Time To Love Again

by Roseanne Dowell

  "Oh, right!" Rose sipped her coffee. What the heck did Louise mean anorexic? Sure she had lost some weight, but really. "To make matters worse, he gave me a rose."

  "What do you mean he gave you a rose?" Louse smiled.

  "There's nothing to tell. He said the rose was for friendship. Like I need a friend. Harrumph."

  "So, tell me more about the old man? How old is he?"

  Rose took a sip of coffee, trying to still the quivering sensation in her stomach. "His name is Stephen. Stephen Daniels." She shivered just saying his name.

  "Well, how old is he?"

  Rose knew Louise wouldn't rest until she told her everything she knew about Stephen. "I don't know about my age, a little older."

  Louise nodded. "That old, huh. Almost ancient." The look on her face caused Rose to laugh.

  "There's nothing more, honest, Louise. Will you quit looking for a match for me?"

  "What does he look like?"

  The picture of Stephen popped up in her mind. She saw every detail about him. "He's tall– dark haired with graying temples. Has gray eyes." Smokey gray eyes and a cocky look that smiled even when he looked serious. A tremor ran through Rose at the memory of those eyes, and the way his hands move up her legs looking for broken bones. Truth be told, it felt good. Hell, it felt more than good. She almost snickered at the memory. Heat burned her face at the thought, and Rose knew it turned bright red.

  "Uh huh. And?"

  "And what? I made a fool of myself that's what. Not once but twice."

  "Twice, what happened the second time. Don't tell me you fell again?"

  "No, once was enough, thank you. I was going over there to complain about the kids, and he showed up with Sarah and a plate of cookies before I had the chance. She apologized, and they left. That was that. Quit trying to make more out of it than there is. Okay?"

  Rose looked at the clock. George would be home soon for dinner. She stood to go, hoping to avoid another of Louise's lectures about getting out in the world. About making friends with Stephen. She'd heard that sermon one too many times. She was tired of Louise's matchmaking efforts. Not that she ever agreed to meet any of them.

  "Are you sure you won't stay for dinner. George and I would love to have you." Louise invited.

  "I can't. I have some errands to finish." Rose lied. She didn't want to intrude, even though she knew her friend meant what she said. No, Louise would probably enjoy her company. But sometimes Rose thought George got a little tired of Louise's strays.

  "Sounds to me like you're attracted to this Stephen Daniels. Why not give him a chance?"

  Okay, here it comes. Rose put on her jacket and tried to ignore Louise. "Don't start," she warned.

  Was she attracted to Stephen, was that the feeling in the pit of her stomach? Nope, hunger pangs, not attraction. "I don't have time for that nonsense. Of course I'm not attracted to him. Besides I'm too old for another relationship."

  Louise raised an eyebrow and hugged her friend. "Whatever, I still think you're attracted to him. You're using the kids as an excuse to see him. Maybe you should think about joining the Senior Center, meet people. You're life is too isolated. Get out have some fun. Live a little."

  Oh, here came the sermon. She hadn't escaped after all. "I like my isolation, and you know my feelings on the Senior Center, bunch of old fogies with nothing better to do but compete with each other, trying to outdo each other with their illnesses and surgeries. No thanks, not for me."

  Louise laughed. "Look at the kettle calling the pot black. Old fogies! You know that's not true. They're a group of people who refuse to give in to old age. They want to enjoy all life has to offer."

  "Besides, I'm not that old."

  "Now listen to you. A minute ago you're too old for a relationship, now you say you're not that old. Make up your mind, Rose. You can't have it both ways," Louise teased. "I think you need some holiday spirit, Rose." Louise's tone changed to scolding. "Why don't you put up your tree? Bring some joy into your life. You loved Christmas."

  Rose nodded. No point arguing. Louise had her mind set, and there was no way to change it. Why everyone thought going to the senior center or putting up a Christmas tree would make a difference was beyond her? It wouldn't bring her family back. It wouldn't bring Frank or Emma back. Rose hugged her friend, and left.

  The visit did little to improve Rose's mood. Attracted to that man, what nonsense. Put up her tree. Like she had nothing better to do? How would that help? Make her feel sadder, that's what it would do. No, she didn't need a man, and she didn't need a tree.

  None the less, at least her tears had subsided and that was a good thing.

  Chapter Seven

  After dinner, Sarah talked her friends into singing Christmas carols in the neighborhood. Grandpa said she could stay out for an hour. Anyway, if the storm got bad, there might not be school tomorrow. They started singing a few houses away and Mrs. Asbury's car turned into the drive. She grabbed her friends' hands and raced to Rose's house.

  Jenny tried to pull away, but Sarah held tight. "Come on, we're only gonna sing, we aren't doing anything bad."

  * * *

  When Rose pulled into the drive, her headlights illuminated the snowman. She couldn't help but smile. The kids were a couple of doors away, probably playing a prank on someone else. At least they weren't bothering her. She shook her head. Those kids, always up to something. Hurrying into the house, she heard the sound of voices singing carols. She turned on the lights and went to the door.

