Emotionally Charged

by Selina Fenech

  Jake bumped my shoulder with his. “How are you feeling? Got the mojo yet?”

  “Yeah, feeling good. Awesome even.”

  Jake held up his palm flat in front of me. “Give me your best shot.”

  “Really?”

  Jake rolled his eyes. “And don’t be holding back. We don’t take wimps.”

  I raised an eyebrow and lifted my fist to the challenge. I could feel muscles tense and coil. The sensation and awareness, the pure power, made me feel drunk. I smacked my fist into his palm.

  Jake whistled, dramatically shaking off the hurt. “Nice, some real potential there. How about a race?”

  My imagination did its own race into the future, Jake and me running through the deserted warehouses, giggling, speeding after each other, tumbling into a heap, our lips so close and then…

  Something caught my eye over at the fire. My sight had improved as well, the way it had the night after I volunteered. A sheet of corrugated iron peeled itself off the roof, lifting under the hot gusts from the fire like a strange kite. It lingered in the air then fell in a deadly dive bomb straight at one of the fire fighters.

  I didn’t have to question anymore what I’d run into to save someone. I just ran.

  I thought I heard someone cursing behind me as I bolted at the man. I’d never moved so fast. Was I still visible or just a blur? I collided with the fire fighter in a tackle and we rolled six feet in a tumble together. The corrugated iron scraped and tore on the concrete where he had been.

  The fire fighter looked from me to the jagged, red hot iron with his jaw unhinged. His face softened and I held my breath, waiting for the praise I’d missed with last save I made. Instead I found myself wrenched to my feet and dragged away.

  “Idiot! What were you thinking?” Jake hissed as he pulled me along. We moved fast and were back at the car before I knew it. “We can’t be seen here. You can’t be seen doing things like that. People will start asking questions.”

  I stuttered and dropped my head, screwing my face up to stop myself crying. He might as well have slapped me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think.”

  “It’s important we all keep a low profile. You’re not going to be trouble for us? Trying to be a big hero?” Jake’s eyes had turned stony.

  “No, I- I just wanted to help him. I’m sorry. I get we have to do things carefully.”

  Emma, Jamie and Donnie caught up. They were all irritated, or downright angry.

  Jake softened. “It’s okay. It’s easy to get caught up in the powers sometimes. You did a good thing. Just remember, if you’re going to be part of the team, you have to learn to take orders.”

  “Of course. I can do that. I want to be part of the team, more than anything.”

  No one talked on the drive home. I kept busy berating myself internally. I had to be smarter or they wouldn’t accept me. I should have known I wasn’t special enough as is to get an easy A.

  Those thoughts mixed with the thrill I relived of saving the fireman’s life. Even if it was wrong to expose myself or my powers, I felt like I’d done the right thing. Jake was probably just angry that I got there first. Would the fireman have thanked me?

  Of course he would have. Only emotionless gray-eyed types don’t thank people.

  Once those eyes came into my head, I couldn’t wipe them away again for the rest of the night.

  ***

  I woke up the next morning to Emma bouncing on the side of my bed. She giggled at my shock and headed back out the door, calling over her shoulder.

  “Come on, wake up. Get yourself pretty and meet us in the formal lounge. We’ll be waiting.”

  Ominous? Or maybe... I rushed through a shower and put on my best choice of limited clothing. I tried three options for my hair then left it out long, running a straightener over just the front to tidy it up.

  I tried two lounge rooms before I found the formal one where everyone waited. I wasn’t sure I’d been in this one before. A massive gilt-framed mirror dominated one wall, and everyone sat in armchairs around a stool in front of it.

  Emma stood up, squealing. “It’s makeover time!”

  She ushered me onto the stool and I sat awkwardly. “Makeover?”

  Jake leant forward in his armchair and smirked, his wide shoulders on display in a fitted shirt. “We want you on the team, Livvy. So we need you to be the best you can be.”

