by Gina Finley
He whimpers.
“That’s not a fucking answer,” I say.
I drop his head and shove it back into the water and sand. He grabs at my hands with his one good arm, but it’s no use. He can’t move me and I don’t pull him up until I’m ready.
He’s gasping and choking again.
“Do you understand, Timmy?” I ask. “Not going to ask again.”
“Yes!” he screams. “Yes! I understand!”
I stand up, step over him, and lift his good arm. I crank it back the same way I did the first one and the shoulder pops just as easily. He screams again. I pull him by the arm I’ve just busted and drag him out into water that’s knee deep. The small waves that are rolling in are steady, but slow.
I drop his arm. “Okay. You’re on your own, motherfucker. Good fucking luck.”
I watch as he flails, the small waves tossing him around. They’ll most likely end up pushing him to shore if he can stay afloat long enough.
Or not.
I turn and trudge out of the water, my pants and shoes soaked.
I look at Tyler and Shane standing on the shore. Neither of them moved to help him. They know better.
“Do we go get him?” Tyler asks.
“No,” I say. “He can figure it out himself.”
Tyler nods.
I turn and take another look at him. Tim is rolling around like a fucking sea otter, desperate to get to shallow water and to crawl onto the sand. He’s probably in a little bit of shock from the pain of the broken ankle and the dislocated shoulders. He’s splashing and thrashing in the ocean, panicked.
Good.
Fuck him.
And fuck anyone that thinks they can get the upper hand on me.
It won’t happen.
Ever.
We walk back up the sand and across the parking lot. Cara is still there, sitting behind the wheel. I yank open the door and climb into the passenger seat.
“Are you alright?” she asks.
“Fine,” I tell her. “Let’s go.”
“Are we just...leaving him out there?” she asks.
“Yeah.” I look at her. “You have a problem with that?”
She looks past me toward the ocean for a moment.
Then she turns back to the wheel and starts the truck.
“No,” she says. “Let’s go.”
THIRTY FIVE
Cara
It’s after midnight when I get home.
And my dad is waiting for me.
“Where the hell have you been?” he asks, sitting on the edge of the couch in the living room.
I drop my keys on the kitchen counter. “I was out with friends. I should’ve called you. I’m sorry.”
“Come here and sit down,” he says.
I sigh and walk back into the living room and sit down in the recliner across from the sofa.
“I got a call from the school today,” he says. “What’s going on?”
“I punched a girl,” I tell him, knowing there’s no reason to lie. “It was stupid and I shouldn’t have done it, but I did. I’m sorry.”
“You punched a girl?” he says, squinting at me. “Cara, what the hell?”
“I know,” I tell him. “I...I just freaked out. And I hit her in the mouth. It was stupid.”
“Why did you do it?”
“Because she sucks,” I tell him. “She was giving me a hard time. I’m the new kid. That kind of stuff. She just caught me at the wrong moment and I hit her. I don’t know why.”
He studies me for a long moment. “You’ve never punched anyone in your life.”
“I know.”
“So why now?”
“I don’t have a good answer, Dad,” I tell him. “I just snapped. Stress. Being new. I don’t know. I just...did it.”
He sighs and leans back in the sofa. “Alright. So what’s this suspension thing?”
“I basically sit in one classroom all day and do schoolwork. It’s fine.”
He rubs his jaw. “What about this girl you hit?”
“What about her?”
“She get any sort of punishment?”
“I hit her,” I tell him. “She didn’t really do anything other than get under my skin.”
He frowns. “But you’re not the kind of kid who just goes around punching other kids.”
“Dad, I don’t have an answer,” I tell him. “It was stupid and it won’t happen again. I’m sorry. But I can handle it. I’m just sorry because I know you got me into this school and you’re working so hard and everything. I didn’t mean to let you down.”
He makes a face. “You didn’t let me down. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“I am.”
“You’re making friends? Not just enemies?”
I laugh. “Yeah. I’m making friends.”
He rubs at his jaw again. “Alright. Just communicate with me, alright? Whether it’s about fighting or staying out late, let me know. Alright?”
I nod. “Yeah, for sure.”
He yawns. “Okay, I need to get to bed. I’ve got an early day. You’re sure you’re okay?”
“Positive.”
We say goodnight and he heads for bed. I sit on the couch for a while, trying to process my entire day.
I’m not sure that I can.
And I wonder if Tim Masters made it out of the ocean.
There was a part of me that considered driving back to the beach after I dropped the guys off at Dash’s house.
But I didn’t.
I’m not sure what that says about me right now.
I’m not sure about what anything I’ve done today says about me.
I’m hoping I’ll wake up with some answers.
THIRTY SIX
Dash
Fox is asleep when we get back. I text his mom to let him know he’s spending the night, that we were working on some bullshit project for school and he’s crashing here. She never responds because she’s probably already passed out drunk, but I’m covering the bases.
