One to Tell the Grandkids

by Kristina M Sanchez

  Sitting back on her stool, Taryn put down the makeup and put her hand to her belly. “But things don’t work out just because they make for a romantic story. I’m telling you this because you’re on Caleb’s side, and someone should be. Someone should be looking out for him. Let’s just put aside the fact I have no idea how Slate would react to all this. But as much as I love him, as cool as he is, he is the little brother in this situation, you know?”

  There was a fluttering at her abdomen, and Taryn rubbed her hand over the swell. “I haven’t forgotten about you.” She cupped the back of her neck with her free hand as she looked back at Ann. “That’s another thing I’d love to talk to you about. You gave up your son because you thought that was what was best for him.

  “How messed up is this situation on a scale of one to ten? Maybe an eleven, right? I never even thought about dating before, and now that I’m pregnant by a guy whose name I didn’t even remember afterward, suddenly I’m all kinds of attracted to someone else. Putting aside who the guy is to Slate, and that he’s your brother, isn’t that messed up on its own?”

  Shaking her head, Taryn set back to work, adding a gentle pink to Ann’s cheeks. Just enough to make her look human instead of like a wax museum castoff. “I don’t know what the right thing is. Not for me or Slate or Caleb or Patch.” She paused, overwhelmed by a wave of emotion that made her eyes cloud with tears. She took a moment to wipe them away before she returned to her task.

  “But I’m probably getting ahead of myself.” She sniffled and laughed at her melodrama. “I’m not blind. So Caleb is attracted to me. I’d like to think you would have given him crap for that because who knows why. But attraction doesn’t have to have any other implications. It didn’t for me and Slate.”

  Taryn put down her brush and bit the inside of her cheek. The way Caleb looked at her, the way the air tasted when they were together, felt like more than attraction. It just felt more.

  “Anyway.” She began to put all the makeup back in her bag, making sure everything was tight and in order. “I want you to know I have his back. Whatever is happening between us, I’ll think of him. Not first”—she touched her hand to her bump— “but I won’t hurt him. I promise I have honorable intentions.” She shrugged. “It’s probably nothing. It’s probably pregnancy hormones and grief escapism.”

  Taryn took a moment to study Ann’s face on a professional level, searching for flaws in her work. She looked good. As good as a dead woman could. “Fate dealt you a really crappy hand, you know that? But don’t worry about Caleb. We’ll take care of him.

  “And if you see Bailey, tell her I’m sorry and I love her.”

  Chapter Twenty

  “Ann looks beautiful. Your girl did a great job.”

  Caleb didn’t answer his father. He pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth and tried not to think of useless things like how Ann never would have picked out the pale purple dress she was in now. Ann loved purple, but that was about the only thing John had gotten right.

  “I like her a lot better than that other one a few years ago,” John said as if he didn’t notice Caleb’s silence. “What was her name? Laura? Lainey. Leslie?”

  “I’m going to go make sure the programs are laid out correctly.” Caleb took off without a backward glance.

  John followed him and grabbed his arm. “Caleb.”

  Caleb stopped, but he kept his face forward. If he’d been alone, he would have had Ann dressed in one or more of her shirts. Toward the middle of her illness, Ann had been obsessed with shirts. She would take every single one she had out, lay them on the bed, and stare at them one by one for hours. At one point, there was nothing in the world that made Ann happier than a new shirt.

  “The programs were fine when you put them out ten minutes ago. They’ll be fine when everyone gets here. Can we talk?”

  “About what?”

  “Sit down. Come sit down.” John tugged on his arm, trying to draw him back into the viewing room. There were pews set up so the room could act as a makeshift chapel, but despite the pleas of their more devout cousins, both the viewing and the funeral would be nondenominational. Ann had been an atheist, which she’d told him once was a comfort. Who could blame her? Caleb was uncomfortable about a God who could create his sister’s disease and still be called benevolent.

  “Caleb.” His father was trying to get his attention again.

  “What do you want?”

  John shifted in his seat. “Times like these remind us not to take what we have for granted.”

