My heart swells to bursting.
“I’m yours, Faye. I’m all in. If you’ll still have me.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
My insides have melted into a puddle of goo. “I—”
“Wait,” Ky interrupts me. “Don’t say anything yet. There’s more.”
Leaning in, I brush my mouth against the corner of his. “I don’t need to hear any more. That was pretty perfect.”
He winds his hand through my hair, holding me in place by my neck. We’re so close our noses are touching. “I’m so sorry, Faye.” His voice is soft, barely more than a whisper on the breeze. “For everything.” There’s no mistaking his sincerity. “For ignoring you and pushing you away. For all that stuff with Addison. For treating you as anything less than the angel you are. You didn’t deserve that.” His pale blue eyes shimmer in the moonlight.
“I can’t get you out of my head,” I admit, looking him dead in the eye. “God knows, I’ve tried, but you are all I think about.”
He lifts me onto his lap, and like always, I feel the magnetic pull settling between us. His apology was heartfelt, and I want to believe things can change, but I’m scared to indulge my heart’s desire. Our relationship will have to be clandestine, and I don’t know if I’m ready to lie to the very people who are starting to mean so much to me.
He traces the contours of my face, eliciting a shockwave of delectable tingles. “I can’t stop thinking about you either. It’s driving me insane.” I part my lips to speak, but he places his fingers against my mouth, shaking his head. “I need to get this out, and it’s not easy for me, but I want you to know.” He wets his lips, and my eyes follow the movement like a dog eyeing up a juicy bone. “I’ve wanted you from the very first moment I saw you.”
Wait, what? He was horrible to me the first time we met.
“I’m crazy about you, Faye. You consume my every waking thought. My unconscious ones, too. You have stolen a piece of my heart, and I like feeling you there.” He places a hand over his heart, as my own starts jumping ecstatically in my chest. “It’s the only Goddamned thing that feels right in my world. There are a whole host of reasons why we should stay away from one another. But I only care about the one reason that matters.” His Adam’s apple jumps in his throat. “We belong together. It’s as simple as that.”
“Do you mean that?”
“I do. I know I’ve made a mess of everything, but I’ll make it up to you, if you’ll let me.”
Every emotion shows on his face. It’s as if his chest is ripped wide open and he’s baring his heart and soul for me to see. It’s a part of himself I’m certain he doesn’t share with many others. I turn to liquid jelly on the inside, but there’s a self-protective side of me that’s still a teeny bit cautious. “How do I know you won’t change your mind? That you won’t push me away again?”
“I suppose you’ll have to trust me.” He caresses my cheek. “I know I’ve got to work hard to gain your trust, but I’ll do whatever it takes to get us to that place.”
I’d challenge anyone to hear this and not believe him. He has stripped himself naked, and his vulnerability is the one thing I can trust to be honest and true, even if a part of me is still slightly hesitant. “I don’t let many people in, Faye, but once I do, once I’ve made the decision to go there—and I have with you—there is no going back for me.”
Oh my God. This boy has a nurturing hand around my expanding heart, and I know I’m not ever going to be the same. So much emotion is swirling inside me now, and I can barely deal.
A tortured look contorts his beautiful face. “Am I too late? Have I ruined it before it’s even begun?”
I hear his pain, and that grounds me. “No, Ky.” I place my hands on his chest. “I want you so much it physically hurts. I want everything you’re offering, but I’m scared. Because of what happened, I don’t let people in all that easily either. What if we only hurt each other more?”
He wraps his arms around me and presses his forehead against mine. “Babe, we’ll heal each other.”
“You really mean it?” I croak.
“One hundred percent. No more games. No more Addison. No more pushing each other away. We’re a team now.” I circle my arms around his neck as he reels me into his body. The bitterly cold wind wafts around us but I don’t feel it over the blistering heat flaring inside me. “That was very romantic,” I murmur. “I think I’m going to like this new you.”
“Then that’s the benchmark I’ll maintain. I want to make you happy.”
