Holly's Wishes

by Karen Pokras

  “Michelle?” she asked, sitting back up. “Tell me what?”

  Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly. “She called me to tell me she’s pregnant … with my child.”

  Holly shut her eyes, feeling her body shut down piece by piece. First her mind, then her lungs, and finally her heart, as it shattered into a million pieces. “I need air,” she whispered, running outside.

  “Holly, wait!”

  The bitter cold stung her skin as she crouched onto the front lawn, her tears almost icicles.

  “Holly,” Ben said, wrapping his coat and arms around her. “Please, come back inside, it’s freezing out here.”

  She let him take her hand and guide her back into the house. Keeping his coat wrapped around her, she sat back down on the couch, paralyzed by her thoughts.

  “Hol, this doesn’t change anything between us. You are the one I love. Only you. I can help raise the baby without being a part of Michelle’s life.”

  She willed herself to speak. She needed to get the words out, regardless of the pain they would inflict upon her soul. Unable to look him in the eyes, she spoke in a voice filled with despair.

  “No, this changes everything. You have a child to think about. You have to at least give it a try with Michelle. I could never forgive myself if you didn’t. Family means everything.”

  “Holly, don’t do this…”

  She stood up tall on shaky legs and handed Ben his coat. “I think you should leave now.”

  Chapter 36

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, hey … It’s New Year’s Eve! Who’s the party girl? It’s Holly! Woot!” Alex and Dan screamed together into the phone. Holly pulled the phone about a foot away from her ear so as not to result in any permanent hearing loss.

  “Um? OK?” she said, laughing.

  “It was a rap. Couldn’t you tell?” Dan asked.

  “I told him it sounded more like a cheer,” Alex chimed in, “but he didn’t believe me.”

  “No, it was great,” she said. “Sort of like a chap or a reer. I loved it.” Judging by the background sounds of the television, they were on speakerphone in their family room.

  “Oh, you know, we’re just trying to cheer you up. So, what’s the plan for tonight?” Dan asked. “Something spectacular I hope?”

  “Well, nothing big really. I told Tessa I might meet her out later for a drink, but I’ll probably pass. She’s going to a bar that’s having one of those huge New Year’s Eve dance party things. It’s going to be crazy. I’m not in the mood for that.”

  Holly sat down on her bed. She missed the New Year’s Eve days when she was younger and she and her sisters would all sit around the television in their pj’s watching the ball drop. Now with Ava back in California, Tessa preferring to hang out at parties, and Ben back with Michelle, Holly didn’t know where she fit in.

  “I guess I’ll work on lesson plans while I watch the ball drop with my parents.”

  “Nonsense!” Dan squawked. “As your boss, I’m telling you there will be no work tonight. That’s an order. And as your friend, I’m telling you we’ll be by in an hour to pick you up. Make yourself pretty, Ms. Holly Haines, we’re taking you out for a nice dinner, and after we’ll go back to our place to ring in the new year in style.”

  “And by style,” Alex interjected, “he means falling asleep with nachos hanging out of his mouth ten minutes before midnight.”

  “I’ve only done that twice,” Dan said.

  “But—”

  “No buts! Don’t make me start rapping again, because I’ll do it.”

  “Oh, he will,” Alex said, sounding terrified. “Please, Holly, I’m begging you. For the good of all mankind, do what he says!”

  “Nah,” she teased. “I don’t believe him. He doesn’t have it in him.”

  “What?” Dan retorted. “You know I will. First thing Monday morning when we’re back from winter break, I’ll rap all about how Holly Haines sat home all alone on New Year’s Eve … over the intercom.”

  “Hah! That sounds like a nursery rhyme gone bad or something,” Alex told them. “You don’t want him to do that. It could get ugly and scare the kids.”

  “Then,” her boss continued, “I’ll send Gus Shaw and Elaine Fairview down to your room. I’ll tell Mrs. Fairview you’re the one who came up with the idea of adding an extra math section to each grade. She’ll never leave you alone. Finally, I’ll tell Gus you think all of the math teachers should wear a standard uniform, and that he should be the guy to design and make them. Before you know it, you’ll be a human calculator. Kids will be coming up to you, poking you all day long.”

