“Relax,” Luke whispered in her ear then pressed his lips to her temple.
She’d have loved to know who at the table had caught that and what their reaction was.
“How was the honeymoon?” Mia asked.
“Oh, yeah,” Hannah said. “I haven’t had a chance to get the details.”
Zach wrapped his arms around his new wife. “There will be no honeymoon detail giving.”
“Eww.” Hannah punched him lightly in the arm. “I’m not looking for those kinds of details. I’m talking about the hotel, the island, the food.”
“Was there food?” Zach asked. “I don’t remember.”
Nora punched his other arm. “Would you behave? It was perfect,” Nora said. “We ate and swam and walked on the beach.”
“That’s not all we did,” Zach said wiggling his eyebrows and leaning into his new wife. “Babies don’t make themselves.”
“What? Are you guys—”
“No. Not yet,” Nora said.
Zach grinned. “Practicing.”
Talk turned to kids. Luke had noticed it didn’t matter how many times they reminded each other or ribbed the other couples for not being able to go a few hours without their kids being the center. They couldn’t help themselves.
Will was cutting a new tooth. Mitchell had developed a bad habit of climbing onto the kitchen table.
“He just stands there and yells,” Hannah said dumbfounded. “He doesn’t try to get anything, doesn’t try to hide it.”
“Sounds like your kid alright,” Luke said.
“I never did that.”
“Yes, you did.”
“Absolutely,” Nick said.
Zach nodded. “Yep. Every day.”
“Ha!” Stephen said grinning and pointing at Hannah. “And you tried to blame it on me.”
When the waitress brought the food, she apparently moved Ava’s beer over so when she went to reach for it, it wasn’t there. Luke must have noticed her groping and slid the bottle until it touched her searching fingers.
“Thanks,” she said softly.
“What about you, Ava?” Nora asked. “Any annoying brothers? Sisters?”
“Just one overprotective brother.”
“I can relate,” Hannah said with an exaggerated sigh.
“I can’t imagine having four. I bet you’ve got some stories. Did one of them teach you to drive?”
The group went silent and Ava’s stomach immediately seized in a panic. She couldn’t see their faces and she hated, hated, this feeling. Was it because their parents had died and hadn’t been able to teach her? She knew Hannah had only been two so she’d hadn’t thought it’d be a sore spot, just a chance for a funny story. But she couldn’t read the room, or the table in this instance.
She couldn’t know whose face had fallen. If there was anger, embarrassment, or sadness. Were they looking at each other or looking at her?
Then she felt Luke’s arm slip around her shoulders, felt his big hand on her neck and the gentle, reassuring squeeze. She’d never been so grateful. He wasn’t going to leave her out there flailing. Before she could think about it, her hand found his muscled, blue jean clad thigh under the table.
“Oh, that’s a long story,” Hannah said. “I didn’t learn to drive until I was older. Just took me a while to work up the nerve.”
Not exactly a lie, Luke thought, and silently thanked his sister. Because no one had taught Hannah to drive, not for a very long time. Being kidnapped and nearly murdered at fifteen had overshadowed getting a driver’s permit. Something else Luke hadn’t been there for. Not at first anyway. And after… Well, it’d been Nick who had stuck close and been there for Hannah’s recovery.
“There are some stories, though,” Zach said. “Like Luke here setting the Nativity on fire.”
“I didn’t set it on fire. I didn’t,” he said again when Ava turned her face to his.
“Here’s the truth, Ava,” Zach said. “All four of us are messing around the Christmas tree, counting presents, shaking boxes, when Luke pulls a lighter out of his pocket and—”
“Nope. Dallas had the lighter.”
“Okay. You stole the lighter from Dallas.”
“I relieved him of it,” he said to Ava. “It was dangerous.”
“How old were all of you,” she asked, smiling.
“I was maybe eight, so the twins were six. Nick was ten.”
