“Sorry. He paid me a lot of money to make sure she stays right here. I’ll just sit her down here by the couch, but don’t leave her in the box too long. You wouldn’t want her to die, would you?” He asked with a look of shock on his face. Like I would tell him I wanted the poor little doggie to die. I didn’t want her to die, I just didn’t want her to live in my house.
“I’ll double whatever he paid you, if you’ll take her back.”
“He anticipated that. No can do, ma’am. She’s all yours. Enjoy.” With those words he left “her” there with me, still in the box on the floor by the couch. I didn’t even want to look inside it. She kept whimpering.
Damn him!
“Fine! I’ll take you out of the box, but that’s it. No snuggling. No petting. No licking. And especially no pissing on the floor. Got it?” I hadn’t even seen the little bugger yet and I was already barking out demands. I removed the lid and saw the two beady little eyes staring back at me.
Why did she have to be so damn adorable? Huh? Why couldn’t he have gotten me an ugly dog? Some skinny, scrawny monstrosity. Oh no, my husband went out and found the most adorable little bitty white puffball in existence.
Damn him!
Picking her up slowly out of the box, I held her away from me. She was staring at me with those big black eyes and that was it. I was in love.
Goddamn it!
We spent the rest of the day relaxing on the couch. The darn dog snuggled up to me and I researched her breed from the papers that were in the box with her and found out that she would never be much bigger than she is right now. She will weigh at most five pounds and will always be this cute and cuddly. Also, in the box was the packet of information for the obedience training she was slated to start tomorrow. They would come to the house for a couple of hours a day to teach her how not to potty on the floor and chew up our furniture.
As much as I wanted to be mad at Sterling for this, I couldn’t be. I already liked having Tiff around. Oh, that’s right I named her Tiffany after that famous little jewelry store that I was so fond of.
When Saturday rolled around Mom asked me to go to the spa with her. My mom had been sick off and on since before Sterling and I were married. She hadn’t mentioned anything to me, until I went over to see her one day and caught her putting on a wig. Her head was shaved bald and I had no idea what was going on. Her explanation was very clear and concise. It wasn’t my problem and she was handling it. That was the way my mom was. She was cold and stoic. My dad had made her that way and now she was like that with everyone, including me.
We were sitting in the spa at the Regal Manor when I asked, “How are you feeling, mom?”
“Fine,” she said as she reached over and grabbed my hand. We were sitting side by side getting pedicures.
“Are you sure, mom? You’re fine? That’s what the doctors say, or what you are telling me?”
“Skye, if I listened to what the doctors say, I’d have died by now,” she laughed.
What the hell? She laughed at that? I let go of her hand. “I really don’t find any humor in that, mother.”
Staring straight ahead, she said, “I’m sorry, Skye. I shouldn’t be so flippant about it, but sometimes you just take things way too seriously. We all die, some of us just die sooner than others. Doctors aren’t miracle workers. They’ll do what they can, and then the rest is in the hands of a much higher power than ourselves.” She continued to sip her gin, “I’m not sure what that higher power has in store for me, but I’m not going to get frown lines thinking about it constantly, and you neither should you.”
“Who am I to argue with you, huh? It’s your life and you know what’s best.”
“Yes, Skye, I do.”
We spent the day getting pampered. When I arrived home that evening I dressed in my new gown, shoes, and lingerie that Sterling had sent me and I pulled my hair back with the diamond clip. Tiff was in her crate and whining, but I had to put her in there until I got back. I couldn’t let her tear down the penthouse.
My parents were holding the party at their home. The home I was raised in spoke of pure opulence. My father was not one to shy away from showing off and the Buchanan home was a testament to that.
Sitting on two acres in an upscale neighborhood, the home was spectacular. Passing through the large iron gate and driving up to the house was always an experience. Rounding the large circular drive with the fountain set in the middle, you were immediately surrounded by a variety of roses that made Manuel, the gardener, very proud.
The house itself was rather modern, due to an update my father had done a few years ago. The exterior was gray stone and was accented perfectly with the red door and black trim. Thanks to Manuel, the landscaping was immaculate. The stone fence surrounding the property was lined with shrubs along the street. There were no trees around the property, because my father wanted to make sure that everyone who drove or walked by could take in the beauty of this home.
Walking through the front door, I immediately felt awkward. Who attends their first anniversary party without their spouse? Apparently, Skye Smith does.
“Darling, you’re here. Where’s that handsome husband of yours?” My mother asked in that fake tone she always used around guests. It made her almost sound motherly. She then gave me a brief hug and the traditional kiss on each cheek.
I hadn’t been able to tell my parents that Sterling wasn’t coming to the party. Honestly, I kept hoping he would show up and I wouldn’t have to tell them, but no such luck.
“Something came up. A work emergency, I’m sure you understand,” I said.
“Miss Skye, congratulations, honey!” Mrs. Jensen said to me as she reached me from across the room. Mrs. Jensen was a small older woman who had worked for my family forever and a day. She worked as my nanny until I didn’t need one anymore and then moved on to housekeeping and whatever else my mother needed her to do.
