Holly's Wishes

by Karen Pokras

  “Or we can shoot pool,” Holly suggested with a twinkle in her eye.

  “Holly,” she warned, giving her the stern look she’d perfected from her two decades of mothering.

  “I’ll go easy,” she assured her, before nodding at Ben. “You interested?”

  He shrugged. “Sure. Why not?”

  Chapter 21

  “So this was a surprise,” Holly said as she racked up the balls.

  “For me, too,” Ben replied. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here. Your parents said you weren’t coming.”

  “You asked?” She looked up and noticed his face was a little flushed.

  “Well, yes. I was curious … to know if you and Jared would be here … so I’d have someone to talk to. It’s never fun coming to these things and being the odd man out. Did I hear you say Jared was sick?”

  “Sick?” Holly repeated. “Oh … yes.” She’d nearly forgotten that was the excuse she’d used. “It’s nothing serious, but you know, since I’m around kids all day at school, I didn’t want to catch anything I could pass along.” She really needed to work on her rambling thing.

  “That makes sense. Anyway, I’m glad I wound up coming. I wasn’t going to, but then my mom said your dad needed help with something, so here I am.” Ben smiled and tilted his head as he gazed at her.

  Was he flirting, or was her mind playing tricks on her? No, it must just be because she was angry with Jared. Or …was Tessa right? Did fate keep pushing them together? Holly couldn’t help but stare into his eyes, searching for some sort of a sign.

  “Looks like you’ve got everything set up,” he said, bringing her out of her thoughts.

  “What? Right.” She handed him the coin they always kept on the edge of the table. “Heads or tails?”

  “Ladies first, I insist.”

  Holly positioned her stick and made a clean break. She could swear she caught Ben’s eyes wandering from the pool table to her body as she leaned over the table.

  “Three ball in the side pocket,” she said, leaning over more than was strictly necessary. Well maybe he wasn’t flirting, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t. What harm would it do?

  “Nice,” Ben said when the ball rolled neatly into the hole.

  He was talking about the shot … wasn’t he? Holly moved to the other side. She continued to hit ball after ball into their intended pockets as Ben watched. Finally, feeling she had showed off enough, she purposely missed. “You’re up,” she said.

  “Wow. This is taking it easy on me?”

  Smiling, Holly shrugged.

  Ben picked out a stick from the wall and proceeded to turn it into the chalk block, getting blue powder all over his hands. Walking over to the table, he awkwardly positioned the stick along his arm.

  “Um, seven-ball in that far hole on the left.” He moved the cue ball in front of the seven and slid the pool stick back between his fingers. As the pole came forward, it lurched up and sideways, completely missing the ball. Instead, another ball bounced off the table.

  Putting her hand to her mouth, Holly tried to hide her laughter. “So, you play this game often?” she asked with a hint of sarcasm.

  “Never played before in my life,” he admitted with an adorable sheepish grin. “That obvious?”

  She nodded, biting her lower lip. She needed to stop letting his smiles affect her. “The first giveaway was when you tried to pocket one of my balls. I’m solids, you’re stripes.” She pointed to the remaining balls on the table. “Your blue fingers were another good hint, followed by your remarkable form. In fact, I’ve never seen anything like it.” She giggled again, this time without trying to hide it.

  “And I thought I’d be a natural,” he said, laughing along with her.

  “Here, let me show you.” Coming up behind him, she positioned her hands over his, showing him how to gently glide the pole between his fingers—back and forth in a rhythmic motion. Holly closed her eyes, taking in his clean scent. She felt his muscular body lean into hers, his warmth radiating against her.

  “Would you kids like a drink?” Patricia asked, coming down the stairs with a couple of bottles of soda. They broke apart quickly.

  “Great,” Ben said, rushing over to take the beverages from her. “Holly was just trying to show me how to play this game, but it seems I’m a lost cause.”

  Her mom smiled, her expression full of pity. “I’m afraid even the most experienced players don’t stand a chance against my lovely daughter. Anyway, dinner should be ready in about fifteen minutes.” She headed back up the steps.

  Holly and Ben sat with their drinks on the old, ratty couch that had been in the basement for the last twenty years.

  “I probably should have warned you,” she said with a shameless grin. “I’ve been undefeated for three years now.”

  “Impressive.”

  “It’s turned into a running joke in the house. When a new person comes in, they get sent to the basement to play pool against me … an initiation of sorts.”

  “An initiation I failed miserably at,” Ben agreed, though he didn’t sound too heartbroken over it.

  Holly chuckled and nodded. “You and so many others. My mom tried to save you by suggesting ping pong. Now you know why.”

  “Is there any way to redeem myself?” he asked playfully.

  “Nope, I am the merciless Queen Holly. You are now part of my royal billiards kingdom.”

  Ben slid off the couch and bowed down at Holly’s feet

  “You may sit, my loyal subject,” she said with a flirty smile.

  They took sips of their drinks to fill the silence that suddenly hung heavily in the air.

  “You seem like you would be a really fun teacher,” Ben finally said.

  “Oh,” Holly murmured, caught off guard. “I don’t know about that. We try to have a good time. Math can be a pretty dry subject sometimes. I’m lucky I have a great group of kids this year.”

