Giving In (The Sandy Cove Series Book 1)

by M. R. Joseph

  I’ll admit, keeping my hands to myself on the walk home is difficult, but I do it, and don’t think for one minute I don’t have a million dirty thoughts about what I want to do to her when we get home. I just want to be close to her, so here’s my arm around her shoulders, her arm around my waist, and the two of us are as giddy as kids at a carnival. The last few blocks we sprint. We race to the top of the wooden steps, into the house, and as soon as I fling open the door, I grab her and thrust my tongue in her mouth, devouring, tasting her. Hands are in hair, tugging. My hands fly to touch her breasts. I touch them slowly, and then pick up my pace. I can feel her nipples harden beneath my thumb. Her hands are caressing the crotch of my jeans, which quickly turns intense, bordering on God damn obscene. She’s so fucking hot.

  But this isn’t what I want. It’s how we got here in the first place.

  I take a step back from her, and I notice the confused look on her face.

  “Turnip, this isn’t what I want.”

  The confused look is now replaced with one of dread and sadness, and I think I just said the wrong thing. Well, I said the right thing, I just said it the wrong way.

  Am I already on my way to fucking this up?

  Grabbing her sweet face in my hands, I pull her body closer to mine. She’s a bit frigid, so I rest my forehead against hers.

  “I didn’t mean it that way. I mean I want to slow this down, not rush it, although I want nothing more than to rip off your clothes and devour you. But not here, not like this.”

  And I mean it. She’s too special just to throw on my bed and fuck.

  She relaxes, her body softening, and I feel the relief release from her. I bring my lips to hers, taking them softly, and placing kisses across her jaw to her neck, concentrating on a spot behind one of her ears. I grab her lobe and nibble on it, sending chills throughout her body. She shudders and sighs.

  “I want you so much it hurts.”

  When I tell her that, she moans softly and her hands roam my body, making me so much harder than I already am.

  “I have to tell you something, Cruz.”

  I continue my assault on her neck, and whisper in her ear, “Tell me.”

  “I got a job.” I don’t stop what I’m doing because I’m so consumed with her taste, her smell, her warmth.

  “That’s great… So proud of you.”

  I reach her lips and peck gently on them, as I place my hands on her hips.

  “There’s something else.” She dips her face and begins to mirror what I just did to her neck, her jaw, her ear.

  “What’s that?” I say back.

  “You did too.”

  I pop my head up, not really understanding or hearing what she just said.

  I pull away from her, but just enough to still be looking at her face.

  “What do you mean I got a job too?”

  She smiles, and she grazes my jaw bone with her fingers.

  “Your Captain called Max when he couldn’t get a hold of you and told him there’s an immediate opening for a full time position on Sandy Cove’s force. You, Officer, are no longer a rent-a-cop.”

  Well, I’ll be damned.

  I pick up her tiny body and swing her around, making her laugh and squeal.

  “I got a job and you… You got a job, and we can…”

  Wait. I got a job here and she got a job…

  “Where did you get a job at, Turnip?”

  Her eyes turn down so her focus is on the floor. I lift her chin with my finger so she’s looking at me. Those adorable freckles in my full view.

  “Home.”

  She got a job at home. Of course, she did. I didn’t expect her to get one here. It’s not her home. Just her summer home. My happiness for her finally getting her dream is replaced with gloom. I just got her, now I have to let her go. I can’t give up this opportunity. Full-time positions are few and far between, and I worked so hard for it, but I worked so hard to let her know my feelings too. I stroke those tiny specks on her cheeks and grin, but it’s not my megawatt one.

  “I know that face, Cruz, and believe me, I’m feeling it too. I realize what this means as well, but I’m not worried. For once, I’m not.”

  “How’s this going to work?”

  She gives me a reassuring smile, kisses my lips with sincerity and tells me, “Because we care about each other, and it’s strong and distance is just going to make us stronger. Then when we do see each other, we’ll savor it. It’ll be like we never left each other’s sides.”

  This woman is so sure of herself, so sure about us, and that’s just another reason why she owns me.

  She fucking owns me.

