Heller’s Decision

by JD Nixon

  “Maybe the matter with me this morning is that I have to associate with a bunch of knuckle-draggers like you people!” And with that sweeping statement, I stomped off through the door and down the stairs to the carpark. I climbed into our allocated 4WD and slammed the door.

  When Bick didn’t appear after a minute, I leaned on the horn, startling the crap out every man in the vicinity.

  “Hurry up, Barnes!” I yelled out of the window as he meandered down the stairs, not caring that I sounded shrewish.

  Some of the men around patted him on the shoulder in commiseration at being saddled with such a bitch for the rest of the day, which only made me angrier. We drove in silence for a while and I struggled the whole time to cool down. When I felt I’d mastered my anger, I spoke to him again in a quiet voice.

  “Bick, while I would never want to suppress your excellent sense of humour, I just thought you should know that I’m a little grumpy today because I had a late night and I’m tired. It’s not because I’m having a period. The car accident I had crushed my ovaries or something, which means I no longer have periods. And that’s why I can’t have any children.”

  Instant mortification rolled from him in almost physical waves, his face reddening. I momentarily felt sorry for him, because I knew he wasn’t an unkind man. But if he thought my periods were a prime topic to joke about, then he was big enough to hear the truth about them too.

  “God, Tilly. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that, I swear. If I’d known, I’d never have –”

  “I know, Bick. That’s why I wanted to tell you, to save the both of us from any future embarrassment about it.”

  “I’m just so sorry. I really am such a thoughtless clod. I hope you believe me when I say I’d never intentionally say something so hurtful. Never.”

  “It’s okay, really. Forget about it.”

  He hesitated to ask, “Are you going to tell Heller?”

  “No!” I insisted heatedly. “I don’t know why everyone thinks I tell him everything.”

  “I guess it’s natural to think that because you’re a couple.”

  “I’m not sure we are a couple,” I said flatly, looking out the window. “When I asked him that, he didn’t answer me. I’m not really sure I’m anything more to him than a longer-term fling.”

  “Nobody would ever call you his fling.”

  “All right, his fuck-buddy then. Whatever you guys call me behind my back.”

  He reddened slightly again. “Some of the guys might call you that, but not most of us. We just think of you as his woman. The one person in the whole business who probably knows him the best.”

  I laughed without joy. “You’re kidding, right? I know nothing about him. He doesn’t tell me anything about what he’s done or what he’s doing.”

  “He told you about what happened last night though, didn’t he?”

  “What do you mean? About what happened between him and me? Why would he need to tell me that? I was there.”

  “No, about what Clive and he did last night.”

  “What did they do?”

  An uncomfortable expression crossed his face. “Forget I said anything. I didn’t realise –”

  “Bick! What did they do? Tell me.”

  “Oh geez, I just naturally assumed you knew.”

  I could have screamed in frustration. “Knew what?”

  “I heard – and I don’t know anything for sure, it’s just a rumour, you understand?”

  “Yes!”

  “I heard they tracked down those two PRON guys who abducted you yesterday.”

  “And?”

  “And they taught them a lesson.”

  My heart stopped beating for a second, double-pumping the next. “What kind of lesson? The fatal kind?”

  “I honestly don’t know, Tilly. That’s what I heard.”

  I had to be satisfied with that. “How could they track them down? We didn’t even know their names.”

  “I don’t know, but remember Heller employs a couple of IT specialists in the surveillance section. I guess they could hack into the Seductively Sextravagant database to get the names and then match them to drivers’ licences to crosscheck the photos. That would give them names and addresses. Fairly easy when you think about it.” He hastened to add, “That’s only a guess. I don’t really know. It’s not something I could do.”

  I was about to argue that surely it wasn’t that easy to obtain access to people’s drivers licences, but then reminded myself that it was Heller we were talking about. I hadn’t forgotten the dossier he’d handed me at my interview that contained all sorts of personal information about me, including educational records, job history and . . . details of my driver’s licence.

