even puzzles he has not seen yet.”
Matt’s mom, 76th week, or approaching 17½ months
“I pretended that I couldn’t do the puzzle. Every time I went astray he said: ‘No, no’ and then told me where I should put the piece. After repeating this act several times, I had had enough. I pulled the puzzle apart and put it back together in a flash. I acted like I was very proud and said: ‘See, I can do it too.’ He responded with: ‘No.’ It turned out that a tiny corner of a piece of the puzzle was sticking up. He pushed it in and then it was right!”
Thomas’ mom, 80th week, or a good 18 months
“All of a sudden he did the puzzle right. He turns them so that they fit well. Not always, but mostly.”
Frankie’s mom, 82nd week, or approaching 19 months
“She enjoys the box of buttons and all the variou
s tops.”
Jenny’s mom, 82nd week, or approaching 19 months
“She does many puzzles now. Her first puzzles, the easier ones, are no longer fun. Now she has a difficult one, 13 pieces.”
Julia’s mom, 86th week, or approaching 20 months
“He pays attention to the minutest of details. Like the smallest piece of the puzzle that is not quite right. He seems rather nit-picky. For instance, in the fairy tale ‘Snow White’ the expectant mother says that she would like to have a baby girl. One with skin as white as snow and lips as red as blood. The mother had just pricked her finger and there was a tiny drop of blood visible on the picture. He noticed this even though he had never seen anything like ‘pricking a finger.’ He pointed to the picture where the nice red was.”
Thomas’ mom, 86th week, or approaching 20 months
“All of a sudden she did a 20-piece puzzle without batting an eye. She had not done the puzzle before. After that she had no more interest in puzzles.”
Xaviera’s mom, 87th week, or 20 months
Creating a Game
A puzzle is a system devised by someone else. Your toddler is now able to think up systems by himself, for instance a game where he makes up the rules. Or a magic trick.
“He made up a game himself, taking turns throwing dice. One person throws, the other has to pick it up. He is strict in keeping the sequence. He keeps looking for tight corners to throw the die.”
Mark’s mom, 83rd -86th week, or 19 to almost 20 months
“Today she did a magic trick she had come up with herself. She watches her brother doing tricks a lot. She put a marble into a bottle and said: ‘Uh, oh.’ She shook the bottle up and down and said: ‘No.’ She meant that the marble was stuck. Then she turned in a circle (like a magician does) and held the bottle upside down. Tada!”
The Wonder Weeks Page 36