  As usual, four little pairs of legs scattered. They were afraid of her. They were harassing her, but they were still scared. Maybe she had become the neighborhood grouch. She hadn't meant to. She had always hated the neighborhood grouch. What had come over her? At least singing carols was constructive, not like playing in her yard. Too bad they ran away again. A few carols might have improved her mood. She would even have given them some money for their efforts. Oh, well, their loss.

  * * *

  "I thought you promised your grandfather not to bother her anymore." Jenny stopped to catch her breath.

  Sarah shrugged. "So we sang, what's the big deal. Why is she such a crab anyway? We aren't hurting her. Anyways, I promised my grandfather I wouldn't play in her yard anymore. We weren't playing, we were singing. Everyone else liked it. Look..." Sarah held out her hand. "We have five dollars."

  "I thought I saw her smile." Billy said. I mean when she opened the door, she didn't yank it open like before. And she turned on the porch light. She never did that before. Maybe she liked it too. Maybe we should have stayed and finished our song."

  "Yeah, right, Billy. She probably turned on the light so she could see us better. If my mom finds out, I'm gonna be so grounded." Jenny picked up some snow and threw it at him.

  Chapter Eight

  Rose dimmed the lights and thought how lively times had been when Frank was alive. He would have loved the neighbor kids playing in the yard. He probably would have gone out and helped them build that snowman. She chuckled. Probably would have gone out and sang carols with them. Knowing Frank, he would have gotten the whole neighborhood together before they were done. But Frank was gone, and she didn't want to be bothered.

  She thought about the little girl and her grandfather. Obviously, she's the ringleader. The others stood behind her and always disappeared first. What's her story, Rose wondered? Jumping up, she ran to get her jacket, threw it on without stopping to think, and ran next door. She rang the bell and waited.

  "What are you going to say? You haven't thought this through, Rose. You're going to make a complete fool of yourself, again. You should leave before it's too late."

  Rose shrugged off the warning from her sister, shuffled her feet, and stamped the snow off her boots, while she waited. Finally, the door opened.

  Stephen stood in front of her. He towered over her. Heat crept up her neck as the look in his eyes went from surprise to smoldering.

  "Is there a problem?" he asked.


  Heat singed her face. Her hands trembled. What was she doing here? Why had she acted so impulsive? Why hadn't she listened to Emma? Those kids weren't hurting anything. In fact, she kind of liked their singing. It reminded her of when she was young and went out caroling with her brother and sister.

  Heck, they had even caroled at the neighborhood grouch's house, too. That was the only time the old woman didn't yell at them. She never gave them any money either, but she listened to them sing before she turned away and closed the door.

  "Are you all right?" Rose heard the concern in Stephen's voice. "Please, come in." He moved aside, held the door, and motioned her in.

  "No, no, I... I'm sorry the kids..." Oh, dear Lord, she prayed, open the ground and swallow me.

  "Sarah and her friends, now what have they done? She promised she wouldn't bother you again. I'm sorry. I'll talk to them."

  "Thanks," she mumbled, then turned, and ran home. Stupid old lady, what was the matter with her? Dumb, dumb, dumb.

  Chapter Nine

  Sarah and her friends peeked around the corner of the house and watched Mrs. Asbury.

  "We're in big trouble now, Sarah." Jenny chewed on her hair. "I told you we shouldn't go over there.

  Sarah shushed her friend. "Quit worrying, we were caroling at everyone's house. I can't help it if she's so mean."

  "It's time for me to go home." Billy and Jason said at the same time.

  "Me too." Jenny followed them.

  Sarah went into the house. Her grandfather sat at the table, waiting for her.

  * * *

  "Sarah, sit down." Stephen motioned to the chair. "What did you do to Mrs. Asbury?"

  Sarah lowered her eyes, shrugged, and sat down. "We were just singing Christmas carols."

  Stephen turned away and hid a smile. What was wrong with that woman? Couldn't she handle a couple kids singing Christmas carols?

  Drumming his fingers on the table, he explained again, that she and her friends were not to bother Mrs. Asbury. "That means no playing in her yard, no building snowmen, no caroling. Nothing, understand? I don't want you near that woman's house."

  Sarah nodded. "Can I go now?"

  He shook his head and waved her off.

  "You like her don't you, Grandpa"

  "What?" Stephen laughed. "Sarah you come up with some of the silliest ideas. Go, watch television for a while, it's almost bedtime."

  He sat and thought about Rose. What was it with that woman? Didn't she like kids? She doesn't want them in her yard, doesn't like carols, what's her problem? She's an attractive woman if she'd fix herself up a bit. Just a touch of lipstick would work wonders. Too bad she didn't join the Senior Center. It might improve her attitude. Make her more pleasant. Oh, well, he shrugged, thank goodness Sarah wouldn't be bothering her anymore. Still, he wondered what tragedy had caused her to become so crabby.

  According to the neighbors, Len and Millie Fisher, Mrs. Asbury's house had been one of the best decorated on the street years ago, and their yard was always full of kids.

