Heaven's Children (Earth Totem)

by Jackson, Deborah

  Nettles pulled away from Seth’s grasp, positioning herself in front of Amber.

  ‘Before you leave Amber, you need to remember one thing. We are family here, all of us and just because you’re not ready yet, does not mean that we don’t count you as one of our own.’ Nettles’ voice was stern and normally the voice of reason. Now it irritated her.

  Amber looked at her moodily.

  She noticed how Claudine and Caro stepped behind Nettles, forming a battle group. Even Seth looked smug as he wound his arms round Nettles’ waist. She felt her temper flare again. The idea of being part of another group was starting to become tempting, really tempting.

  ‘Are you finished?’ Amber whispered gritting her teeth. She heard the group breath in together. Andrea moved between them, Nettles was known for her temper. She kept her voice soft.

  ‘Amber you can’t change yet, you’re not ready and even if you are, the totem initiation is a big deal. It takes weeks of planning and council members need to be present.’

  She tried to put her hand on her shoulder, but Amber pulled away. Deep down, she knew what Andrea was saying was true, but she did feel ready. She had read the sacred rites until she knew them by heart. The only part she didn’t like was being naked outside. When a totem joined with you for the first time it was because you were chosen. Clothes, she was told, always confused the totem when it was released from Gaia. No-one knew how she had planned and written her ideas for months. The initiation was the most important moment of her whole life. She dreamt of it, and imagined the three who would be part of the ceremony. There would also be a member of the council there which is why she had chosen to memorise everything. She dreamt about her totem and couldn’t wait for one to choose her. According to the book of Gaia, this happened when the doorway between the mortal and immortal world opened. Part of her was sad but today just confirmed her decision to go somewhere else.

  Don’t listen to them Amber, they still need you, just in case she wakes up. Think about why don’t want you to leave yet.

  Although the voice confirms what she felt, it also makes her flustered, and she drops her bag. They took this as a sign that she was staying, and she felt the atmosphere lighten. Before she could say anything, she was back on the couch and they were doing the hug pile up.

  ‘I’m so glad you’re staying, you’re not a murderer…no-one is. Only Gaia decides when life is taken or given.’ Nettles whispered before kissing her loudly on her cheek. She reddened then, doubt creeping in. Nettles sounded like she actually meant it and even Claudine and Caro seemed sincere.

  ‘We were only initiated just before you joined us, we’re still new. And we had to wait ages,’ Claudine said rubbing at the tears on Amber’s cheeks.

  ‘Ages,’ Caro nodded Amber couldn’t control the small smile that crept its way onto her cheek, reddening when Andrea crouched down in front of her. Her face was different, she was serious.

  ‘Your time will come Amber, but for now we have to concentrate on protecting Nevaeh. She’s at risk in the hospital. She felt the voice from before listening, pushing a question into her head.

  ‘Isn’t Hawk putting himself and us more at risk by being seen? I mean, he was driving – is he going to the hospital? What was the name of the hospital again?’ She sat back stunned at what she had just asked. It was too obvious, and Andrea looked at her steadily.

  ‘I mean, in the book it says that trancing is Gaia’s gift to us – why not use that. Why even drive at all?’ She forced herself to laugh still reeling from the question and wished at this moment for a little privacy. They had told her it was for her protection, but now she realised it was to spy on the group. She felt like she was living two lives and the pounding in her head became more intense.

  I can’t do this.

  Keep calm Amber. She felt a soft touch to her temples and briefly closed her eyes in ecstasy. The pounding was gone, and she felt calmer than she had for days. She knew it was his magic touch and even now, he was looking out for her. It took her a while to notice that Andrea was still staring at her. For one moment, Amber thought she suspected but how could she? She almost laughed in relief when Andrea smiled at her.

