New Jersey Yankee In King Arthur's Court

by P McAuley, Robert

  “Find, friend Harold. Tell me, when doth the show begin?”

  “Methinks when the sun dips. Tis then that most seek a sip o’ ale.”

  “So,” answered Merryl looking up at the setting sun, “very soon I would say?”

  “Yes, Wizard Merryl. An’ my young James said he spoke with,” he opened his ten fingers ten times and went on, “this many folks.”

  “Good! And may I ask that we blow out all of the candle except the ones I light?”

  “Lord wizard, it be thine show. It shall be done!”

  “Good,” answered a nervous Merryl as he headed back to the bin, “Very good. Perhaps thou wouldst send James to fetch me when all arrive?”

  “Very well, Wizard Merryl,” answered Harold as he finished setting up.

  Sitting on his bed as he waited for the call, Merryl thought, I’m seeing a transformation, which I’ve witnessed before. Harold went from addressing me as ‘friend wizard’ to bowing and addressing me as ‘Wizard Merryl’. He sat back and recounted, I remember seeing people in my time as they met someone they thought was smarter or in a higher station of life than them and they automatically deferred to them.

  He looked down at his outfit and continued thinking, In Harold’s eyes I went from being a magician to a wizard and I believe that in his eyes a wizard is smarter or in a higher station of life than him. And, he thought as he stood and fluffed out his sleeves, let’s not forget the wizard’s costume. It’s sort of, ‘if you look like a wizard, you must be a wizard.’

  He lay back on the bed and rubbed his eyes as he tried to recall the timeline of King Arthur and his Round Table. Ever since he was a little boy, Merryl felt that when he needed to remember something, by rubbing his eyes he could conjure up the answer, and it didn’t fail him this time as he suddenly sat up and said, “The sword in the stone!”

  Once again the slap of feet on the stone stairs announced the arrival of James.

  “Wizard Merryl! My papa says all be set fer yee.”

  “Are the people here?”

  “Yes,” and he started to flash his ten fingers again. “Many!”

  “James, I want you to go up and blow out all the candles. Just leave the one on your Papa’s desk lit. Yes?”

  “Yes, sire. I be gone.” He ran up the stairs.

  Merryl said to himself as he picked up his lit candle, “Well, here goes nothing and everything.” He walked up the stairs and could hear the shuffling of feet and murmuring of the audience. He held the candle close to his beard and the glow showed every crease and angle of his face. He knew it gave the effect of seeing a ghostly figure. His white skin, gray hair, beard and mustache plus his long, thin white hands gave the effect of floating in the air as his black outfit made his body disappear into the background. His eyes were almost closed as he peeked through his eyelids, once again knowing that from the audience’s point of view, he was walking with his eyes closed. As he had planned, the only other candle lit was on Harold’s desk illuminating Harold, Thomas and James. It was far enough away not to light up his area.

  His few years of being a magician taught him to listen to his audience and this was no different. The crowd was speechless and holding their breath. When he heard a whisper from one of them, it was his cue that he had made them wait long enough, staring at the seemingly floating body parts. He snapped his eyes open and the entire audience gasped. In his wrestler’s voice he boomed out, “What have we here? What brings mere mortals into my sphere?” He spun and pointed at Harold illuminated by his candle and said with a hiss in his voice, “Is it thou, Harold? Be it yee who dost bring mortals here where I rest?”

  Harold’s face went pure white, and as he became the focus of everyone’s attention, Merryl took the opportunity to toss a handful of breadcrumbs rolled into grain-sized pellets into the audience. The crumbs bounced off some of the audience and they screamed thinking an unearthly force was among them. It was the cue for Merryl’s next announcement: “My spirit be flying amongst yee and yee may feel it’s breath as it seeks out the devil himself in case he hides among yee.”

