Blood Tears

by JD Nixon

  “I hear you,” I said again, before leaving.

  I rang the Sarge, and joined him in the patrol car.

  “Do you need another hug after that?” he asked.

  “No, I just want to go home, please.” I couldn’t help the catch in my voice, but I desperately needed to be alone.

  “Okay,” he said without another word. The only thing we said to each other for the next ninety minutes was me thanking him for dropping me off home.

  Dad came rolling towards me when I stepped inside.

  “What’s happening, Tessie? Jake turned up earlier and took all his guitars. He didn’t say much, and I had the distinct impression he was avoiding making any eye contact with me. He smelled like he’d been drinking.”

  My face crumpled again.

  “Tessie, love. What’s going on?”

  “Jake dumped me today,” I managed to say.

  “No,” he said, shocked.

  “Afraid so, Dad.”

  “No. That’s not how it happens. No Bycraft bastard does that to my girl.” His fists clenched and his body tensed.

  I squeezed his forearm gently, worried he’d use up his precious energy stores in anger. “It’s okay, Dad. I’ll deal with it. I’ll be fine, I promise.”

  He stared at me with tears in his eyes. “Come here.”

  I went there and we hugged tightly for a long time, both of us blinking away tears.

  “You’re going to meet someone worthy of you, Tessie. I mean that. You’re a beautiful person in every way. And if most of the stupid men in the world can’t realise that, then one smart man will. And he’s going to end up with a real treasure.”

  “Dad, don’t,” I said, not wanting any cheering up. “I’ll be okay. I’m going to have a shower.”

  “Tessie . . .”

  “No more, Dad. I’ll be fine, but please, just leave me be tonight. Please.”

  I took a shower, and as the hot water hit my skin I sank down to the bath and curled up into a ball, and cried my eyes out. And when my tears and the hot water both ran out, I went to bed. I lay in the dark and rang my friend, Marianne, listening to her comforting words, much as I had after that traumatic breakup I’d had with my previous arsehole of a boyfriend, Mitch.

  Positive I’d have some sort of nightmare, I slept the whole night through, waking at my normal time.

  I went through my usual routine like a zombie, not really paying attention to anything. I decided to jog as I always did, figuring some hard physical activity would keep my mind from dwelling on what had happened yesterday.

  My mood reflected the weather – grey, heavy, and threatening to rain at any minute. To my surprise, the Sarge waited patiently for me at the gate. I hadn’t had a regular jogging partner for a while, as Romi was often up late at night studying and completing assignments in her final year of high school. She was usually too tired to get up any earlier in the morning than she needed to catch the bus to school in Big Town. And now she’d finished high school, she was busy helping Abe in the bistro every night.

  “Morning,” he said congenially, diplomatically ignoring my miserable mood and red-rimmed eyes.

  “Hello,” I mumbled, not particularly wanting any company this morning, and pretty sure I wouldn’t prove to be a good companion either.

  “I guess your jibes about my weight must have struck a nerve,” he said, the casualness of his tone belying the intensity of his scrutiny of me.

  I stared at the ground, kicking at the dirt. “It was rude of me to say that. I’m sorry.”

  “Perhaps, but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.”

  We jogged off. I set a cracking pace, determined to drive out the last vestiges of tears. I refused to shed one more tear over Jake. I refused to let people see how much he’d hurt me.

  On our return, the Sarge stretched his aching muscles, his face a bit red and sweaty.

  “No wonder you lost so much weight while I was away if you’ve been running like that every day.”

  “Twice a day sometimes,” I said, doing some stretching myself.

  “I should have been more vigilant in keeping up my exercising while I was overseas,” he rued.

  “That’s what holidays are for, isn’t it? Lazing around and forgetting about your usual routine?” Not that I’d know – I didn’t have any money for frivolous things like holidays. I glanced at him briefly. “Do you want to stay for breakfast?”

  “If it’s no imposition.”

