The Long Way Home: A moving saga of lost family

by Whitmee, Jeanne

  Marie threw all of her energy into her work. Although life was hectic she could see the dream she had never really believed would come true rapidly becoming reality. But she was also being made to realise that there was a price to pay for it all. She missed running the business. Ralph had taken everything over now, insisting that she would never handle the high-powered financial deals that were now necessary. Sometimes she felt herself weakening under the strain and worry of the new life that Ralph had imposed on them all. It was as though the business was gathering momentum to an extent where it was only barely under control. But that was Ralph. That was the way he liked to do everything. He hated standing still.

  Since their marriage Marie had discovered a lot about her husband, not least of which was his temper, which could be triggered off by the slightest thing. In the early days she had tried to stand up to him, but she had soon discovered that it was better not to goad him. Answering back, she had often found herself the butt of that temper and more than once Ralph had lost control and struck her. He was always apologetic afterwards, begging for her forgiveness and bringing her expensive presents or flowers to make up. But Marie dreaded his unpredictable outbursts and had grown used to devising ways of avoiding them.

  Ralph’s life-style had altered radically since leaving the army. He had shaved off his moustache and grown his hair longer. He’d acquired a whole new wardrobe of expensive clothes and invested in a fast sports car which he drove at break-neck speed, insisting that time was of the essence. In business he applied the same breathtaking roller-coasting methods as he did behind the wheel. Sometimes the risks involved frightened Marie, but there was little she could do but close her eyes, hold her breath and pray for good fortune. Ralph’s business methods were all his own. They consisted of a mixture of charm, tenacity and extreme pressure, in that order. But there was no denying that they got results, and in any case, Marie was sure that there would be little point in trying to interfere. Ralph wouldn’t listen to her suggestions any more than he would listen to David’s.

  It had been Ralph’s decision that they would have no children.

  ‘Business and kids don’t mix,’ he told her soon after their honeymoon. She’d been disappointed. Another baby would have helped fill the void left by the twins — a void she could never speak of to anyone, not even David and least of all Ralph. But she had to agree that if they were to build up their hotel chain a young family would only hamper them. Sometimes she longed for a settled home — somewhere to retreat to. She mentioned this to Ralph, thinking that all his years in the army would have made him long to put down roots too. But he only laughed derisively at her.

  ‘Here you are, living in hotels, being waited on and cooked for, having the best food and wine and the most luxurious room in the place,’ he taunted her. ‘A choice of homes in beautiful seaside resorts to move between as the mood takes you. And all you crave for is some cosy little suburban semi where you can mess around in the kitchen in a frilly pinny. You must be mad, woman.’

  He had laughed dismissively and Marie hadn’t brought up the subject again.

  She tried to visit David as often as she could. Since she and Ralph had married he seemed to have grown visibly older. He’d had one or two attacks of severe bronchitis in recent winters, and over the last couple of years walking and climbing stairs seemed to take it out of him. Each time she visited him he seemed a little more frail, though he really wasn’t an old man by modern standards. She mentioned her worries about him to Ralph, but he seemed unconcerned.

  ‘None of us can live for ever,’ he said with a shrug.

  Ralph had never made a secret of the fact that he liked women. Marie had noticed early on that he couldn’t keep his eyes off an attractive woman but the first time she discovered definite evidence that he was having an affair she was devastated. She had taken one of his suits to the dry cleaners and found, in one of the pockets, a letter which could only have been written by a woman with whom he had been on intimate terms. Taxing him with it, she had found him unrepentant.

  ‘So what? It means nothing.’

  Marie held out the letter. ‘But she — this woman — sounds as though she’s in love with you.’

  He shrugged. ‘That’s her problem. I told you, she means nothing to me. There’s only you, Marie.’

  ‘But if what you say is true …’

  ‘Listen, Marie, it’s nothing to concern yourself about. I always come back to you, don’t I?’

  ‘You mean this isn’t the first time?’ she asked.

