Finding Kyler (The Kennedy Boys #1)

by Siobhan Davis

  “Relax, dude.” Brad pokes Ky in the arm. “I’m messing with ya. We can appear lovey-dovey without having to do anything intimate. You know this is the best way of protecting her.”

  “You know I can take care of myself.” I glare at them both.

  “I saw the state of Peyton, so, believe me, I know.” Brad grins. “But it can’t help to have back up.”

  When he puts it like that, it’s hard to continue the argument. “Okay. We’ll give it a go.”

  After Brad leaves, I make Ky leave too, while I get changed. It affords me some time to get my head together.

  I meet him out by the pool, dropping into the lounger beside him. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks me for the umpteenth time.

  “I told you, I’m grand.”

  He looks around briefly before leaning in and planting a feather-soft kiss on my lips. “When Brad texted me, I almost crashed my car. I was so worried about you.”

  “I’m not that fragile,” I protest. “I know how to defend myself. You shouldn’t worry so much.”

  He takes both my hands in his as he stares sincerely into my eyes. “I like worrying about you, and I want you to know that, to understand that you’re not alone anymore. And you never will be. Not as long as I’m around.”

  I pause considerably before replying, my mind churning at ninety miles an hour. “Only in the background, though, right?” He frowns. “You don’t want people to know about us. You’d rather we kept things secret, and I’m not sure that’s what I want.”

  Sitting up, he swings his legs around, leaning forward on his elbows. “That’s not my preference, Faye. But you saw how Brad reacted, and he’s our friend.”

  I sit up, mirroring his position. “He’ll come around, and others will too. It’ll be awful for a while, but then it’ll blow over. Some other scandal will crop up, and we’ll be yesterday’s news.”

  He cups my face. “If I believed that, then I’d say do it. But Brad is right—this sort of prejudice is deep-rooted. It’s not something people will forget in the short term. Maybe not ever.”

  I shake his hand off. “So we hide forever? That’s what you’re saying?”

  He presses his forehead to mine. “Please, baby. I’m trying to protect you here. To spare you all that again. Why can’t we just continue on as we are for now?”

  I pull my head back, not caring if he can see the tears glistening in my eyes. “Because I don’t want to sneak around! I want to be able to kiss you and hold your hand and go on dates and do all the other normal stuff that couples do! Not snatch a few stolen moments here and there behind closed doors!”

  Ky pulls me into his arms, resting his chin on top of my head. “I want that too, but we have to be patient.” He runs his hand up and down my back, but it’s not comforting this time.

  The sound of approaching footfall has us jerking apart but not quickly enough.

  “What’s wrong?” Keaton asks, appearing in front of us just as I shuck out of Ky’s embrace.

  “Nothing.” I shoot him my best replica smile.

  “Why are you upset?” A note of suspicion creeps into his tone.

  “I had a run-in with some girls at school, and it upset me, but I’m fine now.” I hop up, planting another faux smile on my face. I look down at Ky. “Thanks for the chat. It helped.”

  I walk away, and Keaton calls after me. “Mom said we’re leaving in a half hour. You need to pack your stuff.”

  “On it!” I shout back, sprinting for my room.

  I stuff a load of random clothes in my bag and deposit it in the empty lobby on my way outside. I want to call in on Lana before we leave to make sure she’s okay.

  Greta stonewalls me at the door, not even inviting me in. Her expression is coldly polite. “Lana is sick, and she isn’t taking visitors at this time. I’ll tell her you called.” She moves to close the door in what is a deliberate, rude maneuver.

  What the heck?

  I plant my booted foot in the door, stopping it from closing. “I hope it isn’t serious? Is there anything I can do to help?”

  Looking down at my feet, she narrows her lips. “That’s very considerate of you, Faye, but Lana needs her rest. It’s getting late, and you don’t want to miss your ferry. Goodnight.” She pushes my foot out and shuts the door in my startled face.

  As I walk back through the woods, I can’t shake the feeling that a storm is coming.