  I shrugged, not really caring. “I have to make some anyway, so you might as well.”

  “Considering that gracious invitation, how could I possibly say no?”

  That brought the tiniest little reluctant curve to my lips. “That’s me. Ms Gracious in person.”

  He laid a hand on my shoulder, suddenly serious. “How are you today, Tessie?”

  I shrugged again. “All right, I suppose. I’ve had my big tearfest over it. Time to get on with the rest of my life, right?”

  “Yep. Best thing to do.” He eyed me for a moment. “You’re not going to try to contact him? Talk it over?”

  “No,” I said in a hard voice that surprised even me. “He made it pretty clear yesterday he wanted to finish it. If he wants to talk about it further, then he can contact me. Not that I’m guaranteeing I’ll even want to talk to him if he does that.”

  “That’s the spirit.”

  I laughed without humour. “The funny thing is that everybody so far has said that I can do better than him. The Super even said she was glad he dumped me.” I laughed again. “It’s going to be awkward for everyone if we ever get back together.”

  His gaze was steadfast on me. “I won’t change my opinion about what I said even if you do reconcile, which I hope you don’t. You do deserve better than a Bycraft, especially a married one.”

  “Thanks, Sarge. I think.” I blew out air. “I guess some people are just fated to be unlucky in love. I’m one of them.”

  “Not true. I can tell you’re going to have a wonderful future.”

  I laughed genuinely. “There you go again – doing a Lavinia. I don’t know what you learned when you were overseas, but it sounds fascinating.”

  “You’d be surprised what I learned when I was overseas.”

  “Well, now you better come and learn what I’m making for breakfast, or we’ll both be late for work.”

  He kept the banter light while we ate. It was just the two of us, as Dad didn’t make an appearance. The Sarge waited patiently while I had a shower, and made up a tray for Dad’s breakfast. I peeped in on him with concern before I left the house. With a heavy ball of dread in my stomach that we were rapidly coming to a crunch time with his illness, we drove off to the station.

  Chapter 26

  “What’s on the agenda for today?” I asked the Sarge when he turned up after detouring to his place to get ready. I carefully placed his cup of tea on his desk.

  “I think we’ll just have a nice routine kind of day. We’ll catch up on paperwork, walk the beat a bit later this morning, and perhaps do some radar work this afternoon. How does that sound?”

  “Very routine. Absolutely perfect.”

  It was tranquil that morning, both of us working industriously, with only a couple of misdialled phone calls for the Saucy Sirens Gentlemen’s Club breaking the peace. It was soothing and calm, and exactly what I needed. The Sarge took the time to phone Dave to check on him. I rang Mr X to see if they had any further information on Annabel’s whereabouts, but he had nothing to report.

  “Okay,” the Sarge said as I crammed the last part of a Tim Tam into my mouth, washing it down with the last sip of tea. “Now you’ve finished stuffing your face, let’s go walk the beat.”

  “I wasn’t stuffing my face,” I said with chagrin, brushing a snowstorm of crumbs off my shirt. “What a horrible thing to say. I was merely having a little snack to keep my energy up.”

  “Little? I’ve seen smaller feasts at a medieval banquet.”

  “Shu
t up, you,” I said, throwing his cap to him. “Everyone knows chocolate makes you feel better when you’re down.”

  “Then you must now be the happiest woman in the world, judging by the quantity of chocolate you just inhaled.”

  “You know what?”

  “What?”

  “I’m just remembering how nice it was here without you.”

  He smiled, giving me a little push towards the front door. “I’m sure you’ll also remember that there weren’t any Tim Tams without me here either.”

  “Sadly true.”

  “I’m still waiting for that ‘welcome back’ from you.”

  “Don’t hold your breath.”

  “I know you missed me.”

  “I’ve never said that.”

  “I’m good at reading between the lines.”

  “You keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.”