  “I can hardly stand being away from you for a day, how are we going to make this work? I’ve never done this before.”

  She doesn’t speak. She takes my hand and leads me to the back door, down the steps towards our dock.

  Our place, our sanctuary. It’s where we belong.

  She forces my shoulders down to sit on one of our special chairs, and she slips off her shoes one by one… Slowly. Her legs straddle mine, and I can feel the heat between her legs on my jeans, and it’s amazing. Her vanilla scent engulfing my senses, the way her hair feels as it grazes my arm, tickling my flesh. She begins to rub herself on my lap, wrapping her hands around my neck, biting and licking the skin on it. Her faint breath in my ear as she reassures me there’s nothing to worry about.

  “I need you to listen to me, Cruz. I think I know you better than you know yourself, and you will be fine. Trust me, trust in us, and let’s make the most out of what time we’ll have out of this. Let’s let it all fall into place and see where the rest goes. I’m going to be the risk taker this time. You’ve taught me that. I knew it from the first time you made me stick my toe in the water.”

  Her words melt into me, and already she’s turning me into something I’d never thought I’d be: a pussy.

  “I’m going to give as much of myself as I can for now, Turnip. This is so new for me, but this feeling is addictive, and I don’t want it to end, so yea, let’s just dive in, and see what happens.”

  She kisses my lips and nods. “Agreed,” she whispers against my mouth.

  The tension rolls off of me, and we go back to kissing… A lot. Her hand wanders across my stomach, lifting my shirt, touching my skin, and it feels so good. I can hardly stand it. Just her touch can send a million, tiny electrical waves through me, one inch at a time.

  The friction of her middle rubbing against the crotch of my jeans is painful, but pleasurable, and I want her. I need to take her.

  Now.

  I inch up her shirt, feeling the smoothness of her belly on my fingertips as I lift the shirt and pull it over her head. I throw it to the side as her tits practically pour out of the black lace bra that holds them against her. I give her a look as to ask if it’s ok I continue. Her eyes say yes so I unhook it from behind. Her gorgeous nipples exposed to me, erect, almost begging for my mouth on them, and that’s what I do. One at a time, suckling on each one, stroking them with my tongue while I hear her subtle moans. Her hands still linked behind my head, but her head is thrown back, exposing her long neck to me. I release a nipple and attack her neck, licking the salt from it, tasting her, feeding on her, wanting more.

  “I’ve waited so long for this, Turnip. A year and a half is a long time to go without having you.”

  She looks into my eyes, and says with the seductive look of probably the sexiest woman I have ever seen, “Well then, what are you waiting for?”

  And that’s all the ammo I need to take her, and finally be inside of what’s mine. The one thing that has turned my calm little world upside down in a matter of months.

  I lift her up, cupping her ass in my hands, and with one of them, I tug down her shorts, exposing her black panties. Underneath is my heaven. I’ve had it before, but now it’s different. It’s not a stranger I’m about to fuck, it’s the girl who rules my world.

  I don’t know how I do it, but I
manage to keep her up with my one arm and slowly trace the outline of her already wet panties with the other. Anticipating what’s beneath them.

  “Touch me, Cruz. I can’t take it anymore. I need you to touch me.”

  I slip my fingers along the hem and feel her wetness there, begging for me, so I give her what she wants, what she needs, what I need.

  “Oh, God.” She moans as my fingers invade her. Her grip on me is strong, and for being so small, it surprises me. I watch her face as my fingers dip in and out of her, picking up my pace as I watch her fly over the edge, and it’s fucking gorgeous, and she’s mine.

  Her breathing is rapid, my fingers are wet with her release, and now I need to feel her all over me.

  I sit back down in the chair, leaving her standing there naked, the moonlight reflecting off the bay’s water, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so beautiful in my life. Her perfect face. Her long hair hanging over her shoulders just touching the outline of her gorgeous tits. I slowly pull down my pants, my cock springing out. I reach for a condom, slide it on and pull her onto me without warning. I impale her, getting the feel of her around me. The heat coming off her pussy, her skin against mine, making me hotter than I think I’ve ever been, feeling so much, almost to the point where I want to weep. And why do I feel this way?