  “I’m not in the habit of taking what I have for granted.” He knew damn well what his father was getting at, but he wasn’t in the mood to play the good son.

  “I want to be a part of your life, Caleb. I know you’re pissed at me. I get it, but there’s a limit, isn’t there? We’ve gotten along well enough planning this thing.”

  Caleb’s cheek twitched. “We got along well enough because I didn’t argue with you. I—” He cut himself off. He was angry, and this was going to be a long day.

  “Your girlfriend is pregnant.”

  Caleb’s breath caught.

  “You weren’t going to even tell me I’m going to be a grandfather?”

  Caleb had to laugh. “She’s not my girlfriend, and it’s not my baby.”

  The look of confusion on John’s face would have been funny under other circumstances, but if anything, the desolation that had settled over Caleb early that morning only deepened.

  “I’m sorry. You looked like a couple before. She hardly left you alone.”

  His father’s words triggered an ache in him Caleb didn’t want to acknowledge. His throat tightened, which he found most unfortunate because it prevented him from answering before John went on. “How’s life on that front, then? Any girlfriends? Boyfriends?”

  “No, Dad. How about you? Any new boyfriends or girlfriends? Or is your second family working out a little better than your first? No deadly diseases to contend with, so you’re doing okay this time around?”

  “Caleb.”

  “What?”

  “This isn’t the time or place for this discussion.”

  “No, only the discussions you want to have.” Caleb flexed his fists at his side and took a deep breath. “Heaven forbid. You’re right. We shouldn’t tell the truth today.” He waved his hand to interrupt John before he could reply. “Look, it’s fine. I understand. Ann is dead. I can’t bug you to see her. All the awkwardness can just go away and we’ll get on with our lives, is that it?”

  “I’m the only family you have left.”

  Stung, Caleb stared down at his shoes. He chuffed and raised his head. “Don’t worry about me.”

  “Caleb—”

  Caleb had already stood, turned on his heel and was out the doors. He went to the table where the programs were scattered, and even though they were laid out perfectly fine, he rearranged them into a new formation around the picture of his sister in better days. It was a candid shot, taken by her then-boyfriend. Her smile was huge, her eyes bright, beautiful, and alive. Though the picture didn’t show it, she’d been pregnant when that shot was taken, and the world had looked like a brighter place.

  “Doesn’t seem like a lot to ask, does it, Annie?” He brushed his fingertips over her cheek. “Everyone else gets husbands and wives and babies. I guess you and I are just cursed.” He touched his palm to his chest over his tattoo. “I can’t complain. I’m here and you’re not.”

  The sound of a car pulling up outside caught his attention. He looked up to see a cousin getting out. “Here goes nothing.”

  “Should I be here?” Taryn asked as they pulled up to the mortuary’s parking lot.

  Beside her, Mel snorted. “Tare, if you shouldn’t be here, then I might be breaking several taboos.”

  “I hope it’s all okay. I don’t want to make life harder on Caleb.”

  “You’re here to support him.”

  “But you aren’t.”

  “Sure I am. I
liked the guy the couple times I met him, and one way or another, your sister dying just plain sucks. But you’re here to support him, and I’m here to support you. If that’s the worst thing he has to deal with today, well . . .” She shrugged.

  Taryn wrung her hands. “Okay, that’s not comforting.”

  “Sorry. I’m out of practice.” Mel fixed her with a sideways look. “I’m glad you called, though. I’ve missed you these last few weeks.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You’ve been mostly MIA for a while now. And I get it. Baby Daddy and Mr. Tortured Soul in there.” She gestured at the mortuary. “There’s a lot going on in your life. Just don’t forget to check in once in a while. Me and Rob, we want to know how you and Patch are doing.”

  “We’re fine. Things are good. Why wouldn’t they be?”

  Mel raised a challenging eyebrow, and Taryn slumped. “No, really. It’s all fine with Slate. That’s the most important thing, isn’t it?”

  “Maybe it’s the most important thing, but it isn’t the only thing. What else is going on with you?”