  Okay, makeover. Fun. Just like on reality shows. I could go a fancy new hair style for sure. The prospect of getting it dyed something other than brown got me smiling. I was getting the princess treatment again, which was nice. I was worried I’d blown it last night with my hero stunt. Jake didn’t seem angry anymore, but eyed me critically, running a hand through his golden hair and rubbing that chiseled chin. I tried to sit tall and not be overwhelmed with self consciousness.

  Emma circled me and played with my hair. “You’re already so pretty, there won’t be too much work to do. Just a few things to really make you pop.”

  I burned with blush. People have told me I was pretty before, but I figured I was average-pretty at best. And even pretty isn’t amazing. It would be nice to be amazing like everyone else in this room.

  “If you have suggestions for my hair, I’m up for anything.” I poked my loose hair to highlight my fashion cluelessness.

  “We’ll do the hair for sure, and much more. Don’t worry, any work you get done is on us.” Emma grinned.

  Jamie spoke up. “She should get her lips and tits filled.”

  I laughed out loud but no one else did.

  My laughter shut off fast. “Oh, I thought you were joking.”

  Jake cut in with a soft tone. “Sorry, Jamie can be a bit crass. Don’t worry, it wouldn’t be extreme. Not as much as Emma’s had done. That wouldn’t suit your frame.”

  Emma folded her arms under her abundant bust to demonstrate.

  “She could also have the bridge of her nose taken down a little, and narrowed at the base.”

  Jake nodded. “You’re right, Donnie. Always with the eye for detail.”

  I wanted to hide. Were they seriously talking about plastic surgery? They were pranking, they must be. Just pushing it to see how long they could keep me going. At least Jake wasn’t being as critical as the others. Famous last words.

  “She needs to get some mouth work done too. The crooked front teeth have to go.”

  I felt something shatter inside me. There was no joke here. My mouth fell open as it settled in. They expected me to get plastic surgery to be part of the team. And dental work. I closed my mouth. Did I really think someone like Jake could be attracted to me as is? Maybe not, but I hoped. I hoped he saw beyond the brown-haired, brown-eyed average-pretty to something special inside.

  “Honey, don’t feel bad! It’s not like it’s just you. We’ve all had work done.” Emma hugged me around the shoulders then pounced back into an empty armchair. “We’re talking about way less for you than I had. But then, I wanted a lot of it myself.”

  All of them? Even the guys? “Why?”

  “To be this fab-u-lous,” Emma drawled, posing like a model in her chair.

  Jake tilted his head and gave me a kind smile. It helped settle my nerves better than hot chocolate. His smile could make anything better and I started wondering if I could get plastic surgery, for him, if it would keep him near me. “We all do it because it helps with our powers. Same with keeping ourselves in good shape. It pays off to be attractive.”

  “I told you. Lust is where the power is at,” Emma said.

  “I don’t understand.”

  Donnie’s voice was dryer than usual. He spoke slowly, like trying to wake a sleep walker, or talking to someone really dumb. “When people are physically attracted to us, we get power from that emotion. It means we can get them to do what we want. Anything we suggest is accepted easily, a bit like hypnotism. The more attracted they are to us, the better it works. So we make ourselves physically desirable. Did you really think we were all born this perfect?�
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  Emma chimed in. “Haven’t you ever had it easy picking up guys and getting them to do whatever you want? Buy you drinks, give you their number, give you their whole damn wallet?”

  Not really. There had never been anyone I was interested enough in to try picking up. I was waiting for my prince, my Jake. If a guy approached me I thought he was put up to it by someone and got shy or defensive. I never thought before they would actually be interested in me, or if they were that I could use that to my advantage. Just how open to suggestion did the lust power make people?

  The air rushed out of me so quickly I felt faint. Would it make someone open to the suggestion of leaving home with a group of strangers in the middle of the night?

  Everything started to spiral and I stared at the floor, trying to take steady breaths. I should have asked more questions. I should have gone home and thought about what I was doing. I should have told my parents. What the hell was I doing here?