  Because I feel. I feel something this time. Not just to get off like my normal ways, but I feel things inside for her, I never knew I was capable of. I try to take my time, her body rising and falling onto my cock. Slowly, she takes me in, inch by inch, but the feeling is so magnificent that I’m not so sure I’ll hold out much longer. Our lips hardly move from one another and the sounds of flesh against flesh are savored, because it feels too damn good, and I don’t want it to end.

  “I’m going to come, Turnip, hold on to me ok?”

  She nods, unable to speak, and that’s something I find most sexy. She can’t even speak.

  I raise her up and down on me a few more times, gripping her hips and kneading my fingertips into her skin. I can feel the corners of her bones under my palms as I come like I think I never have before.

  That’s a lie. If memory serves, I did, a year and a half ago. You don’t forget something like that. Her body falls against mine, and there are no words, only pants and breathy sounds coming from both of us. I hold her close to me, not wanting to let her go… Never.

  “I leave Monday.” She tells me, making me want to hold her closer than I already am.

  “Tomorrow is Sunday already.”

  Silence. Only silence. Harlow climbs off of me and dresses. She tells me not to worry, but her lack of words makes me think otherwise. I get dressed and stand beside her. I wrap my arms around her waist, and we look out on the moonlit bay.

  “Come on.” I nudge her. “Let’s get some sleep.”

  We make our way back to the house and to my room. We don’t bother to undress. We just crawl under the sheets, and I put my chest against her back. Our legs are tangled together at the ankles, knees twisted and locked between one another, and it’s the most unusual, but most satisfying feeling I think I’ve ever felt. I’m liking this. As I wrap my arms around her shoulders and gently rub the silk-like strands of her hair that fall on them, I hear the change of her breathing, and I know she’s fast asleep.

  But as tired as I am, I don’t want to waste any time sleeping when I have her with me now, because I know in twenty four hours, she’ll be gone.

  And it’s not fair, but I have to believe this will work. It has to, because if I lose her like I have lost so much in my life, this time I don’t think I’ll recover.

  ***

  CHAPTER 13

  Believe

  Harlow~

  As I stand on this dock, knowing that I won’t be back anytime soon, I think about the last twenty four hours and the last eight weeks and all that has taken place. I have the heart of a man who I despised at one time, almost to the point of making me physically ill. But that’s in the past because here we are hugging and kissing like it’s the end of the world, and it will be the last thing we ever do. How did I not see this coming before? Dr. Goldberg tried to tell me. Craw tried to tell me. Was I that close-minded that I didn’t realize my feelings? Yes… Yes, I was, but now that’s unimportant. He has me. I’m his. He is mine.

  Yesterday was a blur, well a good blur. The majority was spent in his bed, (I’m not complaining because there was no place else I wanted to be) with the exception of a walk on the beach, and dinner with the gang before Willow and I leave Sandy Cove and head back to Princeton to start our new jobs. Exciting as it is, the bittersweetness of it all has replaced that. Leaving me with a feeling I have had in the past. One I’m not a fan of.

  Dread.

  Even when I was with Chad, and he would go away on his trips with his buddies to Cabo, or on a golf trip with his dad, I knew what was going to happen once he left, he’d cheat. For some odd reason beyond anything I can comprehend, I don’t feel that way leaving here and leaving Cruz. He asked why I was crying at Jax the other night when I was talking to Chad. I told Cruz how Chad wanted me back, and he kept telling me over and over again how no one else would love me. How there was no one else who could make me feel the way he does. How no one would ever want me like he does. When I told Cruz our conversation, he was angry, but told me these exact words: Chad’s words couldn’t be farther from the truth.

  He starts his new job with the Sandy Cove Police tonight. Four, twelve hour shifts with three days off. He will have some weekends off, if he’s lucky, but for the most part, weekends off are a thing of the past, at least for now. Him being the low man on the totem pole and all.