  Taryn bit the inside of her cheek.

  “You can tell me anything.”

  “Okay. I maybe, might have had sex with Caleb.” She clapped her hand over her mouth.

  Mel blinked at her. “Wow. Okay, overachiever. I was thinking it was something about Mike.”

  “Mike? He’s maintaining radio silence right now. I told you that.”

  “He’s an asshole. Moving on. Whoa. Rob told me you had a crush on this guy, but I didn’t really believe him. You with a crush.” She shook her head as though the idea was out of the realm of believability. “When did this sex happen?”

  “A few nights ago.” Since Mel was already in shock, Taryn figured she might as well go for broke. “The night his sister died.”

  Mel mouthed wow but no sound came out.

  “I know.” Taryn groaned and leaned forward against the dash, burying her head in her arms. “It’s messed up, right?”

  “I think the word you’re going for is complicated, not messed up.”

  “How is this not messed up?”

  “Did you seduce him when he was in a vulnerable state?”

  “What? No.”

  “You and Slate didn’t get together when I wasn’t looking, right?”

  “No.”

  “Okay. So what you’re saying is you, a consenting adult, had consensual sex with Caleb, a consenting adult, while neither of you was otherwise attached to anyone else.”

  “I am having another man’s baby.”

  “Oh, are we really going to go there? Leave the baby out of this for a minute.”

  “I can’t leave the baby out of this. Don’t you get it? That’s the whole point. Caleb is Slate’s best friend.”

  “Which makes the situation complicated, not messed up.” Mel eyed her. “Rob was right, wasn’t he? You do have a crush on him. This wasn’t just some random, life-affirming-funeral-sex sex, right? That’s what has you angsting out.”

  Taryn’s breath left her in a huff. “Not for me.”

  “And for him?”

  “I don’t know.” She told her friend about what had happened and what Caleb had said the morning after.

  Mel tapped her lips. “Bottom line this for me. Don’t think about anyone but you. Tell me what you want in your heart of hearts.”

  “But it’s not just me, it—”

  “Taryn. Telling me what you want isn’t the same thing as making a choice. It’s okay to wish for something even if it’s not a good idea.”

  “Okay. Okay.” She fidgeted. “Yes.”

  “Yes what?”

  “Yes, I want him. I don’t even know what it means to want someone, to want more.”

  Melanie’s grin was blinding. “Great. Now you know.” She patted Taryn’s arm and got out of the car.

  “Wait.” Taryn hurried after her. “That’s it? That’s all you have to say?”

  “Don’t know what to tell you. Caleb doesn’t set off any warning bells, so as a friend, I can only support whatever decision you come to. If he’s a decent guy and he’s what you want, the rest is semantics.”

  “But . . . Slate.”

  “Semantics.” Mel stopped short and wrapped Taryn up in her arms. “You’re a better person than you give yourself credit for. I trust your judgment. You should, too.”

  “What if,” Taryn started, but she couldn’t finish the sentence. There were too many variables to fill in.

  “Life’s not a guarantee, but you know that. The worst that can happen is everything can go horribly wrong, and what can I say? That’s true of anyone’s life at any given time. But you have friends, and that’s what friends are for—to help you pick up the pieces.”

  “So helpful.”

  “Yeah, but you know what the opposite of disaster is?” She nodded to where Caleb stood talking to Slate. “This could be the start of something really great. Your timing sucks. I mean, wow, that’s bad, but so what? You may as well see if it’s something you can get past. If it’s worth it. If he’s worth it.”

  They had been there for twenty minutes, and Taryn had yet to talk to Caleb. Person after person, his relatives and friends, came to express their condolences. She couldn’t hear what the others were saying to him, but it couldn’t have been anything good. If she was reading the tense set of Caleb’s jaw, he was about ready to explode.

  “Okay. I’ve got to do something,” Taryn said to Mel and Slate as she pushed off the wall.

  She pushed through the small crowd. “Excuse me. Sorry. Pardon me.” When she got to Caleb’s side, she reached out to put her hand on his arm. “Hey.”

