Filthy Dirty Alpha

by Grace Morgan

  “I’ll make a deal with you. You want unrestricted access to the club? You can have it—you can talk to anyone you want.” As I spoke, I wound the rope around her slim wrists, each loop nestling evenly onto the one below it.

  “Really?”

  “Everything you’ve asked for.”

  I knew full well that no one would say shit about Hope. I would make damn sure of it. I began the elaborate process of tying the knot that would bind her until I decided to release it. I loved seeing the woven texture of the rope against her smooth skin, loved seeing her chest rise and fall more rapidly as she watched my hands.

  “Why the sudden change of heart?” she asked.

  “Because,” I said, finishing the knot and meeting her eyes, “you have something I want.”

  “And what is that?”

  I allowed myself to take her in. The thin black heels that made her smooth, bare legs look even longer. That dress, tight and black and just barely covering her shapely ass, plunging down in the front to reveal high, full breasts. Her long, dark hair that I’d loved having wrapped in my fist. Her wrists—bound in front of her for what was undoubtedly the first time, just waiting for me to release them. And her eyes, looking back at me with a mixture of defiance and lust. I wanted them clouded with need, her head thrown back in ecstasy as I tasted her skin. I wanted this woman to give herself over to me and let me take what I wanted from her.

  “I want you. Thirty nights—and you’re mine for every one of them.”

  Chapter 3

  Lola

  It had taken several seconds for my brain to start functioning again after he said those words. Thirty nights—and I was his for every one of them? What did that even mean? Because it couldn’t mean what I thought it did. That would just be crazy. As crazy as being tied up in the middle of a sex club on a Tuesday morning?

  Burke held my bound wrists in his hand as he spoke. And though I hated to admit it, watching him tie me up had been the most sensual, erotic thing I’d ever experienced. My knees were still a bit weak.

  “Thirty days. You live with me here, in my apartment. You’ll be a part of everything I do here.”

  “When you say everything…” my voice trailed, going whisper soft.

  “We’re going to fuck, Lola.”

  I swallowed heavily, my eyes on his, and felt my inner muscles clench

  He continued, exuding confidence and masculinity like no man I’d ever experienced. “And since you’ll belong to me, you’ll be at my mercy. If I want to tie you up and fuck you in front of everyone, you’ll strip down and bend over. And in exchange, you can talk to my employees and members, look at the security footage, whatever.” He waved a dismissive hand, like my whole purpose for wanting to be here was secondary to the fucking.

  I took a deep breath. Even just the thought of thirty days in this man’s bed—and anywhere else he wanted to take me—was guaranteed to destroy my panties. But his terms? I couldn’t agree to those. Right?

  “What if I don’t want to sleep with you?” I asked. “Or what if I don’t like being tied up?”

  “You can’t tell me your panties aren’t soaked right now just thinking about me fucking you in all the ways I want to take you.” He said every word with absolute confidence. And why not? He was right. I just hated that he could read me so easily. “And as for you liking being bound? I think we both know you’re enjoying it so far,” he finished.

  “That doesn’t mean that I’m going to follow you around like some docile little sex slave for a month.” Was he insane?

  Burke smiled at me—sincerely smiled—and it was the first kind gesture I’d seen from him so far. My heart flipped in a way I didn’t want to think about. Shit, what was happening here? Was I seriously considering this?

  His expression turned serious again, and I missed the smile immediately. “Look, Lola. I’d never force you to do something you truly didn’t want to do. That’s not what we’re about here. What I want is for you to give up that control you cling to so tightly. I want you to forget who you are for a few moments and lose yourself in the feel of my hands and the restraints I choose for you. I want you to be so goddamn desperate for me to fuck you that you’re begging me to fill you with my cock.”

  I’d never been shy about sex. I was good at asking for—and getting—what I wanted. But the idea of letting go like he was asking, of trusting someone implicitly? My pulse was rioting in my throat, and I felt weak and dizzy. How far was I willing to go to get this story? I licked my lips, not wanting to admit that this man turned me on. And his blunt declaration that he wanted to fuck me was still ringing in my head. The idea of submitting, of shutting off the constant stream of thoughts and questions that ran through my head was seductive—almost too good to be true. I honestly didn’t know if I could ever relinquish that much control?

  “What if I freaked out? What if I couldn’t handle it and—” I started.

  “That’s the beauty of Dominance and submission,” Burke said, running his hand up my bare arm and caressing my neck. “The Dominant isn’t the one with the real power here. It’s the submissive who allows the Dom to have the power. The moment the sub wants that power back, it’s hers. This is all about an exchange of power and trust, not an ironclad contract. Both parties have to want it for this to work. I’d never consider playing with a woman who wasn’t just as interested in playing with me.”

  His touch felt electric on my skin, as though a current were passing through our bodies. I could feel every breath, every beat of his heart racing through his fingertips. Just ten minutes ago, I thought I had blown my chance to ever find out what happened to Hope, and now, here it was, on a silver platter—alongside the ultimate temptation. I just needed to hold on to my judgment for thirty days and figure out what happened to Hope. It was easy, right? Completely simple. So why did I have a feeling that I was completely screwed even before I agreed?