He sleeps alright through the night and he’s coherent in the morning and also feeling like he was run over by a train. I tell him about finding Masters at the beach and he seems happy about that. I get him some Advil and some weed and tell him I’ll check on him later after I get to school.
I want to go to school because I want to see what I hear about Masters. I wonder if he made it out of the ocean or if his fucking corpse is drifting to Hawaii. I shower and dress and I’m just getting out of the Escalade when Cara pulls up and parks next to me.
She gets out of the truck. She’s in a denim skirt and a yellow top. Her hair is bundled on top of her head in this messy sort of bun thing and it’s incredibly hot. The yellow sandals on her feet match the top.
“Hey,” she says, slinging her backpack over her shoulder.
“Hey,” I say.
She shuts the door and walks over to me. “I wasn’t sure if you’d be here or not. How is–”
“He’s okay,” I tell her. “He slept and he’s sleeping now, but he was awake this morning. Think he’ll be fine.”
She looks relieved. “Okay, good. And do you know...”
I shake my head. “Haven’t heard yet. We’ll see.”
She nods.
“You alright?” I ask.
She nods again. “Yeah.”
“You ready for this?”
“Ready for what?”
I take her hand and fold her fingers into mine. “This. Being with me here today.”
She looks at our hands together, surprised. “I wasn’t sure...if we were doing this or what.”
“Cara,” I tell her. “You’re with me now. I want people to know that. Not everyone’s going to like it, but fuck them. You’re with me.” I lean down and kiss her. “They all need to know.”
Her hand brushes my cheek and she smiles. “Okay. I just didn’t know.”
We walk across the parking lot and I can already see the looks being shot our way. It’s not anyt
hing new for them to see me with a girl. I think they’re all just surprised at who it is.
We cut across the courtyard and I spot Whitney on a bench with her friends. She sits up straight when she sees us and her mouth drops open slightly. She whispers something to her friends and they immediately look in our direction.
And then I see Jason up ahead of him. His hand and wrist are in a cast and he’s standing with a couple of his teammates. Cara tenses up next to me, but we walk straight to them.
Panic spreads through Jason’s expression.
“Hey, Jason,” I say, smiling. “How’s it going, man?”
He chews on his lip for a minute and doesn’t say anything.
“Nice cast,” I tell him. “Hopefully, won’t take long to heal.”
His eyes narrow.
Cara presses up against me.
I look at his little group of football players. “Seems like you’re down one this morning.”
He looks at his buddies, who are looking anywhere but at me. I have no doubt at least a couple of them were with Masters when they beat the shit out of Fox.
“Hope you can get the gang back together soon,” I tell him. “Have a good one.”
We walk right through them, forcing them to get out of the way. Cara’s hand tightens around mine.
“Breathe,” I tell her when we’re clear of them.
She exhales audibly. “Fuck.”
“You don’t have to be afraid,” I tell her. “They won’t bother you at all now. Promise.”
She nods.
We reach the ISS room and stop outside the open door. I see another girl in the middle of the room and some goth looking dude lounging in a desk. He looks up, a bored expression on his face, then goes back to the book in front of him.
“I’ll meet you out at the cars after school,” I tell her. “I need to drop something at the office so I might be a minute late.”
“Okay,” she says.
“Hey.”
She looks at me.
“You okay?”
She nods. “Yeah. Just...I don’t know. Last night was...a lot.”
“I know it was,” I tell her. “I’m sorry it ended the way it did. I wish we could’ve just stayed in.”
“Me too.”
“Maybe tonight,” I tell her.
She smiles. “That would be a good thing.”
I lean down and kiss her again, letting my lips linger on hers for a long moment.
“Get inside,” I tell her. “I’ll see you after school.”
I watch her walk into the classroom and feel guilty.
She’s in here because of me.
Maybe I need to talk to Winchester and get the ISS shortened.
Because I trust her now.
I trust Cara.
THIRTY SEVEN
Cara
I slide into my desk in the back corner of the room. Parker gives me a small wave and I wave back. My stomach is in knots after walking the gauntlet through school. It felt like I was in a storefront window and everyone was gawking at me.
I’m tired again. I didn’t sleep well. The entire night threw me off. The swinging of emotions from having sex with Dash to watching Tim’s body bob in the ocean took it’s toll on me and I was awake all night thinking about everything. I’m not sure how I’m feeling about any of it and I don’t have any real answers.
Anderson walks into the room, glances at us, and takes his seat behind the desk. The bell rings and he brings me over a printed sheet with work from my classes. There’s a shit ton. But that’s a good thing because it keeps me busy for the bulk of the day. I actually work through lunch, eating my sandwich as I read and I take notes. I get up a few times to stretch and Anderson lets me leave one time to use the bathroom.
It’s not the worst day in the world.
But I’m conflicted.
About so many things.
Mainly Dash.
