Love, Witches, & Other Delusions

by Natsume Akatsuki

  Copyright

  Konosuba: God’s Blessing on This Wonderful World!, Vol. 2

  NATSUME AKATSUKI

  Translation by Kevin Steinbach

  Cover art by Kurone Mishima

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

  KONO SUBARASHII SEKAI NI SHUKUFUKU WO!, Volume 2: CHUNIBYO DEMO MAJO GA SHITAI!

  Copyright © 2013 Natsume Akatsuki, Kurone Mishima

  First published in Japan in 2013 by KADOKAWA CORPORATION, Tokyo.

  English translation rights arranged with KADOKAWA CORPORATION, Tokyo, through TUTTLE-MORI AGENCY, INC., Tokyo.

  English translation © 2017 by Yen Press, LLC

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  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Names: Akatsuki, Natsume, author. | Mishima, Kurone, 1991–illustrator. | Steinbach, Kevin, translator.

  Title: Konosuba, God’s blessing on this wonderful world! / Natsume Akatsuki ; illustration by Kurone Mishima ; translation by Kevin Steinbach.

  Other titles: Kono subarashi sekai ni shukufuku o. English

  Description: First Yen On edition. | New York, NY : Yen On, 2017–Contents: v. 1. Oh! my useless goddess!—v. 2. Love, witches & other delusions

  Identifiers: LCCN 2016052009 | ISBN 9780316553377 (v. 1 : paperback) | ISBN 9780316468701 (v. 2 : paperback)

  Subjects: | CYAC: Fantasy. | Future life—Fiction. | Adventure and adventurers—Fiction. | BISAC: FICTION / Fantasy / General.

  Classification: LCC PZ7.1.A38 Ko 2017 | DDC [Fic]—dc23

  LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016052009

  ISBNs: 978-0-316-46870-1 (paperback)

  978-0-316-46871-8 (ebook)

  E3-20170327-JV-PC

  Prologue

  “Kazuma Satou… Welcome to the Great Beyond. I am the goddess Eris, and I will show you a new path. Your life in this world is over.”

  When I opened my eyes, I was in a place that looked like a Roman temple.

  The girl before me spoke those words, but I couldn’t fathom what she meant.

  She was clad in a billowing white Feather Dress, with long silver hair and alabaster skin.

  I thought I could sense a shadow over her face, upon her somehow fleeting beauty.

  There was no telling her actual age, but she could have passed for younger than me.

  The blue eyes of the goddess who called herself Eris looked at me with pity as I stood there and stared at her.

  As her words sank in, I realized I was dead.

  It was all oddly familiar.

  It had been like this when I met that other self-proclaimed goddess, Aqua, which was what led me to “that” world to begin with.

  But this time, I remembered what had happened just before I died.

  I see… I’ve died again.

  As that thought crossed my mind, I felt something trickle down my cheek.

  That hadn’t happened when I’d died the first time.

  Huh… Who knew?

  It turned out I’d liked that stupid, no-good world more than I thought.

  Chapter 1

  May I Trade with These True Friends!

  1

  “I want some cash!” I mourned, agonized.

  Cash, yeah. And plenty of it.

  At the tavern in the building known as the Adventurers Guild…

  I clutched my head with both hands, my face smooshed into the table.

  “So does everybody. Myself included, of course! …Think about it. Isn’t this completely pathetic? Let’s say I—a goddess, remember!—was willing to live in a stable for the rest of my life; why would you let me? Wouldn’t you be ashamed to do that? If you understand, then make with the goods! Baby me!”

  A beautiful young woman with light-blue hair harangued me as I sat there with my head in my hands.

  She had good looks, if nothing else. Her name was Aqua, and allegedly she was some kind of goddess…

  “…You don’t even know why I want the money, do you?”

  “How should a pure, good-hearted, beautiful person like me know what goes through the dirty mind of some former hikikomori? You probably just want enough money to shut yourself away forever or something.”

  “It’s debt!” I spat.

  Aqua quivered slightly and looked away.

  “Debt! The debts you’ve racked up wind up garnishing most of our reward for every single quest! It’s almost winter! This morning when I woke up inside my pile of straw, my eyebrows were frozen! All the other adventurers are already sleeping at the inn. What are we gonna do when it’s winter for real, huh? We’re gonna freeze to death on our haystacks, that’s what! Never mind defeating the Demon King and making it home—I just want to make it through the night!”

  I pounded the table as I shouted at Aqua, who had covered her ears, closed her eyes, and turned around.

  This world was home to people called adventurers.

  Day and night, they battled the monsters that threatened the populace, saved their wages for a drink at the bar, and generally lived never knowing if they would survive to see tomorrow.

  And even these people, who did everything by the seat of their pants, still managed to get themselves a place at an inn when winter came.

  Part of the reason, unfortunately, was that most weaker monsters hibernated in winter, leaving only powerful opponents in the field.

  Our base of operations was Axel, a town full of novice adventurers. For a bunch of amateurs who barely had hair on their chests, taking on winter monsters was a suicide mission.