Tonight, she was working at the party and I wished that she could attend as my guest and not a hostess. My father wouldn’t hear of such a thing. “An employee’s place is in the back of the house, never in the front,” my father would always say when I would ask why Mrs. Jensen couldn’t come to my birthday parties.
“Thank you so much, Mrs. Jensen. It seems like it’s been ages since I last saw you.”
Pulling me into a big bear hug, she said, “It does seem that way, doesn’t it Miss Skye?”
“It really does.”
“I was looking forward to seeing your husband again. He is so, what is it you kids say nowadays? Hot? Fine?”
I laughed. “Yes, ma’am he is definitely both of those things, but he’s also not here.”
“He’s missing his own darn party?”
“Seems that way. Something came up. You know, it’s a work thing.”
Her eyes dropped and her smile quickly faded. I could tell by the look on her face exactly what she was thinking…it’s already a work thing?
I knew how she felt about the way my dad treated my mom, and I could tell that she was worried that Sterling was going to treat me that way too.
He wouldn’t be like that, right?
I hadn’t made the biggest mistake in my life and married a man like my father, had I? No. No, that wasn’t true. Sterling wasn’t anything like my father. Nothing at all.
Shaking that thought from my head I said, “When he gets back in town I want you to come over for dinner. I’d say I’d cook for you, but we both know better than that. I can however, order a mean takeout.”
Slowly, her smile reappeared. “That sounds great, Miss Skye. I can’t wait.”
I mingled and chatted with old friends and some people who I’d never met, but were apparently business associates of my father’s. Everyone wanted to know where my husband was, and honestly I really wanted to know too.
When I stepped into the kitchen I heard the raised voices of my parents. They were obviously arguing, but I couldn’t really make out what they were fighting about. As I came aroun
d the corner to the kitchen sink I saw my mom pass out and my father try to grab her, but he missed and she fell to the floor.
Running over to her I asked, “What’s going on? What’s wrong with her?”
“That’s for her to tell you, Skye. Please go back to the party and find Dr. Panelle.”
I was crouched down over my mother, watching as the sweat poured off her brow and she began to shake all over.
“Skye, go now! Get the doctor for your mother.”
Finally knocked out of my daze, I went back to the party and Mrs. Jensen ran into me. I asked her if she knew who this doctor was and she pointed him out to me. When I got to him and explained the situation, he very calmly sat down his drink and asked me to lead the way to my mother.
“Allen, what happened?” The doctor asked as he sat down and began to examine my mother.
“We were talking and then she just collapsed.”
“Talking? Did you say something to upset her? You know that in her condition, stress is a major concern.”
“I know that, Dr. Panelle. We were having a very slight disagreement about her treatment. You know what I think she should be doing and she still insists that she won’t even attempt the more aggressive approach. How can she possibly expect to get well if she’s too stubborn to even try?”
“We’ve been over this before, Allen. That is her choice. This is her body and she has to make the right decision for herself. Right now, I think she’s just exhausted and maybe a little dehydrated. Let’s get some help to get her upstairs and I’ll keep an eye on her until she wakes up. Then we’ll give her some fluids and make her eat something. I can tell she hasn’t been eating much and that’s really not going to aide in her recovery.”
I’d heard enough. It was time for somebody to tell me what the hell was going on. “Her recovery? What is wrong with her? Is the cancer not going away? She told me she was much better.”
“Mrs. Smith, your mother’s condition is steadily deteriorating. She has been given approximately six more months.”
“What do you mean six months? Six months to receive treatment? Then will you try something new?”
My father stood up and somberly placed his arms around my shoulders. “No, sweetheart. Your mother has been told by her doctors that she only has six months to live. Apparently, she believes she is in line for some type of miracle.”
“That’s just bullshit. There is no way that she wouldn’t have told me this.”
My father pulled away and as he stared into my eyes, I knew it was true.
“Why didn’t she tell me, Father? Why?”
“She hasn’t told anyone. The only reason why I know is because I found her passed out on the floor and forced her to take me with her to the doctor. That was when Dr. Panelle shared the news with me.”
“And you didn’t think this was information you should share with your daughter?” I threw my hands up in the air and turned to leave the room. “I’m done with this shit.”
“It wasn’t my place to tell you, Skye. Your mother gave me specific instructions. I was not to share her condition with anyone. I’m sure she just didn’t want you to worry.”
I turned around and looked back at him, “Bullshit. She never cared before if I worried, what the hell would make her care now?”
“Your mother loves you more than you know, Skye. She always has.”
“How in the hell would I know that? It’s not like she shows me she cares.”
“We aren’t touchy feely people, Skye. You should know that by now. It’s not like this is something new.”
“My mother is dying. Yeah, that’s new to me.”
“Damn it, Skye, you know that’s not what I meant. Stop being a spoiled little princess and help me with your mother.”
“No, I don’t think so. I’m out of here. Let me know how this all works out for you.”
“Skye?” My mother spoke in barely a whisper.
I walked over to her and knelt down beside Dr. Panelle who was checking her pulse in her wrist. “It’s me, Mother.”
