Time To Love Again

by Roseanne Dowell

  To make matters worse, the neighbor kids began to hassle her again. It began the day Francis left, little things at first, sled tracks in the yard, a partially built snowman, all happening when she wasn't home. Little things that continued to remind her of the past. Things her kids used to do. Rose tried to ignore them. She didn't want a reason to see Stephen. He sparked too many feelings in her.

  Louise came home from the hospital and, thankfully, her recovery progressed nicely. Rose spoke to her on the phone and visited her every day.

  "I'm so glad you're in contact with Francis and Melinda again," Louise said.

  "I don't know how you managed to only speak to them once a month. Honestly, Rose, you are such a stubborn woman. They were so worried about you."

  It surprised Rose to hear Louise had talked with them once a week. “I wish I had known how they felt. At least now I've made amends."

  The thought of almost losing Louise still terrified Rose. Here it was two weeks before Christmas and sadness still overcame her. The memories of the past wouldn't leave her alone.

  Melinda and Francis called every day and begged her to spend the holidays with them, but she couldn't. Not this year. She didn't want to leave just yet. She wasn't ready to take that step.

  Besides, she wanted to spend as much time helping Louise as possible.

  At least her relationship with Francis and Melinda had improved. Opening herself up to them again was hard, but the realization of how important they were and hearing from them made it worthwhile. And, she enjoyed talking to her grandkids and hearing about school and sports and other activities they participated in. They were a part of her life, how could she have denied them?

  Rose knew that sorrow and hurt were a part of death, and she couldn't prevent her kids from those feelings any more than she could prevent hurting for them.

  "Foolish, foolish old woman, it's about time you came to terms with life. Look what you missed hiding away from your kids and life," Emma said.

  Now if she could just get rid of Emma's voice.

  After she promised to spend part of the summer with each of them, they reminded her of it every time they spoke. "So, what's going on with you and Mr. Daniels?" Francis asked every time they spoke.

  "Francis, that's a road best not traveled." She said. "We speak occasionally, but there's nothing between us."

  Louise was just as bad. Each time Rose visited, Louise brought up Stephen.

  "I don't understand why you won't go out with him, Rose. He's such a handsome man. And he seems so caring and concerned about you."

  Rose sighed. She was growing tired of this argument. "Sure he's handsome, but really Louise there's nothing between us. Give it a rest already."

  She didn't like the sly look on Louise's face when she agreed not to bring him up again.

  Unfortunately, that didn't last because with the next visit, she provoked the same argument.

  "I swear if you don't quit suggesting there's something more with Stephen I won't visit anymore."

  Louise laughed. "Okay, okay. I'll try not to mention him. But you know you're attracted to him. I saw it last time you visited me in the hospital. And he sure made it plain he's attracted to you. The man literally adores you. He couldn't take his eyes off you. You know it wasn't me he came to visit."

  "Why was he there anyway? I didn't know you knew him."

  "I didn't. I guess after he brought you to see me, he came and talked to George." Louise bit her lip.

  "What do you mean he came and talked to George? About what?" Something sounded fishy in Denmark. Why had Stephen talked to George? "You can't mean he talked to George about me?" Rose saw the look on Louise's face and the light went on. She knew she hit the button on the head. "The nerve of that man. What did George tell him?"

  "He was just concerned about you. Wanted to know a little more about you. That's all. He really cares about you, Rose."

  Stephen actually talked to her friends about her. Was he really that interested? "Well, there's nothing between us, so drop it."

  But there could be if she'd let it happen.

  She sipped her coffee and thought about Stephen. He called several times a day, making small talk, even asked her out and invited her to dinner with him and Sarah.

  She always made an excuse, she was on her way out, she was busy baking, anything to avoid him. Yet, she longed for his company, missed seeing his silly grin and loved hearing his voice. She tried to fight it, but between Emma's nagging and her heart, it became more and more difficult.

  Sometimes, she almost gave in. But something held her back. She still wasn't sure if she could trust that part of her. She wasn't ready for a relationship. Not a long term one, and something told her if she gave in and started spending time with Stephen that's how it would turn out. No, not yet.