  “It must take a lot of patience though, having to be around children all day.”

  She shrugged. “I don’t really think about it like that. It doesn’t feel like work most of the time. I guess I’ve always loved kids. I can’t wait until I have a houseful of my own.”

  “What about Jared? Does he want children, too?”

  Holly looked down. Sure, she and Jared had talked about having a family, but each time he said he wanted them, he sounded less than enthusiastic. Of course, none of that would even happen until he actually proposed. He’d told her on more than one occasion that having children before they were married was out of the question.

  “I’m sorry, am I getting too personal?” Ben asked, putting his drink down on the side table.

  “No, it’s fine. Jared wants kids, just not quite the brood I’m hoping for. What about you and Michelle?”

  Ben sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

  “Now I’m getting too personal,” she said.

  “It’s okay.” He cupped his hands in his face for a moment and looked at Holly. “We … broke up.”

  “Oh,” she said, not sure how to respond. “I … I’m sorry.”

  “Thanks,” Ben said, managing a smile. “It’s okay. I’m the one who broke up with her. It wasn’t working out anymore. It happened the night we saw you. After we left the pub. I was tired of her behavior.”

  “I understand,” she said, “I don’t know why I put up with it from Jared. The flirting really gets old after a while.

  “That was only a small part of it.”

  “So what set you over the edge?”

  “It was the way she spoke to your parents—and to you. I couldn’t deal with her complete lack of respect toward someone I—” He stopped abruptly and looked down.

  “What?” she asked.

  Focusing back to Holly, he smiled. “I— I was just going to say toward someone who is one of my friends.”

  She nodded and smiled back. “Well, I am sorry. It’s never easy having to break up, no matter what the circumstanc
es.”

  “Thanks. I actually feel like a huge weight’s been lifted off my shoulders. Believe it or not, she was pretty high maintenance.”

  “You don’t say,” Holly said, trying not to roll her eyes. “How did she take it?”

  “Not great. I was kind of surprised at her reaction, since she never seemed like the kind of girl who would want to be tied down to one guy. It was probably just for show. I have a feeling she’ll be over me before the weekend’s out. We didn’t want the same things out of life anyway, and a relationship built on values that don’t match is doomed right from the start.”

  Holly stared at him as his words sank in, letting them run through her mind a second time.

  “Anyway, I’m going on and on here,” he continued. “How are things with you and Jared?”

  She closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to hold back the tears as they started to form. It would have been so easy for her to say “fine” and move the conversation to another subject. Why did that one simple question make her so emotional? Was it the fight this evening, what Ben just said about incompatible values, or their entire situation?

  She quickly wiped away the tears that managed to escape. “I didn’t mean to cry,” she whispered. “It’s been a really frustrating time for me.”

  Looking at Holly, Ben held her gaze in a way that took her back to their sophomore dance. He reached over, wiping the tears she’d missed, letting his hand rest on her cheek. She tilted her head as he leaned in to tenderly kiss her lips.

  “Dinner!” Patricia called from the top of the stairs.

  “I’m so sorry,” he said, pulling away. “I never should have—”

  “No,” Holly stated, interrupting him. “It was my fault.”

  “I … I should really go.” He ran up the steps.

  Stunned, Holly sat on the couch, listening as she overheard Ben make up an excuse about getting a call regarding an emergency at the plant. She waited, listening to the sounds of the front door slamming shut, followed by a car racing down the driveway, before heading upstairs.

  Chapter 22

  “Tessa says she thinks it’s fate that we keep bumping into each other. Do you think that’s true?” Holly sat in the makeshift office she and Jared had set up in the spare bedroom of their apartment doodling hearts in the corner of her memo pad while she talked to Ava on the phone. She always doodled while trying to figure out a problem. It was a habit she’d had since she was a little girl. Not that Ben was a problem. She just hadn’t been able to get him off her mind since the kiss last night.

  After Ben ran out, Holly decided she needed to go home and try to salvage what was left of her own relationship with Jared. Making the excuse her boyfriend needed her to pick up some medicine for his illness, she said goodbye to her parents and their company before they could convince her to stay for dinner. When she got back to her apartment, she could smell the garlic and basil before even opening the front door. Walking in she noticed the unopened beers were still in their carton and the almost full beer bottle that Jared had opened right before she’d stormed out, was still on the coffee table. Continuing into the kitchen she found him washing pots from the dinner he’d prepared. Two plates piled high with pasta sat on the kitchen table along with a loaf of garlic bread and two candlesticks waiting to be lit. A romantic dinner. That seemed to be his way of apologizing lately.

  “What do you think?” Ava asked. “Do you think it’s fate?”

  “I think I was mad at Jared, and I got caught up in the moment?” Holly said with an uncertain tone.

  “Are you asking me or telling me?”

  “I’m giving you the answer I’m supposed to give—the one that’s the most rational. It’s the answer that says I’ve invested three years of my life with Jared, and yeah, he messes up here and there, but he does love me, and he’s hinted he’s getting ready to settle down and start a family. It’s the answer that says I’ve only seen Ben a handful of times, and what I’m feeling can’t be anything more than a leftover high school crush.”