  I slumped back in my seat, a lot of horrible things to think about. Whatever Heller and Clive had done to those two men, he had come home and had sex with me without sharing one iota of information about his evening’s activities. He hadn’t even given me one tiny hint that he’d spent his time doing something which I’d no doubt had been extremely violent in nature. It didn’t seem possible to me for a man to be able to do that.

  And the worst thing to me was that I’d massaged out every ache in his muscles from doing whatever he’d done. Once again, my blood chilled in my veins at the cold-natured detachment of this mysterious man I loved so much.

  And my part in it.

  Chapter 12

  Barb had really pulled out the stops for the last day of Seductively Sextravagant. It was quite an effort for Bick to not openly ogle her perky, over-endowed body. In fact, he failed miserably at it, his eyes almost magnetically drawn to her amazing cleavage. Judging from the ever-lasting grin on his face, he apparently thought this was the best assignment he’d ever been given.

  She wore a black halter-neck bra top, which made no obvious attempt to corral her assets, and a pair of tight, black mini-shorts. Over this less-than-modest ensemble, she wore an open, sheer red jacket that hung to her butt, and a killer pair of fuck-me-right-here-right-now red stilettos. Her brilliant red pout completed the revealing outfit. Her hair spilled loose down her back. She was sizzling hot, every centimetre the porn star. Each man’s head swivelled after her as she wafted past, as if unable to stop himself.

  Although I genuinely thought Barb was a lovely, grounded person, I didn’t want to stand anywhere near her, only too aware of the unfavourable comparison everybody would make between us. So I hung back from the admiring throng, my arms crossed defensively over my own boobs. I couldn’t help be mindful of my unglamorous and rather mismatched outfit, wishing I’d had time to put on some makeup that morning. Or even brush my hair. Standing next to Barb made me feel like a splotchy beige canvas hanging on a wall next to a Van Gogh.

  The first thing we all noticed at Seductively Sextravagant on our entry was the still-vacant ex-PRON Productions booth. I released a burdensome amount of tension in my body on seeing that welcoming sight. I didn’t know what Heller had done to those men, but I sure didn’t want to suffer any payback from his nocturnal activities. However, in comparison to the rest of our time at the expo, the last day almost seemed anti-climactic. I probably should have abandoned Barb and Roger and returned to the station, but I decided to award myself a get-out-of-work-free card because of what had happened to me the previous day.

  Because it was the last day, Seductively Sextravagant teemed with visitors, Barb and Roger almost overwhelmed with people wanting to meet them and jam into the already packed auditorium to hear them speak. Trent’s interview had worked its magic. Bick and the two thick-necks struggled at times to ensure patience and good order in the various queues, but nothing disastrous happened beyond an occasional harried spat or shove.

  At lunchtime, the thick-necks insisted they could manage the dissipated queue, which had mostly drifted away for the hour Barb and Roger would take to eat. Bick and I split up, having different goals to pursue. I wasn’t particularly interested in buying anything else after my disastrous attempt at seduct
ion last night, deciding that from now on I was a firm believer that the body was the best sex toy of all. But I still found the various stalls fascinating. I couldn’t believe some of the products I saw, not even able to imagine their use.

  I returned at the end of the hour, having only purchased a hot dog and a gargantuan cola for lunch, which I had to hurriedly gobble and slurp on spotting Heller and Farrell approaching the booth in the distance. They were kind of hard to miss in their uniforms and with Heller standing a blond head taller than everyone else. He had the healthiest diet of anyone I’d ever known and would have been angry with me for eating junk food.

  Bick turned up a few minutes later with two bags stuffed full of products.

  “What on earth did you buy?” I marvelled, trying to rummage in his bags.

  “Get out!” he said, pulling them away from my curious eyes. “It’s private! Because it’s the last day of the expo, everything’s half-price. I found some real bargains.”

  “Have fun with them, whatever they are.”

  “I intend to. And I’m sure that there’s something in here that Dixie will really enjoy too. I bought a lot of different things.”