“Ky,” I say, eyeing his lips like a hunter stalking his prey. “You already are. Just shut up and kiss me.”
We sneak into my room, carefully easing the door shut. Ky flings me onto the bed, crawling over me. We pick up what we started on the beach, kissing each other ravenously as if our lives depend on it. Clothes rapidly disappear until we’re only wearing our underwear. Ky scoots off the bed and swiftly locks the door. The minute he lands on the mattress, I yank him down on top of me and continue feasting. In seconds, we are completely bare, skin to skin.
Every place he touches me alights instantaneously. My back arches off the bed, and a little mewl flies out of my mouth. Ky places his hand over my mouth. “Ssh, baby. We can’t make any noise.”
“I’ll try,” I pant, but if I was being brutally honest, I’d tell him how I want to scream my head off whenever he touches me and how I long to just give into everything I feel when I’m with him—to cry out his name when he sends me tunneling into that blissful place.
He lightly chuckles before resuming his exploration of my body. His hot tongue licks a trail across my skin, and my body throbs with undeniable need. I throw my head back as his wicked mouth moves lower and lower. Then he kisses me there, and I almost rocket off the bed. He looks up at me through hooded eyes, and his breathing is ragged. “Can I?”
A choked snort rips from me. Hell yes. As if saying no is an option. Slowly, I nod and he sends me a devilish grin that forces all the blood to pool in my core. He nudges my legs apart, but I don’t feel self-conscious. His tongue is light and tender at first, and then he dives in, worshiping me until I’m a mass of writhing hotness on the bed. I bite down on my lip to stop myself from crying out, drawing blood in the process. My hands fist in the sheets and my toes curl as he sends me over the edge, a wave of pure unadulterated bliss moving through me.
His lips are glossy and swollen as he moves up beside me, his hard length digging into my hip. I slip my fingers down, wrapping around him as I watch his eyelids grow heavy. It’s not like me to throw caution to the wind, but nothing has ever felt as right as the two of us do.
In this moment, it feels like fate has brought me to this point, to this boy who already seems so much a part of me. I’ve never felt more safe or alive or more reassured than I do when I’m with him. I’m almost at a loss to properly describe it myself. But it’s an inherent truth. Borne of some precognition buried deep inside me.
This isn’t some teenage crush, some fleeting relationship.
This feels like the real deal.
I’m meant to be here with him. I truly believe I was destined to find him. Maybe I’m delusional, or high on lust, but right now, in this second, with every pounding beat of my heart, it feels like the only truth.
Alone, we both suffer in this world.
Together, we can conquer it.
Call me on it if it seems cheesy. I couldn’t care less.
“I want to feel you inside me,” I tell him, with complete confidence and faith, staring deep into his eyes.
His eyes darken with unbridled lust. “You’re not a virgin?”
“Did you think I was?” My hand stops moving.
“We haven’t discussed it, and I wasn’t sure.”
“Well, I’m not. Unless you count born-again virgins?” I half-joke. He props up on an elbow, lifting one brow, and
I respond to his silent question. “I had sex one time with my boyfriend.” I shudder. “It’s an experience I’d rather forget.”
“He didn’t make it good for you, huh?” His thumb moves over my nipple, and a jolt of red-hot desire surges through me.
“To be fair, we were both pretty clueless.”
“I can make it really good for you, Faye. And I want to go there. So badly.” He presses into my hand, perfectly illustrating his point. “But I want to make it special for you. Make it everything your first time should’ve been. So we’re not going to sleep together now.”
He chuckles at my answering scowl, pressing a searing hot kiss to my lips. “I don’t want to rush because I’m scared my parents will come knocking or have to bite back my moans in case someone hears us. I want to worship your body all night long. Make you beg me for more. Hear you screaming out my name.” He kisses the top of my nose. “Don’t worry. I’ll sort something out soon.”
There’s no way I can argue with his logic, but I’m not letting him leave my room unsatisfied either.
