Finding Kyler (The Kennedy Boys #1)

by Siobhan Davis

  “It’s nice to meet you.” I keep a smile plastered on my face.

  “Can you show her to the bleachers?”

  May pats his face affectionately. “Of course, sweetheart. You run along. I’ll look after this pretty lady.”

  “So you’re the girl from Ireland?” May inquires as she leads me out the main doors and across the muddy path. My feet squelch in the soft ground, and I’m regretting not wearing my boots.

  “That’d be me.” I send her a coy smile.

  “Kyler told me what happened to your parents. I’m very sorry for your loss.”

  You could knock me down with a feather, but I cover my reaction well. “Thank you.” The usual thorny ball of emotion swells in my throat.

  “He’s worried about you.” The edge of the dirt track arises on our right as I look at her as if she has ten heads. She smiles knowingly. “He’s all bark, but underneath he’s a big softie.”

  I think of how he was with me last night and this morning, and I know she’s right. “How long have you worked here?” I deliberately attempt to direct the conversation to more neutral territory.

  “Rick and I own the track. It’s been in his family since the nineteen thirties.” A dark cloud passes over her features. “Some of the greatest motocross champions trained in this facility.” A note of pride laces her tone.

  Taking my elbow, she steers me around to the bleachers. We step up, sliding along a bench at the midway point. There’s a good vantage point from this position, and my eyes skim over the track. May leans her elbows on her knees, a sad, faraway look in her eye. For some inexplicable reason, I feel the need to cheer her up. “Tell me what you love most about it.”

  She sits up straighter. “I love the family atmosphere at the track. A lot of these kids come to us from age four, and they are with us until they turn pro. And even after they leave, they gravitate here whenever they have downtime. Rick and I couldn’t have kids, but I never felt like I missed out because of this place. These boys are my family, and I love them all as if they were my own.”

  I twist around to face her. “I saw you with Kyler. He’s like that for you?”

  She nods. “He’s a sweet boy. A lousy judge of character, but none of us are perfect.” My surprise clearly shows on my face. “He talks to me. I know what’s happened, but even if he hadn’t told me, I would’ve known. He’s been coming here since he was ten, and even though he’s always seemed burdened, it’s way worse now. He’s withdrawn. I figure it’s his way of protecting himself, but I worry about all he’s missing out on. Apart from the track and his motocross ambition, he doesn’t seem to live for much else, and that concerns me enormously.”

  At that precise moment, Kyler emerges from the warehouse, decked out in blue and white racing gear. He stops to talk to Rick for a few minutes, and they gesture wildly with their hands. Rick slaps him on the back before reentering the warehouse, and Kyler pushes his bike out onto the track.

  Swinging his leg over the pillion, he grasps the handlebars in his gloved hands. He’s wearing heavy boots that cover his calves, stopping just short of his knees. He pulls the throttle and kicks the bike into gear. His knees and elbows are bent as he stands up and the bike zooms forward. I can’t see his face under the helmet, but his posture screams focus and concentration.

  May is watching the expression on my face. “You’ve never been to a track before?”

  My eyes stay locked on Kyler as he picks up speed. “Not a motocross one. I used to visit Mondello Park with my dad. It’s Ireland’s only international racing track. My granddad used to work there when it first opened, building engines for some of the racecars. My dad basically grew up in the place.”

  I turn and face her, realizing I’m being rude. “He used to take me a few times a year, from when I was this high.” I lower my hand in demonstration. A slow smile adorns my lips. “I loved it. Loved the noise and the crowds. I can still hear the roar of the cars as they prepared to race.”

  She beams at me. “I can see that. Dirt bikes are a little different, but it’s no less exciting. It’s become a very popular spectator sport. We don’t host races here anymore, it’s purely a training facility, but I think you’d like it here.”

  Kyler glides around the track out of sight at the far end. “Yeah, I think I would. Maybe I’ll get Kyler to bring me again.”

  May’s smile appears brittle. When she speaks, her voice breaks a little. “You should do that. I, uh, should get back. Will you be okay by yourself?”

