Remember My Love

by Elise Dee Beraru

  "What would I do about Josh? I can't take him east with me if I don't know where I'm going and I've heard nothing from the Carrolls about what to do with him."

  "He's your stepson, isn't he?" Adele had told Mr. Duneagan about Blair's amnesia and about Joshua and how he came to be with her when she arrived in Green River. "I don't hear him begging to go home. He's having a grand time playing with Beatrice and Moira's kids and getting his clothes dirty. And I don't hear you talking about divorcing your man, so I suppose the boy's as well off with you as with that bastard you married."

  Adele ignored the last comment. "I wired Stephen that I wouldn't send him home with a stranger. Even if I broke that vow, I suspect he would try to escape the train and follow me and that would be more dangerous than keeping him with me. But before I go to Baltimore, I ought to make sure someone there wants me."

  DEAR GRANDFATHER and Grandmother, Adele wrote.

  I last wrote to you nearly ten years ago when your daughter, my mother, Beatrice Maxwell Stoddard, died. At that time you did not answer my letter.

  I am still your granddaughter. My sister, your other granddaughter, Susannah is living in San Francisco and is engaged to be married to a young attorney from a prominent family. He is a good man who will make her very happy.

  I have recently returned to Wyoming with my daughter, whom I have named Beatrice after my mother. I am also in temporary, although indefinite custody of my stepson while I await my husband's decision regarding his return. For a number of reasons too complicated to go into here, my marriage of just under two years is over and I have resumed using my maiden name.

  I have discovered there is nothing holding me in Wyoming and I am selling our farm to a young family. I also find that I cannot return to San Francisco.

  I had hoped in the past ten years you might have softened your attitude regarding my parents' marriage and might be willing to accept Beatrice and me in your lives. I am more than willing to seek and accept employment and find my own living accommodations, but it would be very helpful to know that I have family of some sort nearby if I am to attempt to restart my life in a city where I have not lived in twenty-five years.

  I can be reached by mail or wire c/o Mr. Sean Duneagan, Green River, Wyoming Territory, for the time being. I pray that I may hear from you soon. I remain,

  Your granddaughter,

  Adele Stoddard.

  ADELE WAS actually surprised that a letter came back from Baltimore:

  Dear Adele Stoddard,

  Your letter was an amazing surprise. To introduce myself, my name is Darren Maxwell, and your mother was my younger sister. When your letter arrived in 1866, I was posted to the military government in Mississippi after the War. As a result, my parents did not let me know you had written. I discovered the letter in my father's papers when he died this past Christmas. My mother died not long after your first letter arrived. I wrote to you at once, but the Postmaster in Green River returned my letter stating you had moved and left no forwarding address.

  I never agreed with my father's decision to disown Bea and drive her and Thomas away, but I was posted in Texas when it happened. Neither Mother nor Father would ever discuss it beyond saying that no daughter of theirs was going to marry a dirt farmer. I had no idea where you were living or I would certainly have maintained contact.

  I am currently residing in Maryland just outside of Washington as I am attached to the War Department. I have recently been restored to the rank of Brigadier General (having held the rank temporarily during the War). My wife of twenty years passed away a year ago.

  Since we were not blessed with children, you and your sister are my only remaining family. It would please me greatly if you and your daughter would join me in Washington. I will also gladly accommodate your stepson if you have not returned him to his father. In addition to a too long overdue meeting, I would value your services as my official hostess. In this Centennial year there are many functions with which you could assist me.

  Please write or wire me with your decision and I will happily wire you the train fare necessary.

  Your reluctantly long-lost Uncle,

  Darren Maxwell,

  Brig. Gen'l., U.S. Army

  ADELE SHOWED the letter to the Duneagans as soon as she finished reading it. Her face glowed with the first genuine smile they had seen since she returned to Green River.

  "It's amazing after all these years to discover I have an uncle I've never met--and who welcomes me just like that. I'm so glad you suggested I try to write again. Thank you."