He’s manipulated me into this spot and some of the stuff I’ve seen him do, I never in my wildest dreams could have imagined being a part of them. But I’m drawn to him and the people he’s gone after have deserved it. I’ll never forget the way Fox looked when Tyler and Shane brought him in. I thought he might be dead. So I’m not at all sorry about the payback Tim Masters got.
I’m just trying to process all of it and figure it out.
Because there’s also a part of me that can’t stop thinking about Dash and wanting to touch every part of him and keep my body against his for the rest of time.
I laugh to myself and shake my head.
These are all new feelings for me and I’m just trying to sort them out.
The bell rings for the end of the day and I shove my stuff in my backpack. Anderson is out of the room before any of us are.
Parker ambles over to my desk. “You were busy today.”
“Yeah, he got me my work from my classes,” I tell him. “Figure if I have to be here, I should at least use the time.”
“For sure,” he says, nodding. “Best way to pass the time. You heading to the parking lot?”
“Yeah.”
“Mind if I walk with you?”
“Sure.”
He’s got a gray backpack strapped to his back and his hands are shoved into his pockets as we walk.
“Saw you with Dash this morning,” he says. “Looks like you guys are...together for real now, huh?.”
“Uh, yeah,” I say, unsure how to respond.
“You just met him, right?” he asks. “I mean, since you just started here?”
“Yeah?”
He nods. “Cool.” He glances at me. “You heard about the Jason Miner thing?”
“Heard what about it?”
“That Dash smashed his hand to fucking pieces?”
I shrug. “Yeah, I heard something about it.”
We pass the courtyard. People are sitting around, talking, laughing.
“You with him when he did it?” he asks.
I look at him. “What?”
“Were you with him when he did it?” he asks again. “Did you witness it?”
“I...I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Cara,” he says. “Come on.”
“I have to go,” I tell him.
“Yeah,” he says. “I know. To the parking lot. Just making conversation. That’s all.”
I don’t say anything, but my stomach knots.
“Heard Tim Masters didn’t make it to school today,” he says. “You know him?”
The knot tightens. “No. I mean, I’ve heard his name.”
“Right,” he says. “What’s Dash’s buddy’s name? Fox? Guess he wasn’t here, either. Weird.”
We cross the sidewalk into the parking lot.
“Why’s that weird?”
He laughs. “I don’t know. I mean, the fact that Masters beat the shit out of Fox and then Masters doesn’t make it to school seems a little coincidental, don’t you think?”
We reach the truck.
“Look, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I tell him. “But I really need to–”
“Cara, you need to listen to me very carefully right now,” Parker says. “Don’t talk, just listen. Alright?”
I don’t say anything.
“I know everything that’s happening here,” he says. “You actually don’t. What you’ve seen is just a small part of something. And now you’re involved, like it or not.”
“I don’t know–”
“Shut up,” he says, looking over his shoulder before turning back to me. “You don’t want to lie to me.”
Now I’m pissed. “I don’t have to listen to this.”
“Yeah, you do,” he says. “If you’re smart, you will.”
“I’m leaving,” I tell him.
“Cara.”
I look at him.
“What you’ve seen is the tip of the iceberg,” he says. “That’s it. There’s a whole lot more, but I can’t share that with you right now. What I need you to do i
s think very carefully about what side you want to be on.”
“What fucking side?” I ask. “What are you even talking about?”
He smiles at me. “You’re not dumb, Cara. I know you’re not. You know what I’m talking about.”
“No, I really don’t.”
He points at the truck. “How’s your new ride?”
My face flushes.
“Nice of him to buy you a truck,” he tells me. “Probably a good way to keep track of you.”
“Shut up.”
“You better hope Masters isn’t dead, Cara,” he says.
“I’m leaving.”
“I can help you, Cara. I really can. But you have to help me first. If you don’t, I can’t do a damn thing for you.”
I look across the lot and see Dash coming. He holds up a hand and then I can see him confused, trying to figure out who I’m talking to.
Parker turns around, sees Dash, and turns back to me. “I’m gonna leave, but you need to think long and hard about which side you want to be on.”
“What fucking side?”
“The right one or the wrong one.”
“What the fuck are you even talking about?” I ask, irritated. “What are you? A fucking cop?”
He stares at me, but doesn’t say anything.
And it’s clear to me that’s exactly who he is.
A cop.
Jesus fucking Christ.
“Keep it our secret for now, Cara,” he says. “But we’ll talk more. Soon. Just be careful.” He holds up a hand as he backs away. “And don’t be stupid.”
He turns and walks back across the lot, nodding at Dash as he passes him.
Dash has a funny look on his face when he gets to me. “Who’s that dude?”
My heart is racing.
My stomach hurts.
“Cara?”
I look at him. “Oh. That’s, uh, Parker. He’s in ISS with me.”
“What’d he want?”
“What?”
“What’d he want?”
“Oh. Nothing. He was just walking with me,” I tell him. “Asking me about something in ISS.”
He turns around and watches him on the other side of the lot. “Oh yeah?”