  ‘It’s not the first and it won’t be the last.’

  She stared at him. ‘Does your father know about this?’

  He laughed. ‘What’s it got to do with him? Look, Marie, I’ve said — I always come back to you, don’t I?’

  She frowned. ‘Suppose I don’t want a husband who sleeps around, Ralph?’

  He stared at her for a moment, his eyes hard and angry, then he pulled her to him and kissed her hard. ‘You’ll always need me, Marie,’ he growled. ‘We’re too tied up together, what with Dad and the business, for you to want to run away. You know which side your bread is buttered.’

  Picking her up effortlessly he carried her to their bedroom and began to make love to her, allowing his passion full rein. She sensed that he was angry and finding an outlet for that anger in sex. It frightened her. Violent sex seemed to give him a perverted kind of satisfaction. The involuntary cries that escaped her lips were more of pain than pleasure but as always they only served to heighten his arousal.

  When it was over he refused to let her escape, holding her close in an almost suffocating embrace, her face pressed against his chest.

  ‘You should know by now that I’ve got insatiable appetites, Marie — for everything. For money and power and success. And for sex too. Sometimes I have problems holding back, as I think you know. These little diversions of mine — and that’s all they are — could be thought of as a safety valve, so maybe you should be grateful for them.’ He grasped her chin and forced her to look into his eyes. ‘So shall we forget all about it now? Believe me, my only real concern is us. Evans Hotels are going to be a big success. You’d better believe that.’

  Marie did believe it. What she wasn’t so sure about was the survival of her own self-esteem.

  In the meantime Ralph continued to press his father to hand over the business to him.

  ‘Can’t you see how humiliating it is for me?’ he said, standing over David. ‘How do you think it feels, having to come to you for everything? I’m making the decisions, surely I should be able to sign the cheques too.’

  ‘I’ve told you the answer to that,’ David said. ‘We’ll form a company and you and Marie can be directors. That would make good sense.’

  ‘And who’s going to be managing director?’ Ralph demanded.

  ‘Why — me, of course.’

  ‘And suppose we want to expand even further? Suppose we needed a substantial loan? What bank is going to extend a loan to you at your age?’

  ‘It wouldn’t be to me, but to the company. That’s why it makes sense.’

  ‘But it would mean all decisions being put before board meetings.’

  ‘Yes, it would. Ralph — I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but I do feel that you’re already taking too many of the decisions. This whole thing is accelerating too fast. It’s getting out of hand. We don’t want to run before we can walk. If we’re going to form a hotel chain this is the only way to run it properly.’

  Ralph’s eyes glittered with suppressed anger. ‘And what use do you think you’re going to be as MD?’ he snapped. ‘All you’ve ever run is a tin pot boarding house in Cromer. And you had to get Marie in to help you with that after Megan died.’

  David frowned. ‘Marie and I were doing fine. We were quite content with things as they were.’

  ‘Till I came along, you mean? Well, I’ve got news for you. You might have been quite content, but Marie was fed up with the set up. She told m
e so. She said she felt you were holding her back. I’ve got a lot of time to make up and I intend to go places. How can I do that with you dragging on the reins like some old cart horse?’

  David’s face paled as he stared at his son. ‘It’s thanks to Marie that there was any business at all for you to step into. Maybe I have held her back. All the more reason for her to have a share of the business now, and a hand in making the decisions too.’

  Ralph snorted impatiently. ‘Marie is a woman — with a woman’s limitations. She’s fine on the housekeeping side, but …’

  ‘I’d like you to go now, Ralph,’ David interrupted. ‘Before one of us says something we might regret. I thought when I offered you a job …’

  ‘Ah! I was wondering when you were going to throw that in my face,’ Ralph shouted. ‘All the work I’ve put in on this business, all the grafting I’ve done, and that’s all the thanks I get. All right, I’ll go —’

  He flung out of the room, leaving David shaking. There was something dark in his son’s character that he didn’t understand — something that was almost menacing. Where did it come from? he wondered. Not from him and certainly not from Ralph’s late mother. He seemed to use these browbeating tactics to sweep all before him. And David could see it leading to trouble before too long.