I flip up and push him down flat on his back. His lips curve in anticipation. “Now it’s my turn to take care of you.” I slither down his body, enjoying the feel of every hard, taut muscle pulsing against mine. Wrapping my lips around him, I return the favor. He thrusts his hips upward, the movements becoming more and more frantic, and my actions become faster and faster until soon he’s joined me over that heavenly ledge.
I sleep naked and content in Ky’s arms until sunrise. Gathering his scattered clothes, he snatches a quick kiss before sneaking back into his room.
Seated with everyone at the breakfast table, it’s hard to keep the Joker-like grin off my face. Ky and I share secretive looks whenever we think no one’s watching. James is trying to entice his sons into conversation, but he’s fighting a losing battle. One-syllable answers and disgruntled mutterings are the usual response. Alex drinks copious cups of coffee, her fingers shaking like a leaf. Ghastly shadows form rings under her bloodshot eyes, and she looks like someone just told her she has a terminal illness.
Ky and I trade worried expressions.
After breakfast, we bike into town with Kalvin and Keaton. Keanu and Kent have cried off, and James and Alex have holed themselves up in the study. Glorious sunshine beats down on us as we cycle along near-empty roads. A light balmy breeze teases tendrils from my ponytail.
The boys show me their favorite haunts along the route to Surfside Beach. Winds are elevated here but that hasn’t stopped the multitude of surfers from braving the boisterous sea. We eat ice cream as we watch them navigate the choppy waters, and a great sense of contentment settles over me.
I shoot sly smiles at Ky whenever the others are distracted, and he finds every opportunity to secretly touch me. When his brothers take a bathroom break, he pounces on me, kissing me with a ferocity that matches my own need. I’m struggling to disguise my rampant breathing when my cousins return.
Kalvin rubs at Ky’s mouth, and he slaps his hand away. “What the actual fuck?”
“Lip gloss, bro.” Kal winks.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ky hurriedly tries to dismiss it.
“Oh, please,” he says, throwing a diva-like pose. “Anyone with eyes in their head can see you are hot for each other.” He drops down on the sand beside me, winking as Ky shoots warning daggers. “Don’t worry, it’s cool. I won’t tell.” He makes a zipping movement with his fingers. “These lips are sealed.”
“Oh my God.” Keaton’s shocked look darts between Ky and me. “You two are hooking up?”
My heart pounds frantically in my chest at the look of utmost horror on his face.
Kalvin bursts out laughing, but I fail to see any humor in this scenario. Ky pulls me to my feet, firmly taking my hand. “You have an issue with that?” he asks gently.
Keaton seems fixated on our joined hands. Looking up, he spears me with a hurt-filled expression. “You’re related. It’s not right.” He shakes his head in disgust. “Actually, it’s fucking sick.”
I flinch at the venom in his tone.
Ky releases my hand, stepping in front of Keaton and planting his hands on his shoulders. “Joker.”
Keaton shoves Ky’s hands off. “Don’t call me that. Don’t say another word. You disgust me.” Throwing a last shameful look at me, he turns and runs away.
“What’s got up his ass?” Kalvin asks, no longer laughing.
“You and your big fucking mouth!” Ky glares at Kalvin.
Kalvin’s face goes thunderous. “Don’t fucking pin this on me! You two were slobbering all over each other in plain view. He saw you when we were rounding the hill, and I could see he was upset. I threw out all that stuff because I thought if he knew I was okay with it, that he’d be come around. Obviously, I was mistaken.”
“I have to go after him.” Ky looks to me for confirmation, and I nod my agreement.
“No, let me.” Kalvin says, brushing sand off his pants. “I doubt he would listen to either of you.”
A muscle tenses in Ky’s jaw.
I place my hand on Kal’s arm. “Okay, thanks. Go.”
He runs off after his brother, and I turn to face Ky. Gripping his upper arms, I force him to make eye contact with me. “It’s just the shock of it. He’ll come around. Keaton is the most laid-back of all your brothers.”