  Bam! Aqua leaned over and began her retort by pounding the table.

  “Well—Well—What was I supposed to do?! Without my super-incredible performance back then, this town might have been destroyed! And they put me in debt?! They should be thanking me! That bill was unjustified! In fact, I’ll go protest to the receptionist here!”

  “Hey, lay off, don’t bother the desk lady! …To be fair, they did give us a huge reward…even if they charged us enough to put us in the red right after that. ‘Sorry, we had to destroy part of the town in order to save it.’ You think they were gonna let us off scot-free?”

  A general of the Demon King named Beldia had attacked this town.

  The Demon King.

  Yes, that Demon King.

  Just like the ones you’ve seen in manga, video games, everything. And one of his generals attacked us.

  Aqua was able to weaken Beldia by exploiting his vulnerability with a deluge of water, after which I’d overwhelmed him with an irresistible technique, and we got out with no problem. Except…

  “Whatever! You spent the whole fight running, then after I finally weakened that Dullahan, you just used Steal to get his head. You owe me more praise! More adulation! Where’s the kudos, the cheering, the coddling?! Everyone at this Guild should be all, We knew you could do it, O revered goddess!”

  “You grandstanding idiot! You’ve been getting really full of yourself! Yes, I’ll admit you somehow pulled it off aga
inst the Dullahan. Fine! All the reward, all the praise, and all the debt are yours! So you can just pay back the whole thing by yourself!”

  “Waaah! I’m sorry! I apologize for getting carried away; please don’t abandon me!”

  Aqua wept and threw herself at me as I got up to leave the goddess of debt behind.

  But someone called out to us:

  “Really, do you two need to be at it first thing in the morning? Everyone’s…not looking. I see the whole Guild is already used to this…”

  “You are here quite early. Is there any good work?”

  The speakers were our companions: Darkness, our Crusader-cum–hardcore masochist, and Megumin, our terminally tweeny Arch-wizard.

  Darkness brushed aside her long golden hair as she sat down. She was dressed in casual civilian clothes, her great sword at her hip. Megumin sat beside her, a Wizard with an eye patch covering one of her red eyes.

  “Hey guys, made all your preparations? We haven’t found any work yet. I mean, under the circumstances, I figured there was no rush—we could wait till you got here.” As I spoke, I looked around the Guild Hall. Despite the early hour, there were adventurers drinking to their hearts’ content.

  Some things were inevitable, right?

  Everyone who had been part of the battle against the Demon King’s general had gotten a reward. Adventurers with overflowing purses had no reason to go out of their way to hunt dangerous winter monsters.

  As a result, we could have our pick of quests from the Guild’s board…

  I went over to the board to see if there was anything good.

  “Let’s see… Plenty of good payouts, but no quests that seem really worthwhile…”

  Take out a pack of white wolves that has been attacking a farm. Reward: 1 million eris.

  A One-Punch Bear has come out of hibernation and is living in a field—kill it. Reward: 2 million eris. Chase it off. Reward: 500,000 eris.

  No way could we handle a pack of wolves. They were bigger than dogs, faster, and if they all came at us at once, we’d be done for.

  And bears were out of the question. What if it attacked Megumin or me? Heck, we’d probably be finished if it gave us a pat on the head. I didn’t want anything to do with a creature with a name like One-Punch Bear, anyway.

  “What’s this? ‘Mobile Fortress Destroyer is in the vicinity. Seeking scouts to investigate its likely path.’ Huh? What’s Destroyer?”

  “Destroyer is—It’s Destroyer,” Darkness said. “You know, fast, mobile…a fortress.”

  “It moves like vwoosh, vwoosh,” added Megumin, “and tramples over everything in its path. Also it is strangely popular with children.”

  I see. I don’t get it.

  I let the girls’ explanations go out my other ear and resumed my search for work.

  What was left was—

  “Hey, what about this? Hunting Snow Sprites? That doesn’t sound very threatening.”

  Every Snow Sprite you took out would net you a hundred thousand eris.

  That was a fairly lucrative reward compared to those for the creatures we’d fought in the past, but its name wasn’t very intimidating, unlike wolves and bears.

  “Snow Sprites are very weak monsters. Snowy fields are supposed to be heavily populated with them, and I hear you can slice them easily with a sword. But…”

  Before Megumin could finish, I tore the piece of paper off the board. As I took the notice, Aqua joined in.

  “Snow Sprite hunting? Snow Sprites aren’t particularly dangerous to people, but they say each time one dies, spring comes half a day sooner. If you’re going on that quest, let me just get ready,” and with a Hang on! she disappeared somewhere.

  Megumin didn’t seem to have any objections to our taking on the quest.

  Darkness muttered quietly, “Snow Sprites…?”

  I figured our hardcore masochist of a Crusader would be the one to complain. She always wanted to tangle with some powerful monster.

  But for some reason, she seemed almost happy.

  While we waited, I had a bad feeling about Darkness’s mood. But we set off on our hunt as soon as Aqua got back.

  2

  In a field off away from town.