  And I’m not talking about the meteorological kind.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  It’s official: I want to relocate permanently to Nantucket. I’ve been enthralled with the island from the first sighting of the lighthouse as we crested the harbor. Hundreds of yachts bob in the water, fronting magnificent homes that are clustered together, bordered by shrubbery and trees. Elevated American flags waft gently in the breeze.

  My nose is glued to the window of the car now, soaking it all up. Quaint old-worldly street lamps bathe the town in a splendiferous glow as we glide by. Charming cobblestone streets sit between elegant buildings and storefronts, rimmed by pristine tree-lined paths as Ky effortlessly maneuvers the car through the main town. Alex sits beside him in the passenger seat, staring vacantly out the window. Every so often, Ky catches my eye in the mirror, and we share a series of loaded looks.

  “Someone’s getting laid tonight,” Kalvin teases in my ear, not properly understanding the situation.

  I pinch his thigh hard, and he jumps in his seat. “Shut up.”

  As we move farther out, the properties become grander and more widespread than the houses down by the harbor.

  Kyler stops in front of a shuttered wooden gate, inputting a code on the adjoining keypad. He waits patiently as the gate slowly retracts, granting us entry. We cruise up a gravel-lined driveway that gives way to smooth asphalt as we approach the imposing house. This property is no less striking than the Wellesley house, although the style is completely different.

  Set over three levels, the cream- and brown-bricked façade hosts two spherical turrets on each side and a massive circular latticed window in the center. Ky brings the car to a halt in a square courtyard bordered by neat low-level hedging. Bunches of thriving white roses are in flowerbeds under the ledges of all the front windows. Hopping out, he walks around to his mom’s side and opens the door, helping her out.

  A stout, matronly woman opens the main door of the house. She waits with her hands clasped neatly in front of her.

  The boys take the bags out of the boot while I loop my arm in Alex’s.

  “Good evening, ma’am.” The woman extends her hand to Alex.

  “Good to see you, Mrs. Beaton. Is everything in order?” Alex shakes her hand and then moves past her into a well-lit hallway.

  Tons of family photos adorn the walls as we proceed into the warm kitchen-cum-dining room. Dark stained wooden beams crisscross overhead. A wide marble island unit with stools on both sides rests in the center of the kitchen. Clean, white kitchen cupboards surround it.

  Mouthwatering smells tempt me, and my stomach grumbles on demand. Alex leads me to the far end of the kitchen and out to an adjoining conservatory. A long table has been dressed for dinner, but my gaze goes past it to the space outside. Alex smiles at my audible gasp. She gives me a gentle nudge. “Go. Explore while I help Mrs. Beaton serve dinner.”

  I open the glass double doors and step out onto the beige-stoned patio. A gigantic infinity pool slopes over the edge of the property, the water dappling gently as it curves out of sight. A high wooden railing resides on the other side of the outdoor space, broken only by a steep set of steps leading down to the beach several feet below. It was impossible to tell from the main entrance that the property was this high up and bordering the magnificent sandy beach.

  Once again, I’m blown away by the sheer magnitude of the Kennedy fortune.

  A warm hand brushes
against my lower back, and I instantly know it’s Ky. “Well, what’s the verdict?”

  I tilt my head back and look up at him. “I love it here. The view is beautiful.”

  “That it is,” he intones in that deep, rich, sultry voice of his, looking only at me.

  Intense emotion cuts through me at his words and his expression, and I’m reminded once again of how magnetic he is. Kyler puts every other boy I’ve known to shame. However, it doesn’t detract from the fact that we seem to be at an impasse of sorts.

  “Dinner’s up!” Kal yells, and we move inside to take our seats. Mrs. Beaton has laid out an impressive spread, and while it looks like there’s enough to feed twenty, the boys waste little time in demolishing the lot. Kalvin keeps up a steady one-sided stream of chatter the whole way through dinner. Keaton and Keanu are sullen and quiet, like their mother, and the only sentiment Kent displays is animosity as he sends daggers across the table at Ky and me.

