Defector

by Susanne Winnacker

  Zach relaxed as if he’d been dreading my reaction. “That’s part of my Variation. I never forget. I can store memories and replay them for others.”

  “A few days ago, a memory entered my mind while I was driving. Did you do that?”

  He lowered his head. “Yeah. I know it wasn’t okay of me to do it without your permission, but I wanted to show you what you were missing. I’d hoped the memories would convince you to join us. I wanted you to come to us acting on your own free will. Obviously that didn’t really work out how I’d planned. You are a tough opponent.” He chuckled, but I was lost in thought.

  “You didn’t need to touch me then, why did you do it now?”

  “I usually need to touch people to use my Variation. The only person with whom it’s never necessary is our dad, so I thought that might work with you too, and it did. Maybe it’s because we share the same DNA, I don’t know.” He paused, scanning my face, which probably still showed my confusion.

  “So they were real memories? Not fake?” Fear bubbled up in my stomach.

  “Of course,” Zach said immediately. “I wanted to show you what I remember every day.”

  Alec’s words about a Variant who could manipulate memories came into my mind. Maybe the rumors had exaggerated the truth, like they often do. “Can you alter memories too?” I asked reluctantly.

  We pulled into a private airport, and Luthor parked the car near the landing strip. Zach still hadn’t replied. He gave Jago and Luthor a nod, and both of them exited the car, giving us a moment of privacy. Zach rubbed a hand over his face. “If I focus very hard, then I can alter memories. It’s very difficult to do, though, and I feel drained for hours afterward.”

  I tensed. “But that’s horrible. You can’t just change people’s memories!” Alec had manipulated and monitored me with his Variation. I didn’t want the same thing to happen again.

  “Some people ask me to change their memories. Many Variants have experienced horrible things in their life and think they need to forget in order to have a fresh start, and sometimes that’s really the case. If the past keeps weighing you down, it might be best to drop it.”

  “So you’re telling me you never altered someone’s memories without their permission?”

  Zach glanced out of the window. Luthor and Jago were waiting for us, their backs turned to the car. “On a few occasions, I had no choice. It was to protect myself and those I care about. I didn’t like it, and it’s always my last resort. What would you do if it was your only chance at keeping the people you care about safe?”

  I shrugged. “I guess I would do it. I don’t know. I’ve never been in that situation.”

  “Sometimes I hate this life of secrecy, but as long as the FEA is hunting us . . .” He trailed off and nodded toward the door. “We should go now. Dad is waiting for us.”

  My pulse sped up at the mention of Abel, at that word: Dad. I wasn’t yet sure what to call him. It was so much to process at once.

  As soon as we stepped out of the car, it disappeared. “Did you do it?” I asked Luthor. He nodded. I narrowed my eyes. “It was you! You were the guy with the syringe who attacked me.” I thought back to our night of camping and the flickering vehicle.

  Luthor rubbed the back of his head and glanced at Zach, who rolled his eyes. “Sorry about that. When we found out that you were on the run from the FEA, we tried to track you, but it wasn’t easy. Dad sent out almost our entire organization to search for you. We knew you’d visited Devon’s aunt and uncle, and we sent out scouts to track you in the area. Eventually someone in a diner said they’d seen you. Luthor followed up on the hint, because I wasn’t close by. Since I wasn’t there to talk to you, Dad permitted Luthor to use a sedative. That obviously didn’t work out too well.”

  Luthor smiled sheepishly. “You’re a good fighter, girl.”

  “You gave me a concussion,” Jago said reproachfully. Did he want an apology?

  “You scared the shit out of me. That’s not really the most effective way to convince me to join you.” But I wasn’t even angry anymore. I couldn’t believe that Abel had cared enough to send all of his men out to search for me. With the FEA out searching in tandem, that had been a big risk. “Your Variation is cool,” I said to Luthor. Jago rolled his eyes and turned toward the helicopter.

  Luthor grinned. “Yours isn’t too shabby either.”

  Zach smiled, but it was tense as his eyes searched the sky. “We use Luthor’s Variation to disguise our helicopter, too.”

