The Dream Sifter (The Depths of Memory Book 1)

by Bundy, Candice

  No wonder my own reflection looks foreign to me. "So I bet you thought using my keener than average nose to find the thallium salts in the Stime's swamplands wasn't the best idea?"

  He shook his head, his frustration palpable. "I spoke to the Guardian you were with and explained she was to note in her reports I found the contamination, not you. Your name and the Durmah Sept name will be excluded from all of her reports."

  "Thanks."

  "No problem."

  "Although you're being vague, this is all beginning to come together. So after you healed me and altered my appearance, I assume you handed me over to the Temples for placement with the Durmah?" He nodded. "Wait. There was no miscarriage either, right? That was all part of the sham too?"

  "Correct. We used your supposedly barren state as part of your cover story to allow for your adoption by the Durmah."

  "Have I borne children?"

  "You haven't, but I doubt you're truly barren. You've never tried to conceive."

  "That doesn't make any sense. Are you saying I never performed my Temple service like every other female on Az'Unda?"

  "You never did. Your duties to the Anemoi took precedence over serving as a breeder for our colony."

  "What did I do for them that was so important?"

  The enigmatic sadness in his eyes drew her closer, but he kept distance between them. "You expect me to answer that?"

  "No, I suppose not. So, that's why the special plague medicinal formula they gave me after my supposed miscarriage dulled my senses? It was an attempt to prevent me from noticing and subsequently using my enhanced senses?"

  "Yes. Why'd you stop taking it, anyway?"

  "It numbed my tongue as well as my nose. It was annoying. Everything I ate tasted about as interesting as dirt, so I took the regular stuff instead."

  "Too bad. We should have thought that one through further."

  "Did you even test it before giving it to me?"

  A shadow passed over his face, and he was serious again. "I wasn't in charge of that part."

  Rai thought it best to switch the subject. "Can I ask something else?"

  He sighed. "Go ahead."

  She walked over to the computer terminal, and ran her hand over the broken part of the screen. "You mentioned I decorated this place. Did I once live here?"

  He followed her across the room. "You noticed that slip?" Rai gave a curt nod, unsure how far she could push him. "Yes, you did."

  "Weird. Yes, you're right. I do favor the decorating style. Now, how is it that I'm sixteen and yet somehow I used to live in this safe house in the middle of nowhere? What Sept would ever allow that?"

  Graeber crossed his arms and leaned up against the plastisene screen. "You're not sixteen...you're quite a bit older, and you've never been in a Sept before."

  "See, just as I think you're about to solve this puzzle for me, you have to go and start in on the crazy talk. Will you explain either of those answers?"

  "No."

  "I didn't think so." Rai reflected on all of this new information, unsure of what to ask next.

  "Have I at least managed to impress upon you the importance of staying hidden? Of not flaunting your abilities? Please try to at least appear to play the part of a Durmah Merchant?"

  "Yeah, yeah, keep my nose down lest the big bad Anemoi tries to kill me again. I'll do that, but what's the next step?"

  "Not just you. If it's discovered your sister and I kept you alive, they will sentence us to death as well. Your ability to play the part affects all three of us."

  Rai was stunned. "What was my crime?"

  "It's not important. You didn't deserve to die for it." His eyes smoldered banked rage.

  "Tell me," Rai said softly.

  "No. It reveals too much."

  Rai swore. "If you want me to cooperate, you're going to explain to me why I agreed to remove my memories, and evade my death sentence."

  "If only we could have removed your stubborn-headedness too." Graeber splayed his hands on the desk to his sides, his internal debate evident in the tension through his form. "You had a wild theory on the plague virus. You thought it was trying to communicate with us. You thought if you could crack the code, then perhaps that would be another way to put a stop to it."

  "Okay. That's bizarre, but so what?"

  Graeber's expression darkened. "You kept individuals without plague medicinal and recorded their delusional statements, in hopes you'd get messages from the virus itself."

