A SEAL's Honor

by JM Stewart

  With a resigned sigh, Marcus turned to head to where he’d parked his car at the edge of the grass. He needed to pick up Cam from Gram’s, and then he’d go see Mandy. He hadn’t a fucking clue how it would work, but he couldn’t let her go now. If he had to earn her trust all over again, prove to her he had no intention of going anywhere…whatever. He’d do it. He’d scale a mountain for her. The question was, would she forgive him for being a blind fool?

  He’d made it only a couple steps when a face among the crowd stopped him cold. Mandy. She stood not ten feet beyond him, wearing a black skirt suit. Had she been there the whole time? He blinked. Maybe she was a mirage.

  She shrugged, one corner of her mouth hitching, but her wide-eyed gaze darted over his face. “I got here late. I didn’t want to interrupt.”

  The relief that flooded him made him want to beat his damn chest. Or fall to his knees at her feet. He wanted to run over there and swoop her up, but he forced himself to remain calm as he moved toward her. “You came.”

  Something soft and vulnerable flitted across her features, there and gone too fast for him to be sure he’d seen it. She dropped her gaze to the grass, shifted from one foot to the other. After a moment, she looked up again. “I promised you I would.”

  Marcus halted halfway to her, stunned by the simplicity of her admission. Despite how they’d left things on Sunday, she’d come anyway. She’d set her own needs aside. For him.

  She humbled him.

  He resumed his trek, forcing himself to move slowly. He wanted to capture her face in his hands and kiss her breathless. None of which he could do. At least not yet. “I wouldn’t have held it against you if you didn’t, you know.”

  As he came to a stop in front of her, she tipped her head back to peer up at him. He didn’t miss the rapid rise and fall of her chest, but Mandy squared her shoulders and held his gaze all the same. “I know, but I don’t go back on my promises just because the timing’s not perfect.”

  Her scent blew in on a breeze, that soft vanilla wafting past his nose, and only sheer force of will kept him from reaching out to her. “That’s it? You came because you made a promise?”

  She shrugged again, half-hearted and dismissive. “This isn’t about me. I knew this would be difficult for you, and I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t.”

  “You’re an amazing woman, you know that? It means a lot to me that you’re here.”

  He stopped just shy of telling her she was right, that he needed her, and stuffed his right hand in his pocket, fingering his keys.

  “Are you busy for the next hour or so?” When her shoulders tensed, he picked up her hand and stroked his thumb across her soft knuckles. “I have a lot of things I want to tell you, but this isn’t the right place. Have coffee with me. It won’t take long.”

  Hell. He’d never bared his heart before, and talking might very well get him nowhere. She could still decide he wasn’t worth the risk. If he didn’t at least say the words, though, he’d regret it, and he already had a lot of regrets. Damned if he’d let her be one of them.

  She sighed, her fingers relaxing in his. “All right. I have about an hour before my next client meeting. I drove here, so I’ll have to meet you.”

  He jerked his gaze to hers, heart hammering in his ears. “Thank you. There’s a Starbucks not far from here. That okay?”

  She nodded. “I recall passing it on the way here. That’s fine.”

  “Thank you. For what it’s worth, it means a lot to me that you came.” He kissed her cheek and squeezed her fingers, then forced himself to release her. “I’ll meet you there.”

  * * *

  Ten minutes later, they sat at a small table in a corner of the Starbucks. Marcus leaned back in his seat, taking in every gorgeous nuance of Mandy, seated across the table from him. The coffee shop around them was in full swing, no less than a dozen people in various states of acquiring and consuming coffee. He was attempting to gather his thoughts, to plan what he wanted to tell her, but the right words eluded him. His mind had gotten stuck on how important this was.

  Oh, they’d made idle chitchat as they stood in line, ordering their drinks. Black for her and a vanilla latte for him. She’d teased him about his girly coffee. He’d forced a laugh. The entire conversation had been awkward and painful. Once relatively alone with her at their semi-secluded table, his mouth had gone dry.

