Dirty Daddies: 2020 Anniversary Anthology

by Maren Smith

“I’m hungry.” My stomach protested at the reminder that I hadn’t eaten in too long.

  “Hello?” Wade called as I heard thumping getting nearer. Everything was so much louder in the human world. He came in looking confused.

  “Where am I?” I didn’t know what else to say.

  “You’re safe. You’re in my apartment. I had to bring you up here because you passed out and I didn’t have anywhere to lay you downstairs. Were you talking to someone?” Wade looked around the room and I held my breath, hoping Oliver and I had not gotten caught.

  “Someone? No.” I answered quickly. “Do you have, um, clothes for my naked?”

  “Clothes for your naked?” he smiled. “Yes, sweetie. I have clothes downstairs for you to try on. You passed out before we got that far.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

  “I know that. It’s an involuntary response. It’s nothing you can control. You stay there and I will go see what I can find for you to put on. What size are you?”

  Size? Somehow I knew he wasn’t asking how many nudibranchs I span. I had no idea what size I was in human terms.

  “Nevermind, just stay put.”

  “That was too close for comfort,” Oliver whispered as soon as Wade left us. “We are going to have to be more careful, lass.”

  I nodded. “What happens when he comes back?”

  “He’s going to give you things to put on. There’s not much help I can give you with getting dressed, so just ask him to help you. I can already see in his eyes that he wants to take care of you. You need to let him.”

  “But if I want to stay on land, I have to do things on my own.”

  “I know the rules, lass. You will learn to do things in due time. For now, let him teach you and just keep telling him that you remember nothing.”

  “This is hard work. I thought living above the water would be easy and fun.” I crossed my arms over my chest in my best pout.

  “If you like the nut, crack it, wee lass. But if you don’t do the work, you can’t reap the rewards. You might also want to be careful of that face you’re making. It's going to get you into some trouble. He’s coming back again. Do as I’ve said, and you will be fine.” He laid his head down and stopped talking.

  “Okay, I have a few things for you to try on. I’m not sure if any of them will fit well, but if we can at least get you covered, we can go out and see about getting you something more suitable.” He held out his arms that had different things draped from them. “Which one do you want to try first?”

  The colors on both were vibrant and swirled together in a way I could stare at all day. “What is this called?” I traced the spiral on the front with my finger. “It looks like the inside of a shell, spattered with different colors.”

  “It's called tie dye,” he answered, seemingly a lot less frustrated with my questions than he was in the beginning.

  “I like it. Did you make them?”

  “No, I bought them.”

  “Bought?”

  “Coral, as much as I would love to explain every other word I say to you, we need to get you dressed. You cannot stay naked anymore, so please choose one.”

  The impatience returned as I considered the pieces he held. “What’s wrong with my naked? Why are you so repulsed by me?” I let the towel fall and crossed my arms over my chest. If he wanted to be frustrated with me, then I was going to throw it right back at him.

  “Repulsed? Oh, honey, no. That’s not even a little bit true. It’s just not appropriate for you to be walking around nude.”

  “But I’m not walking around. I’m sitting.”

  “It's a figure of speech. Please just trust me on this. Look, I’m wearing clothes.”

  Hearing he wasn’t sickened by me was helpful, but I still didn’t understand. “Fine. This one.” I pointed to his right hand.

  “Okay then, take these into the bathroom and try them on.”

  “Bathroom? Try them on?” I didn’t know what those things meant, but that was okay. Oliver said to let Wade do it. Confusion must have shown on my face.

  “Really? You don’t even remember what a bathroom is or how to dress yourself?”

  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I don’t remember these things. I don’t know why I don’t remember. I just don’t. Please don’t be mad at me.” My cheeks burned and I stared at my hands as I talked, not wanting to see his unhappy glare. Water dripped from my eyes and I blinked hard to try to make it stop. All of the new feelings and sensations were too much, and I didn’t know what to do with them.