  The urge to vomit soured her throat, the pain flaring throughout her chest. "How many died from my experiments?" Graeber wouldn't meet her eyes, and she had to fight against a sudden buckling sensation in her knees. "How. Many."

  "Dozens."

  Rai bent over as the pain from her chest spread to her solar plexus. Breathing hurt. "You should have let them kill me. Let me stay dead," she whispered.

  "Many unusual things have been tried to combat this plague. Your experiments did yield interesting results. You showed the virus might have some sort of driving force. However, they destroyed your research before it could be fully analyzed."

  The deadpan delivery in his voice didn't convince her of his sincerity. How could it, when he'd revealed her monstrous actions?

  "Don't you hate me for what I did?" Rai looked up into his eyes, yet saw only compassion.

  "This planet is a harsh mistress. Don't blame yourself for her extremes. No, I don't hate you for it, and neither does your sister. However, the Anemoi would not take kindly to finding out we'd saved you."

  She blinked slowly, confused why Graeber and her sister would risk everything after what she'd done. They didn't hate her as the other Anemoi, but it didn't stop her from despising herself.

  "I'll do my best to stay hidden. Whatever it takes, so you two don't pay for my mistakes. After that, what's the next step?" The words felt hollow falling from her lips--as empty as she felt inside.

  "I don't have that answer for you yet. Honestly, I didn't think we'd make it this far."

  "I suppose I'm glad to still be alive. One day you're going to unlock my memories, right?"

  "It might be a long time from now, but yes, that would be our goal. When it's safe to do so, I can unlock them for you. For now we've got to find a way to curtail your dreams, or they'll go getting you into more trouble."

  Knowing her memories still existed, and she'd get them back someday gave Rai a sense of peace. She finally had a measure of control in her life. It was small, but nonetheless, measurable.

  "My sister Jesse mentioned some medicinal, faown. It brings on a deeper sleep and stops you from dreaming. I can try that."

  He nodded and pulled a device out of his vest pocket. "That's not a bad idea. I'll do some research on my end and let you know if I find anything else that might help. We need to head back while there's still light. The sun's starting to set and we don't want the Durmah suspecting anything unusual."

  Rai walked to the door and he followed behind her. "Will we be able to talk again? I know I'll have more questions for you after I have a chance to process all of this information."

  "Yes, but we have to be discreet. You'd do well to go back to acting as you have toward me." He motioned for her to ascend the staircase ahead of him, and followed behind her while he intently accessed a series of menus on his hand-held device.

  "What are you doing?"

  "I'm erasing the records of your handprint accessing these doorlocks." He returned the device to his vest pocket. "There. Now if anyone checks the logs they'll be clean."

  After they reached the top, Rai watched the door slide back down and into place, closing the opening in the mound and perfectly concealing the entrance. Rai picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder while admiring the russet, violet and golden tones of the beautiful sunset reflected in the still lake of Harper's Sorrow. Graeber led the way back to camp.

  He'd revealed so many mysteries of her past, and yet everything would stay the same. She'd go back to the Waystati
on with Jesse and keep herself out of trouble. How hard could that be? The prospect of sitting around and hoping the Anemoi wouldn't find her wasn't exactly her cup of tea. Rai wanted to do something, not hide and cower.

  "Look, I know it's not an exciting future, but it is the safest course at this time."

  Rai stopped short. "Stop it, you rude bastard!" This time she hadn't even sensed him eavesdropping.

  "I've been called worse, by you." He shrugged, his admission not surprising her. "You can't keep running around, trying to hunt down clues to your past and attempting to save the planet's problems anymore! You need to settle down and behave like a normal citizen!"

  "I understand what you're saying, I do. What am I supposed to tell the Durmah? I mean, we've been checking into the tainted luna berries to make sure the Matriarchs don't think Durmah's involved. Wait, did you poison the berries?"

  "No," he scowled. "I've been protecting the people of Az'Unda for longer than you can imagine. Why would I try to kill them off now?"