  "Will you go?" asked Duneagan.

  "Right this moment I can't think of any reason not to. There's nothing keeping me here...."

  "Except some vague hope your husband will remember you're married to him and will come looking for you here."

  Adele's smile faded. "Yes, that. Of course I would write Susannah as soon as I was settled. She wrote me that Stephen bought them a house. At least I don't worry about her happiness with Stephen. He is the best thing that ever happened to her. But I really no longer hold any hope for myself. Bea will have a good life in Washington. From the tone of his letter, I have no doubt my Uncle Darren will spoil her terribly."

  "Well, I guess that settles things," said Duneagan. "If you want, I have to go to telegraph office to wire my broker in Chicago. I'll take a telegram to your Uncle for you."

  Adele's telegram to Darren Maxwell read:

  HAPPILY ACCEPT STOP CAN TRAVEL TO WASHINGTON ONE WEEK FROM TODAY STOP UNLESS SOMETHING CHANGES IN NEXT SEVEN DAYS WILL BE MYSELF AND TWO CHILDREN STOP ADELE STODDARD.

  DUNEAGAN'S telegram to Susannah Stoddard read:

  ADELE LEAVES FOR WASHINGTON ONE WEEK FROM TODAY UNLESS THAT SORRY EXCUSE FOR A HUSBAND COMES FOR HER STOP DO SOMETHING STOP SEAN DUNEAGAN.

  Sean Duneagan was not sure how long it took to get from San Francisco to Green River by train. He only hoped it was less than a week.

  Chapter 18

  "PENNY FOR your thoughts," commented General Darren Maxwell.

  "I'm just thinking how exciting Washington will be next month when we celebrate the national Centennial, Uncle Darren. The children will love it."

  "There'll be quite a social whirl, especially in government circles. Do you think you'll be able to handle everything?"

  "I'll make do," Adele commented, "I always have."

  She leaned back against the squabs in General Maxwell's carriage and closed her eyes.

  It had been quite an unusual meeting--could it have been only a month ago? Darren Maxwell had been a revelation to Adele. Her vague memories of her mother's face were brought into focus in him. He had the same brandy brown eyes as Adele and Susannah. His hair, now liberally streaked with white at age forty-eight, had been the same sable color. He also answered the question of Adele's exceptional stature, since he was six feet eight inches of lean cavalry muscle, honed by thirty years in the saddle until his recent posting to Washington. In his dress uniform he was an imposing, impressive figure, exuding controlled power. He was bearded as was his commander-in-chief, President Grant, which only added to his magnificent image.

  Ironically, privately Darren Maxwell was a jovial and compassionate man. He had risked his political career and had delayed his repromotion to General during Reconstruction by administering his district with a just hand rather than a punitive one. As a Marylander, he was aware of the divided loyalties of Washingtonians and border staters and had no use for extending the misery of the conquered South.

  His only regret during his life was that his Lorena and he had been childless. If he was welcoming to the sudden existence of his sadly rootless elder niece, he was ecstatic about the presence of his little grandniece and her half-brother and delighted them with stories about his "adventures" in the Cavalry, although Adele was aware that these "adventures" were considerably expurgated to eliminate the death and destruction that are a soldier's constant companions.

  Adele tried not to think in terms of time anymore. Since there ha
d been neither telegram nor letter with instructions regarding Joshua--and the little boy did threaten to run away from anyone she might hire to bring him home to San Francisco--Adele had brought him along.

  FINALLY, SHE SAT Joshua down and told him about Brian Strange and Blair's missing two years. She told him that Beatrice was truly his half-sister, which pleased the little boy no end. Her only excuse to herself was that she was his stepmother and had some right to keep him with her, at least until his father decided to do something about it.

  Joshua never questioned why his father did not send for him. He was happy enough staying with Adele and Bea. And now he also had Uncle Darren, who promised him a pony and a tutor. They were the only family he wanted now. Even the lingering sadness over his mother's death seemed to disappear in this happy house.