  Laughter and voices outside broke her train of thought. Just as she stood up, splat, something hit the house. Splat, splat, twice more before she got to the door. Pulling it open, she saw Sarah vanish around the corner of the garage. What was it with that child? She just doesn't quit.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  "Come on, she isn't going to do anything. Anyway I think my grandpa likes her. I hear him talking to her sometimes." Sarah said as she led her friends into Rose's yard. "But he always looks so sad when they hang up."

  "What do they talk about?" Jenny asked, following Sarah to see what her plan was. "I'm not sure if this is a good idea, she's home this time. And you did promise your grandpa to leave her alone."

  "Yeah, but Grandpa keeps asking her out, and she keeps saying no, so if I make her mad, she'll come over again."

  Jenny nodded and followed along with Jason and Billy.

  "I don't know why we let you talk us into this. We're going to end up in trouble for sure this time." Billy held back and kicked at the snow.

  "Then don't come." Sarah flipped her hair and threw a snowball at him as she turned the corner of the garage into Mrs. Asbury's yard. The others followed behind.

  They finished building the snowman and Mrs. Asbury didn't come out.

  "Darn," Sarah said. "I thought for sure she'd see us. Maybe she's sleeping or something. She picked up a snowball and threw it at the house. Jenny, Jason, and Billy ran behind the garage, but Sarah kept throwing more snowballs until the door opened, and she ran.

  Stephen saw the kids run around the corner of the garage. What were they up to now? He knew they must have been in Rose's yard. He opened the door. "Sarah," he called.

  "I have to go," Jenny turned and ran, followed closely by Jason and Billy, leaving Sarah to face her grandfather alone.

  "See you tomorrow," Billy shouted.

  "Yeah, right, big chickens," Sarah mumbled and threw one last snowball. She walked slowly toward her grandfather, wondering if Mrs. Asbury would come over now. She hoped so, even if it did get her into trouble with Grandpa. He was so sad, and Sarah was mad that Mrs. Asbury ignored him.

  "What were you doing next door?" Grandpa asked.

  Sarah came in and kept her head down.

  "Sarah, I'm at my wits end with you, I don't know what to do with you. I've tried reasoning with you, grounding you. I even tried making you sit in a chair, something that had worked well with your father, but nothing seems to work. I don't believe in spankings and don't know what else to do. Right now, I'm so angry I can't think straight."

  Sarah didn't say anything.

  Stephen shook his head. "Mrs. Ashbury has enough problems without having to deal with harassment from the neighborhood kids."

  Sarah stood in front of him waiting for her punishment. She refused to look at him, which tore his heart out. He walked towards her and helped her take her coat off and put his arm around her.

  "Sarah, Sarah."

  Stephen took Sarah on his lap and held her. He wasn't sure what to say. He didn't know how to get through to her. He held her and rocked, stroked her red curls, whistled a tune, and tried to think of something, anything, to say that would make her obey.
He knew she and her friends had been next door. He expected Rose to come to the door any minute. Half hoped she would, he wanted to see her again. He tried to visit her several times, but she always made an excuse. He wanted to be part of her life, to spend time with her and though he made a vow to break through to her, she made it almost impossible.

  He and George had become good friends and Louise was a welcome accomplice. She assured him Rose would come around if he kept up, but agreed it wouldn't be an easy task.

  "She's locked herself away for so long, it's going to take a miracle to break through." Louise told him, reminding him how long it took when Emma died.

  "Persistence pays off, stick with it." She encouraged.

  Right, persistence. How much longer could he go on like this? He called her every day. Sometimes he got her answering machine. Louise had suggested giving a dinner party, but he didn't think that was a good idea. Something told him, Rose was going to be furious when she found out he questioned them about her. Not to mention how she'd react when she found out they were in cahoots.

  He had learned a lot about Rose from Louise and George. It delighted him to learn Rose's kids also encouraged a friendship between them. Francis had paid him a visit before he left, thanking him for the helping his mother. When Stephen admitted it wasn't much, Francis thanked him for just being there.

  "It's been a long time since my dad died," Francis said. "It's time my mother moved on with her life." They shook hands and Francis promised to be in touch. He had called twice from California to see how things were going. But when Stephen told him his mother wouldn't see him, though they talked almost every day, Francis urged him to continue his efforts. "She'll come around, you'll see."

  He wasn't about to give up anyway. He wanted to know her better. Wanted to spend time with her. He had no idea where it would lead, but he didn't care.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Rose grabbed her jacket, jumped into her car, and pulled out of the drive, heading to the grocery store.