  The shifting and sudden jabbering told him that the people who had breadcrumbs bounced off of them were telling others that his spirit really did come amongst the crowd. Before leaving the downstairs Merryl had stuck a fishhook in his candle close to its top and tied fishing line to it. Now that the crowd finished looking at Harold and chatting about the spirit flying around, Merryl slowly lowered the candle by letting the fish line slip between his fingers and to the audience the candle was floating before he let it sit on the floor at his feet. The gasps told him he had the crowd and by the glow of the other candle he knew that he had Harold and Thomas too. Seeing young James between them he remembered his promise and slowly walked towards him, the eyes of the crowd following his every step. Half way to the boy Merryl spotted a small blond haired girl sitting between a man and woman. She was holding their hands tight and it was obvious it was Katherin and her parents.

  He stopped in front of the small desk and removed his tall hat as he proclaimed in his booming voice, “The innocence of a child tis the most powerful force in the world and as I’ve traveled all over the world I know of only a few. But I was drawn to London by two new ones. Here sits young James, an honorable boy who heeds his father’s advice and helps with his chores.” He placed his hat on the boy’s head and raised his eyes to the ceiling as he said, “Abbra-Ka-Dabbra!” Merryl removed the hat and a garland of yellow and white flowers sat on the boy’s head. The small crowd went wild. He put his hat back on his head and suddenly turned and faced them.

  “And again, right here amongst this fine crowd I feel the presence of the other.” His long legs allowed him to be in front of the girl and her parents in one step and the suddenness of it shocked them into staying motionless. He removed his hat and placed it on the girl’s head as he said, “Behold citizens of London. Here sits Kathrin, a young lady of high standards and beauty and I believe also heeds her mother and father’s advice.” He lifted his hat and the crowd gasped in wonder as a wreath of yellow and white flowers adorned her head.

  Merryl put his hat back on and turned and did a sly wink at James before he continued his walk through the seated crowd. He laughed to himself as they made way for him even in the tight space they filled. He stopped by a teen-aged girl and removed a flower from behind her ear and handed it to her. Next he removed an egg from behind a man’s ear and handed it to his wife as he proclaimed, “He wishes thou to enjoy this for thy morning-meal, m’am.” The stunned man and woman were smiling from ear-to-ear as he moved on. Enjoying his act, Merryl went to a heavy-set woman and removed an egg from her hat. He placed it in her hand and before she could react he cracked it open and a baby chick chirped as it fluffed it’s yellow feathers and walked about.

  The act went on for another fifteen minutes and feeling the time was right, he went back to his starting place, which was denoted by the lit candle on the floor. He started the end of the show by saying with raised arms and eyes, “Dear friends of London. Behold I see a new king coming! A young man of honor! A young man of courage! A young man who would bring yee peace and prosperity.”

  Shouts of: “Who is this man? Where is he? What be his name, Wizard?” came from the audience and Merryl seemed to go into a trance as he answered loudly, “Arthur! His name be Arthur Pendragon, son of King Uther. He shall return to London for the great tournament.”

  Relying on the crowd’s curiosity Merryl stayed quiet and was rewarded by more questions. “Wise Wizard Merlin,” called a man who mispronounced his name, “How will we know that Arthur would be our king?”

  Not stopping to correct the man, Merryl answered with a question of his own, “Is there a great church in London?”

  “Yes, Wizard Merlin,” shouted Kathrin’s mother, “’Tis but up yon hill where we gather fer meetin’s on the Lord’s day.”

  “Then,” answered Merryl, still not about to correct them before he gets across the information he wanted
to leave them with, “in the large church will appear a stone with a sword stuck in it. Anyone who be able to remove the sword would be king. I see this Arthur as the man removing it and becoming, King Arthur!”

  Before they expected any more magic, Merryl took a pinch of his dwindling escape powder and dropped it onto the flame of the candle at his feet, creating a sudden white flash which he knew momentarily blinded the shocked crowd. He turned and disappeared into the darkness and went back downstairs.

  After an hour the shuffling above him stopped and he went back up to the almost empty room.

  “Wizard Merlin!” called Harold who sat behind his desk. Both him and Thomas had a mug of ale in their hands. “Pray, join us as the show went fine.” He poured a wooden mug of warm frothy ale for Merryl and they cheered each other.

  “You say it did fine, friend Harold?”

