Him Standing

by Richard Wagamese

  “Amy One Sky. And this is Lucas Smoke. He’s my boyfriend, like I told you at the market.”

  “He did not follow you here,” she said.

  “Who?” I asked.

  “Him Standing,” she said. “Or his agent.” Amy held the water glass to Sally Whitebird’s mouth, and she took a small sip. Then she lay back against the pillows and closed her eyes. Amy looked at me with a worried expression. I whirled one finger around my ear, and she frowned at me.

  “You were really scared at the market,” Amy said. “You thought Lucas was someone else.”

  Sally groaned and put her forearm over her eyes. She breathed deeply and steadily for a few moments.

  “He was there. I saw him in your face.” She turned to me and looked at me with clear, dark eyes. “His shadow was all around you.”

  “But he’s not here right now?” I asked.

  “No. You’ve been to a place of light.”

  “What does that mean?” Amy asked.

  “The dark shamans do not like light. It robs them of their energy.”

  “We were at Amy’s,” I said.

  “A place of light?” she asked and blinked.

  “Yeah,” I said. “It always has been for me. I like it there. Different from where I live.”

  “He cannot venture there. It is a strong place. Like here. Dark medicine cannot enter here. There is too much shining, good energy.”

  “That’s why you’re not afraid of me now?” I asked.

  “Yes,” she replied. “I was scared at the door. But not now. Now I see that things have come to their proper place.”

  “We don’t understand any of this,” Amy said. “Our lives have actually been really strange this last little while.”

  “He is trying to return,” Sally said. “He has been gone for generations, and I once thought that no one knew of him anymore, that he existed only as a legend.”

  “Bring a legend to life,” I said.

  “What?” Sally asked. She struggled to sit upright, and Amy reached out to help her. She was so small, her feet barely reached the floor.

  I told her about Gareth Knight. I told her about his challenge on the boardwalk and about the big lump of money he gave me. She listened intently. So I told her about my grandfather, and how he’d passed his carving skills on to me. I told her about the trick with the knife that I could do. Then I told her about Knight’s directions for me to dream and carve a spirit mask to bring a legend back to life.

  “Only I never saw a legend. I only ever saw the face. A painted face.”

  “Black. With three wavy red lines down one side. The right side,” Sally whispered.

  “Yes. Does that mean something?”

  “It is not the heart side,” Sally said. “It means he does not feel like we do. His emotions are blocked. He is a weaver of dark magic.”

  “And Gareth Knight?” Amy asked. “How does he fit into this?”

  “A man dressed in black is the agent of the dark shaman. He is a summoner, a follower of Him Standing’s medicine way. He is a shaman himself but without the great power of Him Standing. He wants the spirit of the dark shaman to inhabit the mask so he can wear it and assume that power.”

  “How did he find his way to me?” I asked.

  Sally crossed the room and picked up a rattle made from a turtle shell. She shook it in a wide circle. It sounded old and powerful.

  “Your grandfather knew these things. He put legends into spirit masks. When he taught you, that energy was transferred to you.”

  “But he never told me anything about any of this. He only taught me to carve,” I said.

  “That is the weakness they take advantage of,” Sally said and shook the rattle again. “Those who know the how of things but not the why. They know how to do things but not the spiritual reason they do them.”

  “What do we do then?” I asked.

  She looked at me with iron eyes.

  “We fight,” she said.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  The way Sally told the story, it seemed like a movie she’d seen. Him Standing was a member of a dark-medicine society. They were wizards. Sorcerers. They were at war with the shamans of light. The good-medicine people. The dark shamans wanted to control people, make them do their bidding. To make themselves more powerful. The shamans of light worked with the people to make them stronger. To guide them in spiritual ways that would keep them safe and strong. They were a threat to the wizards. As long as they were around to make people stronger, the dark medicine had less power. So the dark shamans created powerful magic that robbed people of their power. They were scary. They were heartless. They were the reason behind wars. Their power was in the fear they created.

  Him Standing was the most powerful of the dark shamans. He had been raised with good-medicine people. But a dark master offered him riches and power. He was only a boy and was easily swayed. He became the dark master’s student, and he learned quickly. By the time he was a young man, Him Standing was feared far and wide. Sally said it was because he understood both kinds of medicine and combined them to build his power. All he had to do was stand at the edge of a village, and the people fell under his control. A lot of good-medicine people died fighting him.

  But a wise shaman named Otter Tail found a way to beat him. One winter he challenged Him Standing to a race. They would race across a frozen lake. The first to make it across and back would win the right to work with the people of the village, who stood on the shore to watch. Him Standing laughed. The good shaman was small. There was no way he could match the wizard’s strength and speed.

  At first, Him Standing was far ahead. Otter Tail only walked. When he got to the far side, the dark shaman roared with laughter. It echoed off the hills. The people were scared. He began to run in big thumping bounds back across the lake. He followed his own tracks through the snow.

  But he was heavy. The first crossing had weakened the ice. The second time he crossed the lake, the ice broke. Him Standing fell into the freezing water. His anger was huge. His strength was enormous. He swung at the edge of the ice to try to get a grip. But his anger only broke more of it off.