  *

  It was in the winter of 1984 that David had a bad bout of ’flu. It turned to bronchitis and then to pneumonia, which put him into hospital for a few days. The manager of ‘The Marina’ telephoned Marie to tell her about it and once David had recovered enough to come out of hospital, she went up to Cromer to nurse him. She was shocked by his appearance. The flesh seemed to have fallen off him, making the bones of his face prominent and giving him a gaunt appearance. He looked ten years older than his seventy years. Marie felt guilty at not having come to look after him before.

  ‘Why didn’t you let me know how ill you were?’ she chided him gently. ‘Every time I talked to you on the phone, you insisted that you were on the mend.’

  David squeezed the hand that held his. ‘I know how busy you are. There are plenty of people to cater for my needs here.’

  ‘Cater for your needs, but not look after you,’ Marie said. ‘Anyway, I’m here now. And I’m not leaving till you’re on your feet again.’

  He smiled. ‘Well, I won’t pretend it isn’t good to have you here,’ he admitted. ‘It’ll be quite like old times again. Just you and me.’

  She cooked all his meals herself in the kitchen at the flat and kept him entertained with news of the latest hotel Ralph was negotiating for down in Dorset.

  ‘When it’s finished you must come down for a long visit,’ she told him. ‘In fact, it wouldn’t be a bad idea if you were to leave here and come down to Dorset permanently. The cold air from the North Sea can’t be good for your chest in the winter. It’s so much milder down there. Apparently they hardly ever have any snow. What do you say?’

  David gave her a rueful smile. ‘Don’t you think you should ask Ralph first?’

  ‘Ask him? But you’re his father.’

  David shook his head. ‘I must confess, Marie, that I don’t feel much like his father, and I’m sure he doesn’t see me as such. I think I annoy — no madden — him at times.’

  ‘Whatever makes you think that?’ Marie asked.

  ‘He hasn’t told you?’ David looked at her quizzically.

  ‘Not about your annoying him. What has he been saying to you?’

  David sighed. ‘He wants me to hand over to him.’ He ran a hand wearily across his brow. ‘Maybe I’ve acted like a stubborn old man. Maybe I should do as he says. But I wanted you to have a share in the business, Marie. And to be honest I don’t feel ready to hand everything over to him. Not yet.’

  She was disturbed. Ralph had mentioned none of this to her. ‘You mustn’t consider me, David,’ she said slowly. ‘You mustn’t quarrel with Ralph because of me. He’s your son and blood is thicker than water.’

  He reached for her hand and held it tightly. ‘I’ll be honest with you, Marie. You feel much more like family to me than Ralph does. He might be my son but I hardly know him. The worrying part is that the longer I know him, the further apart we seem to get. I worry about his business methods too. We seem to be taking too much on, and since he took over the financial side from you I’m not completely convinced that he does things as ethically as he might. I don’t understand where some of the money comes from. I just hope it’s all above board.’

  Although Marie had her own doubts on this score she had no real way of knowing. Ralph never let her see the books. He confided nothing to her and allowed her only the same salary as the other managers. She didn’t mention this to David, but tried to reassure him. ‘I’m sure Ralph wouldn’t do anything you wouldn’t approve of.’

  ‘Then there’s you.’ David looked into her eyes. ‘You’re not happy, are you, love?’ He waved away her look of protest. ‘No, don’t deny it. I’ve seen the sadness in your eyes. You’re just not the same Marie I used to know.’

  ‘I’m older, David,’ she made a brave attempt at lightness. ‘I’m thirty-one now. I’m not a carefree young girl any more.’