  ‘That’s a good point Amber. I can see now that you’ve been studying hard. I’ll make sure that I put through an application for initiation this month – how’s that?’ Seth and Nettles called Andrea over before Amber had time to respond. Her mind was reeling: Now she offered it to her, why now, when it was too late? She felt miserable again. Andrea clapped her on the leg before standing up, misreading her face. ‘Don’t worry; I know you’ve been studying.’ She smiled before heading over to Seth and Nettles who were eager to join with their totems. She felt numb, realisation settling in. Andrea had really been listening all these months when she had told her about her studies. She wasn’t being ignored and for the first time, she started to feel guilt, real guilt.

  ‘We won’t be long,’ Seth moaned, breaking into Amber’s thoughts. His voice was turning into a whine. Andrea didn’t want them to go, not yet.

  ‘But we won’t be long.’ He mumbled dragging the last word out.

  ‘Neither will we.’ Andrea said sternly, ignoring the way Seth dragged his feet dramatically.

  ‘Such a teenager,’ Andrea smiled tousling his Mohawk. Seth flinched.

  ‘Hey! Not the hair, never the hair.’ he grinned, making a show of sleeking it upwards. Nettles rolled her eyes at Amber and they all laughed. She was always in awe of Andrea’s leadership skills. No matter how upset everyone was, she calmed them down. She felt another trickle of guilt – maybe Andrea would understand if she told her about them. Maybe it wasn’t too late. She felt his fury as pain seared across her temples making her wince. This was another reminder that they were always watching her.

  17

  The Knots of Gaia

  Andrea took a deep breath before holding out the knotted ropes in signal for Hebet en ba to invoke Gaia herself. Each knot signified an initiated member of the group. She called Amber over and placed her in the centre of the circle. Amber felt confused by this inclusion, from what she had read, the knots of Gaia were forbidden to the uninitiated.

  She could feel the voices being locked out by the knots and wondered if Andrea knew about her secret. The circle of knots was filled with magic and protected everyone. Amber looked round warily, feeling more like a sacrifice. She felt beads of sweat form on her forehead. She’d heard that the knots revealed the truth and prayed that it was just a rumour.

  Andrea raised her arms, cupping her hands to invoke the tree of life. She inhaled deeply and pulled on the rope. The others circled Amber smiling, and she blushed. Everyone else copied her except Claudine, who frowned at Amber’s muddy aura. As the Gaia dance continued, she noticed how it spread outwards like fingers and enclosed herself in a protective shield, sensing her sister to do the same. Andrea’s voice was getting louder and the energy of the ropes tingled up their arms into their bodies.

  Sem- a em sentet en kshertu,

  I have made my way to the tree of life.

  Pa-na au –a temt-kua em bah-k

  May I fly, May I gather myself together like a hawk.

  Nepver en nub; an-na ab-a em tu

  Beautiful land of gold; may it come to me in my heart.

  Abtet; an-na-a er amitu neteru

  Of beginnings; may it come to me among the gods!

  Amber felt tears roll down her cheeks, the words repeated by the others sounded like music. At the mention of the Hawk, an overpowering sense of despair filled her, and she wished she could take the words back. Hawk really loved Nevaeh; it was obvious, even if she didn’t want to see it earlier.

  Andrea held up a small totem stick in which pictorial symbols of the four elements, fire, water, air and earth, were carved. Down the sides were the names of all the totem leaders. It was a reminder of their heritage. Amber held her breath as Andrea pointed to the four compass corners. It was the indication to speak.
The binding magic from the circle of knots drew them closer as it wove its way round them. Everyone including Amber felt the power surge through them. Andrea was the first to speak.

  ‘We’re still a totem family and the protection of Mother is our first covenant. We must be on guard, and look to Meshkenet, our midwife of souls, to protect, especially tonight.’ She took a deep breath.

  ’Be on the look out for others, recognise the darkness, the Kekui, their auras will be tainted. Anna and others like her will carry the Kekui with them. They’ve already swept through two totem groups recently, and taken control. They are using the energy lines of our mother against us; the sign is the blue mist. It is unnatural and created to confuse our senses. They won’t stop until we are all working for them.’ At the mention of Kekui, the ancient totem name for darkness, Claudine and Caro looked at Amber.