  Alex divvies out ice cream after dismissing Mrs. Beaton. I had expected her to stick around for the weekend, but Ky explained that they fend for themselves during their stay.

  The more I hear about this place, the more I’m falling in love with it.

  Keaton gives me a grand tour of the house after dinner. While there’s no denying how maze-like the property is, there’s a homely quality to this house that is lacking in the Wellesley house. This feels more lived in, and while everything seems to have a place, it’s not rigidly organized and expertly color-coordinated. It’s a bit of a mish-mash of styles and a blend of luxury and chintz, but it works.

  Keaton has been unusually quiet since we arrived, and I sense something is wrong. “Is something up?”

  “Why would you ask that?”

  I pick up on an edge to his tone. “Have I done something to upset you?”

  He stops at the top of the stairs. “I don’t know. You tell me—have you?”

  The doorbell chimes before I can reply to his leading question. “That’s weird,” Keaton mumbles, starting to descend the stairs. “I thought Kaden and Keven weren’t arriving until tomorrow.”

  Kent opens the door and curses. James runs a hand anxiously through his hair. “Can I come in, son?”

  “Does Mom know you’re coming?” He steps aside to let him in.

  “No. I thought I’d surprise her.”

  Kent laughs drily. “It’ll be a surprise all right.”

  I step into the hallway and James notices us for the first time. Keaton stands awkwardly beside me, shuffling on his feet. “Hi, Dad.”

  “I’ve missed you all,” James admits just as Kalvin and Ky appear in the doorway of the kitchen.

  “What are you doing here?” Alex asks, appearing behind her sons. She’s a little shaky, and tears glisten in her sad eyes.

  “I thought we could talk some more.” James’ eyes are pleading. “And there is something I need to tell you. It was too urgent to wait.”

  “Okay.” Alex turns to us en masse. “Can you please take a walk while your father and I speak in private?”

  We make our way down to the beach in relative silence. Kalvin spots a lit bonfire up ahead, and he steers us off the Kennedys’ private beach and out to the next beach. Ky walks beside me, and the triplets take up the rear, talking quietly among themselves.

  As we approach the bonfire, I spot several shadowy forms up ahead and hear the contagious beat of music. “You know these people?”

  “We know most of these families. Everyone usually only comes here on weekends and for extended vacations. Their parents are all wealthy and successful, like ours. I wouldn’t call them friends, but they’re fine to hang out with every now and then.”

  A blustery gust of wind sweeps the length of the beach, and I shiver. I should’ve thought to bring a jumper—sorry, sweater—before I left. Even though we’ve been enjoying unbelievably warm weather, it’s still autumn, and there’s a definite chill in the air at night. Add our proximity to the sea and the temps are downright nasty. My flimsy white top is no barrier to the elements.

  “I’m going back to grab a hoodie,” I tell Ky. “I’ll be back in a few.”

  He pulls his sweater off his head, offering it to me. “Don’t bother. Take this.”

  “Then you’ll be cold. It’s practically Baltic out here.” I thrust it back into his hands. “I’ll be quick. You’ll barely know I’m missing.”

  Shucking his sweater back on, he walks back with me. “I’ll come with.”

  I stop dead in the sand. “Stop fussing. Stay. Be with your brothers. I am perfectly capable of walking up and down the beach by myself.”

  He opens his mouth to argue, no doubt, but clamps his lips shut again, obviously thinking better of it.

  I trudge back to the house and head for the bedroom Kyler put my bag in earlier. I root out my warmest sweater and pull it on.

  I’m just closing the door behind me, when the sound of arguing reaches my ears. Alex and James are really going for it, shouting at one another without restraint. I don’t think it’s eavesdropping if you can readily hear every word without trying.

  “No way, James! She isn’t a part of this family! She doesn’t belong, and she certainly doesn’t deserve it.”

  My heart plummets to my toes as her words sink skin-deep.

  “I agree, but we don’t have much choice. We’re over a barrel here. It’s legally binding, Alex, and I don’t see how we can extricate ourselves from this …”

  A small squeak flies out of my mouth. They can only be talking about me. Agonizing grief presses down on my chest, restricting my breathing. I deliberately blot out the rest of their conversation—I don’t want to hear any more.