“Anyway,” Zach went on. “This nativity was all wood with carved people and animals and Dallas said how when the shepherds were out there with their sheep, they had to build fires to keep warm. And there were already these little bits of straw our mom had put in the manger and scattered around. So one of us—”
“You,” Luke said.
“Okay, maybe.”
“The look on his face is a clear admission of guilt,” Luke said for Ava’s benefit.
“And maybe,” Zach went on. “I made a little pile of the straw, moved the shepherd and a couple sheep to stand around it. I was just going to pretend.”
“Yeah, right,” Nick said, grabbing a cheese laden chip.
“Then Luke flicks the lighter.”
“I’m sure you were all daring him to do it,” Nora said.
“Maybe.” Zach, grinned at his wife. “But Luke flicked it and the thing went up in flames.”
“Nothing ever lights on the first try,” Luke said, shaking his head. “But boy, did it burn.”
“Shit,” Stephen said, laughing.
“Hey, I’ve heard some McKinney stories that make us look like angels,” Zach said.
“We were angels, every one. Just ask my mom.”
“Whatever,” Zach said. “Anyway, we’re all on our stomachs blowing on it, which just made it spread to Mary and Joseph.”
“At which point Dallas said, ‘you’re going to hell for burning Jesus,’ and he starts praying,” Nick said.
“Yeah, and then our sitter comes running in, grabs up the whole thing and chucks it right out the window.”
“And it lands right at my parents’ feet as they’re coming home from a Christmas party,” Luke said.
“Oh, my gosh.” Ava put a hand over her mouth to cover the laugh. “I bet they never left you with a sitter again.”
Mia blew out a breath, and looked at Nick. “We should probably go ahead and rid the house of all fire making capability.”
“Don’t worry, babe,” Nick said to Mia. “I’ll be one step ahead of them at all times.”
“Pfft. It’s three against two,” Zach said. “You better make it five steps.”
“And you, quick as you could,” Luke pointed his beer at Nick. “You told Dad I did it.”
“Hey, I wasn’t about to get blamed for your folly.”
“Dallas was already crying, afraid he was going to get his presents taken away, then demanding that we all say the Act of Contrition.” With his arm around the back of Ava’s seat, absently ran a strand of Ava’s hair between his thumb and forefinger took a long drink of his beer as he listened to his siblings.
This was the same bar they’d come to to discuss Stephen, back when they’d decided McKinney was no good for their sister. Same one they’d come to celebrate the death of Zach’s bachelorhood. He didn’t remember ever feeling this at ease.
“And that is why our nativity consisted of a burned-out box and baby Jesus all alone,” Zach said.
“Wait,” Ava said. “How did Baby Jesus survive?”
“Because every year one of us hid baby Jesus until Christmas morning.”
Talking about, thinking about, his parents always brought a bitter twist in his gut and he waited for it to come. But as the story went on, even more exaggerated since the last time it’d been told, he noted the bitterness stayed away.
His brothers’ eyes were bright with good humor as they played the blame game. Even Nick was laughing. And the whole time, he was acutely aware of Ava next to him, her hand still resting on his thigh.
“Okay,” Zach said. “
Time to get serious. Every man for himself or teams?”
“I vote teams,” Hannah said.
“Of course you do,” Stephen said. “That’s the only way you’ll get any points.”
Hannah drove her finger into Stephen’s side as he threw his arm around her.
“I vote girls against boys,” Mia said and the other women whopped their agreement.
“Prepare to lose, men,” Ava said and the women’s cheers died down.
“What?” she asked innocently, knowing for sure they were looking at her this time and knowing why. She liked surprising people. “You don’t think I should play?”
“Of course you should.” Luke was the only one who spoke. “But, um…”
The fear in his voice at a blind woman throwing darts almost made her feel guilty. Almost. “Don’t worry,” she said, smiling. “Just point me in the right direction and I’ll try my best not to hit you.”