  “Ew, that’s obscene, Dan,” Alex said. “I kind of like it.”

  “Oh, get your mind out of the gutter, Alex,” he said. “That’s not where the buttons would go! I’m talking about kids here.”

  “No, please! Stop! I’ll go. Just.stop.now.please.” Holly was laughing so hard she could hardly catch her breath.

  “Ah, I had a feeling you’d see things my way. See, Alex? I knew I could persuade her.”

  “You are good,” he agreed.

  “So, see you in an hour, then? And wear that little floral dress you have. It’s really cute.”

  “Good-bye, guys,” she said, still chuckling.

  Holly hung up the phone and smiled. Her life might be falling apart, but she could always count on Dan and Alex to cheer her up. She pulled the floral dress out of her closet and held it up against her body, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Yes, the floral dress was definitely the way to go.

  ~~~

  Dan and Alex made reservations at the Woodland House even before Holly agreed to go out with them. They picked the restaurant, knowing she would want something low-key, charming, and out of the main thoroughfare of partiers. They were right. It was the perfect place for them to have a relaxing dinner. They were good friends. The best she’d ever had, outside of her sisters, of course.

  “Now, isn’t this better than worrying about ex-boyfriends and lesson plans?” Dan asked, digging in to the apple pie he ordered.

  “Much,” Holly agreed. “Thank you.” She scanned the restaurant. “I’m surprised this place isn’t more crowded for a major holiday.”

  “Oh, it will be,” Alex said. “Their New Year’s festivities haven’t kicked in yet. They’ve got the fancy five-course prix fixe menu like everyone else,” he stated in his best snooty tone. “I wanted to eat normal food, so we came before that began.”

  “That’s code for we’re cheap,” Dan chimed in. “I promised the maître d’ we’d free up his table before eight. We’d better hurry up before they boot us out.”

  “Nonsense,” Alex said. “I’ll stay until I’m good and ready to leave.”

  The waiter walked by and placed the check on the table without asking if they’d like to order anything else.

  “Um, I think they’re trying to tell us it’s time,” Holly said, laughing.

  “Oh, fine,” Alex said, shoveling in the last bite of his dessert.

  She reached down for her purse, but Dan grabbed her hand.

  “No you don’t. This one’s on us. We never did get to take you out for your birthday.”

  “You guys are too good to me,” she said, smiling. “I’m going to go use the ladies room. I’ll be right back.”

  Pushing her chair back to stand up, she accidentally knocked into someone. “I’m so sorr—”

  “Ugh,” the shrill voice began. “Look what you’ve—You! You’ve spilled my drink all over my dress.”

  Holly couldn’t help but stare at her protruding belly. “Michelle,” she said, taking a napkin off the table and handing it to her. “I didn’t see you there. I’m sorry.” Looking around, she wondered if Ben was with her.

  “Madame,” the waiter said, rushing to her side, to take her glass, “Please, let me get you another Perrier.”

  Through the distance she saw him approaching. “Sorry about that,” he said as he made his way up t
o her, “there was a line at the coat room. Oh.”

  Dan and Alex immediately stood up, apparently realizing who this woman was now that they saw her with Ben.

  “Holly, we should go,” Dan said. He threw a bunch of bills on the table and gently took her arm.

  “Yes,” she said, unable to take her eyes off of him. “O-okay.”

  The tears started before she reached the exit.

  Chapter 37

  “Are you sure you’re doing okay?” Ava asked.

  Holly adjusted the gold chain around her neck. She promised Dan she would be back at school no later than a quarter to seven as they were due to go on stage at seven o’clock. He wanted her there earlier, but she needed a break from him. In an effort to keep her mind off Ben, he and Alex had her in rehearsals nearly every waking moment she wasn’t teaching. It was exhausting, although she did appreciate the sentiment. Dan meant well, and for that she loved him. She loved both of them.

  “No, but I suppose I will be. I don’t really have a choice. I look ridiculous by the way,” she laughed under her breath while staring at herself in the mirror.

  She wore black nylon track pants, which had white stripes going down the sides of the legs, and a matching black T-shirt with an iron-on decal across the front that read: Don’t be a Fool, Math is Cool. Topping off the ensemble were the accessories: gaudy fake gold chains as well as sweatbands on her head and wrists. Dan would be wearing the exact same outfit. The attire was Alex’s idea. Holly felt completely absurd. She looked like … she wasn’t quite sure what … some sort of a rejected athlete wanna-be from the eighties or something. She certainly didn’t look like a hipster rapper. Of course, it was still better than the giant puffed out addition and multiplication sign costumes Gus had proposed.

  “Text me a picture,” Ava insisted.

  “Um, no. Anyway, I have to run. Wish me luck. But no leg breaking, please. I have enough problems.”

  “Good luck. I’ll be watching for you on YouTube later.”

  Holly snickered before hanging up. Her comment wasn’t even worth a response.

