by Maren Smith
“Okay. But I want to tell you now. May I, Daddy?”
“When you call me that, you can do pretty much anything you want,” he answers with a low chuckle.
I lean into him, resting my cheek on one knee. “I’m so, so proud to be yours. To be your baby girl, your little, your kitten. Thank you for giving me this, all of these things. For helping me to feel safe with you. For leading me back to what I truly needed. I adore you already too, and I don’t need to know why. My heart tells me the truth.”
“Ah, my sweet little Kitten, come here.”
He pulls me into his lap and kisses me, long and hard. Then he gets up abruptly with me in his arms and carries me back to the big bed. He lays me on my back and strokes my body with gentle hands, making me light up with need. Then he straightens up and pulls a condom from the nightstand beside the bed, strips off his pajama bottoms and stands over me. And God, he is so beautiful. His cock is so big, I don’t know if this little body can manage to fit it inside, but oh, how I want to. My pussy is going wet, swelling in anticipation.
He climbs over me, reaching down to tease my already-hard clit, then he brushes at my opening with his fingers.
“You’re so wet already, Kitten.”
“It’s because I need you, Daddy. I need you now. Please.”
“I need you, too, baby. So damn much. Feel how hard Daddy is for you.”
He guides my hand to his cock, and it’s hard and thick, the tip as soft as velvet under my searching fingertips.
“It’s so pretty,” I tell him. “Please, Daddy, don’t make me wait.
He leans back on his knees to sheath his cock, and I lick my lips, waiting.
He covers my body with his once more, holding himself up on his arms to look down at me. I can see desire in his gleaming eyes, in the looseness of his mouth. Reaching down once more, he teases my slit, sliding his fingers up and down, just catching the tip of my clit, and pleasure is like fire in my veins.
“Do you want me inside you, Kitten?”
“Yes, Daddy. I do! I need to feel you inside me. I need you to fill me up, even though I’m not sure I can take all of you. But I want to try.”
“Why do you want me, Kitten?”
“Because I belong to you. Because you’re my Daddy, and I’m your kitten. And I’m only your kitten because I trust you to take care of me, because you’ve shown me that I can.”
“That’s my good girl,” he says, his tone low and full of gravel. “That’s my beautiful Kitten. Now lift your hips for Daddy.”
I do as I’m told, arching my hips, opening my thighs to welcome him in. He presses the tip of his thick cock at my opening, holding it there for so long I finally have to mewl at him.
“Ah, my Kitten girl,” he says as he slips just inside my body.
“Ohhhh….God, Daddy. It’s so big. And I’m just little.”
“You can do it, little one. Open for me,” he commands, his panting breath full of desire.
I take a breath, let it out, and he slides inside me, all his weight and thickness moving in my pussy, stretching me to the limit.
“Ah, God, you’re so tight, baby,” he grinds out, his body going tense.
He begins to move, surging into me, slowly at first as pleasure shafts through me, then faster, deeper, until we’re both panting and I’m moaning over and over—I can’t help it. And something about him being inside me makes me feel more owned than ever.
“I’m yours, my Daddy,” I murmur against his neck as my body begins to soar.
“And I am yours, my Kitten,” he says, his breath warm on my cheek.
He grabs my legs to wrap them around his waist, and I love the strength of him, the way he handles me as if I’m really as small as I feel. Then he lifts me and moves me up higher on the bed, as if I’m a doll, which I love so much. But I’m also now more wide open to him, allowing him to surge even deeper, and I’ve never felt so filled in my life.
With every strong thrust, pleasure pushes deeper into my system, until every cell in my body is hot and alive: my pussy, my hard nipples, even my skin. Pleasure rises, centers back in my aching pussy, heightening moment by moment, thrust by thrust. When he kisses my neck, sucking and biting, I know I can’t hold back any longer.
“Daddy, I need to come. May I, Daddy?”
“What do you say to Daddy?” he demands between clenched teeth as he presses into me.