  I looked up to ask something, anything to get reassurance the powers hadn’t been used on me. Jake gave me a perfect smile and my concerns fell away like sand under a wave. In the past, that wave buoyed me and left me floating blissfully, but now the water was cold, leaving me numb and confused about why I’d just been panicking. Jake could never do anything wrong like that. I was just freaked because of the thought of a little plastic surgery. I wanted to look amazing, didn’t I? I wanted to be part of the team, to be worthy of Jake’s smiles.

  “So, my lovely Livvy, the question is - what are you willing to do to be part of the team? If you can’t even handle some plastic surgery…”

  I drifted in the cold water. My parents had accepted my absence so easily. I had friends back home, but none of them understood me, or the craving inside me for something more. I’d never realized how lonely I had been until now. Something had to satisfy my yearning, and that something was Jake and his team. It had to be. What else was there?

  “Anything, I’ll do anything.”

  ***

  I moped up and down the shopping mall. My arms were loaded with fancy paper bags from deluxe boutiques. I should have felt like a star, out on a spending spree with a fat wad of someone else’s cash, but all I could think about was buying the right things to make myself look better. I didn’t know what I was doing and wished Emma was here to guide me, but she was off on some important lunch date. She had great fashion sense and wore everything so well. Or was that the plastic surgery? Just how much did she have done to look that fantastic? I wondered how she looked before.

  Jake said he wouldn’t rush me into anything major, it was all just something to think about for now. They wanted me in the team and were happy I was willing to do what I needed to be with them. There were so few people like us that maybe they felt they couldn’t leave me out. But I had to step up and be valuable to the group. Maybe I could do that without going under the knife. My shopping choices better be amazing in that case.

  Whether it was my thoughts or the swag weighing me down, I was exhausted. I needed fuel, and stepped out of the mall onto the street to find a coffee shop.

  That’s when I saw him again. He sat across the street in a park. His eyes were down, reading, but I didn’t need to see them to know their exact shade of gray.

  A snarl built on my face and I marched across the road. He owed me a thank you. I tried to relax my face and smile, think better of him. It had been a rough situation. Maybe he just forgot or was too stressed at the time. But I was about to give him a second chance.

  Few people were in the park, and if they were they rushed through rather than lingered in the neglected property. A wooden play fort dominated the central area. This kind of relic play structure wouldn’t get built these days for being too dangerous to kids, but was the kind kids loved. I saw one boy look longingly its way before being dragged the other way by his dad. The lawn throughout was uneven, spotted with dandelions and longer than it should be. I shuffled through it to the bench where the guy I’d saved sat.

  I stood still in front of him and he didn’t move. Ignoring me, or absorbed in the dog-eared paperback, I didn’t know. The same weird, cold, emptiness I felt when I first saw him crept into my bones. I cleared my throat and he looked up.

  He looked better in the daylight, less pasty and more ivory skinned. I spaced out for a moment wondering how my olive skin would look pressed against it. Where did that come from?

  “Hi?” He sounded confused, but I couldn’t get an emotional read. There was a slight rosiness to his cheeks and under his eyes, almost like he’d been crying. But of course he hadn’t been crying. He was some kind of emotionless robot that couldn’t say thank you.

  “Do you remember, the other night? I was, uh, the alley, and those guys, and, uh, I’m Livvy.” My inability to sense any hint of emotion from this guy threw me. It was just like watching TV. I could see the movement and angles of his face and body but couldn’t sense anything real. Almost as though he wasn’t even really there.

  He nodded slowly and a tiny smile emerged. Or maybe it was a nervous tic. I couldn’t tell either way with this blank slate. Even Donnie showed mountains of emotion in comparison.

  “I remember. I’m Dean.”

  Okay, still no thank you. It might be slow coming. I could give him time.

  “I was just about to get a coffee. Want to join me?” I thumb-pointed over my shoulder at the coffee bar in front of the mall.

  Dean stared at it for a moment, his eyebrows twitching. He closed his book and I saw it was so worn it had no real cover anymore. I wondered what he was reading.