  We strolled around the town’s two main shopping streets, not in any particular hurry, and not for any particular purpose. We used it as a way to raise our profile, informally interact with the townsfolk, and assure them that there was a police presence in Little Town, no matter how inadequate we sometimes seemed against the overwhelming criminality of the Bycraft horde.

  Although nobody said anything directly to me, I couldn’t fail to observe the sympathetic faces and eyes turned towards me as we passed various townsfolk on our meanderings. The news about Jake and me had obviously spread far and wide.

  “I hate that,” I said to the Sarge after enduring it for a while.

  “Hate what?”

  “People feeling sorry for me because Jake dumped me.”

  “I haven’t noticed anything like that. I think you’re being a bit sensitive about it, Tessie.”

  Just then, Lavinia burst out of the pharmacy, almost quivering with excitement when she clapped eyes on us.

  “Teresa Fuller,” she said breathlessly, her eyes shining.

  “Lavinia,” I said neutrally, dreading what was coming.

  She stroked her fingers up and down my arm, nearly having me reaching for my capsicum spray. Instead, catching the Sarge’s censorious eye, I stepped backwards out of her grasp.

  “So sad,” she said. “Always so sad when love is broken, and lovers separate. Whether they initiate it,” a lingering, discomfortingly lustful, glance at the Sarge, “or are unfortunately the one let go.”

  Her eyes on me weren’t filled with any kind of empathy, and I thought I detected almost a hint of glee in their depths. She was relishing my unhappiness.

  “It was written in the stars,” she continued. “There was no stopping it.”

  “Excuse me?” asked the Sarge, bemused.

  “Astrology, Sergeant Maguire. It doesn’t lie to us. Teresa is almost twenty-eight, the time of her Saturn return.”

  “My Saturn what?” I asked.

  “It’s the period in everyone’s life when Saturn returns to the exact spot it was at the time of your birth. It usually comes around twenty-seven years of age. Saturn is the planet of duty and discipline. Saturn return can be a time of great pain and challenges as a person transits from one stage of their life to another.” She reached over and rested her hand on my arm again. Once more, I tried not to flinch at her unwelcome touch. “You really must let me do a reading soon, Teresa. I’m dying to find out what’s in store for you in the future.”

  I mumbled some noncommittal response and hurried the Sarge along the street, not wanting to engage with her any longer.

  “Did you have a Saturn return, or do you think she just made all that up to convince me to give in to a reading with her?” I asked him.

  “I don’t think she made it up. It sounded authentic. I mean, authentic if you believe in astrology.” He thought for a moment. “I was about twenty-eight or so when I met Melissa. I suppose that was kind of life-changing.”

  “Do you think I should let her give me a reading?”

  “Absolutely not.”

  “No, you’re right. It would be a terrible idea. I might even believe what she said to me.” I looked up at him. “I think I’d prefer to stick with your prediction of me having a great future.”

  “Me too.”

  I pulled up sharp. “Oh, shit.”

  Although it appeared that today, at least, the teen Bycrafts had made themselves scarce – perhaps even have gone to school, I thought with a cynical chuckle – lounging out the front of the grocery store were some of the adult Bycrafts. And smack bang in the middle of them was Jake.

  “I don’t want to do this,” I said in a low voice to the Sarge.

  “Tessie, you can do it. Just ignore him. Ignore all of them.”

  “No.”

  “Come on. I want to check with Grimmell that those Bycraft kids haven’t been bothering him again.”

  Jake sat with Rick and Mark, who’d obviously been released on bail while awaiting trial after being charged with king-hitting Baz. All were drinking beer, even at this hour, and Jake and Rick were sharing a cigarette, though he never normally smoked.

  Dorrie Lebutt sat next to Jake. She was draped all over him, her arm around his shoulders and her hand resting indecently high on his thigh, despite the fact that Rick and Mark had been fighting about her only a few days ago. The expression on her face of triumphant malice left me in no doubt that Jake had found some physical comfort from her last night.