  My heart twanged for him a little. He sounded so eager and so . . . innocent. I hoped Dixie would be respectful of that. “Sounds like it’s getting serious between you two.”

  He laughed, embarrassed. “It’s only been a few dates, but I like her a lot. I hope she likes me too. Do you think she’s the settling down type?”

  “I’m not sure, Bick. But I bet she’s not into all that stuff.” That was a blatant lie, because Dixie was probably the kinkiest person I’d ever met. But Bick didn’t need to know that at this delicate point in their relationship. I didn’t want to scare him off too soon. Dixie could manage that all by herself at a later stage.

  I took the time while Heller and Farrell continued to fight through the crush to reach us, to bin my discriminating rubbish and text Dixie quickly to let her know what Bick had bought and planned. Her reply didn’t fill me with great confidence: Woo hoo! Am I ever going to ride that stallion tonight!!!

  Oh dear.

  “Everything quiet, Barnes?” snapped Heller, clearly not in a good mood. Well, that made two of us.

  “Totally,” Bick said, standing taller.

  “Good. I see that those other people haven’t turned up today.”

  “Not so far.”

  “That’s good. I’m pleased.”

  “Heller?” I asked.

  “Yes, my sweet? I’m rather busy today,” he warned, checking his watch even though he’d only just arrived.

  I tugged on his sleeve and nodded to a more distant, quieter spot. “Over here.”

  He followed me and looked down with a quizzical expression. “What is it, Matilda?”

  “I want to know what happened last night.”

  He stared down at me for what seemed like hours, his face growing blanker and blanker. “What do you mean? Surely you haven’t forgotten about your massage? I certainly haven’t. I’m feeling a little bruised today.”

  “Heller! I’m not talking about that, and you know it! I’ve been told Clive and you sorted out those PRON guys last night. What did you do to them?”

  “Matilda . . .”

  “Don’t Matilda me! I want to know if those men are still alive.”

  Our eyes clashed. He ended the battle by abruptly signalling to Farrell, both of them moving away from me. “I have to go. I have a meeting.”

  “Heller! Get back here and answer my questions for once!” I shrieked pointlessly to his retreating back, making everyone turn to stare at me.

  My consequent bad mood followed me like a little dark cloud for the rest of the day. If Bick hadn’t already dreaded spending time with me today, he sure was by the time Seductively Sextravagant finally wrapped up for another year.

  He’d only been paid for up until he delivered Barb and Roger safely back to their hotel room for the night, virtually chomping at the bit to knock off work and head over to Dixie’s place with his bags of goodies. Barb and Roger told me that they planned on staying in the city a few days longer for a well-deserved holiday before flying back to the UK, but this time they’d be on their own. I wondered if they’d considered hiring their own security for their remaining time here. In their shoes I would have worried about retribution from PRON.

  Closing time arrived and centre security started shooing out the straggling customers, while the booth holders packed up for another year. Roger and Barb had proved to be a very successful drawcard, both for the organisers and for themselves. They didn’t have a single DVD left to pack up, so they handed over their cash to the armed security guards who came especially to collect the banking money. Though I imagined Barb and Roger had made a small fortune during their four days, they confessed to looking forward to just being tourists and fitting in some sightseeing. Barb also confided her keen desire to change out of her outfit into something more comfortable.

  “You don’t like wearing those kind of clothes?” I asked in some surprise, after watching her spend the last four days strutting her stuff in them.

  “God, no!” she laughed. “I’ve had a king-sized wedgie all day in these tight shorts. They’re killing me.”

  “And you would not believe how much my nuts ache after being squeezed for hours in these tight pants,” chuckled Roger.

  Bick and I glanced at each other, trying not to look so startled by their honesty.

  “You’re not really making it sound all that glamorous,” I smiled for the first time since I’d spoken to Heller.

  “It’s not glamorous, Tilly,” said Barb. “Like we said before, it’s just a job. And it’s hard work sometimes. Like millions of other jobs in the world.”