  Coffee trapped between both hands, Mandy turned her gaze out the window as she took another sip. “Do you plan to tell me what you brought me here for or am I going to have to play the guessing game?”

  He reached up to the rub the back of his neck. “Sorry. I’ll admit I’m nervous.”

  She turned her head, her brows furrowing. “You’re nervous? Why?”

  “Because I’m too aware our entire relationship is riding on me finding the right words, and I’m not sure I have them.” He scanned the coffee shop around them. “I’m not even sure this is the best place for this, but I was afraid if I invited you over, it would give you the wrong impression. That I was inviting you over for a booty call.”

  She set her coffee cup on the table. “Okay. You have my attention. What do you want to tell me?”

  Crap. The moment of truth. His hand shook so bad he feared he’d drop his cup in his lap and spill hot coffee all over his groin. Wouldn’t that make a lasting impression?

  He drew a deep breath to calm his scattered nerves, but as he met her gaze again, an odd sense of peace settled over him. He didn’t know a lot of things right then, but whatever happened after this, he could never be sorry he’d told her.

  He set his hands on his thighs. “I’m in love with you.”

  Several moments passed in unbearable silence. His stomach tightened. His palms sweat. Hell, warmth prickled along his skin, making his suit and tie more than a little stifling. Like the heat in the coffee shop had gone up twenty degrees. Mandy sat and stared, eyes widened slightly and searching his face, mouth hanging open. He was dying to know what she thought, but he fisted his hands in his lap and forced himself to wait her out.

  Finally, she leaned back in her chair and folded her arms. “The night we agreed on a fling, you told me commitment wasn’t your thing. That if I was looking for something more than fleeting, that wasn’t you.” One shoulder hitched, nonchalant, but those shrewd eyes pinned him to his seat. “What’s changed?”

  He smiled. Out of everything she could have asked, that was easy. “Me. I missed you.”

  A soft flush rose into her cheeks. Mandy diverted her gaze out the window again, but that quiet vulnerability she was good at moved over her. Marcus took her silence as encouragement. Maybe he was getting to her. So he went on.

  He leaned forward, folding his hands on the table. “Frankly, I hadn’t expected that, but the last three days have been hell. I hate that you’re not mine anymore. That I can’t touch you or kiss you simply because I feel like it. From now on, whenever the gang gets together, I’ll have to go back to treating you like you’re just Trent’s kid sister. And don’t get me started on where my head goes when I think of you with someone else.”

  Mandy looked over at him. Amusement glinted in her eyes. “Where does it go?”

  “Down a violent path.” His knee bounced beneath the table as the thoughts filled his head all over again. He’d pondered it a lot. Her with someone else. Running into her somewhere, or God forbid, that she’d actually fall in love and bring one of them to a get-together. “Frankly, thinking about it makes me want to rip his head off and shove it up his ass.”

  A quiet laugh burst out of Mandy. “You always were one-part caveman, Marcus.”

  “But I’m your caveman, angel. And so we’re clear, I don’t want to be just your friend anymore, either. I want it all. I have to be honest, though. I can’t guarantee I’ll even be any good at a relationship. I’ve never had one before. Not like this.”

  Mandy sat blinking at him for a moment. “Because I’m different.”

  The exact conversa
tion she referenced filled his mind. That night when they’d agreed to a fling. He shrugged. “I know you don’t believe me, but you are. I’ve never felt this way about someone before. Gram was right. My life is good, but it’s empty. Funny thing is, it wasn’t until you walked away that I realized it. You’re that rare sunny day, after months and months of nothing but gray skies and rain. You’re bright and beautiful and I have no desire to let you go.”

  Marcus set his hand on the table palm up. Mandy hesitated before tentatively placing her hand in his, and he closed his fingers around hers. Vulnerability moved over him, making his stomach knot. Only with her could he let his guard down like this, but right then, with so much riding on him finding the right words, it still left him feeling naked and exposed. His belly laid bare.

  “I needed you today. It feels like it was only yesterday I was standing at Ava’s funeral, wishing like hell I’d wake up from whatever nightmare I was trapped in. I was watching that guy’s wife. It was odd, like seeing myself from someone else’s eyes. I could see her struggle with the same things I did, and it just brought it all back. And to have to do it without you?”