  Adele maintained her decision to return to using her maiden name of Stoddard. She felt no real right to call herself Adele Carroll and she knew that she could no longer maintain the fiction of being Adele Strange.

  Stephen wired her money as soon as he had her address, but said nothing about Blair or Joshua. He and Susannah both wrote to her, but talked only of each other, their wedding plans and general news of San Francisco. Of Blair, they wrote nothing.

  From Blair himself there was nothing but silence. Not about Joshua and not about anything else. Adele almost wished he would write her and tell her to go to the devil. Missing him was marring her chance at contentment.

  Darren Maxwell's first action was to refurbish their wardrobes. It was evident that the females' simple calicoes and Joshua's limited choices were insufficient for Washington society. The expense was no concern. The Maxwells were a very wealthy family and the general was the sole inheritor of a huge estate. He also set up a trust fund for Beatrice to educate her or dower her or support her in any way she needed.

  For Adele, who had never owned a store-bought garment until she had gone to work for Donelli, to have a stylish dressmaker and her assistants rush through measuring and stitching to make her gowns in the latest fashions and in rich jewel colors and fabrics which made her skin and eyes seem to glow was an unimagined luxury. House gowns, day frocks, evening and ball gowns with custom-made shoes to match. Little hats decorated with feathers and flowers and gloves that were made to fit her long-fingered hands completed her wardrobe. It was coming summer--and Washington would be a steam bath soon enough, so coats and wraps could wait, but the image that stared back at Adele from the mirror was of a sophisticated woman. It is possible Adele was as shocked by her appearance the first time she saw herself fashionably dressed as Blair had been the first time he saw himself upon returning to San Francisco.

  "So, the country mouse becomes a town mouse," had been Maxwell's comment on seeing her fashionably dressed for the first time. "This is how you should look all the time, Adele."

  "I can hardly recognize myself," Adele commented.

  "You're a beautiful woman," her uncle responded. "I can see it, even if that ne'er do well you married couldn't."

  "Please, Uncle Darren. It was my mistake to fall in love with a man with no memory. I was a fool to forget he would have a life out there that had nothing to do with me. Then, when I could have easily told him who I was and what he was to me, I stood back and kept silent." Adele sighed. "I guess I brought on my own unhappiness. Still...." she trailed off.

  "You love him."

  Adele nodded. "More than my life, whether he deserves it or not."

  ADELE MADE DO. She worked hard to adapt to the social life in the nation's capital. Even the first meetings were easier than Adele expected. General Maxwell was proud to introduce his soft-spoken niece to Washington matrons. She was a gracious, if quiet, hostess and a sought-after guest. Adele always figured it was because most of these women had never met a real pioneer woman and were interested in the details of farm life, because her private story she kept to herself.

  Her skill as a hostess seemed to have been an inherent trait because she certainly had no experience. If people were expecting a rustic, she surprised. Some San Francisco must have rubbed off.

  Adele was glad to find out she could do something besides sew. But even in that, she became a popular hostess and guest. Though the quilts they made were a far cry from the decorated but basically utilitarian quilts of her growing up, Adele's skills with a needle quickly allowed her to participate in the ladies' circles that made these beautiful covers. A new circle of friends developed. Adele realized how isolated her life had been and relished the camaraderie she was discovering.

  The children were something special as well. Beatrice and Joshua were growing by leaps and bounds. Bea was toddling around and talking more and more. Joshua was Bea's constant companion, taking more time than would ever be expected of a six-year-old to play with her and talk to her. On more than one occasion, Adele would look into the bedroom that had been converted into a nursery for them and hear Josh singing lullabies to Bea at her nap time. His childish voice was sweet and clear and he loved to sing. The lullabies were his only inheritance from Cherry Leval and he shared them unselfishly.

  Both children called her Mommy now--and although hearing it from Josh was a wrenching reminder of Blair, she did nothing to dissuade him. He was a symbol both of what she had lost--and what she had gained. She realized she could not love Joshua more if he was her own blood kin.