“Please, Daddy. Pleeeeease…”
“Yes, come for Daddy, my good girl. My best Kitten.”
My body lets go almost before the words are out of his mouth, and I’m coming, coming, so hard I can’t breathe. So hard my pussy is clenching, squeezing his rigid flesh.
“Daddy! Oh, God!”
“Yes, that’s it, Kitten. Come for me. Ah…you come so hard for your Daddy, my beautiful girl. Yes!”
Then he’s coming, too, even as my climax is still coursing through me, and his orgasm makes him shudder so hard, and he’s jabbing into me, each jab punctuated by a gasping breath. His rhythm goes fast and jerky, and then he lets out a deep growl that shakes me down to my bones.
“Daddy,” I murmur into his neck, kissing the damp skin there, hoping it’s allowed.
But I can’t help it, I have to show him my gratitude. I have to taste his flesh—it’s salty and sweet, and he smells like the earth and leather and he smells like my Daddy, my own Daddy.
I’m shivering so hard, he wraps his arms around me and rolls onto his side, taking me with him, curling his big body around mine to keep me warm
We’re both panting hard, trying to catch our breath. My head is spinning, out of control. I know it because my heart is hammering and full of emotion—such strong emotion I’d have to question it if I were capable right now. But I’ll have to save questions for later. Right now I’m still small, and all I can do is feel. At this moment, I feel wonderful, in ways I’ve never known before. And right now, that’s enough.
Chapter Six
It’s been nearly three weeks since Daddy made me his Kitten, and I’ve never been happier. Emotion has built day by day, but I haven’t dared talk about it, which has been fine. Sort of. It’s so much harder to keep my heart—and my mouth—under control when I’m being small, or being his Kitten, but I’ve managed. Barely.
I’ve talked to Roxy about it, and after a few dire warnings about getting involved so quickly, she’s totally behind me. Protective, of course, but she has my back.
Tonight is the first time I arrive at his place on my own, having taken a Lyft over, since he’s on his way back from a business trip to LA. My mind has been so preoccupied with seeing my Daddy tonight, I’ve hardly paid attention to the city flashing by outside the car windows. When the car pulls up in front of his beautiful house, I hop out. Daddy called the Lyft for me, so I don’t have to worry about adding the tip or anything—he told me he’s taken care of it. It’s not the money that matters—it’s the being taken care of part that makes me so happy.
My heart pounds with anticipation as I let myself in the door and go straight to my room. It’s now filled with the teddy bears and stuffed unicorns Daddy’s gotten for me, a few more each week. He let me tie pretty ribbons in rainbow colors to the curtains as tie-backs, and there’s a new party dress laid out on the bed for me. I love Daddy’s presents!
I pick it up and carry it to the tall mirror, holding the pretty fabric up in front of me. Daddy knows exactly what I like, and I know it will fit me perfectly. It’s a pale-yellow cotton with a little white lace trim, and there’s a matching pair of lacy white panties with a yellow bow looped over the hanger. I smile at my reflection. My hazel eyes are wide with excitement, and my cheeks are flushed. I lay the dress down and go to the little vanity Daddy set up for me, find my pink lip gloss and dab at my lips. This one smells like strawberries and tastes like sugar, and Daddy and I both like it.
Then I go to my dresser and open the top drawer, where I keep all my kitten stuff. Inside are collars in baby blue, pale minty green and wh
ite leather, as well as my original pink one, all with matching ears. There’s also a collar with rainbows all over it that I love, and another with little metal studs in the shape of kittens on it that Daddy gave me just last week. He spoils me, but he says that’s what kittens need. He tells me that’s what I deserve, and I’ve learned to believe him. I didn’t know until now how badly I’ve needed to get past my old Dom’s abandonment and understand that I truly deserve good things. It’s one of the most valuable things I’ve gotten from this relationship.