  I worry that I’ve offended her somehow, but rethinking my words, I don’t know what I said that might have upset her. “I’ll be fine. It was nice talking with you.”

  “You too, sweetie.” She turns to leave but stops at the end of the row. “Ky is a bit lost right now, but he has a good heart. He needs friends, and I think you could be good for him. Be patient.”

  Our gazes lock and a sort of shared understanding passes between us. I bob my head, and she turns and walks away.

  The next hour flies by. I’m mesmerized by Kyler. His passion, dedication, and obvious focus are such a turn-on. As I observe the way in which he commands the bike, and the skill with which he maneuvers his body to work seamlessly with the flow of the bike, it’s clear that he’s very talented. Now I understand his fixation with exercise and nutrition. Even though I’m no expert, the sport clearly requires huge levels of stamina and fitness.

  Kyler leans the bike at the bottom of the bleachers, resting it against the edge of the structure. When he rips off his helmet, his hair is flat on the top of his head, with the longer strands plastered to his sweaty forehead. His skin is red and flushed as he takes the steps two at a time toward me.

  My eyes scan the length of him as he shunts down the row toward me, pulling his jersey up and over his head. He plops down beside me, breathless and grinning. Sweat mixes with aftershave in a scent that is uniquely male and completely enchanting. Call me crazy, but I have a sudden urge to bury my head in his neck and soak it up. “You’re drooling,” he pants out, and I smack his arm.

  “Was not,” I lie, giving him a look that dares him to challenge me. He unstraps his neck brace and whatever form of chest protection he’s wearing until he’s sitting beside me in only his multicolored track pants. Morning sunlight glints off his naked chest, highlighting his sweat-slickened abs. Heat darkens my eyes as I ogle him without any pretense. “But I most definitely am now,” I admit truthfully.

  “You have to stop looking at me like that.” His statement lacks substance, and I quirk an eyebrow. “I only have so much restraint.”

  “Screw restraint.” I angle my body into his, running the tip of one finger down his glistening chest. I might be abnormal, but the sight and smell of him like this is hugely arousing.

  Without warning, he lifts me sideways onto his lap and smashes his mouth against mine. I scrape my fingers through his hair, tugging on it sharply as he urges my lips apart. His tongue sweeps into my mouth, and his scent surrounds me as I cling to him possessively. Clamping a hand at the back of my neck, he tilts my head to the side and deepens the kiss. Stars explode behind my eyes, and I’m melting under the power of his touch. If feels like my own personal slice of heaven on earth.

  Someone loudly clears their throat, and we instantly break apart. May is standing in the row in front, her hands outstretched, her fingers curling around two bottles of water. “I thought you might need to cool down.”

  Neither of us misses the double entendre. A red flush creeps over my neck and up my face as I slide off his lap and meekly take the offered bottle of water.

  “Thanks, May.” Kyler probes her face as he accepts the drink.

  “Can you stick around? We could use a hand or two.” Her disapproving gaze bounces between us. Kyler looks to me.

  “I don’t mind. I’m not in work until later.”

  “Count us in.” He opens th
e water and chugs it down his throat.

  “Great, thanks.”

  Kyler stands but she motions for him to sit back down. “The little monsters don’t arrive for another hour. Stay.” She pins him with a serious look. “Talk.” Her gaze flits to me with purpose, and I know she’s sending him some silent message. I instantly stiffen, feeling the weight of her dissent. I thought we had gotten along earlier, but now I’m second-guessing myself.

  She doesn’t approve. That much is blatantly obvious.

  May walks off without another word, her lips pinched together. Kyler and I sit in silence for a few minutes. I drink from my water, grappling with my churning mind. Eventually I can take no more of the silence. “What was all that about?”

  He smooths his hair off his forehead as he leans back in his seat. Muscles flex and bunch in his chest and his jaw pops in and out, as he stares ahead. I wait patiently for him to speak. “Don’t take it personally. I can already tell that May likes you, but I know what she’s going to say.” He takes a quick slug of his water.