  Rai shrugged her shoulders. "I didn't think so...not really. It's just, someone set those dispersal units."

  "As hard as this is for you to hear: Let. It. Go. Others will figure it out from here."

  "I'll try. The Durmah also know I've had dreams of my past that reminded me of this place. How do I explain those?"

  "It's simple. Tell them you found nothing. Perhaps tell them I lectured you on the dangers of wandering off and outside of the protection of the Guardians. You're very creative, I'm sure you'll come up with something. You can leave the luna berry issue to me. I'll make it clear the Durmah name has been cleared so they can go back to business as normal."

  Rai tried to imagine Ponar's reaction when she told him that she'd found nothing. She'd have to act disappointed if he was going to buy it. Perhaps Graeber was wrong. Why couldn't she trust Ponar, and for that matter Jesse as well, to keep her secrets?

  "I'd advise against trusting them," he replied to her unspoken thoughts. "They're good people, but its best you share none of what we've talked about today with anyone. In fact, I have to recommend avoiding physical contact with them too."

  Rai flashed back to earlier that afternoon, and how she'd watched Ponar's tanned and muscular frame. She thought fleetingly of when she'd first met him at the Waystation in Kiya's Grace, and then deliberately suppressed all imagery of Ponar. "What do you mean?" she asked, unable to contain a slight blush.

  If he'd been reading Rai, Graeber gave no outward sign of it. "Physical contact makes reading another much easier, but it also creates a false intimacy with the other person. If you're not used to it, such as in your case when you don't have a full grip on your abilities, it can be difficult to control your reaction and differentiate your thoughts and emotions from the other persons."

  Rai blushed from her head to her toes. "Well, that explains a few things. I'll be very careful to follow your advice in the future."

  "You do that," he replied, his face blank of emotions. "The camp is just down the hill. We should be going."

  "One final thing. You said you and my sister, was her name 'Bo'? You mentioned the name earlier, saved me from the fate the Anemoi had in store for me?"

  Graeber hesitated, and Rai wondered if he'd rather she'd not have remembered the name. "Bau. We need to go." He turned and walked away.

  "One more moment won't change anything." He stopped, but didn't turn to face her. "I can understand how my sister, Bau, wanted to save me. Why you?"

  Graeber turned and walked back toward Rai, measuring every step as he stalked his prey. He walked right up to her, until they almost touched. The look in his eyes was feral, beast-like, and panic shot through her. His scent was hungry, deadly, and she knew this hunter never lost his quarry. Irrationally, she didn't want to escape Graeber's intense focus--but instead wondered what would happen if he caught her.

  He leaned in and, taking great care not to let their skin come into contact, whispered into her ear. "Ah, Kilawren. It's a shame. You were so clever once. I'd help you out, but I'm quite sure you can figure this one out all on your own."

  Graeber turned on his heel and walked away, leaving Rai alone on the hill in the twilight.

  Rai stood there, gasping, with tears running down her face. Graeber was right. She could have--no, should have--figured it out all on her own.

  *

  Meik watched Rai and the Guardian standing there talking, apparently unaware of his presence. Meik prided himself, amongst many things, on his ability to interpret other's body language. All it took was paying a little attention to detail, after all. Besides being a fun sport, Meik was always amazed at how much information you could gather when others weren't aware you were watching them.

  As he leaned into the bark of the large tree, Meik strained to hear what they were discussing but he couldn't quite make it out. The Guardian looked and sounded very serious, he had that what Meik had come to think of as his no-nonsense face on as he stood with his arms crossed and kept shaking his head with every response. Did he practice that in front of a mirror, or did it just come naturally for someone with such an over-inflated ego?

  Rai kept asking the Guardian questions. Meik could tell they were questions because of the way she kept shrugging her shoulders and tilting her head to the side looking all confused like; Rai did that all the time. The Guardian kept shaking his head no, and looked to be stonewalling her. Nothing new there, Meik thought. That girl was a bit silly at times. She said and asked things no one should talk about aloud, and never in front of a Guardian.