  “But didn’t it appear on the radar of the airport?”

  “Nope. Luthor’s Variation prevents that. And we have connections to the people who track that sort of thing,” he said evasively, then gave me a quick smile. “Come on. We should hurry. Soon the area will be crowded with FEA helicopters.” He took my hand, and I followed him toward a helicopter that looked like it might be used by the military. Instead of skids, it had three tires and was painted in a brownish-green color.

  Zach and I sat together in the back, while Luthor and Jago took their places in the cockpit. They exchanged grins as we lifted off the ground. As we rose into the sky, I could see the FEA helicopters in the distance. They were looking for me, but with Luthor’s talent, they’d never find us.

  I couldn’t help but wonder who was in the helicopters. Had Major come to make sure I didn’t slip through their fingers again? I’d always been grateful to him for saving me from a neglectful home. But having seen my mother today, I wasn’t sure whether the FEA hadn’t been part of the problem from the start. Her years as an agent might have turned her into the wreck she was now, and the FEA had silently hunted me, probably from the day I was born. Even if my mother hadn’t wanted to give me away, the FEA would have forced her to eventually. What would it have been like if my mother hadn’t wanted to live a normal life? If she’d stayed with Abel? Zach seemed so normal and kind, not like the crazy Volatile Major made him out to be. What if Zach was telling the truth, what if Abel had been searching for me all those years, if he’d honestly missed me? If he loved me? Had the FEA kept me from a loving family?

  My mother said she left Abel because she wanted a normal life and he couldn’t bear it. She hadn’t run from him because he had been cruel to her.

  Zach touched my arm, and I jumped. His turquoise eyes were curious. He looked so much like me, I couldn’t believe it. My brother.

  “So Holly is really okay?” I whispered.

  Zach nodded. “She’s more than okay. She’s happy with us.”

  “She doesn’t want to return to the FEA?”

  He stared out of the window for a moment. “No one does once they meet our dad. He’s charismatic. People realize that Abel’s Army is the better choice.”

  “What about her family? I went to their home. Well, you probably know that since you followed me in the car.”

  “Holly was worried that the FEA would target them to get to her. She was worried that one of her siblings would turn out to be a Variant and that the FEA would find out. She wanted them safe, so we relocated them. They’re perfectly safe.”

  “What did you tell them? Why would they leave their home and everything behind? Why did it look like there had been a struggle?”

  “We discussed it with Holly, and she knew they’d never be safe as long as they were in contact with her. We moved them out very quickly. We gave them new identities and a new house and new jobs, far away from the FEA’s reach. Trust me, they’re happier than before.”

  “You changed their memories, didn’t you?”

  He hesitated a heartbeat. “It was for the best, really. They’ll never find out. They can lead a normal, happy life without worrying about their daughter. Plus, their new circumstances are much more comfortable than before.”

  I sucked in a breath. “You removed Holly from their memories.”

  “She wanted us to,” he said quietly.
“If there’s ever a time of peace, she can return to her parents. We’ll give them their memories back, and everything will be fine.”

  I doubted that everything would be fine that easily, almost as much as I doubted that there would ever be peace between the FEA and Abel’s Army—not as long as Major was there, and even then . . . “I can’t believe Holly gave up her family like that.”

  “Sometimes we have to let go of the people we love to keep them safe,” Zach said.

  I wanted to believe him, but I wasn’t so sure.

  The FEA helicopters became small black dots in the distance as we left Las Vegas behind. This was it. I was pretty sure there was no going back. I had really and truly crossed the line, and Major would never forgive me for this. Even if I decided to escape with Holly and not stay with Abel, Major would treat my actions as treason. And maybe they were. Because saving Holly was only one reason for my willingness to go with Zach. More than anything, I wanted to meet my dad.

  “You’re angry with me.” He touched my hands, which were balled into fists in my lap. I uncurled them and rested my fingers loosely on my thighs. “I’m not angry. It’s just a lot to take in.” I shook my head. “Why did you kidnap Holly? Was it an accident?”