  ‘Let’s face it, love, you’ve never been a carefree young girl, more’s the pity.’ He patted her hand. ‘But I had such high hopes for you and Ralph. I thought he’d be good for you. Take care of you and make you happy. I was so delighted when the two of you married. If I’d known then …’

  ‘All this is in your mind,’ Marie interrupted. ‘You’re having morbid thoughts because you’ve been ill. You’re still tired and low. Off you go to bed now and I’ll bring you a hot drink. At the weekend I’m going to take you back to Hastings with me and keep you there till I’m good and sure you’re fit to be on your own again.’

  *

  David enjoyed his stay in Hastings, and by the time he had departed for Cromer again Marie was satisfied that he was on the way to being his old self. She had enjoyed looking after him, personally cooking his favourite meals — dishes that he himself had taught her to cook in the old days at ‘Homeleigh’. When she drove him to the station and waved him off she felt a pang of sadness. It had been nice to feel needed; so satisfying to see David’s cheeks rounding out again, the firm, healthy flesh filling out his spare frame and the vitality returning into his eyes.

  Ralph had been away for most of David’s visit. As well as combing the coastal resorts for new properties he liked to spend a regular night or two in each of the Evans Hotels, just — as he said — to keep them on their toes. The third time he came home to find his father still there he had expressed irritation at the length of the convalescence. He accused Marie of neglecting her other duties and allowing the staff to become sloppy. He clearly resented the time she spent with David and made sure he received her whole attention whilst he was home, virtually ignoring his father.

  Marie dreaded her father-in-law’s departure, knowing that she would miss him. But by the time David was fit enough to return to Cromer contracts had been exchanged on the Dorset hotel and it was almost time for her to appoint a new manager for the Hastings hotel and travel down to Dorset to take over there.

  She’d never been this far south and the moment she saw the place she fell in love with it. The hotel stood on high ground overlooking the beautiful Studland Bay. The views were spectacular and she set about planning the decor and furnishings with enthusiasm.

  She had already made up her mind that David should make his home here in this tranquil place with its mild climate, and set about the conversion of the top floor into a large apartment with four bedrooms where the three of them could make a permanent home together. Ralph was furious. He argued that half of the top floor rooms could have been made into a smaller manager’s flat, leaving the others free for guests. For once, Marie put her foot down.

  ‘Once your father has moved out of “The Marina” you can do that with the apartment there,’ she said. ‘I want this to be our home, and a home for your father too.
I want to have him where I can keep an eye on him now that his health is failing.’

  To her surprise Ralph had given in and she congratulated herself on making a stand and getting her own way. But Ralph had his own reasons for giving way to her. He told himself that maybe it would be as well to keep the old boy sweet. If he couldn’t make him see sense, maybe Marie’s fussing over him would do the trick. Later, when the time was right, he’d get her to talk him into handing the business over to him. She’d do it. He’d make sure of that.

  ‘The Ocean’ opened three months later, just in time for the summer season. David found the move from Cromer an exhausting upheaval, but once he was installed in his spacious room he had to agree that it was worth it. In the first weeks he and Marie explored the area, enjoying long walks through the chines and along the cliffs. They took most of their meals in the hotel dining room, but sometimes in the evenings Marie would cook for them both in the small kitchen of the flat. Occasionally David would play chef, as he had in the old days, and they would eat at the table by the open window and enjoy the sparkling sea air and the wonderful view of the bay.

  At the weekends when Ralph came David made himself scarce, taking himself off for day-long excursions or keeping to his own room. Ralph refused to eat in the flat. He liked to play ‘boss’; to be seen in the restaurant by staff and guests and to keep an eagle eye on the waiters, making sure that they were not slacking. He insisted that it kept the chef and dining room staff up to scratch, but Marie privately thought that it made them nervous and resentful.

  At the end of August Marie invited Hannah to take a week’s holiday at ‘The Ocean’. Hannah’s work had taken her to the north-east soon after Ralph and Marie were married, and for the past few years she had lived in Newcastle. Although they’d corresponded regularly they hadn’t met for some time. Marie wanted to show off the newest of the Evans Hotels to her friend and she knew that it would please David to be able to renew his longstanding friendship with Hannah too.