  ~~~

  “You made it!” Dan said with a sigh of relief.

  “Of course I did,” she said. “Did you think I’d bail?”

  “He only wakes up in sweats every night with that same re-occurring nightmare,” Alex replied. “You two look awesome, by the way.”

  “Thanks, I think.”

  “Anyway, everything’s all set. Say the word, and I’ll dim the lights and lift the curtain. It’s just about seven o’clock.”

  Dan looked like a nervous wreck. “Shall we?” he asked, holding out his hand.

  Nodding at Alex, she eagerly took her bosses hand and gave him a reassuring smile. “We’ve got this.”

  Gus walked out onto the middle of the stage in the gymnasium, which also doubled as an auditorium when the need arose, as Holly and Dan stood in the wings. He was dressed like a jester. It was her boss’ idea to give him the role of Master of Ceremonies for the evening, thus ensuring he didn’t actually perform. At least, she hoped he wasn’t going to perform. Looking at his getup she wasn’t so sure.

  “Ladies and gents and children of all ages,” Gus began as everyone took their seats.

  Holly peeked out from behind the curtain. It was a packed house. There were even some people standing along the back wall. She saw Tessa sitting in the third row and waved. Her sister waved back, holding up her smart phone. If she dared take a video of her performance, Holly would kill her.

  “We’ve got a great night planned for you and even some unexpected surprises,” Gus rambled on.

  Uh–oh. Surprises from Gus were never a good thing. Maybe he was planning something. Judging by the look on Dan’s face, he was thinking the same thing.

  “Your children have been working very hard on their routines, and I can tell you from watching rehearsals this afternoon, you’re about to see some things that will leave you … um, speechless … in a good way, you know. It’s all good. The children are fabulous, of course. As are the adults. Speaking of, let’s get this show started with two of our favorite adults: Ms. Haines and Mr. Harper!”

  Dan led Holly to the middle of the stage as the music started in the background. Well, not really music, it was more of a rhythmic beat for them to follow along to. They began moving their arms and legs to the sound perfectly in sync, just as they practiced.

  Holly started first. “How are we all doing tonight?” she shouted.

  The crowd cheered.

  “Come on! I know you can be louder than that! Let’s all make some noise!” Dan yelled.

  The crowd screamed even louder.

  She counted beats in her head as the cheers died down: five, six, seven, eight. She began the rap, “Yo, yo, let’s get on the floor, ’cause I want to tell y’all a story ’bout the number four. You see four alone is pretty great, but add two of them together to get the number eight.”

  Dan looked at Holly and shook his head. “Eight?” he shouted out. “I can do better than that. Listen here.” He waited for the beat to return to the beginning and then picked up the rap, “The number three has a funky groove, multiply them together and watch them move. Three times three makes the number nine, just remember that, and you’ll be fine.”

  Holly pushed Dan gently to the side and yelled, “Nine was so yesterday!” The crowd cheered even louder.

  He pretended to brush dust off his pants before getting back in line next to her. He resumed his dance steps in perfect sync once again. “Oh yeah?” he asked.

  “Yeah,” she replied, nodding and smiling.

  He shook his head and turned to the crowd. “How about this?” He returned to his rap voice. “One, two, and seven are numbers called primes, I’d like to see you work them into your little rhyme.”