He stares at me, and I see the conflict and confusion in his eyes. Leaning down, he presses his forehead to mine. “What if he doesn’t, Faye?” he whispers. “What then?”
Kaden and Keven are at the house when we return, but they may as well be invisible for all we see of them. Kal advises us to steer clear of Keaton until he’s had time to calm down. Feigning sudden illness, Keaton withdraws to his room, not even joining us for dinner.
Dinner is another somber affair, and there’s a collective sigh of relief when Alex and James retreat to the study once more. Kal, Kaden, and Keven head out to another beach party, but we make excuses and spend a couple of hours in the family room pretending to watch a movie on TV. Huge guilt swamps me whenever I think of Keaton. I’m tempted to go talk to him, but I have to respect his wishes and give him the space he needs. I’m devastated by his reaction, and it’s forced me to rethink everything. If our family and friends are reacting this negatively to our news, it doesn’t bode well for the rest of society.
I slip into a depressive funk, and my head’s not the happiest of places right now.
Ky must be feeling the same, because he doesn’t visit me tonight.
Ky and I don’t have much opportunity to talk the next day because James and Alex insist on a family outing, and we’re gone for the best part of the day. Keaton is quiet and glum and avoiding both of us at all costs.
It’s late Sunday night when we arrive back at the Wellesley house. James isn’t with us, having returned to wherever he is staying. It’s obvious to everyone that things are still fraught between him and Alex.
Kyler creeps into my bed when the house goes quiet, and some of my anxiety dissipates. We don’t talk, but he holds me close, kissing me softly, and I know we’ll work things out.
The repetitive chiming of the doorbell wakes me from a deep slumber at the same time Kyler rouses. Rubbing sleepy eyes, he stares quizzically at me. We haul ass, pulling on clothes as if it’s a race. Ky swings himself out my window, returning to his bedroom, lest anyone see him coming out of mine.
We meet in the corridor as the triplets stumble, bleary-eyed, from their rooms. “What’s going on?” Keaton asks, forgetting he’s not supposed to be talking to us. Pounding footsteps approach, accompanied by shrill female protests.
Kalvin joins us, pushing masses of tousled hair out of his sleep-heavy eyes. “’Sup?” He turns a questioning gaze on us as two police officers in black uniforms march toward us.
Kyler pushes me and the triplets
behind him and forms a semi-protective wall in front of us. Kalvin steps into place alongside him. “What’ve you done now, Kent?” he hisses quietly over his shoulder.
I’m wondering if it’s anything to do with those girls and the party or if he’s been caught shoplifting again.
“Nothing!” Kent snaps. He steps out, facing the advancing officers with a smug grin on his face.
Alex is barking instructions into her cell as she tails the policemen.
“Kalvin Edward Kennedy?” the male officer booms, his eyes jumping between us and the piece of paper in his hand.
Ky steps forward, sheltering his younger brother. “What’s this about?”
“Step aside, young man. We need to speak with your brother.”
I lace my hand in Kalvin’s, squeezing tight. His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat as his eyes skitter wildly. Kyler steps right in the policeman’s path. “You are not taking my brother.”
Alex places her cell against her chest, shaking her head at Ky. “Move aside, Kyler. I’ll sort this, but for now, Kalvin has to go with them.”
“What?” Kal gulps. “Why?”
Ky reluctantly steps aside as the officer takes Kalvin’s wrists and cuffs them behind his back. Kal pulls his mouth into a grim line and stares straight ahead, but I can tell he’s freaking out
“Kalvin Edward Kennedy”—the officer begins reading him his rights—“You are under arrest for the sexual assault and rape of Ms. Lana May Taylor.”
Chapter Forty
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Ky yells at the officer. “What kind of a sick joke is this? Kalvin didn’t rape Lana. Get r—”
Finding Kyler (The Kennedy Boys #1) Page 32