  My face burned with humiliation. While I was crying my heart out over him, he’d been off screwing Dorrie, of all people. The heartless bastard. That only made me more determined not to shed another tear over him.

  As we walked past them, the Sarge’s eyes raked over Dorrie with contempt. He said scornfully to Jake, “You gave up Tessie for that? You’re even more stupid than I suspected.”

  “You shut your face, Maguire,” Jake said, half-rising, his fists clenched.

  “Oh, yeah? You want to make me?” the Sarge responded, stepping forward, his fists also clenching.

  “What happened between Tessie and me is none of your business,” Jake seethed.

  “It’s every bit my business,” the Sarge snarled back. “You better listen to me, Bycraft. You won’t have anything to do with her from now on. You stay away from her, and you keep your family away from her.”

  “Fuck off. Don’t tell me what to do.”

  “Say that to me again.”

  “Sarge,” I warned, tugging on his arm.

  I wasn’t prepared to have him get into trouble for picking a fight on my behalf. If Jake wanted to dump me and then immediately screw a skank like Dorrie, who’d just had either his brother’s or his cousin’s brat, then let him. It somehow made it easier for me to see that I was better off without him.

  “Sarge,” I said again. “Let it go.” And this time he listened.

  Jake and he eyeballed each other the whole way until we stepped into the grocery store.

  After checking with Mr Grimmell that the young Bycrafts had left him in peace since we’d spoken to them, we departed. I released the tension in my shoulders when we saw that Jake and the others had gone.

  “Why isn’t he at work anyway?” asked the Sarge, still simmering from their encounter.

  “He told me he was having a few days off because of Denny’s funeral.”

  “When is the funeral?”

  “I don’t know. I would have thought it would be soon, sometime in the next few days. They’ve waited so long for his body to be released that I wouldn’t think they’d want to delay it much longer.”

  “I’m worried about the funeral. I think what you said before was right. It’s almost like a build up to something – that the funeral is going to burst some kind of release valve.” He stopped and looked down at me. “Tessie, you have accepted that you’re not going to it, haven’t you?”

  “Yes. After what’s happened, I wouldn’t want go to it now. I told the Super that I’ll pay my respects to Denny at a later time, when his family’s not there.”

  He sighed in relief. �
��You have no idea how glad I am to hear that.”

  I smiled wryly. “I think I have some idea.”

  We walked around town for a bit longer, stopping now and then to pass the time of day with shopkeepers and other townsfolk.

  “Where do you think Annabel is?” I asked him as we strolled. “Do you think she and baby Jamie are safe? They’re on my mind a lot.”

  “I honestly don’t know, Tessie. We can only hope that Merrick has come to terms with the fact that the baby is born, and that there’s a good chance it’s his.”

  “Helping deliver the baby is an experience I won’t forget in a hurry.”

  “Me neither. I know I said it before, but you really did a great job that night.”

  “Thank you,” I said sincerely, not being all that used to receiving praise for my work.

  He checked his watch. “Okay, I think we’ve walked around enough. Probably time to get back to the station. I can’t quite believe we haven’t been called out for anything today. It all just seems too . . . unnaturally calm. Especially for this place.”

  “It’s like everyone’s waiting for something to happen.”

  “Exactly. It’s hard not to think it will have something to do with the funeral.”

  “I’ll be glad when it’s over then, if it’s going to have everyone in town on tenterhooks.”

  “That reminds me. I want to ring the Super this afternoon to discuss security at the funeral. How many prisoners will be attending?”

  “Four. Ritchie, Red, Karl, and Tommy. As far as I know, they’re not letting any of Denny’s cousins out to come to the funeral, and I’m very glad about that. I wouldn’t want to see Craig back in town. Abe would go ballistic at the sight of him. It would be very ugly.”

  “He’s the one who murdered Abe’s wife?”

  “Yep.”

  “Okay, four of them will be more than enough for us to manage. They better send an adequate number of Correctional Services officers with them. The last thing we need is one of them doing a runner, or something stupid like that.”