  “Spill, Ky.” I suspect I know, but I’d rather hear him say it.

  A small grin teases the corners of his mouth. “That’s the first time you’ve called me Ky.” I pierce him with a deadly look, and he raises his palms in conciliation. “I like hearing it, that’s all.” He sits up, leaning his elbows on his knees. “It’s because we’re cousins.”

  I grimace as he confirms my suspicion. This whole situation is so frustrating. There is nothing in the constitution that says I can’t date my cousin, and it’s not as if we grew up together. He’s a complete stranger to me, and our chemistry is off the charts—if God didn’t want us together, why hotwire us to react so explosively to each other’s touch?

  Although, I’m not naïve, and I can easily imagine how people might judge us. Judgy narrow-mindedness is one of my pet peeves, and this isn’t the first time I’ve been forced to confront reality in such a personal way.

  I’ve guessed this was partly responsible for Kyler keeping his distance, but now I think it’s time we laid our cards on the table. “Does that matter to you?” I eyeball him as I wait for his reply.

  “That’s a bit of a loaded question.” He watches me carefully as he tips the bottle into his mouth, draining the last few drops.

  “I’m not asking for an in-depth analysis of the legal, social, and moral implications of kissing your cousin. I’m asking how you feel about it. Do you think it’s wrong?”

  He sits up, holding my chin in his hand. “I think you already know how I feel about that. If I wasn’t into it, last night or just now wouldn’t have happened. That isn’t the issue.”

  “Then what is?”

  He cups my face gently. “May is one of the nicest, most tolerant people I know. If she reacts like that, imagine how everyone else would react? People won’t approve, especially not in my parents’ social circles. My father”—he grinds his teeth as he says the word—“told us you were strictly off limits for that very reason.”

  He releases my face and looks down at his feet. “Maybe we shouldn’t start something we can’t finish.” His Adam’s apple jumps in his throat as he looks up at me. “Maybe we should put a stop to this right now.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  I stand up, lengthening my spine as I look down at him. “I didn’t take you for a coward, but that’s exactly what you are. Either you’re too chicken to tell me you’re not into me, or you’re running scared at the first sign of dissent. Either way, it means the same thing. It doesn’t matter anyway.” I move to walk past him. “We kissed a few times. It’s no big deal. Forget about it.”

  He stands up, taking my elbow and holding me in place. “Don’t do that.”

  “Relax, Kyler. You’ve made your point and I’m agreeing, so let’s move past it and go help May.” I try to wriggle out of his grip, but he maintains a firm hold.

  “I didn’t say I wanted to stop this thing between us, just that it might be the smart thing to do.”

  I glare at him. “Now you’re splitting hairs. Say what you mean and mean what you say.” He pins me with a teasing smile, and that pisses me off. “Stop it.” Anger starts tunneling to the surface. He grins again, and I nudge him in the ribs. “You’re being an ass.”

  He sweeps his thumb across my lower lip. “You’re incredibly hot when you’re mad.” Hauling me into his body, he leaves his hands hanging loosely against my lower back as he buries his face in my neck.

  I shove my hands into his chest and push him away. “Stop fucking with me, Kyler. My head’s enough of a mess already. One minute you’re saying we should stop this and the next you’re flirting? What the hell do you want from me?”

  His smile fades. Stepping away, he reaches down to grab his gear. Silence engulfs us. “I don’t know,” he admits after a bit, looking me straight in the eye. His troubled expression says it all. “I don’t know what I want.”

  I’m disappointed but it’s not as if I can tell him what he wants. He’s confused, and nothing I say will change that. I have to respect his opinion and accept him at his word. My priority now is protecting my heart from further attack. Tossing the horrible feelings of rejection aside, I face him with a placid expression, determined to be mature about this. “Okay. But until you do, I need you to stay away from me.”