  Wade bent down in front of me. “I’m not mad at you, little one.” He spoke gently and my pounding heart instantly slowed down. “I’m concerned and confused by all of this. We just need to get you dressed so we can start figuring things out. Can we do that?”

  “Will you help me?” I tentatively looked up at him, and what I saw calmed my pounding heart. He was not unhappy at all. His eyes held a warm and inviting glow, and I found myself leaning into him.

  He backed away and stood before I could get too close. “I would love nothing more than to help you. Can you stand?”

  It took me a minute to process after his quick movement and I still didn’t know what he was asking me to do, but when he put out his hand, I took it and followed slowly when he pulled. My legs wobbled, and I had to hold tight to Wade in order not to fall.

  “Do your knees hurt?”

  Wade moved faster than I could answer and leaned down, pulling the towel to the side to look at my legs. In that moment I remembered what knees were and I looked down to see mine covered in white.

  “Why did you put little towels on my legs?”

  “They aren’t towels, they’re bandages and I put them there while you were asleep to stop the bleeding. Do they feel okay?”

  “I think so.” I bent them slightly, feeling the bandages move against my damaged flesh.

  “Good then, would you like me to help you to the bathroom?” I nodded, still not sure what a bathroom was or what I was supposed to do there. He stood back up, wrapped his arm around my waist and helped me walk to a small space. Oliver ran ahead of me and sat in front of a large white bowl.

  “Get out of there buddy, let Coral get dressed.”

  Oliver barked.

  “Come on, out.” Wade reached for him and he barked and backed away.

  “He’s okay. He can stay with me. I like him.”

  The two stood staring at each other for a moment before Wade gave in. “Okay, I’ll be right on the other side of the door if you need me.”

  He handed me the clothes and shut the small opening with what I think was the door. I turned to Oliver and, knowing we would not be able to talk with Wade so close, I held the clothes up to him. He took them from me one by one and nudged me over to the white bowl.

  “Sit,” he whispered and I obeyed.

  I watched as he arranged one of the pieces under my legs.

  He nudged the bottom of my leg where my toes were. “Put your feet in.”

  I knew a few names to human body parts, but I was learning more and more as the seconds ticked by. My fin was not only replaced with legs and toes, but knees and feet as well. I wished I could sit with Oliver and ask more questions. I wanted to learn everything, and I wanted to learn now. Sliding my feet into the holes, I waited for the next instruction.

  “Stand and pull up the sides.” The quiet clipped commands stirred something inside me and I frowned, not liking it. Oliver did not like my hesitation and nudged my leg. Using the things around me, I pulled myself to standing, but getting back down to pick up the clothes was not so easy. My body shook with fatigue. Holding on with one hand, I leaned down to grab the top of the clothing, but when I pulled, I pulled too hard and fell onto Oliver.

  “What happened?” Wade pushed through the door. “Are you okay?”

  He got down on his knees next to me and my cheeks warmed again. “I need help.”

  “I see that. Why didn’t you tell me?”


  “I tried.”

  “What are you having the most trouble with?”

  “My legs.”

  “Your legs?”

  “I don’t know how to work them on my own and I’m very tired,” I finally confessed.

  “Wait a second. You don’t remember how to work your legs? You walked on the beach this morning,” he pointed out.

  “Oliver held me up.” I shrugged my shoulders. For the first time I felt a little guilty for lying to him about everything. He was trying so hard to help me, and I wished I could just tell him what was happening. It would make everything so much easier. It would also get me in trouble with the king. Not telling a human about the Mer World was the first rule we learned when we were told about our option to live a year on land. The penalty was instant and harsh, which was why not many Mer people took the opportunity like I had. We’d all heard stories about the ones who had been lost to the humans. If I made a mistake, my memory would be wiped clean and I would forever be banished to the human world. My family would never see or hear from me again, and I would be lost for real. As much as I had looked forward to my adventure, I had no intention of making such a permanent mistake.