  Holly shooed Dan away with her hand. “No problem,” she spoke, and then started rapping again, “Prime numbers are a handy tool, they need no other numbers to make them cool.” She smirked as she prodded the audience to cheer her on. They were more than happy to oblige.

  Dan hung his head and laughed. “Okay, okay,” he said, still moving his arms and feet to the beat. “You win.”

  She smiled. “Not yet!” she yelled and counted the beat in her head. “You see the best kept secret is the number five, it’s crisp and clean, and that’s no jive. Anytime you want to multiply, it ends in itself or a zero and that’s no lie.”

  “True story,” Dan agreed, shrugging, while keeping his hands moving.

  Holly glanced at him and giggled. As she moved her head to scan the audience, she noticed a face toward the back of the room. Ben? She missed the beat to the next line, and Dan gently nudged her. She looked at her boss and then back at the seat where she thought Ben had been sitting. The seat was empty. She kept moving her feet in rhythm, waiting for the starting beat to come back around, and nodded to Dan that she was ready.

  They rapped together, “But our favorite number is the number ten, put your hands together, and let’s do it again. Ten-nine-eight-seven-six-five-four-three-two-one! Math rules!”

  They clasped hands, brought them up high and took a long deep bow as the crowd cheered. They came back up, waved to the audience, and ran off the stage.

  “Oh my God, that was so much fun!” Holly shrieked, hugging Dan. “Sorry about the little snafu there. I lost my place for a second.”

  “I don’t think anyone noticed,” Alex said, coming out from the wings. “You two took the house down. That was great!”

  “It was all Holly!” Dan told her, beaming.

  “No, it was definitely a group effort,” she said, looking around.

  “Either way, it was fabulous,” Alex said. “I gotta go help set up for the next act, a piano solo.” He put his finger in his throat like he was trying to gag himself.

  He walked over to the piano, getting ready to wheel it on stage, while Dan moved back to the sidelines to watch as Gus introduced the next act.

  Tessa came running bac
kstage, nearly knocking Holly over. “That was awesome! If you were my teacher, I so would have loved math.”

  “Well, it’s never too late to start,” Holly joked. “I have an extra seat in my classroom.”

  “Um, I’ll pass, thanks.”

  “Listen,” she said. “You didn’t see Ben here, did you?”

  “Ben? No, why would he be here?”

  “No reason,” she said, feeling her euphoria going down a bit. “It must have been someone else. Forget I asked.”

  Chapter 38

  “A new outfit will cheer you up,” Tessa said while rummaging through racks of clothes.

  “I don’t need to be cheered up,” Holly told her. “I’m fine.”

  With the talent show now over, Holly felt like her life was on auto-pilot. She got up in the morning, went to work, sat through the occasional staff meeting, and came home where she usually spent her evenings having dinner with her parents, grading papers, and working on lesson plans. Socially she hung out with either Tessa or Dan and Alex. Life was … okay. She missed Ava, and she missed … “Ben?”

  “Where?” her sister asked.

  “Over there,” Holly said, motioning outside of the store to the area of the mall where there were benches. He sat facing them with his head down while he typed on his phone.

  “You know he’s back to texting me almost every day. You should go say hello.”

  “What’s the point?” Holly asked, sadness in her voice as she peeked at him from behind the racks. “I’m trying to forget about him, remember?”

  “He’s miserable. He may be even more miserable than you are. At least you don’t have to deal with Michelle on a regular basis.”

  “True,” she noted. “But I don’t think talking to him is a good idea.”

  “Okay, sis,” Tessa said, buried under a pile of clothes she was trying to balance without toppling over. “I’m going to go try these on.”

  Continuing to spy on him, Holly moved up one rack at a time, as if on a covert mission, until she was close to the door at the opening of the mall. As she prepared to move up to the final rack, the one that would bring her closest to the bench where he was sitting while still allowing her to remain hidden, he lifted his head and met her eyes. She had no choice but to stand tall and walk through the front entrance of the store, as if that were her intention the entire time. She wished her heart would stop pounding so loudly.