  "One would have thought it was the Kool-Aid house," Millie referred to the old television commercial that advertised one house where all the kids gathered. "Rose always had fresh-baked cookies and hot chocolate for the kids in the winter and a never ending supply of popsicles and juice in the summer. She loved kids. Heck, even when her kids weren't home the neighbor kids gathered there to wait for them. Our own included."

  Len agreed. "You usually found her helping the kids build snowmen or having snowball fights. Our own kids played at the Asbury's house. Couldn't hardly keep 'em home." He laughed.

  "Course, always knew right where to find 'em too. Sometimes the adults gathered there too, and we had big snowball fights. The Asbury's always had hot chocolate, and sometimes we ordered pizza. What a lively house. In the summer, it was cookouts and swimming in their pool." Len shook his head. "She changed a little after Frank died, but more so after her sister died." Len looked at his wife.

  "Sad that. The sisters were inseparable. Where you found one, you found the other, along with Louise Jordan and her family." Millie took over.

  Stephen shrugged off his thoughts and joined Sarah in front of the television. Can't be bothered about a crotchety old woman, but still there was something. Something inside that wanted to know her better. Wanted to break through that tough exterior.

  Funny, he'd felt the same way about Margaret Ann those many years ago. Difference was Margaret was shy, not a crotchety old lady. He smiled, remembering their first meeting. A county fair of all things. Margaret was there helping her mother in the pie booth. Apple pie to die for, if he remembered correctly. But back then he only had eyes for Margaret Ann. He couldn't resist buying a slice of pie just so she'd have to talk to him. Not that she did much of that. Nope, he did most of the talking. Felt like a chatterbox, he couldn't get her to join the conversation. No matter what he asked, she just nodded yes or no. For the life of him, he couldn't think of a thing to ask that would make her speak. Stephen let out a loud chuckle.

  "What, Grandpa?" Sarah asked.

  "Huh? Oh, nothing, was just thinking about the time I met your grandma."

  Sarah leaned against him. "Where did you meet her?"

  "At the Cuyahoga County Fair. Prettiest thing I ever saw. She was helping her mother with the pie booth." Stephen stroked Sarah's head. "I had to go back two days in a row to get her to talk to me."

  "How come?"

  "She was shy. I think I scared her. Finally, I convinced her to go out with me."

  "What did Grandma look like?"

  "She had dark hair, brown eyes that crinkled at the corners when she laughed. She had a perky little nose just like yours." Stephen tweaked Sarah's nose, and she laughed.

  "Do you miss her?"

  Stephen pulled Sarah onto his lap. "Very much." He kissed her forehead. "Come on, peanut, it's time for bed."

  Chapter Ten

  Rose threw her jacket on the chair, picked up the still warm coffeepot, and poured a cup. She took a deep breath and grabbed hold of a chair. Managing to set the coffee on the table without spilling it, she sat down and lowered her head between her knees to stop the dizziness. What was the matter with her going over there like that? And the desire, she saw in Stephen's eyes when he opened the door, sparked something she'd not felt in a very long time. She couldn't recall when the last time she saw such raw desire. Way back when she and Frank were just starting out maybe. God, what was wrong with her?

  She shivered, even now, thinking about the ways his eyes changed when she mentioned the kids. Turned them to ice.

  Of course they did. What would she have done in the same situation? Oh, what a stupid fool. Why didn't she listen to Emma? Now she'd gone and made the situation worse. Stephen probably thought she was crazy or at the very least a silly old grouch. She raised her head and took a sip of her coffee and met Emma's gaze.

  Emma looked at her with that smug look she used to get when Rose proved her right.

  "Okay, you were right!" Rose held up her hand to silence her sister. Maybe she was crazy. Something was seriously wrong with her that's for sure. All the signs pointed to insanity. "Who cares what he thinks?" She looked around but didn't see Emma. "Maybe now those kids will leave me alone."

  "Why do they bother you? What are they hurting? You used to love kids. Loved having them in your yard. Loved the noise and commotion. Especially the laughter." Emma appeared next to her.

  Rose stood, went to the sink, turned on the water, rinsed a glass, set it in the dish drainer, and wiped the counter. Anything to keep busy, anything to avoid that voice. But Emma wouldn't leave her alone.

  "Remember when you helped Francis and his friends build a fort in the back yard? Then Melinda wanted one too. Thank goodness, Frank came home and helped, building one fort was enough. You had so much fun, though. Picture it, remember it, Rose."

  "Afterwards we had a big snowball fight." Rose stared out the kitchen window.

  Even now she saw the two
forts on opposite corners of the back yard. Of course Frank's was better than hers.

  "There must have been fifteen or twenty kids in the yard that day and even some of their parents joined in. I don't think I knew half their names." Rose turned away from the window and then turned back. "We had a huge snowball fight. Girls against the boys." She swiped at a tear.

  "Frank snuck across and tackled me, washed my face in the snow." Rose laughed. "The girls ganged up on him and knocked him down, but that left no one tending their fort. The boys blasted across the yard and tore it down." Rose shook her head. "The girls were devastated and wouldn't talk to Frank for hours after. It was all his fault, they said. He had to build them another fort the next day."