  * * *

  “So what did you say?” demanded Lainey as she leaned across the table.

  I laughed. She had been so enthralled in the story that she’d barely touched her martini, and now she was making up for it by taking a huge gulp, her wide blue eyes glued to mine.

  “I told him I’d think about it. What else was I going to say?”

  “But you’re going to do it, right?” she asked. “I mean, what’s the downside here? You solve a mystery, keep your job, and get to have lots of hot, kinky sex. It’s actually pretty unfair.”

  I smiled, but her words made me mentally slap myself. I had always judged people for how quickly they’d seemed to forget about tragedy, and here I was, doing it myself. All because some handsome man had propositioned me.

  “I have to do it. It’s the only way I’ll figure out what happened to Hope. I can’t just let her fade away…” My voice trailed off. I knew what it was like to lose someone you loved, and to watch the rest of the world move on without you. I couldn’t let that happen to Hope and her family. She deserved justice.

  Lainey reached across the table and took my hand. “Lola, you don’t have to take this all on yourself. You can’t start feeling defeated before you’ve even begun. Or,” she said, her eyes sparkling, “before you’ve even gotten to find out what they do with all those whips and chains.”

  I grinned against my will. She was right. I needed to make sure I didn’t get too emotionally involved in the case, because that could keep me from exploring every possibility, even ones I didn’t want to think about.

  “I don’t know that I’m ever going to find out about the whips and chains,” I told her.

  Lainey groaned and rolled her eyes. “Come on. You can’t go move into a sex dungeon and not try out the equipment! Besides, if this guy is as attractive as you say, you owe it to me to report back with the details. And I mean all the details,” she said.

  “I promise. You’ll be the first person I give the sex-dungeon details to. But don’t you think it’s weird that he wants me to stay with him for thirty days? What are we g
oing to do for that long?”

  “Well…” said Lainey, raising her eyebrows.

  “We can’t be having sex for thirty days straight. Am I supposed to just hang out in his apartment? Make him dinner? I don’t want to be his maid.”

  “Then tell him that,” she said, exasperated. “You’re acting as though agreeing to consider having sex with him automatically signs you up to be a housewife. He knows that you’re there to do a job.”

  “You’re right,” I said, shaking my head. “I just need to set out some rules of my own.”

  “There you go,” said Lainey, raising her martini glass. “Now, can we toast? To Lola, who’s not only going to solve a mystery—she’s going to do it with her hands tied behind her back!”

  * * *

  Later that night, I returned to my apartment. I knew I was going to accept Burke’s offer, but it still felt strange to walk into a situation in which I was going to willingly giving up control. All my life, I’d been the one to make decisions, to keep pushing forward when no one else would, and the idea of submitting to someone didn’t come naturally.

  But this wasn’t just about me. It was about Hope. And even though I knew rationally that I couldn’t take her disappearance, or the lack of success in solving the case, personally, it was hard not to. The similarities between me and Hope were undeniable; petite, with long, dark hair and big, brown eyes. I was a few years older, but we could easily have been sisters.

  I pulled out my suitcase and then came to a standstill. What was I supposed to pack? What do you bring for a month-long investigation at a BDSM club? I fished through my closet, discounting my sundresses and the loose, flowy tops that were my Austin summer staples. I came upon the pencil skirts I’d bought back in New York, when I was fresh out of school and interviewing for my first job. Maybe with the right shoes and makeup, I could pull off some kind of sexy-librarian thing. Send a message to Burke that I was serious and there to do a job. It seemed as good an option as anything.

  Besides, I had no idea what he was expecting of me. Or what I was expecting of him. He seemed convinced that my investigation would be fruitless, but I was sure if I could just get people to let their guards down around me, I could get to the truth.

  And then there was … him. I had never encountered a man who affected me the way he did; he cut right through my composure. And on top of that, I just wanted him. I wanted to know what it would be like for him to touch me, to make me moan. But I was nervous, too. Having my wrists bound earlier had been exciting, but what if I panicked when it went further than that? Or, perhaps just as frightening, what if I loved it?

  Chapter 4

  Lola

  Here we go.

  After being escorted through the club and up the private elevator leading to Burke’s apartment, I waited outside the door with the handle of my bag clutched in my hands. The security guard stood motionless beside me. Hearing someone moving behind the solid wood panel, I smoothed my hair down and tried my best to look unfazed, even though inside my stomach was doing backflips.

  Burke opened the door, and the backflips intensified. Damn he was handsome. He gestured for me to come inside, and as I walked past, I caught the subtle scent of his musky, woodsy cologne.

  “Thanks, Julian,” he said to the guard, and closed the door behind me.

  “So you decided to come back,” he said, his voice low.

  “For now,” I replied.

  He cocked an eyebrow. “The deal was thirty days.”

  “About that,” I said. “There are a few things we need to get straight.”

  “By all means,” Burke said, with just a hint of a smirk.