  Zach snorted. “That’s what happens when Dad or I don’t take matters into our own hands.” I cocked an eyebrow in silent question. “I wanted to be part of that mission. I knew I could make you see that the FEA was the wrong choice, but Dad didn’t want to risk it. He knew Major would be close by, and he feared that I would get captured. Everything would be lost if Major ever got his hands on me.

  “The mission didn’t go as planned. Will sent a too-powerful shockwave and knocked out two of our own men. Then everything got out of control. They were just trying to save their own skin, and then Jago spotted a girl in black. He said he had seen her appearance flicker; she looked like FEA, and since he had only one chance, he grabbed her,” Zach continued. “Of course, we figured out pretty quickly that it wasn’t you, but we were glad that we had Holly. She’s a great addition to our group. And we knew we could kill two birds with one stone. Holly is your best friend. We were sure you would be part of a rescue mission. We actually never considered you running away from the FEA on your own.”

  I wasn’t on my own, I thought. I was with Devon. My heart ached when I thought of him. I’d have to go back for him someday. I couldn’t leave him in the hands of Major.

  “What about Stevens?”

  Zach frowned. “You mean Harold?”

  I bit my lip. I didn’t even know his first name. “The agent that you kidnapped in Livingston.”

  “We didn’t kidnap him.” Zach chuckled, giving me a wide grin. “He came all on his own. He wasn’t happy at the FEA. He didn’t like how he was treated and that he was forbidden from keeping his relationship with a normal woman.” He sighed.

  I nodded. It was strange to think about saving someone from the FEA. The FEA had always been the epitome of good for me. But I hadn’t known any better.

  I closed my eyes and let my head fall back against the seat. The vibrations of the helicopter went right through me, and the whir of the blades called forth a headache. This was all too much for my brain to compute. Thinking about the FEA hurt. Every time a memory of the happy times I’d spent there entered my mind, I felt like my heart was ripped out. And Alec. He’d been my friend, my protector, my love, and now? What would he become? My hunter? My enemy?

  “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” Zach murmured. “I thought my memories were all I’d ever get.” I turned to face him and tried to memorize every inch of his face, just like he seemed to do with mine. His nose was a tad wider than mine, and the shadow of stubble showed on his chin and cheeks, but our similarities were striking.

  “Do you miss our mom?”

  Hurt flickered in his eyes. “Sometimes. But I can’t forget that she left. She took you, but she completely gave me up.”

  And I realized then that we’d experienced the same heartbreak. Our mother had failed us both. “She wasn’t much of a mother to me either,” I whispered.

  Questions clouded his eyes.

  “She tried to be normal, but she couldn’t get her act together. She was drunk or stoned more days than she was not. And she had more boyfriends than I care to count. Every new guy was worse than the one before him.” I felt bad for talking about my mother like that after seeing her this last time. But it was the truth. She’d never been a caring mother. Her neglect would have broken me if I hadn’t gone to the FEA.

  Zach’s face tightened. “Did they ever hurt you?”

  “Apart from the occasional insult, they pretty much ignored me. The loneliness and disgust from our mother were much worse.”

  “Disgust?” Zach asked. I realized he’d taken my hand in his. He cared about me. Heat pressed against my eyes.

  “Because I was a Variant. When she found out I wasn’t normal, she called me a freak and told me I’d ruined her life.”

  “That’s bullshit!” Zach’s face flashed with anger. “She’s a Variant too. Dad said she always hated herself for it. And that’s why she didn’t want me or him.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  Zach shook his head. “It’s okay. Now we have each other.”

  “I can’t wait to see our father,” I said. Zach looked out of the window, his lips tight.

  “Is something wrong?”

  He shook his head with what was probably meant to be a reassuring smile. “No. The last few weeks have been exhausting. You didn’t exactly make it easy for us. And Dad was getting more desperate every day. I was worried he’d do something stupid.”