  ADELE AND Uncle Darren were returning from a War Department reception committee meeting where plans for Centennial celebrations were in progress. Since military activity in the West fell under the War Department aegis, there was also plenty of gossip about recent Plains Indian hostilities. The general consensus was that the cavalry commands under such leaders as General Custer would make short work of these unlettered savages, and then Custer would use his glory to ride into the White House.

  Adele was looking forward to getting back to the comfortable house her uncle owned. The gossip and chatter had given her a headache. She was still not completely comfortable in heavily perfumed crowds, though she was getting better at it daily. Even in San Francisco she had lived a quiet and isolated life. Her positions as tailor and then governess had pretty much mandated a quiet life.

  All Adele wanted to do was get back to the children. A letter from Susannah had arrived in the post just as they were leaving. She and Stephen should have been married by now--Adele was sorry to have missed it.

  The housekeeper answered the door as General Maxwell and Adele arrived home.

  "General," she began, "there's a gentleman waiting in your study to see you. And a parcel came for you, Miss Adele. I took the liberty of putting it in your room along with your letter."

  "Thank you, Mrs. Greene. Uncle Darren, I think I'll go upstairs and read the letter from Susannah, and see what that parcel might be."

  "Of course. You've been thinking about that letter all day, haven't you?"

  "Well, until we found each other, Susannah's been my only family. I've missed her terribly."

  Darren kissed her on the cheek. "Go up and read your letter. I'll see what my caller wants. I know you'll probably want to spend some time with the children before you dress for dinner anyway."

  Adele slightly lifted the skirts of her sapphire blue and white striped chintz day gown and hurried up the stairs.

  General Maxwell unconsciously brushed down the front of his uniform tunic and opened the door to his study. He took one look at his nervously pacing visitor and immediately effected his command facade. The visitor stared at the first man ever to make him feel short and the color fled behind his bronzed face.

  Darren walked over to the sideboard and poured two glasses of whisky. He handed one to his visitor, but noted that the man set the glass down untouched. He glared down at him and stated, "I am General Maxwell, Adele's uncle, and I believe I know who you are, sir. But perhaps you want to tell me precisely what you want...."

  ADELE TOOK THE letter and the parcel from her room and went into the nursery. Josh was there, playing with Bea, tryin
g to teach her, somewhat unsuccessfully, to count to ten on her fingers. Too young to comprehend, Bea merely aped, and soon both children were laughing on the carpeted floor, with Adele laughing along. Little Gent was curled up on the hearth. Occasionally he opened his eyes halfway and then returned to sleep.

  "Kids, I've a letter from Aunt Susannah. You want to hear?"

  Joshua immediately sat down at the foot of the rocking chair attempting to hold the squirming Bea in his lap and embrace.

  "Josh, you'd better let Bea go. She's too little to sit still for long. She'll sit down eventually."

  After sitting down in the rocking chair, Adele opened the envelope and read:

  Dear Sissy,

  I can't believe you've discovered Ma's brother like that! How wonderful to know she wasn't forgotten. I hope one day Stephen and I can go to Washington or Uncle Darren can come to San Francisco so we can meet. I also would love to get him down on paper.

  "Of course," Adele interjected, "meet your uncle and draw him."

  Speaking of drawing, I've started to take some lessons in painting with watercolors and oils. My teacher says I have plenty of talent--just need some experience. I like watercolors better; they are almost as fast as pencil and charcoal. He thinks once I've painted just a short while, he will be able to get me an exhibition. Of course, it won't hurt to be Mrs. Stephen Carroll to open a few doors. I've begun to fully realize the power this family has in business and social circles, even with the scandal involving Stephen's father and his mistress.

  Our new house is almost ready, probably done by the first of July. We've decided to postpone the wedding until it is. I'm living at Mrs. O'Bannion's (for propriety sake) until we're married. I don't want to live apart from Stephen, but neither do I want to begin married life in Blair's house.