  “Wow, little one. Well, let’s get you up and back to the bed then and I will dress you.”

  “Thank you.” Relief washed over me as he slid his arms around me and pulled me to his chest.

  “What else don’t you remember?” he asked.

  “Anything. I feel like I have never been in this world before.” Finally, I had my chance. “What is this space called? Where are we right now?” I asked, waving my arms around.

  “This room? This is the bathroom.”

  “Bathroom, I remember you said that before. What do you do in here? What are these?” I gestured to the three large white shiny objects that filled the space.

  “You bathe and go to the bathroom.”

  “Go to the bathroom? I thought we were in the bathroom.”

  Wade sighed. “Honey, please tell me you remember how to use a toilet?”

  “Toilet?”

  “This is a toilet.” He sat me down where I had been before Oliver made me try to put on those confusing clothes.

  “When it is open, you empty your bowels and your bladder into it.”

  “Oh! This is where you expel your waste. Well, that is certainly different.”

  “Different? From what?”

  I covered my mouth. “Oh, um, well. I don’t remember. It just feels different.”

  “I think there is something you aren’t telling me.”

  “There are many things I’m not telling you because I don’t know them myself.” Lie after lie after lie. I felt guiltier by the second, but what else could I do. Looking to Oliver, I received a nod and pressed on. “What is bathe?”

  Wade shook his head. “Something inside me is screaming that this is not right, yet the other side of me wants to indulge you and take care of you in ways I have never thought of taking care of a grown woman before.”

  “Which side will you choose?” I asked, clasping my hands in my lap.

  “For now, you win.” He placed his finger under my chin and lifted my head so that I was looking at him. “But mark my words, little girl, if I find out you’re making any of this up, you will find yourself over my knee for a sound spanking for lying to me. Do you understand me?”

  I nodded even though I didn’t know what a ‘sound spanking’ was; the sound of his voice clued me in that I might not want to find out.

  “Good girl. Okay, bathe is what you do in here. This is a bathtub and a shower. You get in here and clean yourself with water and soap.” I opened my mouth to ask what soap was, but he put a finger to my lips. “No more questions. After we get you fed and figure out a few things, I will show you everything you need to know about a bath, deal?”

  “No more questions?”

  “Not right now. We really do need to get you dressed. Put your arms up.”

  I did what I was told, and he slid the cloth down my arms and over my head. It felt foreign against my skin, not as bad as the sand, but not at all pleasant either. I wasn’t all too sure I liked it. I tugged at the part near my neck and squirmed around trying to get used to it.

  “Put your feet in, please.” Wade continued covering me without paying attention to my discomfort.

  “Why would anyone want to do this?”

  “Do what, wear clothes?” he chuckled. Standing up, he took a step back and cocked his head. “What are you doing?”

  “I don’t like it.” I pouted.

  “Get used to it. Unless you’re from a nudist colony or planning to go live in one, you have to wear clothes.”

  “Clothes.” I repeated the word to commit it to memory. “I do not like clothes.”

  “I’m not a super fan of them either to be honest, but I would rather not get arrested.”

  “Arrested?”

  “What did I say about questions?”

  “You said until I got dressed. Isn’t this dressed?”

  “Indeed it is.” He sighed. “Arrested is not something you need to worry about unless you are planning to walk around naked. If you listen and follow the rules, you will be fine. Now, are you hungry?”

  “Yes, I am.” I couldn’t remember a time I had ever been this hungry. I had been so excited to get to the Mer King that I hadn’t even thought to eat. That morning felt like three lifetimes ago.

  “I’m a vegetarian, I hope you don’t mind.” Wade began to leave the bathroom. I stood as I had before, but that was as far as I got before Oliver let out three loud barks. I covered my ears and my legs gave out.

  “Dammit.” Wade cursed as he ran back into the room. “I’m sorry, Coral. Are you okay?”