  The atmosphere is strained when we return to the main building, but if Rick and May notice, they don’t say anything. I assist May with registrations while Rick and Kyler help the kids get kitted out and set up on the bikes. The place is utter bedlam as twenty or more kids, all under the age of ten, descend on the front room. I can hardly think over the noise. They chase each other around the room, laughing and giggling, and it’s impossible to hold onto my dour mood. I find myself quietly chuckling at their antics.

  When the kids are outside, and my ears are functioning normally again, I help May prepare food in the kitchen. We work in silence, initially, but friction is ripe in the air, growing more fraught with each passing second until, eventually, I can’t take it any longer. “You disapprove,” I say, without looking up from my chopping board.

  She sighs, stopping what she’s doing. “It’s not you, sweetie, and it’s not that I disapprove, per se, but”—she gently takes my arm, forcing me to stop working—“I know Ky’s folks, and they’re good people, but appearance is everything to them. This community does not look favorably on nonconformance.” She takes the knife out of my hand, placing it on the counter. Holding both my hands in hers, she fixes her sincere gaze on me. “You are grieving, and Ky is still hurting over Addison and Brad’s betrayal. Neither of you need any additional complications. People will not respond well to your relationship, and I worry about what that’d do to both of you.”

  “We’re not in a relationship,” I grumble, wanting to at least set her straight on that front. “It’s only been a few kisses.”

  “I’ve seen enough today to know this is no simple flirtation. I may be past my prime, but I still remember my teenage years. With great fondness, I might add,” she says, with a teasing grin. “And I’d bet my last dollar you two have strong feelings for each other.”

  “But you don’t want us to act on that,” I paraphrase.

  She looks apologetic. “No. I think that’s inviting a whole world of trouble.”

  I chew on the inside of my cheek as I try to compartmentalize my feelings. “I mean no disrespect, May, but that’s kind of insulting. You’re basically insinuating that neither of us are strong enough to deal with the backlash, and, fair enough, you know Ky, but you don’t know me. You have no idea what I can and can’t tolerate. The things I’ve had to endure. Things that could’ve sent me into a downward spiral if I’d let the situation get the better of me. I’m stronger than you think.”

  “I’ve offended you, and I’m sorry about that. I’m only trying to help, because I care about Kyler, and he cares about you.
He probably doesn’t realize how much, but I see it. And now I see you, and in so many ways, you are perfect for him. You have the power to bring him back, to help him move on. But it could go the other way, too. No matter how you spin it, dating your cousin is taboo around these parts. The backlash would be severe. You could destroy him, and I’m not going to sit back and pretend that I’m comfortable with that. I meant what I said earlier, he’s like a son to me.”

  My spine stiffens, and I remove my hands from hers. “I would never deliberately hurt him, or anyone. You don’t see me. You don’t see me at all.” I step back, reeling, as hurt and anger wage an internal war inside me.

  “Faye.” She steps toward me, and I raise a hand in warning. “I’m not saying you’d intentionally hurt him. That’s not what I meant at all. Can’t you see that pursuing this puts both of you at risk? I’m only trying to stop you from making a mistake.”

  “That’s not your call to make,” Kyler says gruffly, startling us both. My head whips around. He’s standing in the middle of the open doorway, sending daggers at May. He extends his hand toward me. “We’re leaving.”

  May moves toward him, a crestfallen look on her face. “Kyler, I—”

  “I don’t want to hear it,” Kyler says, cutting her off. “I’m way too pissed for this conversation right now, and I don’t want to say something I’ll regret. Just leave it, May.”

  Ky takes my hand and pulls me out of the room. Instead of going toward the warehouse like I expect, he guides me out the side door and around the back of the warehouse. Veins protrude in his neck as he drags me up a hilly slope. The sun rests high in the clear blue sky, beating a burning path straight for us. Little beads of sweat break out on my brow, but I don’t complain as he steers me to the top of the hill.

  He drops down on the ground, and I sit beside him, crossing my legs in front of me. I fan my face with my hands. “Here.” He hands me a bottle of water and a sandwich from his backpack.

  “Thanks.” I gratefully guzzle the water. “How much did you hear?”