  Zach must have seen the confusion on my face. “The hatred between Major and our dad is like a festering ulcer. It can blind you to what’s right and wrong.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Zach looked like he regretted ever bringing it up in the first place. “Our uncle, our dad’s twin, has been locked up in the FEA’s high-security prison for twelve years. There hasn’t been a day that our dad hasn’t thought of him. They were really close, and now he hasn’t seen him for more than a decade. In all these years, Dad’s hatred toward the man who imprisoned his brother has only grown.” And I suspected my mother’s involvement with my father and Major only fueled the hatred.

  I had an uncle in the FEA’s prison. I remembered what my mother had said about him.

  “He must have done something to be thrown in jail, though, right?”

  Zach’s expression twisted. “Many people who are locked up in the FEA prison haven’t done anything more than refuse to work for the FEA. They think having a Variation makes you the property of the FEA and thus the FBI.”

  Major had ordered Alec to make sure I was under control at all times, so Zach’s words made sense. Every Variant was a possible weapon, and if a weapon didn’t fire for your side, you’d better lock it up. But I also realized that Zach hadn’t exactly answered my question. “But what about our uncle?”

  “Look, I don’t exactly agree with everything he’s done,” Zach said slowly. “But our father loves him, and I can see how much it pains him to know his twin is locked up without ever getting a fair trial. Sometimes love for someone can make you blind.”

  No one knew that better than me. Even now the memory of Alec’s gray eyes, of his laughter, still made my heart clench. But my love hadn’t blinded me so much I’d hurt others. What did our father’s love for his brother make him do? I opened my mouth to ask, but Zach sat up suddenly. “We’re here.”

  I leaned over him and stared down, but there was only barren land and mountains of glowing red rock surrounding us. We headed right for one of the rocks. “I don’t see anything. Is it disguised?”

  “Yeah. The entire complex is underground. The base of the mountain is actually the entrance.”

  My eyes widened. It
would be difficult to escape from an underground headquarters. The helicopter was steering straight toward the sharp rocks. I clawed at the seat as the red of the mountains filled the entire width of the windshield. Any moment we’d collide with the rock.

  CHAPTER 30

  Our blades hit the rock wall, but they didn’t make impact. They passed right through the surface, and so did the rest of the helicopter, as if the mountain was made of smoke. After a moment of darkness, we entered a huge hangar, and I realized we were inside the mountain.

  “What happened?” I asked, dumbfounded. I twisted around to look back to where we’d just come from. There was the same red, solid rock, but now we saw it from the inside.

  Luthor landed the helicopter in the middle of a platform emblazoned with a red cross. Trucks, tanks, helicopters, and cars filled almost every free space of the cave. The rough red of the bare rock walls glowed like fire under halogen lamps, which were affixed to the ceiling.

  Zach pointed at a guy sitting in a glass booth perched at the base of one wall, his feet resting on a desk. He waved at us, made a bubble with his chewing gum, sucked it back in, and kept on chewing. “He watches what’s going on outside from screens inside the booth. And if it’s one of us, he dissolves the solidity of the rock, and we can pass through it like smoke. Not bad, huh?”

  I blinked. That was the understatement of the year. This was amazing. He opened the helicopter and jumped out, then held the door open for me. I followed after him and let my eyes wander over the equipment. There were three helicopters, bazookas, missiles, machine guns, and countless crates with tags like “ammunition” or “explosives.” It looked like they were planning for war. “You’ve got a lot of . . . stuff.”

  Zach shrugged. “We need to be prepared. Keeping headquarters safe is a big responsibility that we take very seriously. Too many lives depend on it.”

  Then he took my hand and led me toward an elevator embedded in the rock wall. Luthor and Jago didn’t follow us. They stayed back to take care of the helicopter, but I didn’t miss the curious glances they threw our way. If this place was anything like the FEA, people would probably talk about nothing but our family reunion for days. We stepped into the large metal-and-glass elevator. Twenty people could have fit inside, but when the doors closed, the room still seemed much too small. I leaned against the cold metal, trying to stop the palpitation in my chest. Ten buttons lined the side of the elevator.