  “Yes. Would stop doing that? It hurts my ears.”

  “Hear that, boy? You’re hurting her ears. Calm down would you, please?” He turned back to me. “He only barks to get my attention, he’s pretty intelligent. He probably knew you should not be trying to walk.” He raised an eyebrow at me. “Until you get some of your memory back and are steady on your feet, you need to ask for help. I don’t want you getting hurt. Next time it might be worse than some skinned knees.”

  “Okay.” I nodded. I did not like being scolded, but this was a whole new feeling. My stomach was twisted up and my face burned.

  Wade laughed. “You have the sweetest blush. Come on, let’s go to the kitchen and find some food.”

  Chapter Three

  I asked question after question about the kitchen and all the magical items it had in it. Wade took it all in stride and answered everything I threw at him. It felt nice to finally understand the spaces I was in. Wade pulled all sorts of items out of the refrigerator, an amazing contraption that kept items cold. Much easier than burying them deep under the ocean floor.

  “I’m not a strict vegetarian, but I much prefer fruits and vegetables to most meat. Do you have any allergies or anything you can remember?”

  “What’s allergies?”

  “I kind of figured you were going to say that. It is a food you eat that doesn’t react well to your body and can make you sick.”

  “Oh, well I can’t eat f--I mean, I don’t really remember.”

  He shook his head. “You sure do stumble over your words a lot. You sure you don’t remember?” He placed the bowl and fork in front of me. Two new items I got to add to my understanding of the human world.

  “Yes.” I picked up the fork not really knowing what to do with it.

  “Watch me.” He picked up his own and stabbed a piece of food, holding it up for me to see before putting it into his mouth and chewing.

  I mimicked his movements, beaming with pride when I was able to get the food to my mouth. “I did it.”

  “Good. Now eat it.” He smiled.

  I dug into the food, surprised as it crunched and the big flavors exploded on my tongue. “This is amazing! What is this?”

  “It’s called salad. It’s full of fruits and vegetables
.”

  “It’s very colorful.” I took another mouthful before I began picking it apart and asking about every separate piece.

  “Would you like some more?” he asked, finishing his own bowl.

  “No, thank you.” I was no longer hungry, but I did have another building need.

  “Let me get this cleaned up and then we will see about your bath.”

  I shifted in my chair slightly. “I, uh, I need…” I scrunched my nose and pointed toward the bathroom. I’d never had to ask for help expelling before. It was awkward, but walking alone was not an option.

  “You need to go to the bathroom?” he asked, setting the bowls in the sink and drying his hands.

  “Yes, please.” My face heated with embarrassment.

  “You don’t need to be shy, little one.” He soothed as he scooped me up and carried me to the bathroom.

  “There’s so many things I’ve never felt before,” I murmured, hiding my face.

  “I’m sure it will all come back to you. Soon.”

  Oliver ran ahead of us and planted himself in the bathroom.

  “Looks like he’s not letting you out of his sight.” Wade shook his head and set me gently on my feet. “Do you need help from here?”

  “I can do it.” I lied. I had no idea what I was doing but hopefully Oliver would help.

  “I’ll be right here if you need me. Call me when you are done. I don’t want you trying to walk anymore until we get you stronger.” It clearly was more of an edict than a request and I could feel the need to challenge him build inside of me, but that would have to wait.

  He closed the door a little bit, but I could still hear him moving around in the other room. I slid my clothes down and sat on the toilet. Relaxing my body, I let myself expel. The relief was amazing and just as I was trying to figure out how to ask Oliver what to do next, Wade returned.

  “Are you finished, Coral?”

  “I think so.”

  “Can I come in?”

  “Yes.”

  He opened the door slowly and smiled when he saw me still seated on the toilet.

  “Good girl.” He praised and those two words warmed my belly. He handed me a neat fold of cloth. “Use this and pat yourself dry.”