“Why are you mad?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“Seriously, mother? You’re passed out on the floor and your doctor is sitting beside me, seriously? You’re still going to play games with me?”
She looked away from me, glancing to anything in the room besides me. “It’s going to be fine. Don’t think another thing about it, darling.”
Standing up quickly, I started back out the door. “No problem. I won’t think another thing about it, mother. Enjoy your six months without me, okay?”
With those words I left my childhood home and made the decision to never go back there again. My parents didn’t love me, they never really had. I was like a shiny bauble that they could show off periodically. I was done. I was done with all of this. I needed to get back to my life and I needed my husband here for me.
Why the hell wasn’t he here for me?
The love I had for him was so strong, stronger than anything I’d ever felt for anyone and it was killing me to spend so much time away from him. We were basically living separate lives. Marriage wasn’t supposed to be like this. Let me rephrase that, my marriage wasn’t supposed to be like this. This was the way my parents had lived, mostly apart and when they weren’t physically apart, emotionally apart for their entire marriage. It was like they didn’t even live in the same home, even though they had for over thirty years.
My marriage would not be like theirs. Something was going to have to change and it was going to have to change soon. I needed more from him than gifts and occasional hot sex. I needed my partner back.
***
One year later
“Skye’s The Limit, how may I assist you?” I heard Lori say for the umpteenth time this morning. For some reason I was on edge today.
Sterling had been out of town going on three weeks. His traveling was starting to piss me off. He was gone a hell of a lot more often than I was. I made sure to plan my trips around his, so that we could spend a little bit of time together. He didn’t seem to care if he spent time with me or not.
Being married for almost two years and spending much of the last year alone, I’d tried to push them out of mind, but thoughts of an affair were swirling through my mind. We didn’t spend much time together anymore, and when he was here he didn’t seem to really be here. Our instant messages and texting sexy times were non-existent. The only logical explanation was he was getting some on the side. He had to be. Sterling was too sexual not to be having sex with someone and it obviously wasn’t me he was having it with.
That thought made my stomach turn.
Would Sterling do that to me?
My heart told me no, but my mind was leaning in the other direction.
What the hell did my heart know?
I should’ve stopped listening to that bitch years ago.
“Skye, your dad’s assistant is on the phone. She said it was urgent.” Lori stuck her head in the door of my office.
I picked up the receiver knowing that whatever she had to tell me wasn’t going to be good news. “This is Skye.”
“Mrs. Smith, your father asked me to contact you. He’s on a business trip to Peru and his signal kept fading. It’s your mother.” Her voice had started off rather cold, but suddenly it changed to soft and perhaps a little sad. That change frightened me. “I’m sorry to inform you, but apparently the cancer progressed and she passed away earlier this morning. Mrs. Smith, if there’s anything I can do for you, please let me know.”
Complete and utter shock rolled through my entire being. Not only was I just informed that my mother had passed away, but my father couldn’t even be bothered to pick up the phone and tell me himself.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Excuse me?”
“The bastard couldn’t even call his daughter to tell her that her mother was dead? It takes a special kind of heartless asshole to do that.”
>
“Please accept my condolences, Mrs. Smith. Your father asked that you handle the arrangements. Her body is being sent to the Aster Funeral Home. He will not be able to make the service, either. I truly am sorry.” The line went dead.
Walking into my office, Lori paused in front of my desk. “Skye, are you okay? Honey, is everything alright?”
Staring straight ahead, I muttered, “My mother’s dead.”
I didn’t even recognize my own voice; it was cold and monotone.
“What?” Lori came around the desk and pulled me up from my chair. Slipping her arms around me she pulled me into her embrace, waiting patiently for me to cry or feel something, anything. I wouldn’t cry and I didn’t know what the hell I was feeling.
What I needed to focus on right now was planning a funeral service for the woman who gave birth to me. The woman that I spent my entire life trying not to be like. I had to remain composed. The same way I had been taught to be my entire life. The important thing here was my responsibility to my mother.
“I’m okay, Lori.” I pulled out of her hug. “I really am. I need to get to the funeral home. There are decisions that need to be made. I’ll have to plan the service and get a caterer for the meal after. I guess that will need to be held at my penthouse? Oh, and my mom would want to be buried in my grandmother’s diamond brooch. You remember it was the one I wore to my wedding.” I took my purse from the credenza behind my desk. “I have to go home and find that brooch.” I walked out of my office.
I barely heard Lori say, “I’m going to call Sterling. He needs to come home.”
I couldn’t think about him right now. He was not my priority. I had a job to do.
Focus, Skye.
You have to take care of this.
This is your responsibility.
You have to plan a funeral that your mother would be proud of. This is her last big party, it has to be perfect.
Walking into my childhood home was almost surreal. Sure, I’d been there many times as an adult, but my mom was always there. She would be in the sitting room drinking her gin and reading up on all of the gossip in the society papers. That was her life. That was how she wanted it to be. She’d survived breast cancer twice. She had the best doctors money could buy, but apparently the third time wasn’t a charm. I assumed that was the cancer my father’s assistant had referred to. I thought back to the night when Dr. Panelle told me she had been given six months to live.
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