  ‘Children of Totem, we cannot stop; by controlling Gaia they will control the environment and everything that lives on it. Anna is no longer one of us, and you must not answer her call. I don't care how urgent it seems. Remember, we are instructed to keep to our totems and only signal each other, trust only each other. I’ve heard that they are using non-totem members to gain entry into other groups – be careful of your outsider friends. In Gaia we see, In Gaia we believe.’

  ‘Andrea, is it true that Anna is a council guardian and leader of Amset - the Cornwall group?’ Caro asked.

  Andrea looked surprised; it wasn’t general knowledge. But the twins had ways of finding out things. She chose her words carefully.

  ‘It’s true, the wise one, Anna, has disappeared, and the Gaia council is looking into the matter. Word on the wind is that her research into Khaos infected her. She always had immense powers over the elements, but now…’ Andrea shrugged looking around. Her only memory of Anna was from the last council group meeting. There were whispers then about Anna’s fixation with Khaos theory.

  ‘I’ve heard that the flooding in a village nearby was by Anna. Harp bought cheap land from the farmers affected and created another site. My sources have told me that it’s heavily guarded like the others, and the antennae have already affected Gaia’s natural energy in the area.’ Andrea added.

  ‘Our mother’s family came from there, and they’re missing.’ Caro said looking at the other members furiously.

  ‘One of them is our cousin and she’s the same age as us.’ Claudine’s voice was raised and Andrea placed a calming hand on her shoulder.

  ‘We will not allow that to happen to us. All of us have been chosen.’ Andrea’s voice was low and she looked at Amber smiling. She was glad that she had included her. There were too many risks being taken lately and groups were being infiltrated. Amset, their southern group had been wiped out. That left only three remaining pillars of Gaia, East – Tuameutev, West – Qebsenuv and North – Hapi. With one of the groups missing it made them weak. She winced, wondering why Gaia allowed it to happen. If she asked any of the elders, the answer would always be the same - free will. They might never know how significant Nevaeh was and she can’t help but wonder at the coincidence. Nevaeh, according to Hawk, was an indigo and he was certain she was being called to ward off Khaos. So why were totems being taken? For their powers?

  In the centre, Amber shivered in relief as the circle broke up. She knew she was already in too deep and that it was going to get worse.

  18

  Kekui

  Amber was still flushed as she watched them move out into the night. All of their energies felt etched onto her skin, and she felt more united with them than normal. Deep down she wondered if Andrea had sensed something and done this on purpose.

  In the kitchen, Caro and Claudine put the kettle on.

  ‘Amber has Kekui, she’s practically swimming in it.’ Claudine whispered to her twin.

  ‘Do you think the others saw it?’ Caro asked pulling out a herbal tea bag. Claudine shrugged her shoulders. ‘If they did, no-one said anything.’

  Claudine frowned. ‘So how will the others be able to look out for it?’

  ‘They’ll smell them before they even enter the room.’ Claudine jumped slightly as Amber entered the room. Amber nodded. She felt distracted and confused; the voice inside her head seemed to have disappeared altogether.

  ‘I can’t believe that Anna was ever one of us. How can she not care anymore?’ Caro said looking briefly at Amber. Amber shrugged, her guilt reflected in her spiking aura. The twins glanced at each other knowingly.

  ‘Do you remember those dolphins found washed up on the African coast, confused and dying? For centuries, they had followed Gaia’s energy roads through the sea and avoided any unnatural danger. Now, others like them get lost. Those that survived watched their pods slaughtered by humans for food. The natural harmony of Gaia is changing Amber, and Nevaeh might be our only hope of fighting them before they do the same to us.’ Claudine tinkled the teaspoon loudly.

  Amber frowned at the way she almost mouthed Nevaeh’s name as if saying it aloud might jinx them. She tried to push Nevaeh into the back of her mind, but it was difficult when she thought about how eager she was to come over.