  He turned, and when he saw her, she thought she saw relief cross his features. “Hey.”

  “I’m sorry to bother you, Mr. Ryder, but there’s just the smallest, er, matter we need to speak about.” She leaned away from the crowd as if expecting Caleb to follow.

  “Right.” Caleb turned to the man he’d been speaking to. “Sorry about that, Dave.”

  Dave waved his hand and patted Caleb’s shoulder. “Always something, right? Don’t worry about it. We’ll catch up soon.”

  Caleb fell into step beside her, and Taryn led him away from the mortuary’s three viewing rooms and into the office area. She ducked into an office she knew was both empty and unlocked.

  To her surprise, Caleb reached out and pulled her close. He cupped her face and kissed her. It was a hard kiss, desperate, until she kissed him back. Then he relaxed. His body slumped toward hers. His thumbs stroked her cheeks. His mouth moved more gently as he kissed her again and again. Taryn pressed one hand against his shoulder blade and let the other rest behind his neck.

  When they parted, he only let his hands drop to her waist. He kept his arms looped around her in a loose hold. “Thank you for that.”

  “You looked like you could use a break.” She brushed his cheek with her fingertips. “What’s wrong? I mean, that’s probably a stupid question, but it seems like it’s more than what’s to be expected.”

  “I don’t know. Nothing, really.” He swayed them back and forth a bit as he spoke. “I haven’t seen any of these people in years. None of them saw Annie after she got bad off. But they’re all talking about how it’s been so long, time flies, they meant to visit, blah, blah, blah.” He gritted his teeth, but just as quickly as his anger flared, it faded again. “I’m sorry I’m so angry.”

  “You don’t have to be sorry. It’s hard. On the one hand, it’s human to be so hypocritical. We all say stupid things at funerals, as though we’re going to stop taking our loved ones for granted. But all your family had advanced notice. They could have come and said everything they wanted to say to Ann before she died.”

  “Yeah.” He lifted his head to look at her and took her face in his hands again. “That and I really hate this whole process. This viewing. The funeral.”

  He kissed her again, and Taryn let him. She’d missed this, longed for this aft
er their night together. She’d worried those kisses, that precious little time, was all they had.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, breaking their kiss. “I know I’m not being fair to you with this.” He brushed his nose against hers and pecked her lips. “I wish we could go somewhere. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to do any of this. This whole thing. The funeral tomorrow.”

  “I don’t blame you.” She threaded her fingers through his hair, combing it back off his face. “Do you want to sit in the back with Slate, Robin, and me?”

  He looked like he wanted to say yes, but he sighed. “I don’t know. My family would expect me to be up front.”

  “Your extended family should be here for you. This is your loss.” She stroked her thumbs behind his ears. “Yours and maybe your dad’s, but you know what? Screw him. Today, just screw him and what he needs. You were there for Ann the last years of her life. You deserve whatever you need to get through this. Stay for the viewing, because I don’t want you to have regrets, but let them come to you.”

  His arms tightened around her. “Okay,” he said.

  “Okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay.” She found his hand and threaded their fingers together. “Let’s do this, then.”

  They walked together back toward the chapels. The lobby had emptied out, and everyone was sitting in the pews, waiting. Before they walked through the doors, Caleb dropped her hand. It stung, but Taryn understood. Besides, when she took a seat at the very back of the room beside Melanie and Slate, Caleb took the seat beside her.

  This was about him, she reminded herself. Today was about what he needed.

  Everything else would have to wait.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Caleb wasn’t normally a morning person. It was why owning a bar had always suited him. The night he could deal with, but he had to be dragged kicking and screaming into the morning.

  This morning, Caleb woke but didn’t open his eyes right away. His muddled mind struggled for information. What day was it? Did he have an appointment? Was an alarm ringing? His bed was comfortable, and he wasn’t keen on moving. He spread his hand wide over a pleasingly soft, warm shape, feeling a nudge against his palm his brain didn’t translate for minutes on end.