  We discussed that night in the bathroom of Jax last summer. We laughed as he told me when he saw me throw down a few shots of tequila like a drunken sailor, he knew he had to have me. That in turn left butterflies in my belly. He told me he watched me from the time I entered the bar, until we left, even after I rejoined my friends that night of our lovers’ tryst. Cruz told me he replayed that first night over and over again in his head, and when he saw me the night he pulled me over when I arrived here this summer. The whole time he gave me that fake sobriety test, all he thought about was how I made him feel that night, twelve months prior. The pleasure and the sheer rawness of it all.

  I did that to him. I made him feel something. Me. Not the other way around. I’ve never made anyone want me, or need me like Cruz needs and wants me. A temporary distraction inside a bar bathroom has brought us to this. I never want to let him go. I know I have to start my future, but I feel like Cruz may be a part of that future, that’s how much I care for him. I’ve soaked his shirt with my tears. I’ve lost so much and leaving him now scares me, but I have to believe that this will work. I can’t say the words I love him to him, not just yet. I’m pretty sure I do love him. Actually there’s no doubt, because the dread I feel leaving him is overwhelming and you just don’t feel the way I do when you just ‘like’ someone. I haven’t been in love for so long, and I’m not sure I was ever in love with Chad. He ruled me with an iron fist, and not in a good way. He ruled me by telling me what to wear, how to style my hair, what color it should be, not to be a teacher because I wasn’t smart enough, never good enough.

  I was just never enough for him, but I kept going back for more, and it ended with me almost ending my life.

  I love how strong Cruz is. How he calms the raging sea of emotions I constantly have, but how is he going to do that almost three hours away? We will video chat, it’s been discussed. He will check his schedule and the first weekend he has off, he’ll come to Princeton to see me. It won’t be for a while, but I’m hoping how the old saying goes ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ is true to life. This will be an unexpected journey, one I’m willing to take with him, because like he said to me a few days ago, he needs me in his life, and he doesn’t want to live it without me in it. I believe him because I feel the same way.

  We walk to my already packed car after I
hug the guys and Thea goodbye. I’ll see the girls and Porter more than I’ll see Max. Willow is M.I.A. and I’m wondering where she ran off to.

  “So I’ll check tonight and see when my next days off are. Even if it’s a Sunday, I’ll drive to see you and spend as much time with you as I can. Every chance I get I’ll come to see you, but absolutely I’ll be there for Greta’s wedding on New Year’s Eve.

  It’s hard to fight back the tears as he tells me these things, ‘cause for a while it will be hard, but I’ve had to deal with worse.

  A lie I’ll keep telling myself until we are together again.

  Willow comes out of the house, followed by Max.

  Max?

  Yea, ok, whatever.

  I reluctantly pull away from Cruz after a long, searing kiss that I’ll not soon forget. I know as I drive away, I’ll still be able to taste him on my lips and feel his fingertips weaved in my hair.

  “Trust in us, Turnip, believe in us and everything will be ok.” He points to his heart. “You’re in here, and there’s no way you’re getting out.”

  I swipe at my tears and laugh. “I thought you weren’t going to be mushy and stuff.”

  He chuckles against my ear. “I’m not ‘cause I think your ass looks big in those shorts. Happy now?” I smack his arm, trying to quickly end this torturous goodbye.

  I get into my car, and Willow goes in hers. My tears are like a river, uncontrolled and raging, and I shake as I slip into the driver’s seat. I grip the wheel, resting my head on it, and he dips his head in the window.

  “You call me from a rest stop. You call me when you want. Hell, call me when you get to the end of the street.” He smiles at me, but I can see the pain in his eyes. This hurts him too, but the big baby won’t admit it. This is the truth of Cruz. Strong like the Marine he is. Soft on the inside where no one else but me can see past the built up wall and the Broadway show he constantly stars in.

  I start the car, and he hangs on my lips as I slowly start to drive away, pecking at them, once, twice, three, four times. Not wanting him to part my mouth, but knowing I have to say goodbye, I gun it, looking at him through my rear-view mirror. Before long he’s a speck of a reflection, and so is my heart. I feel the pain. I feel the emptiness, and I tell myself to believe.