But it’s time to immerse myself in little-kitten mode. I strip out of my jeans and t-shirt to change into my new dress and panties, standing in front of the mirror to tie the long yellow satin ribbon into a bow at my waist before pulling the little panties on. They’re ruffled on the butt, and I turn around, flip my dress up, and look over my shoulder to admire them. Smiling, I climb onto the bed, grab my favorite teddy—a snow-white bear with eyes the same green-and-gold hazel as my own—and open the coloring book I left it on the bed the other day. My crayon box is on the small white night table, and I pull my favorite colors from it and start to color.
Coloring helps me to sink into small space, allows my mind to release the thoughts of the day and simply be. That’s part of the beauty in being a little, and in being a kitten. There’s nothing to worry about in this space, other than keeping my pretty dresses clean, or making sure I have a teddy when I need to nap and Daddy has to work. I am so lucky.
Even luckier, because it’s not long before Daddy is home! I run to the door and he drops his bag and sweeps me into his arms, spinning me around, making me dizzy. Even dizzier when he kisses me and spanks my butt gently.
“The dress is perfect on you, baby girl.”
He sets me down and I twirl for him, which I know he likes.
“So pretty, baby. Do you like it?”
“I love it. Thank you so much, Daddy.”
“It’s so nice I think I need to give my girl a spanking.”
I shriek as he picks me up and tosses me over his shoulder as if I really am little—he’s that big and strong, and I love it. He carries me to my bed and lays me over his lap, pulling up my dress and yanking my new panties down to my knees.
“You know this hurts Daddy more than it does you,” he says.
Neither of us believes it, but it’s fun to pretend.
The spanking starts out gently enough, just an easy slapping on my bottom. But it quickly picks up in speed, the slaps coming harder, and I press my mound into his lap, my poor clit begging for release as my body fills with need. Need for his hard hands, for his lovely mouth, for his cock that’s really too big for this little girl.
“Yes, Daddy,” I pant. “Thank you, Daddy.”
He picks me up and stands me on my feet, holding me with one hand because he knows I get dizzy when spanks me so well, and with the other hand he pulls my white panties off.
“Can you stand, baby?” he asks.
I nod, and he unzips my dress and pulls it over my head, leaving me naked.
“Go get your white collar and ears. I need my kitten tonight.”
I do as he says, coming back with both items in my hands. I hold them out for him, and he takes them from me. Without being told, I know to sink to my knees, to lift my hair so he can buckle the collar onto my neck, then I drop my hair and hold my head high as he puts my ears on. He smiles at me as he pets my head, my cheek, strokes my breast.
“Such a pretty kitty. The prettiest kitty ever born. Come into my lap, Kitten.”
I climb up, my body buzzing, my mind going to that soft kitten place, and curl up in his lap. He strokes my back and I purr for Daddy. He kisses my cheek, then takes my hand and kisses the back of it, then each finger, one at a time, making my heart soar. He pulls back to gaze into my eyes, and his are so full of delight, I can’t hold back.
“I love you, Daddy.”
He blinks, and I have one terrifying moment thinking I spoke too soon, that I shouldn’t have said it.
“Baby. My Kitten. I…”
When he pauses my heart does a huge, hurting flip in my chest. I want to cry, but the tears are stuck in my throat.
“Nono,” he starts again, his face more serious than I’ve ever seen it. “We need to talk about this another time, when you’re not already in kitten or little mode.”
I bite my lip, and inside me is some sort of tightness building, squeezing my chest. He’s watching me, not saying a word, and I can’t stand it. I can’t. I get up and tear my kitten ears off.
“Baby, what are you doing?”
“I…I don’t know! Apparently I have no idea what I’m doing!”
I grab my discarded jeans and top from the chair where I set them down when I was changing, and get into them.
“Nono, stop, baby.”
But I can’t stop. I slide my feet into my shoes while he stares at me, wide-eyed.
“What are you doing, baby girl? I just don’t think we should have that serious a conversation while you’re in little space. We shouldn’t have any serious conversations in those vulnerable spaces, remember?”