  “Fine indeed!” said a jubilant Harold as he placed a small purse in front of Merryl. “This be thine.”

  “What, pray tell, be this?” asked a puzzled Merryl.

  “Thine share.” said Thomas. “Think thee that we wouldst not share with thee that which thou hath made possible? Nay! This be thine, an’ methinks Wizard Merlin shouldst do more magic fer the folks o’ London.”

  “More magic?” asked a happy Merryl.

  “An’ not just in me humble abode,” said Harold, “but in the great church as there be much more space fer a larger payin’ crowd.”

  “But, good friends, as I said, I have no knowledge of creating a show. Always it has been my good fortune to have friends who helped to do that part.”

  “Then,” answered Harold as he slapped Thomas on his shoulder, “Yee be in good fortune again, Wizard Merlin, as friend Thomas an’ meself wouldst gladly help yee in that respect.”

  “An’ me too, sire.”

  Merryl turned and saw James entering the room. He held the wreath as he spoke, “Yee did what yee said wizard, an’ Kathrin be sweet on me fer ya magic.”

  A smiling Merryl answered, “Friends, if yee be willin’ ta show me the way, I shall perform my magic.” Then taking advantage of the mispronouncing of his name and knowing that there was a magician named Merlin the magician, he added as he looked out the small distorted glass window at the stars, “And from this moment on I be known as Merlin the Magician.”

  The light of the same stars glistened off Arty as he left the cool water of the small watering hole. He arched and rubbed his back and then threw the large soft towel around himself as he settled on the grass.

  “Arty?”

  “Who’s that?” said Arty as he pulled the towel tight.

  “It’s just me,” answered Jennie as she came out of the shadows of the trees and into the soft moonlight. “I thought you might need this,” she said as she pulled a cork from a stone jar and showed it to him.

  “What is it?”

  “Smell it,” she said putting it in front of his face.

  He took a deep sniff and said, “Wow! That’s nice. What is it?”

  “Lay on your stomach and relax.”

  “But, ah, I have nothing on beneath this . . .”

  “Lay still,” she ordered as she pulled the towel away from his upper back. “Here,” she said as she rubbed a handful of the sweet smelling contents of the jar on his shoulders.

  “Oh, man,” he said as he felt the heat of the jell she rubbed on his back penetrate his muscles. “That feels great. Where did ya get it?”

  “One of the girls. She used to rub it on one the knights when she was part of his entourage.”

  They both were quiet for a while and then she said, “I figured you’d be needing some when I saw you down behind the hill this afternoon.”

  “You saw me?” he asked with a shudder she felt through his muscles.

  “Yes, and I think it’s very brave of you to do that.”

  “Well, when I saw you ride the horse, I figured, maybe I’ll give it a shot too.”

  “Well, it’s for sure that Ron is a patient trainer.”

  “He’s a good guy and he said he won’t tell anyone about giving me horseback riding lessons . . . or me falling off the horse.” He turned his head and looked at her with a look of awe on his face as he said, “Do you see how big them horses are? I mean, like in the movies the cowboy just jumps on their back and ride away. Well, let me tell you: It ain’t that easy. They are scary!” He put his face back down into his crossed arms and mumbled, “I gotta hand it to ya, Jennie, when I saw you riding that horse I got jealous.”

  She slapped his bare back, “Silly! You don’t have to be jealous of me . . . or anyone else for that matter. I took a few lessons from one of the girls and was scared breathless as I rode up that hill to see you guys.”

  “Yeah? Well let me tell ya. All those guys were very, very impressed. And so was I.”

  “Well, Arty, I think it’s a very good thing that you are learning to ride. Especially if Merryl is right about us staying here.”

  “Ah,” said Arty as he started to turn over, “can you rub my chest?”

  She slapped his back playfully and said, “I’m only rubbing your back and shoulders because I know you can’t reach there. But I’ll leave the rest of the jell here for you. Good night, Arty, sweet dreams.” Before he knew what had happened she kissed him on his lips and quickly got up. “Do you like the blackberry lipstick? It’s something I made up myself.” She scampered away laughing as Arty tried to coax her back.