  I was pretty sure there hadn’t been any snow in town yet, but this place—and this place only—shone white with it.

  Then there were what must have been the Snow Sprites—fluffy white balls about the size of my palm—drifting here and here.

  They sure didn’t look dangerous.

  So what made them worth a hundred thousand eris apiece?

  There was that legend that spring would come a few hours sooner each time one of these creatures perished. Maybe some people who really couldn’t wait for spring got together to offer a lavish reward.

  After all, who said the monster had to be powerful just because the quest boasted a big payout?

  Say you had an average monster that was ripping up fields but wasn’t a danger to people, and one that was weak but loved fighting and would actively attack people. Of course the bounty would be higher on the weak but vicious one.

  Yes, the price on the Sprites bothered me, but something else bothered me even more.

  “…Can’t you do something about that outfit?”

  It was the middle of winter, and there was Aqua with a bug net and some small bottles, like a dumb kid about to go bug hunting.

  Aqua looked at me with the kind of duh expression you would give a total moron.

  Why, this little…!

  “We catch some Snow Sprites and put them in these bottles. Then we put the bottles in a box with our drinks. We’ll be able to have ice-cold Neroid any time we want! In other words, I’m inventing the refrigerator! What do you think? Smart, huh?”

  I could see this going wrong somehow. But it was her idea, and she could do what she wanted.

  And……

  “Hey, you—where’s your armor?”

  “In the shop.”

  As if Aqua wasn’t enough, our party’s one-woman wall, Darkness, was still in her civilian clothes, no armor, just her sword at her side.

  “Yeah, the Demon King’s general gave your armor a pretty good beating, didn’t he? But are you sure you’re going to be all right like that? Ehh, I guess it doesn’t look like Snow Sprites are much for attacking, anyway.”

  “It’s no problem. A little chilly, but I can just treat it like a test of my endurance…”

  Dressed in only her tight black skirt and black shirt, Darkness stood there panting and looking pretty cold.

  Or maybe this perv was one of those people who’s always feeling hot. Maybe it melted her brain, too.

  We collected ourselves and began the hunt.

  “Megumin, Darkness! Get the one that went that way! Stay still, darn it!”

  The Snow Sprites had drifted about lazily when we kept our distance, but as soon as we moved in for the attack, they started darting away.

  It was hard to land a hit on them.

  Well, they were worth a hundred thousand each. It couldn’t be too easy.

  I brought down my third or fourth Sprite, then let out a breath.

  “I caught my fourth one! Look, Kazuma! Look at all of them!”

  When I glanced toward Aqua’s giddy shout, she was shoving a captured Snow Sprite into a bottle.

  …Maybe I should’ve brought a net instead of my sword.

  If we couldn’t take down enough Sprites in the field, we could always finish off the ones in Aqua’s jars.

  “Kazuma, Darkness and I are chasing these Sprites around, but they are agile and hard to hit… Can I please just clear this field with Explosion?” Megumin asked, panting. She had finally managed to give one Sprite a knock with her staff after she and Darkness had chased it up and down the plain.

  I’d been worried we might run into the wolves or the bear from the other quests, but my Sense Foe skill was always working, and if I felt anything, we could just run away.

  “Fine, go for it, Megu
min. Let’s clean up this place.”

  Megumin gave me a thrilled look and began to chant—

  “Explosion!!”

  Megumin’s ultimate magic spell, which she could use only once per day, enveloped the snowy field.

  The shock wave rattled the cold, dry air, and along with the roar of the blast, we could see bare earth where a crater had formed in the middle of the field.

  Megumin flopped down, now altogether out of magic, but she still managed to triumphantly show us her Adventurer’s Card.

  “Eight! I took out eight of them. I have leveled up!”

  Hey, way to go.

  Though she would’ve looked more impressive if she wasn’t facedown in the snow.

  That made three for me and nine for Megumin. Altogether, we’d taken out twelve so far. Counting the ones Aqua had captured, we had sixteen, or 1.6 million eris.

  That worked out to four hundred thousand per person.

  And it hadn’t even been an hour.

  This was the dreaded winter hunting?

  Why wasn’t anyone else getting in on these weak and oh-so-profitable monsters?

  At that moment, as if in answer to my question…

  “Ah, there he is!”

  Darkness took one look and then entered her stance, sword out and a small satisfied smile on her face.

  He almost burst onto the scene, so fast my Sense Foe ability wasn’t able to warn me in time to get us out of there.

  “…” Megumin, flush with victory just a moment ago, stayed silently on the ground and tried to play dead.

  “…Kazuma. Let me tell you why adventurers stop taking on quests in the winter.” Aqua backed up a step, never taking her eyes off the thing.

  The thing that had all our attention took one gliding step forward.

  “You’ve lived in Japan. Surely you’ve at least heard his name on the weather forecasts this time of year?”

  His entire body was clad in thick white armor, and he exuded an unmitigated desire to kill us.

  Yeah, I was Japanese. I knew who he was at the first glance, even before Aqua had said anything.