  He tried to use his magic to call fish to swim under him and lift him up. But the cold weakened him. No fish came to his rescue. He was drowning.

  Otter Tail stood yards away from the hole in the ice.

  “You must help me!” Him Standing said.

  “Why?” Otter Tail asked.

  “Because you are good,” Him Standing gasped.

  “You were good once.”

  “I know. I am sorry. I will change.”

  “How do I know this is true?” Otter Tail asked.

  “I give my word,” Him Standing said. “Please.”

  “Let us make a trade then,” Otter Tail said.

  “Yes. Anything.”

  “I will trade you worlds. I will spare you, but you must reside forever in the dream world.”

  “If I do not agree?” Him Standing asked. His teeth were chattering. His grip on the ice was loosening.

  “Then die and have no world,” Otter Tail said.

  Him Standing bobbed under. He flailed in the water. He got a grip on the edge of the ice again. His head was barely above the surface.

  “Yes. All right. I will take your deal.”

  With that, Otter Tail took a turtle-shell rattle from his robes. He shook it in a wide circle around Him Standing. He spoke in words they didn’t understand. The people on the shore watched in amazement as the wizard was lifted from the water. He spun rapidly in the air. Then he vanished.

  Sally paused and looked at me steadily. “He went to the dream world. He has lived there ever since. His followers have tried to bring him back many times. But they needed a source of pure magic.” />
  “Me?” I asked.

  “Yes,” Sally said. “Your grandfather shared his gift with you. But you had it in you already. That is why you create so easily. That is why you do what you do without study. It is pure magic.”

  “Gareth Knight saw that on the boardwalk that day,” Amy said.

  “Yes. He recognized it. Lucas is Ojibway. So was Him Standing. It must have seemed too good to be true for him,” Sally said.

  “Knight is a dark shaman?” I asked.

  “Yes. But not one with true power. Not yet. He needs the mask.”

  “What about the mask?” Amy asked. “Why did Lucas carve his own face and not Him Standing’s?”

  “Him Standing lives in the dream world. Otter Tail did not tell him that the dream world and our world exist in the same time and place but do not meet. There is no doorway,” Sally said.

  “But that’s what he said. The doorway is open,” Amy said. “I heard Lucas say that.”

  “Lucas has changed, hasn’t he?” Sally asked.

  “Yes,” Amy said. “It scares me.”

  “He goes to the dream world. There he is under the power of Him Standing. The dark shaman becomes real through Lucas. The more he dreams, the more he carves. More dark magic goes into the mask.”

  “I am the doorway,” I said. “When it’s finished, it will hold the spirit of Him Standing.”

  “And all of his power,” Amy whispered.

  “Yes,” Sally said. “He is coming through you and into the mask.”

  “A spirit mask,” I said quietly.

  “There are good and bad spirits,” Sally said. “Your grandfather did not teach you this. It is the weakness they looked for.”

  “This is really freaking me out,” I said. “How are we supposed to fight something like this?”

  Sally reached over and took my hand. “Finish the mask,” she said.

  “What if I can’t?”

  “What do you think might prevent you from finishing?”

  “Fear,” I said quietly.

  “Fear is a magic of its own, Lucas.”

  “What do you mean?”

  She smiled. “Fear is a power that we all have. Except we are never taught to accept it as a power. We get taught that it is a weakness. We are ashamed of it. We think it makes us less. But in fact it makes us more.

  “It’s only when we walk fully into it that fear shows its powerful side. The darkness isn’t the absence of light. It’s the threshold of light. When you are courageous enough to stand in your fear, you are learning how to step forward into the light.”

  I looked at the floor and considered what she’d said. “Are you telling me that if I finish the mask, even though it terrifies me to think about it, everything will be okay?

  “No,” she said. “I’m telling you that you will be okay. That’s what is certain.”

  “I still don’t understand.”

  She took my hands in hers. “Walking through your fear makes you stronger. It makes you able to walk through other fears. It gives you courage. It gives you faith that there are bigger powers in the world than fear. When you walk through fear, you, Lucas, become a bigger power than the fear. It is its own medicine in the end.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “The only way to conquer fear is by facing it.”

  I looked at her. She was calm. She was still and placid, and her hands were warm. She gave me a little smile, and I felt it in my chest. I trusted her. “I’ll finish the mask,” I said.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  I spent that night at Amy’s for the first time. It felt good. We cooked supper. Then we sat on her balcony and watched the sun go down. After that we sat in candlelight and listened to music. Then we went to bed. We snuggled. We held each other. We fell asleep in each other’s arms. For the first time since all of this started I didn’t dream.

  Amy had a photo shoot in the morning, so we got up early and went our separate ways. I took a long, leisurely ride through the city. The story Sally had told us made me jittery. But the ride through the city calmed me.

  When I got to the rooming house, Gareth Knight was waiting in my room. I knew he would be there, but I faked surprise.