“But what if that’s when I’m feeling it? What am I supposed to do?”
He pushes a hand through his thick hair with a deep sigh. “I don’t know. I have to think.”
“Good. You think. Let me know when you’re done.”
I race downstairs, and I think the shock of me actually leaving delays him, because I’m out the door and halfway down the block before I hear his footsteps behind me.
“Noelle! Stop!”
But I can’t. I won’t. He has hurt me to the core. And I feel like a fool. How did I let myself trust him? How did I let this happen again? I’m so confused, because I am in little space, and these are very grown-up thoughts, but my brain is shifting at a hundred miles an hour, gaining the adult me more and more with every step.
As I move down the block and onto the next, the tears start,
And wipe them away.
“Oh my God, oh my God,” I mutter as I keep walking as fast as I can. “I’m such an idiot.”
I keep crying, trying to hold back the enormous sob building in my chest until I reach my own door, and go inside.
Somehow my apartment looks like a stranger’s, and some part of me knows it’s because part of me is still in little space, but it’s also because his house has become my home in this last month.
Not anymore. No, now I have no home. Or, that’s what it feels like.
I throw myself down on the sofa and cry, finally allowing the sobs to come out, and it hurts. It hurts that I let myself trust him, that I let him into the deepest places in my soul. And he doesn’t love me.
He doesn’t love me.
I can’t stop crying. The wound is too deep, too fresh. Too hard to swallow. The sobs are so sharp, I feel as if my chest has been opened up, as if I’m bleeding emotion, rather than crying tears.
“Oh, God…”
There’s a sharp knock at the door, and I know it’s him.
“Noelle? Open up.”
“No!” Another sob comes out along with the word.
“Please, baby. We need to talk.”
“I’m not your baby anymore.”
There’s an infinitely long, silent moment before he speaks again.
“I know how that must have seemed to you. And I’m sorry. I wasn’t clear.”
“Oh, I think you were plenty clear,” I tell him as I sniff, mad at the tears that won’t stop falling. Mad that little space is making me respond to this like a child.
“No, I wasn’t. I need you to hear me out—we owe each other that.”
He’s silent for a moment while my mind spins, unable to take it all in. Then he says, “Baby? I’m going to give you some time to come down. And I’m calling Roxy because you shouldn’t be alone. Then we’ll talk when you’re no longer in little space. Okay? But know that I’m here for you, and we will work this out.”
I hear his footsteps as he leaves and I bur
row into the pillows, pulling a throw blanket over my shaking body. I hope Roxy comes soon. I need her. I need someone. I haven’t felt this alone since…
Fresh tears pour down my cheeks, and I wait.
By the time Roxy knock at my door I’m sort of all cried out. I get up to answer the door, and she pulls me into her arms, hugging me tight.
“Come on—let’s sit down, Noelle.”
She leads me to the couch, and I curl against her side.
“Kane called me and told me everything, but you need to know he was very clear that he was letting me know only his side of it. So you and I are going to talk this out, okay?”
“Okay.”
“What happened with you two? Why are you so upset?”
I tell her everything I can remember, everything that was said, everything I felt and still feel.
“Honey, I think there are a few things going on here,” she says. “The big thing is fucking Patrick. He left you with scars that run a hell of a lot deeper than your cancer did. And I get it, but it’s time to purge that shit. Because it’s not only fucking you up, it’s fucking up what seems to be an amazing connection with Kane. I’m telling you, the way he presented all of this to me gives me mad respect for the guy. I believe he wants only the best for you and that he’s a true Dom, the real thing. Do you believe that?”
I sniff. “I…yes, I do. And now I feel like an idiot and a terrible brat, but I’m still mad and I can’t even figure out why, exactly.”
“That’s what emotional baggage does to us. Plus, you’re still coming down and probably crashing like crazy. So I have an idea. Why don’t we go get in your bed and watch some movies? I’ll make tea and we’ll just bring you down nice and slow.”