  Holly put down her pen and walked to the kitchen to heat up her dinner—leftover pasta from the night before.

  “Okay, so you gave me the most rational answer. Now what’s the real answer?” Ava asked.

  She took her plate out of the microwave, sat at the kitchen table, and sighed.

  “The real answer is I can’t stop thinking about Ben and the kiss …”

  Twirling her fork in her pasta, she stared at the red and white swirls on her plate. Why was she still thinking about the kiss? She and Jared had made up over dinner last night, which then carried over into the bedroom. That’s what she should be thinking about.

  “At least he broke up with that woman. I heard she was— just a— I don’t know.”

  Holly laughed. “A bitch?”

  “Yes, a total bitch,” Ava agreed. “Tessa told me how she acted at Mom and Dad’s house.”

  Holly chuckled again. “I thought maybe I was being a little too judgmental because of what she was like in high school. But I’m glad Tessa noticed, too. Let me tell you, it was so hard to be civil to her the night we all went out. I wanted to smack her upside the head. It’s a good thing our youngest sister wasn’t with us. She definitely would have told her where to stick it. The only reason I was being the slightest bit polite was because Ben is Max’s cousin. You know, that whole family thing. I thought you all might be friends.”

  “Nope, we never met her. And I hope we never do,” Ava said.

  “Anyway, her character is completely irrelevant now that she’s out of the picture. We’ll never have to deal with her again, thank goodness.” Holly shuddered at the thought of her. “It’s just—it was easier not to think about Ben when I thought he was unavailable.”

  “So now what?” Ava asked.

  “It’s like I said before, I have Jared, and he did redeem himself after our big fight. I know you all don’t think he’s the best choice for me, but he’s not always a loser. He really can be a sweet guy.”

  “Nobody thinks he’s a loser, Holly. We just want you to be happy. If Jared is capable of getting his act together and giving you everything you want, then more power to him. He’s already scored major points with his raise and promotion. And I’m glad he had a nice dinner and apology waiting for you when you got home last night.”

  Holly nodded to herself. If all of that was true, then why couldn’t she stop thinking about Ben?

  Chapter 23

  “Your brother-in-law told me where you worked,” Ben said as he leaned up against his car.

  Holly stopped in her tracks as she walked out of the school building with Dan at six o’clock. They’d been working on their routine for the talent show, and since it had gotten so late, they’d agreed to grab a bite to eat together. She knew Jared was working the late shift and wouldn’t be home for hours.

  “Perhaps a rain check?” Dan said, looking from Holly to Ben.

  “Are you sure?” she asked.

  “It’s no problem. I’ve got a ton of work to catch up on anyway. We made great progress tonight.” He moved his feet perfectly in sync with the dance steps Holly had taught him that afternoon and put two thumbs up.

  “Looks great. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She smiled as she watched him walk to his car.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

  “How long have you been out here?” Holly asked.

  “I don’t know, since about four-thirty, I guess. That’s what time you normally leave, right?”

  “Normally, yes. What are you doing here?” He sat out here for an hour and a half?

  “I was hoping I could talk to you.”

  “Sure,” she said, although she wasn’t certain she really wanted to have this conversation. It was bound to be awkward. “What’s up?”

  He glanced around. “Do you think we could go somewhere private?”

  Against her better judgment, she replied, “Jared’s working the late shift, and I’ve got leftover chili
at my place. I’m only a few blocks away if you want to follow me over.”

  He nodded, getting back into his car.

  Holly went in first to make certain Jared really was working the late shift and hadn’t been sent home early again. She sighed in relief as she stepped into the empty apartment, wondering what she would have told Jared about having Ben in tow.

  “Nice place,” he said.

  “Thanks.” It was pretty nice. They were lucky to get the three bedroom rent-controlled apartment passed down from Jared’s grandmother.

  “Here, let me take your coat.”

  As he pulled his jacket off, the top two buttons on his shirt came undone. Holly watched the material slide across Ben’s muscular chest. She blinked her eyes and turned away, banishing the thought of the rest of the shirt falling away from his body. By the time she hung up his coat, his shirt was back in place and fully buttoned.

  “I–I’ll get d–dinner started,” she stammered, trying to regain her composure. “Would you like a drink?” She desperately wanted to open a window to let in a bit of cool air. Instead, she stuck her head in the refrigerator as she reached in for the chili.

  “Water would be great.”

  “How’s the new car?” she asked, trying to make small talk to take her mind off of what she had just seen. Maybe coming back to her apartment wasn’t such a good idea after all.

  “It’s great,” he responded. “Very reliable.”

  “So … you wanted to talk to me?” She handed him his glass and put the chili on the stove. “Please …”

  Motioning to the couch in the living room, she made sure to leave ample space between them as she sat down. She didn’t want to risk another episode like the one she just experienced.

  Ben took a long drink before speaking. “I shouldn’t have run out like that the other day. I feel bad about it … guilty is really the better word. It’s been bothering me since it happened. Not about the kiss, about running out. It was kind of a weird thing to do. I guess I didn’t know what to do, you know?”