  He was dressed like a punk. He had on black sneakers. He wore tight black jeans and a torn-up old black T-shirt. There was a black kerchief at his throat. He wore black eye makeup and black lipstick. His hair was spiked with gel. His arms were covered in tattoos made with black ink. They were of symbols I’d never seen before. He was sitting at my work table, drumming his fingers.

  “Where have you been?” he asked, tilting his head and arching one eyebrow.

  “Had to get out,” I said. “Been working hard.”

  “Yes. But I need results, Lucas. Vacation on your own time. Now, where were you?”

  “I told you I just needed to get away, that’s all. I didn’t go anywhere special.”

  “Ah. Ms. One Sky’s, I take it. Where does the dear girl live, anyway?”

  Sally had told me that he would want to know. “She has a place by the river,” I said.

  “It’s a long river, Lucas.”

  “Well, she’s becoming a famous model. She doesn’t want just anyone knowing where she lives.”

  Knight smiled and rubbed at the tattoo on his forearm. “Don’t get cute with me, Lucas.”

  Sally had told me that dark shamans existed on pride. They would never ask a question twice. It would mean they were weak. It would mean they didn’t have power over someone. So I took a risk in order to protect Amy. “Hey, I’m not being cute. I’m just saying that you don’t need to know where my girl lives. That’s all.”

  “Ah, rebellion. I so love that energy. It feels so good to control.” Knight stood up and stared at me. He raised a hand. I felt invisible fingers at my throat. Then I was lifted off the floor. I hung suspended three feet in the air. Choking.

  Sally had told me too that anger was a dark shaman’s weakness. If I could get him to express it, to reveal himself, he would have less of a hold. The grip he had was strong. I was scared. But knowledge is a weapon, and I held on to Sally’s teaching. I waved a hand weakly in surrender. I was lowered to the floor.

  I gasped and bent over to catch my breath. I could feel Knight waiting. I fought to get my breathing back. But I was happy to see him lose control. The other thing Sally had said was that it was important to get him to declare himself. If a wizard admitted who he was, he lost even more power.

  “Neat trick,” I said hoarsely. “Where’d you learn that, at some cheap magic school?”

  “Cheap magic?” Knight asked. He sat back down on the chair and folded one leg over the other. “What I possess is not some party magician’s bag of tricks. I’m not a buffoon, Lucas.”

  “What are you then?” I asked. “I know you’re not just some moneyed-up art lover.”

  He smiled and scratched at his chin. He studied me intently. He nodded his head slowly.

  “I’m a member of a very special club,” he said. “Elite, really. There aren’t a lot of us around.”

  “Big deal,” I said. My voice was coming back. “I could say the same about me. There aren’t a lot of guys like me around either. That’s why you want me. I’m—what did you say? Elite?”

  He laughed. “You’re common. A dime a dozen. I could find someone like you on any street corner or any boardwalk. In fact, I did.”

  “Yeah? So where do elite dudes like you hang out?”

  “Hang out? We don’t hang out, Lucas. We exist.”

  “So where do you exist then?”

  Knight stood up. I could tell he was irritated. He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head and then spread his arms wide. He shook his hands. The room started to shake. My dishes rattled on the shelf. A few bo
oks tumbled. The air got hot, and it was hard to breathe. He rose slowly off the floor and spun lazily in a circle. Then he floated to the floor again. The room returned to normal.

  He took a quick step toward me, and I shrank back against the wall. He smiled. He leaned in close to me. I could feel his hot breath on my face. His eyes locked with mine. They were dark and glittering.

  “We exist on your fear, boy. We exist in your dark corners.”

  I grinned. I could see the rage in his eyes.

  “Kinda vague for the elite. Don’t you think?” I said.

  Knight fumed.

  “I am a shaman, if you must know. I am a grand wizard.”

  “So grand you gotta get a common person like me to do your work for you? Carve your own mask then, Merlin.”

  I felt the invisible grip on my throat again. I was lifted off the floor again. He shook me, and I thought he was really going to lose it. I could see how far gone with anger he was. He fought to regain his calm, and I slid back to the floor.

  “Finish the mask,” he said firmly. “Or feel the force of my magic.”

  Then he turned and was gone.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  "So you were able to get him to rise to anger?” Sally asked.

  “More than that,” I said. “The guy lost it.”

  “That’s good. He needs the mask more than I thought. He needs it to give him a way to grab more power.”

  “He didn’t seem to be short of any juice,” I said, rubbing my throat.

  “There is far more power to be gained than what he already has,” Sally said.

  “I can hardly wait,” I said with a wince.

  “What do we do now?” Amy asked.

  We were sitting in Sally’s backyard. She’d made a strong black tea that she said would give me the mental strength I needed to handle what was coming. That didn’t sound so great to me, but I drank it anyway. It tasted awful. But something about the old lady told me I could trust her with everything. I did. Amy did too. We both drank our fair share of that rough tea.

  “The good thing is that Knight has not been this way before. He has never found anyone with the gift your grandfather gave to you, Lucas. It means that even he does not know exactly what to expect. That’s what our advantage is,” Sally said. “We need to convince him that the spell and the hold of the dreams are working.”