  “Sure.”

  He stood up and I juggled my bags back into carrying order as we crossed the road. I ordered a strong cappuccino and Dean waved off getting anything. We took a booth and my bags piled around me on the bench.

  “So…” I struggled to be subtle. “Are you feeling okay? Since, you know, I saved you from those guys?”

  Dean shrug-nodded but didn’t say anything. I ground my teeth.

  The red around Dean’s eyes made them look less gray, more the color of worn denim. They had a depth I kept falling into. I couldn’t help staring, trying to get some hint of what this guy felt. All I got from him was that chilling, hollow feeling.

  He leaned back in the booth and unzipped his jacket. The baggy shirt underneath was gray and it struck me that he seemed to be wearing the same clothes I saw him in before. Not that they were unique in any way to tell for sure. They were clean, and I could smell plain soap and a smoky musk as he pulled his jacket off. The stitching had come undone around the collar of the t-shirt and the fabric was thin.

  His hair fell down in front of his face, soft and also clean. Maybe it just looked stringy the other night from sweat. His lips were moving.

  “Uh, sorry, what?”

  “I said I was wondering what you wanted to talk to me about. Are you okay? You seem upset. At least, you aren’t smiling like a fool like you were after chasing those guys off.”

  Great. I had no idea what he was feeling and here he was making guesses about me.

  I pulled my lips closed tight. “It’s just my teeth. They’re all crooked. I didn’t realize before but now I kind of hate them.”

  “You were prettier when you smiled.”

  He said it so plainly, like it was nothing. Not praise, not flattery or a shot at getting something from me. He said it just like a fact, like the sky is blue.

  I shook my head, looked into my foamy coffee and added another sugar. Nothing Dean said had any emotion.

  “Your teeth give you character. It’s cute, the way one crosses over the other a bit at the front-”

  I put my hand over my mouth.

  “Sorry, I’m saying dumb things. You shouldn’t feel bad about them. But you’re going to get them fixed anyway, aren’t you? I guess you’ve got the money to do it.” Dean eyed the bags that surrounded me.

  “Oh, the shopping. I kind of came away for a while without packing and needed some things. The money isn’t
really mine. It’s sort of complicated.”

  “What about that necklace, is it really yours? You were wearing it the other night too. Silver, or…?”

  “White gold.” I wrapped my hand around the heart shaped pendant I had been wearing since the earthquake, covering it from sight. “I spent all my allowance on it. And I didn’t bring any other accessories with me. Well, I got some new stuff today.”

  Dean rolled his eyes. I didn’t have to sense emotions to know the ‘poor you’ look.

  Did he think I was spoilt? Is that what he was getting at? He was all questions and no answers. I wanted desperately to know why his eyes were red, whether he had been crying or not. I wanted to know how he felt about being attacked and how he felt about me saving him, and I couldn’t read a thing.

  Embarrassment unfurled in me without warning, coloring my face. I gulped my coffee to hide it.

  A beeping noise distracted me and it took a moment to recognize the message tone of my new phone. I apologized and pulled it out of my pocket.

  A message from Jake. I smiled at his name, then pulled my lips back over my teeth again.

  Coming to pick U up. Meet west mall exit. C U in 15. Team Stuff.

  I typed quickly. C U soon.

  I slipped the phone away and told Dean I had to be somewhere.

  He helped me load my bags up again and thanked me for the coffee, even though he didn’t have anything.

  I wasn’t sure if I’d see Dean again. I could ask for his number. Could I use my power to make him ask for mine? He didn’t seem attracted to me. I should have just said goodbye, but instead I blurted more crazy words.

  “You really think my teeth are okay?”

  Dean half-smiled and walked away.

  ***

  Donnie’s jeep stopped in front of me where I waited on the curb, balancing my purchases. I threw them all in the back and climbed in next to Emma who shuffled into the middle seat. It was a full house, with Donnie driving, Jamie shotgun, Jake and I in the back with Emma as an unfortunate barrier between us.