  He followed the lines in her palm with the tip of his index finger. Mandy didn’t say anything. So he went on, before he lost the nerve to say the words.

  “I hated that you weren’t there. That I’d fucked this up to the point that a friendship between us would never work. But God, I wanted you there. You were all I thought about the whole damn time.” He shook his head slowly as the memory of the funeral filled his thoughts. “And then I turned around and there you were. Like an angel from heaven. I have to tell you, it took a lot of willpower not to wrap myself around you and plaster my mouth on yours right there in front of everybody.”

  There it was. All laid out neat and tidy. Marcus drew a cleansing breath and forced himself to look at her. Mandy sat watching him, her expression surprisingly soft and open.

  “I had to. I knew how painful it would be for you, and I knew I’d never forgive myself if I let this”—she waved a hand between them—“become more important than the promise I made you. It wasn’t about me.”

  He laughed. “And that right there is why I love you and one of the reasons I want this. You put your own needs aside. For me. So you should know, angel, I’m not letting you go.”

  The corners of her mouth twitched, amusement blossoming in her eyes. She raised her brows, once again that sassy, spunky woman who didn’t hesitate to put him in his place. “I don’t get a say in this at all?”

  Relief flooded his insides. That she was teasing him had to be a good sign. He probably shouldn’t voice the words seated on his tongue, but her smile lightened his load by a lot, and damned if he could resist.

  “Nope. If you need time to learn to trust me again, to trust that I mean it when I say I’m not going anywhere, I’m okay with that. I have all the time in the world to wait you out. But you’re mine, angel, and I’m not giving you up.” He set his other hand on the table, palm up. More than anything, he wanted her to know he was serious. “I’m yours, Mandy. For as long as you’ll have me. I suppose the question now is, will you?”

  As he waited for her response, his heart shot up into his throat, and his whole body tensed. He hoped she’d take his hands again. She’d come to the funeral, so clearly she still cared, but had he pushed her too far?

  Instead of taking his hand, Mandy got up from the table and propped her free hand on her hip. “Grab your coffee, sailor.”

  When he stood and did as ordered, Mandy picked up his hand and pivoted, her heels click-clacking on the tiled floors as she marched from the coffee shop, tugging him behind her. She strode outside and through the small parking lot, to where she’d parked her car in the back. She stopped beside the driver’s door and faced him again. “I just didn’t think a full Starbucks was the right place to do this.”

  He furrowed his brow. “To do what?”

  She braced her hands against his chest, rose onto her toes, and sealed her mouth over his.

  Marcus groaned. Her mouth was soft and warm and familiar, and in seconds flat, he was putty at her feet and melting into her. Her lips plied his like she had all the time in the world. When she finally came back up for air, he was breathing hard. From arousal. From nerves. His only saving grace was that Mandy’s chest rose and fell to the rapid pounding of his heart. Her warm breaths puffed against his skin.

  She leaned into him, chest to chest, hip to hip, and stared him dead in the eye. “I want.”

  Relief flooded his chest.

  “Minx.” He tucked that errant curl behind her right ear and took a moment to simply enjoy the feel of her there. She was his, and it humbled him. “You scared the hell out of me. I wasn’t sure if you were accepting or sending me off.”

  She let out a quiet laugh. “Sorry. I couldn’t help myself. You’re cute when you’re nervous.” Her expression sobered. “You didn’t really think I’d say no, did you?”

  He shrugged. “When you left Sunday night, I had every intention of leaving well enough alone. I just didn’t expect to miss you so much. But I still let you leave.”

  She smiled, soft, alluring, and leaned closer. Until her mouth hovered a bare inch over his and her warm breaths teased his skin all over again. “Sometimes, all a girl really wants is to know that you love her, too.”

  He brushed his mouth over hers, a sense of vulnerable honesty creeping through him. Only with her. “Then I’ll say it again. I love you.”