They determined the rules and throwing order. When Ava’s turn came, she walked to the board hanging on the wall. She felt around it for the size, measured the height against the side of her body. All of it was standard. She walked off the steps, purposefully passing it by four steps.
Luke caught her arm. Turned her back and set an empty chair to the side of the worn tape on the floor. “There. If you put your left hand here, your toes are lined up just behind the line.”
“Got it.” Ava waited for Luke to place the dart in her hand, then purposely twisted her body and lifted her arm.
“Wait!” The shout came from more than one, but it was Luke who guided her around to face the board.
“Am I all lined up now?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.” She raised the dart, took her aim and let it fly.
“How’d I do?”
“Um…” Throats cleared.
She huffed. “Just tell me how I did, where I was off and by how much.”
Luke walked over to stand behind her. He laid his hands on her waist, out his lips close to her ear. “You don’t have to—”
“Shut up and just tell me where I hit.”
“Okay. Missed the board by two inches to the left.”
“All right. Back up,” she told him. She drew back for another throw and could tell by the sound she’d hit the cork.
“Nice,” Luke said, coming up beside her once more.
“I can do better than nice. Where did I hit?”
“Two inches below center, almost dead on.”
She threw for a third time, heard it hit then the female squeals and shocked, male curses behind her.
Luke grabbed her around the waist, lifted her off her feet. “Holy shit. It’s dead center. You hit it dead center.”
“Really?” She could practically see the shocked expressions and laughed. “Beginners luck I guess.”
“That’s amazing!” Hannah grabbed her in a hug. “We’re going to kill you guys!”
“Damn impressive,” Nick said.
“I think we’ve just been hustled,” Zach added with a grumble.
With a modest smile, Ava lifted her beer, took a long drink.
Luke snaked an arm around her waist, and pulled her a few feet away from the group. “You want to explain that?”
“I’ve played a lot of darts.”
“Really?”
Luke held her close, his back to the group, blocking their view when he lowered his head and pressed his mouth to hers. It wasn’t much of a kiss, but her hands were on his shoulders, his scent and the faint Tate of beer on his tongue made for a heady few seconds.
“My uh… My brother had a dart board in the basement and he taught me. Thought I should have a party trick. I practiced until it became muscle memory. I don’t always hit the target, but…” She lifted a shoulder. “You didn’t think I could hit it, did you?” She grinned and gave his chest a playful shove. “That’s okay. And don’t feel bad when we win, just do your best.”
18
“I’m going to hit the ladies’ room,” Ava said after they’d played another round.
“I could use the little boys’ room,” Luke said. “I’ll walk you.”
Ava finished drying her hands and pushed against the swinging door. When she didn’t immediately hear Luke, she stopped. With Luke guiding her, she hadn’t brought her cane. Maybe he was still in the men’s room. She turned toward the sound of the open restaurant to her left and took a step.
She liked him. She liked him a lot. And there was no point pretending she wasn’t wondering what it would be like to have his big, work-hardened hands on her again. Maybe this time minus the clothes.
“It’s good to see you, too,” she heard Luke say.
Then a woman’s voice. “I’m so lucky we ran into each other. I have a bone to pick with you.”
“Oh, really? What’s that?”
“We haven’t had our date yet.”
“Oh. I guess I’ve been busy. Lot of work on the cabin.”
“Oh, I know. But it’s been over a week since you promised me dinner.”
A week didn’t seem that long, but from the tone of the woman’s voice she really wanted that date. And a week? That was after she and Luke had gone riding. She felt a little stab of disappointment, and shoved it away.
Ava took another step. The voices were coming from just outside the bathroom area to the right. They must be around the corner. Surely Luke wouldn’t leave her standing there if he saw her.
“How’s Newman?” the woman asked.
“Good.”
Ah. The donated horse Hannah had mentioned. She tried to imagine what this woman looked like. She’d started doing that a lot since Blake. How could she not?