  She remembered how they made a beeline for her that first day. She just didn’t seem as unique as they made out. She was just a weird girl, lying under a tree, talking to herself. Mostly she remembered how many birds there were and even caught the flash of a few rabbits scuttling into the undergrowth. She smiled then, suspecting that this was why Hawk wanted her recruited, because of her love of animals, or maybe her looks.

  Amber bit her lip feeling her mobile vibrate and quickly turned it off. She felt so confused. Everything they said earlier made sense but why couldn’t they teach her to at least trance properly? She felt stuck between two groups, this group liked to do things slowly, and the others had promised to teach her now. She looked at the twins, who had waited an entire year before they could even trance, and felt uncertain. The longing to join was strong, stronger now that she could choose to do it right away. She remembered how the twins described the feeling of joining and the connection with Gaia.

  ‘Gaia’s energy makes us feel as if we have super powers. You can see, hear and feel everything'.

  Amber remembered the feverish look in their eyes, and the seed grew each time she thought of it.

  She shook her head; did they really think Nevaeh was more powerful than that? She blushed realising that Claudine and Caro were waving their hands in front of her face.

  ‘You alright Amber?’

  Amber shrugged.

  ‘Yeah, I was just thinking ‘bout her y’know, Nevaeh.’

  Caro cast her sister a look.

  ‘Y’know, being special and all that.’ Amber muttered.

  ‘I mean how do we know that Nevaeh can do anything?’ she looked at the twins. 'Seriously, you’ve met her right?’ she added.

  Claudine and Caro cloaked their expressions, a look Amber picked up on.

  ‘I knew it,’ she pounced, pointing a finger at them triumphantly.

  ‘You think the same thing as me.’

  Claudine shushed her, looking behind them. Amber felt like dancing - she wasn’t the only one who had doubts.

  A commotion of whining and snarling drew their attention outside. Even in the darkness you could see two naked figures crouching on the patio facing their totems, their heads bowed. It was something Amber had never tired of seeing, and she knew that as experienced as they were, joining was the most crucial. If the totem sensed that their energies were not on the same frequency, or there was danger, the reaction reversed. Instead of joining, their own totems might attack them. In her training, Andrea had told her about the legend of a totem sister who was swallowed whole. Like any legend the possibility of it happening again was always at the back of her mind. It seemed impossible when she watched the way they blended so intimately.

  The twins shifted next to her. Joining was contagious, and she knew it wouldn’t be long before they too, were outsi
de. With their joining complete, Seth and Nettles turned to look at the three of them in the window, before disappearing in a flurry of silver and black hair.

  Amber shivered. Before she joined this group, she never seriously thought about the environment, except what bin to put her plastic in. Now it seemed so much more serious.

  ‘What were you saying?’ Caro slurped at her tea, ignoring the way her twin had started to pace round the kitchen. Joining was contagious and Caro, who always bragged that she was the eldest by two minutes, did seem to be more in control. Claudine started to growl, and Amber backed away returning to the lounge. She remembered a time when they were upset by something while waiting to join and almost exploded into a fury of fur. Apparently it was quite normal for the youngest initiates to lose control and she didn’t want to be in striking distance. She knew that the twins would wait until Seth and Nettles had returned; patrolling was always done in rotation, for safety.

  In the lounge, she felt the familiar butterflies at the way Andrea flipped her hair over. She had been so stressed lately, and they never seemed to spend any time with each other. Now that school was finished for the summer holidays, she was always alone. She sat next to her feeling guilty and bit her lip wondering if she should tell her.

  ‘Andrea…I…’ Andrea shushed her, a flash of irritation spreading across her face and held her mobile out briefly to make a point.

  Amber mouthed a sorry, but Andrea was too busy talking to one of the elders and waved her away. Feelings of guilt melted instantly and she pulled her own phone out while picking up her bag. Scrolling through the messages in the hallway, she half listened to Claudine and Caro growling.