  “Wait, hey Jennie, ah, c’mon back and finish. My shoulder still hurts like mad,” he said as her laughing trailed off into the night. “Darn!”

  Merlin sat next to Thomas in his wagon the next morning. Harold and James rode in the rear as the two men and boy took the wizard up to the church where he knew history was made when Arthur pulled the sword from the stone. Harold knew the priest in charge of the church and he was more than willing to allow the show to go on, especially when told his church would share in the profits. He was out on an errand but left him the keys to the two massive wooden doors. The building was huge and made of timber and stone with two rows of wooden benches down the center, one hundred on each side of the aisle. At the front was a high stone altar with heavy, dark tapestry hanging on either side of it. Merlin was glad to see that there was a dressing area behind the tapestry where the priest usually dressed and he could set up his toys.

  The wizard spent the next two hours planning his great show as Thomas and Harold walked through town shouting of the upcoming magic show. They were happy to find that word of the first show had spread already.

  Merlin meanwhile was briefing young James of the certain props he needed and the boy was gathering, baby chicks, a rabbit, five doves and a loaf of bread to be turned into the crumbs or flying spirits. Merlin told the boy only enough to help and never revealed his magic as tricks. The wizard cased the place and made mental notes for the placement of the sword and stone.

  Finally, at the end of the lunch hour, the four returned to the small boarding house to await the dark of night and Merlin used the time to set his magic toys up and practice using them.

  Jennie and the three girls watched as Arty and the Keansburg boys took turns riding the three horses while dressed in full armor. She was secretly pleased to see that Arty was fast becoming a good rider. A boy came running over the hill that separated the camp from the road. He was out of breath when he stopped in front of Arty who had just got of his white horse, Dragon.

  “Sire,” he said as he panted. “That way,” he said pointing over the hill, “on yon road. Cometh many folks an’ they be singing songs.”

  “Are there knights with them?

  The boy shook his head no, and went on, “Methinks not. There be plenty o’ horses but no knights.”

  Arty removed his helmet as he said to the group, “It could be a trap of some kind. Maybe the knights removed their armor to get in close amongst us or something.” He thought a moment.

  “Keansburg gang, grab some of the guys and go to the other
side of the road. It’ll be the ‘sticks and stones’ signal if it goes bad. And guys first ditch the armor. We can get around easier without it.”

  The Keansburg gang removed their armor and took twenty of the guys across the hill to the other side of the road as Arty took the rest out in the road to face the new challenge.

  “Man, “ said Ron, “as yee say, sire, this be getting old.”

  Arty broke up laughing at this and said, “Boy, Ron, ya sure know how ta shock a guy.”

  A perplexed Ron stared back and said, “Gadzooks, sire. Thou art steadily saying things ta me that doth baffle me head.”

  “Ha,” said Arty slapping his back, “It just means you’re cool and I like that about you.”

  Ron simply shook his head in bewilderment.

  “There they be, sire,” shouted a boy from up on a tree limb.

  Arty nodded as he saw them coming up the dirt road. “Wow!” he said as he shook his head, “There’s got to be a hundred of them and they all seem to be singing. This could get ugly real fast.”

  A few minutes later the large group stopped about twenty-feet away from Arty and his gang. A short, stocky boy on a large gray horse raised his hand and waved at them. Arty waved back and the young man got off his horse and stood ten feet away from them.

  “Friends, I be Francis of Coppleton. Me an' mine friends heard of yee an’ seek ta speak with ya. Wouldst thou be agreeable to that, friend?”

  “I be Arthur of Keansburg and yes, that be agreeable with us, friend Francis. Have yee any knights with you?”

  “Nay! They be asleep from much ale they drank last eve. Twas then that we heard of yer group an’ decided ta take leave o’ the scoundrels. Be yee that bunch that sent Sir Grogan back in his sleepwear?”

  “Yes,” answered a smiling Arty, “that indeed be us, friend Francis. Come and sit with us over yon hill.” He cupped his hands to his mouth and called out, “Keansburg, all’s well. Come on out.”