  I race down the stars, desperate to flee as wracking sobs threaten to burst free.

  As soon as I step outside, the harsh night air cuts across my cheeks like a knife, matching the slicing, dicing pain slashing my insides to shreds.

  How ironic that just as I’m starting to feel like I belong, like I could make this family mine, they’ve decided they don’t want me.

  Kyler drops down onto the sand beside me. I feel his penetrating gaze burning a hole in the side of my skull, but I keep my eyes locked on the sea, watching the waves tumble and roll toward the shore. Up the beach, the bonfire burns bright, and the sound of soft laughter tickles my eardrums.

  “Faye, it’s n—”

  I silence him with a shake of my head.

  Understanding that I’m not in the mood for talking, he nods, and we sit in amicable silence for a while. I draw strength from his quiet companionship and the warmth he exudes.

  A chafing wind swirls through the air, blowing my hair across my face. I shiver, even under my sweater, but I make no move to leave. I don’t want to go back to that house. I’d rather freeze my butt off out here than listen to more rejection.

  A strong arm creeps around my shoulders, and Kyler pulls me firmly into his warmth. I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes. The only time the numbness goes away, the only time I can feel something real and true, is when I’m with Ky like this.

  I have a strong suspicion it’s the same for him.

  Although I think we need each other more than either of us would like to contemplate, let alone admit, I can’t afford to think like that anymore. It’s clear that my days with this family are numbered.

  “They weren’t talking about you.”

  “What?” I croak, lifting my head up. I stare into his stunning, earnest eyes.

  “You didn’t hear the full conversation. They were discussing Courtney.”

  I twist around in his arm, hating the little nugget of hope that blossoms to life at his words. “That makes absolutely no sense.” I pucker my brow.

  “I know.” He scratches the side of his head. “I didn’t hear the start of the conversation, only the part just before you came out of
your room, but her name was clearly mentioned, and even if it hadn’t been, I would’ve known they weren’t talking about you because we all care about you so much.” My heart starts a tentative happy dance. “You are a part of this family now, whether you like it or not.”

  I shuck out of his arms, sitting up on my knees. “Are you sure they weren’t talking about me?”

  I hate how desperate I sound, but the prospect of losing this family has brought all my emotions to the surface in stark clarity. Dysfunctional and messed up as they are, they have burrowed their way into my affections. And it’s more than this attraction to Kyler. They have all come to mean something to me.

  I don’t want to leave anymore.

  I want to stay.

  Kyler takes my hands in his. “I hate that you’ve been dragged into the middle of this. I didn’t want that for you.”

  A light bulb goes off in my head. “That’s what you meant, at the start, when you said I didn’t belong.” He nods. “You were trying to protect me?” I hear the incredulity in my own tone.

  “Yes. Why is that so hard to believe?” A quizzical look passes over his features.

  “Because you hardly knew me then.”

  He shakes his head. “I know you don’t really believe that.”

  Air knocks out of my lungs.

  He tucks wayward strands of my hair back behind my ears, leveling an intense look my way. “I saw you that first night, in the same way you saw me.” I nod slowly in agreement. “More than that. I felt you reaching into me, pushing through my barrier in a way no one has been able to do before. At first, I panicked, but then I understood. I felt you too. I knew instantly you were inherently good, like an angel.” He smooths his thumb over my cheek, smiling at me adoringly. “But I saw the emptiness and grief inside you, and I knew all the crap going on in our family had the potential to hurt you. I didn’t want that for you. I still don’t. And it’s the reason why I’ve been fighting this thing between us.”

  Sadness stretches over him. “But, ultimately, I’m too Goddamned selfish. I’m tired of trying to stay away from you. You asked me before to find myself. Not to commit until I had. But, the thing is, I can’t find myself without you.” He cups my face tenderly. “I need you, and you need me. I don’t want to deny this anymore. It’s killing me. I want to be with you, to cherish you in the way you deserve to be cherished.”