  Garrett scurried up to them, almost tripping over his profuse thanks for their appearance at Seductively Sextravagant. He tried for five valiant, yet futile, minutes to talk them into attending the wrap party for the expo, but they declined, clearly wanting nothing more than to get out of their uncomfortable clothes, and more importantly, spend some quality time together. Thinking of Heller again, I felt a pang witnessing their mutual happiness, closeness and love.

  “Hey,” Bick nudged me, whispering. “Your sad face is back again.”

  “They look so happy together,” I said forlornly in a low voice. “I don’t think I’m ever going to get married. I mean, I’m twenty-six. I’m going to end up single forever.”

  “Who cares these days? I hit the big three-oh this year and I’m not married. Don’t worry about it.”

  “Thirty? Really? For some reason I always thought you were younger than that.”

  “It must be my boyish good looks.”

  “No, more like your immaturity.”

  “Hey, I’m the responsible adult here, remember.”

  “Then God help us all.”

  Benjy, still in his costume, waltzed past us and I called him over, wishing him the best for his dancing career.

  “Thanks!” he said. “I already have an audition next week.”

  “More genitalia?” asked Bick with a grin.

  “Not for a long time, trust me! No, this will be a dream job – a two-week gig in schools for the Department of Health to promote eating fruit and vegies in kids under twelve. The ad said I’ll get to sing and dance.”

  “Oh,” I said, bereft of words. “Make sure you watch out for the costumes.”

  “Costumes? The ad didn’t say anything about costumes.” He looked at me, puzzled, for a moment until Mr Hairpiece snapped at him for not being quicker to get out of his current lurid costume. The poor guy didn’t know what he had coming, I thought, wondering if Barnaby was still in charge of those concerts.

  As Bick had agreed to give me a lift back to the Warehouse after dropping off Barb and Roger for the last time, we headed to the carpark in a group. I began to think longingly of the bathroom, remembering with regret my giant-sized cola from lunch. And once I started thinking about it, I couldn’t
think of anything else, my bladder pressing painfully on me. I wouldn’t be able to make it to their hotel and home again.

  “Hey, Bick, is it okay if I make a pit stop? I had a huge drink for lunch.”

  “Girls!” he remarked disparagingly, rolling his eyes. “Okay, we’ll meet you at the car, but don’t take too long.”

  “Thanks, and I won’t,” I agreed gratefully. I almost sprinted to the nearest bathroom, which was a bit of a distance away, verging on desperate by the time a stall became available. Afterwards, greatly relieved, I hastened past all the booths being disassembled, cutting through the noisy crowd to the VIP carpark to rejoin the other three.

  Except . . . they weren’t there.

  I glanced around, confused. I’d agreed with Bick to meet them at the car, and I was here, but where was everyone else? I couldn’t spot the trio anywhere and it wasn’t as though they were inconspicuous or anything. I didn’t quite know what to do. I looked around me helplessly for a while again before trying the doors of the 4WD. They were unlocked. What the . . .? I thought. Heller wouldn’t be happy about that. It was then that I noticed the key in the ignition and Bick’s bags thrown carelessly in the back, fallen over and spilling their lewd contents. My stomach cramped with sudden fear.

  I spun around, checking for them anxiously. Where the hell were they? None of this looked good. I reached in to my handbag to pull out my phone to call Heller when I spotted something lying near the rear wheel of the vehicle. A wallet. I leaned down to retrieve it and flipped it open. Bick’s friendly face on his Heller’s staff card smiled back at me. My heart froze in dread. Whatever had happened to them, it hadn’t been voluntary. I had my phone out, speed-dialling Heller, when a frightened young man approached me. It took me a while to recognise him as Benjy, freed of the encumbrance of the costume, but loaded down with apprehension instead.

  “Benjy? Did you see something? What happened to them? What happened to Bick?” I asked him, clasping his upper arms and shaking him.

  “Oh God, it was a swarm of men in balaclavas. They had guns! They just scooped them up and pushed them into a van. Just a few minutes ago. I didn’t know what to do.”