  Meik wondered if he should intervene before she angered the Guardian. Now he was smiling at her as she blushed and looked even more confused. Poor girl, that Guardian was making her feel like an idiot.

  Then the Guardian took a few steps down toward the camp, but it looked like Rai didn't want to give up her argument. She just kept talking and talking. The Guardian's irritation rolled off his muscular form as his muscles bunched and hands clenched. Suddenly the Guardian turned and stomped right back up to the girl, looking darned angry. Meik half expected the Guardian to slap Rai, but instead he was, what? Whispering in her ear? Next thing he knew, the Guardian walked away from Rai, leaving her alone in the dark. But why did she stand there crying?

  Meik didn't know what to make of it, other than it made him uncomfortable. What in the moons was going on here? Rai stood there for a few minutes, which made Meik worry that she was injured. He almost moseyed up to check on her, but he didn't want her knowing he'd been watching their exchange. Rai then walked down the hill toward the camp so he didn't have to intervene.

  He wanted to know what the Guardian had said to Rai. It looked like they'd talked quite a lot, to get into arguments that heated and emotional and all. Meik knew he'd know soon enough though. Rai was a Durmah, and she'd be sure to share any interesting details at the next available opportunity.

  Meik couldn't wait to find out.

  *

  #BEGIN TRANSMISSION#

  #ROUTING CODE: ANEMOI BAULEEL, ROAMING COM W9-62B TO GUARDIAN GRAEBER, GUARDIAN SEPT, ROAMING COM H3-29Y#

  #ENCRYPTION: HIGH#

  #PRIORITY: HIGH#

  BAULEEL: Sorry I've been incommunicado these last two weeks. If you haven't already heard, there was an incident at the Raven's Call Technician's Guild.

  GRAEBER: I tried to reach you via com, but you never answered. What's happened? Are you all right?

  BAULEEL: Terem Zebio, that plague-ridden child you brought in a few months ago, not only maintained a successful mutation ratio, but also managed to escape the confines of his cell and destroy most of the facility two weeks ago. I came upon him in his rampage in the Technician's wing, and then was taken by surprise and almost killed. Worse, he used my handprint to activate the supply door. When he kills again, that blood will be on my hands.

  I was a fool. Doubly so because I barred them from terminating him when it was still a viable option.

  From what Matriarch/Anemoi Natre (elected this very
morning by the Elder's Council -- and I'm sure manipulated into position by the Anemoi) told the surviving Technicians this morning, it appears although he escaped, he hasn't attacked anyone within the city or surrounding farms. I can't imagine why he's stopped, but we're lucky he hasn't yet.

  GRAEBER: I don't have to tell you but that is extremely unusual behavior for a Terror. Something I've never heard of before.

  BAULEEL: I've left the Temple and plan on staying off the grid. I have no idea where he is, but I'm going to find out. Then I'm going to kill him. That little project of ours you've been attending to doesn't need your watchful eye anymore.

  I forgot to mention I have a Technician with me. I made him a deal to explain the scans from the triage crèche with him in exchange for helping me get away from the Temple safely, but I'm not sure how I'll keep my bargain. We Anemoi keep so many, many secrets. How do I explain the Methuselah treatments without dragging him deeper into our web?

  GRAEBER: I'm afraid the timing of your request is a challenge for me. My project is at a critical stage. I'll get back with you in a few days. Will the Technician be an aide or hindrance? I doubt he can protect you.

  BAULEEL: He saved my life once, and he has my trust, as far as I'll give it. Don't take too long stabilizing your current situation or you'll miss out on the hunt.

  Send replies only to this roaming comm. Please keep in mind Natre now has access to my old terminal and therefore must know we've been corresponding. I doubt she's cracked my access codes for personal items, so she hasn't read the content of those messages, but the frequency would give her pause.

  We must assume she will at the least suspect something is going on, and we've not been altogether truthful. Perhaps she'll assume we plot some future conspiracy.