Looks didn’t matter much to a blind person. But as soon as Blake could see her, he’d decide he wanted to be with someone else. Was it what he saw when he looked at her? Or was it what he saw when he looked at someone else?
The memory of it burned in her gut, in her eyes.
“Ava.”
She blinked at the sound of Luke saying her name.
“Ava this is Catherine. Catherine, Ava.”
“Oh, well. It was good to see you, Luke. I’m sure I’ll see you again,” she said, all but purring.
Luke touched Ava’s arm. “Ready for another round?”
“You know, I think I’m ready to go.”
A beat of silence followed before he said, “Yeah. Okay.”
* * *
In the car they mostly rehashed the darts competition, the men coming out the winners but just barely. Luke had the radio on a country station and a man was singing about getting a girl’s name and number.
She hadn’t expected the feeling she’d gotten hearing Luke talk to a Catherine. That stomach ache, homesick kind of feeling. And it wasn’t Luke’s fault, not at all. But she didn’t like it and she didn’t want to feel it. Not ever again.
“Thanks for dinner,” she said as Luke came to a stop in front of her house, put his truck in park, and turned off the engine. “You don’t have to walk me in.”
“I do. And I will. But that’s not why I stopped.” He reached over, slid his hand around hers. “Figured it’d be better to do this here than on your father’s doorstep.”
Before she could react, his mouth was on hers. Warm and smooth. His tongue eased her lips apart. His hands cradled the back of her neck, then slid slowly up and into her hair.
She was breathless and lightheaded when they broke apart and as she fought to catch her breath she recognized the feeling beating through her. It was fear. Fear she could fall for him if she gave him the slightest chance.
She couldn’t go through that again. Couldn’t be sitting in a restaurant listening to her husband talk to a waitress or a friend or a colleague and not wonder if there was more going on. Because she’d known Emily. The three of them had run into each other numerous times in the UN building. How many shared looks had there been between them that she hadn’t seen?
How much yearning and regret that Blake was already
married, that he had to go home with his blind wife at the end of the day?
As much as she liked Luke, wanted him, she couldn’t do it. Couldn’t be with a man and wonder, not with Luke, not with anyone. She’d rather be alone with the empty space than have it filled and then ripped out.
She put both hands to his chest and retreated until her back touched the passenger door. “I had fun,” she said.
“Me, too,” Luke said. “Especially since we won.”
“Mmm. You guys got lucky.” She turned her face from his to the front windshield.
“Why do I get the feeling you’re upset about more than the darts game?”
“What? I’m not upset.”
“Come on, Ava. I haven’t known you long, but you suck at hiding it. You went from calling for a rematch to wanting to go home in five minutes.”
“Okay.” She drew in a deep breath and slowly let it out. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”
“Can’t do what?”
“Nothing. It’s nothing.” And she felt like an idiot for even thinking they were at a point that she needed to put the brakes on. There was nothing to put the brakes on.
“No. Not nothing. What can’t you do and why? Kiss me in my truck? Go to dinner?”
She didn’t want to get into it, but she owed him an explanation. Still, she couldn’t, just couldn’t force herself to say that she didn’t know if he was looking at another woman. Not just looking, but wanting.
And what if he was? She wasn’t here long term, they weren’t exclusive. And that wasn’t the point.
“This.” She motioned between them. “I’m sorry. I like you, a lot. But this can’t go anywhere, not really. And I’m not saying you want it to go anywhere. I’m not saying that at all. I just… We have fun together. I have fun,” she corrected. She wouldn’t assume his feelings. “And we’re friends. In a lot of ways I feel like we get each other, but…” She drew in a nervous breath.
God, she wished she knew what he was thinking. “Are you still awake? Have I talked you into a coma?”
* * *
“Still awake. Not in a coma.” Was she kidding, Luke thought? Like he could go to sleep when he was near her. He could barely blink. He sighed and she winced, obviously feeling his frustration from two feet away.
Waiting On the Rain Page 14