  She sipped at his mouth, the barest, lightest kiss, and grinned. “Good. I love you, too.”

  He lifted a hand, traced the curve of her face, tucking that willful curl at her temple behind her ear. “I have to be honest, though. I meant it when I said I’m no good at this. Gram tells me I can be moody, and when things get tough, I have a tendency to bottle it up. There may be times when I shut you out without meaning to.” He touched his nose to hers and lowered his voice. “Promise me you won’t let me.”

  Her brow furrowed. “I don’t expect you to be perfect. I fell in love with you because you’re intense and passionate. You accept me for who I am, make me feel beautiful and like the only woman in the room. You’ve also helped me realize that there’s nothing wrong with me exactly the way I am. I like football and cars. So what?”

  He touched his nose to hers. “Far as I’m concerned, you are the only woman in the room. And I’ll say it again. Those guys who didn’t want you are clueless idiots.”

  She let out a soft laugh.

  He wrapped both arms around her. “You know, I guarantee you I’ll make mistakes, angel.”

  “If you’re trying to scare me away, it’s not working. I’m not afraid of you.” She winked at him, but just as quickly she sobered again. “We’ll play it by ear, take it as comes.”

  “You are so goddamn gorgeous. Thank you. I honestly haven’t thought much beyond this. Just that I want to spend as much time with you as I can.” He brushed his mouth over hers, murmuring into the space between them, “Speaking of which…can I see you tonight?”

  She smiled shyly, a soft flush in her cheeks. “I’d like that. Dinner?”

  “My place.” He raised his brows. “I’ll cook. You bring the wine?”

  “Deal.” She leaned up onto her toes, kissing him again, this one soft and lingering, then set back down on her heels. She dropped her gaze, running the edge of his tie between her thumb and forefinger. “You know, I’m glad Military Match paired us up that night.”

  He smiled, heart light and full. “Me too. I almost didn’t go. Putting on that monkey suit was almost a deal breaker for me.”

  Her soft laugh made his chest expand. God, how he loved that sound. He wanted to hear it often, would likely make an ass of himself to get her to laugh as often as he could.

  “Well, I for one think you look fantastic in it. I have to go. I have a meeting in twenty minutes. I’ll see you tonight. I’ll stop by Lauren’s bakery for some dessert as well.” She pecked his lips and pulle
d her car door open, setting her purse and coffee inside. A bare breath later, she seemed to remember something because she turned back, brows raised. “Oh, did I tell you I talked to Trent about us last night?”

  Marcus smiled and folded his arms. “Did you, now? Well, guess what? You’re mine and you’ll always be mine, no matter what Trent thinks about it.”

  She laughed. “Good. Because he said I could do a lot worse than you.” She winked, kissed his cheek, and climbed into her car. “See you for dinner.”

  He stared at her window, his mind processing. Mandy’s car thrummed to life beside him as his thoughts finally settled on one point. Wait a minute…

  He bent down and tapped on her window, waited until she rolled it down, and leaned on the edge. “What made you go talk to your brother?”

  She grinned. A full-out, shit-eating, proud-of-herself grin. “Because I’d decided I wasn’t giving you up either.”

  Epilogue

  She looks beautiful, doesn’t she?” Mandy sighed. She’d never stop being a hopeless romantic, and the sight before her was full-on dreamy. Five feet or so beyond her, Gabe and Steph swayed to the soft music playing from speakers set high on the walls.

  The lovebirds had gotten married that afternoon. A small ceremony, close friends and family only. Now the reception was in full swing. Drinks flowed and a happy buzz floated through the room. The band played a slow, romantic number as the guests gathered around to watch them share their first dance as husband and wife.

  Gabe leaned down and kissed Steph softly, and Mandy’s heart hitched at the love shining between them. They were in a world all their own, and she couldn’t be happier for the two of them. She’d been a nervous wreck making Steph’s dress, but it had turned out beautiful. A simple design: ankle-length silk, delicate spaghetti straps, and accented by a crystal-studded belt. The gown cascaded over Steph’s gorgeous hourglass figure. She looked perfect in it.