  I glanced behind him, taking in the sprawling apartment that took up the entire top floor of the building. Huge floor-to-ceiling windows lined the wall of the living room. A large, gray sectional sofa filled the center of the space, accented by a darker gray rug and heavy black coffee table. There were black and white photographs on the walls, and a modern kitchen with glossy black cabinets, stainless appliances, and a sleek gray counters. His taste was impeccable. This place was much nicer than my own. I guessed the old adage sex sells continued to ring true.

  I swallowed and composed myself. “First of all, this isn’t going to be some sort of master-slave thing. I’m not going to be scrubbing your floors or crawling around behind you.” Though by the looks of it, I was guessing he had a housekeeper because everything was spotless.

  “Not a problem, and sure as hell not why I want you here.” he said.

  Okay. Good.

  I grabbed my confidence with both hands and kept going. “I’m not calling you ‘sir’ all the time. And you’re not giving me a list of foods I can’t eat. And none of this ‘you can’t look me in the eye’ crap.”

  “A list of foods you can’t eat? What are you talking about?” Burke looked lost for a moment, and then, suddenly, he burst out laughing. “God, you read that fucking book, didn’t you?”

  My face heated, and I could only picture how red I must be turning. “It was research!”

  “Believe me, I have no interest in telling you what to eat.” He shook his head, still laughing. “Look, that book is bullshit. First of all, no one’s response to an erect cock should be ‘holy cow!”

  “What should one’s response be to an erect cock?” I challenged.

  “Sweetheart, if I have to tell you that, we’re in serious trouble.” His laughter quieted, and his mouth curved up in a lazy smile, before he continued. “But if it’s my erect cock, the perfect response would be to present yourself to me, with your cheek resting on the carpet, your ass up so that I can see your beautiful cunt and ass, both waiting to be filled.”

  My cheeks felt like they were on fire now. I wanted to feel repulsed by his blunt language, I wanted to tell him he was disgusting. Instead, all my blood rushed south, and I felt my pussy begin to throb.

  Composing himself, Burke continued. ”Besides, a real BDSM relationship is absolutely nothing like that.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She treats his interest in kink like it’s a fucking disease that she has to cure him of. Like it was caused by something traumatic that happened to him, rather than a part of who he is. That’s not how it works.”

  “Really?” I asked, feeling a bit foolish, but also relieved. “So how does it work?”

  “Well,” he said, “some people prefer to be in a twenty-four/seven D/s relationship. They may never step out of their roles even to do something as simple as grocery shopping. But that’s not my thing. I like to separate my sex life from my everyday life. In fact, I’d prefer that you look me in the eye when we’re having a normal conversation.”

  Knowing that I wasn’t going to have to sacrifice every aspect of my freedom was a huge weight off my shoulders, but there was still another issue I needed to address.

  “And what about the sex?” I asked.

  “You’re going to have to be more specific,” he said, a hint of laughter creeping back into his voice. “Are you talking about your inner goddess?”

  I laughed in spite of myself. “No, I think she’s asked all the questions she needs to. But what I do want to know is, what if I don’t … like it?”

  “You mean kink?” he asked.

  “Yeah. I don’t know if I’m going to. I’ve never tried it.”

  All humor faded from his expression, and Burke’s blue eyes darkened. He reached out and closed his hand around mine.

  “Lola, I want you to be here. I find you to be fascinating—and a huge pain in my ass. That said, I only want you to take part in things you truly need.”

  “Okay,” I said, nodding. “So just things I’m comfortable with?”

  He shook his head. “That’s not what I said. We’re going to push the boundaries of your comfort zone because that’s the only way I’ll be able to get you to let go. It should make you uncomfortable. But you should also want it. You should want to know what it feels like to pull against your restraints because
you’re coming so hard you can’t control yourself. You should want to know how your skin will sting after I’ve landed a strike with my whip. And if you really, truly don’t want to experience those things, then you shouldn’t be here at all.”

  I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. What did I want?

  I wanted to find out what had happened to Hope.

  I wanted to keep my job.

  And I wanted Burke.

  There was only one answer I could give that would guarantee me a shot at all three.

  “Okay,” I breathed. “I’m in.”

  Chapter 5

  Burke

  I didn’t want to admit, even to myself, how relieved I was when Lola said she would stay. Being rejected by a woman, as infrequently as it happened, was never something that bothered me. Every woman had her own preferences, and I could respect that. Besides, I never had to wait long to find someone who was just as interested as I was. But Lola was different, somehow. It was infuriating and arousing all at once.

  She’d wandered over to the window, taking in the view of the Colorado River in the evening. Hundreds of tiny lights sparkled in the trees, illuminating the cafes lining its shores. “The view from here is beautiful. I can see why you chose it,” she said distantly. People wandered on the paved paths below us, laughing, smiling, walking hand-in-hand. As she watched them, a brief look of longing came over her face.

  “And you’ll be seeing a lot more of it.” I was thinking about how much I was looking forward to fucking her up against those windows, exposed but at the same time anonymous, as the world went on below us.

  I led her down the hallway, our footsteps hushed by the long black runner that stretched the length between the living room and the bedroom. She paused next to a framed print that hung on the wall, and I could see her breath quicken.