  She went straight to the bakery section. She wanted something special and walked around looking for just the right thing. She decided on kolachky, little pastries filled with jam that she loved. She bought two dozen and left the store with a mission in mind.

  Though she was angry with Stephen for asking Louise and George about her, she also thought it was sweet. Maybe he really did care about her. Anyway, she decided not to fight it anymore. Besides, something made Sarah continue to harass her, and she wanted to know why.

  She pulled into the garage and detoured from her house through the back yard to Stephen's house. She thought about his eyes as she reached her hand to knock, hesitated, noticed the bell, and rang it before she lost her nerve.

  Sarah opened the door, stepped back, and lowered her eyes. "Yes," she mumbled.

  "Is your grandfather home?" Rose tried to put the child at ease with a smile, but Sarah refused to look at her. Stephen came to the door.

  "Rose! Is something wrong? I'm sorry, have Sarah and her friends been bothering you again?" His voice registered concern.

  "I'm sorry, no, I mean." Flustered, unsure how to continue, she remembered the box of bakery. She held it out to them. "Mr. Daniels, I brought a peace offering."

  He looked startled.

  "A peace offering?" Moving aside, he opened the door, and invited her in. "Hey, it's Stephen, remember."

  Rose noticed Sarah had disappeared.

  He offered coffee, and she accepted as she looked around the bright yellow kitchen. Snowflakes and a wreath hung in the window and Santa salt and peppershakers, along with a snowman spoon rest, sat on the counter. Garland decorated the doorway, adding a festive and warm mood. Pictures of a young couple with a magnetic frame and drawings, apparently by Sarah, decorated the refrigerator.

  Stephen turned his back and while he prepared the coffee whistled a Christmas carol, just barely audible. Sarah came into the room, but stood off to the side and stared at her feet, kicking an invisible speck. She brushed her shoulder length curly hair out of her eyes, glanced at Rose, and lowered her head again.

  The quick glimpse Rose caught of the large brown eyes shocked her. They registered anger, hurt, and sorrow far beyond her young years. Rose wondered where her parents were and what had caused this child, who looked so angelic, to hurt. Strange, Stephen never mentioned them.

  "Sarah, you have homework." Stephen set a cup of coffee in front of Rose and held a mug of hot chocolate out to Sarah.

  She opened her mouth as if to object, took the mug, glanced at Rose, then turned, and hurried out of the room.

  Remembering her own kids and their dread of doing homework on Saturday, Rose sympathized with Sarah.

  Stephen set his cup on the table, sat down, ran his fingers through his hair, and sighed. "I don't know what to do with her."

  "Where are her parents, if you don't mind me asking?" Rose stirred sugar into her coffee a little too vigorously. Her hands trembled, her stomach knotted. What was she doing here talking to this man? She should be home in her own kitchen, drinking her own coffee. But she didn't want to go home to her empty house. She wanted, no needed someone to talk to. Someone to share her life with. It's time she admitted it.

  Something about this warm kitchen with its Christmas decorations caused her to dread the thought of her empty house. She inhaled the rich aroma of coffee, relaxed a little at Stephen's smooth voice.

  "Michael, my son, Sarah's father, and Lisa, his wife, are in the Army Reserves. They've been deployed to the Middle East. Lisa's sister lives out of town with four kids of her own, so I volunteered to stay with Sarah. They didn't want to uproot her from her school too, so it made the most sense." Stephen sipped his coffee, looked at Rose over his cup.

  Rose saw the pain and hurt in his eyes. How horrible that both parents were gone. She hated the war, but knew there was no other choice. Unfortunately, young men and women were losing their lives. She couldn't imagine losing a child. It hurt bad enough to lose parents, spouse and a sibling, but to lose a child– that had to be the ultimate loss. She shivered at the thought and sent up a quick prayer for Stephen's son and daughter-in-law.

  "Her parents write and call whenever they can, but Sarah doesn't understand why they both have to be gone." Tears formed in his eyes. One slipped down his cheek.

  Rose felt an urge to wipe the tear away but resisted. She wasn't sure how he'd take it. Sure, Francis and Louise said he cared for her, but did he really? Was she ready to find out? All she knew right now was that she wanted to touch him. To comfort him. It had been far too long since she'd been around a man, and she was afraid to reach out now. What if he rejected her?

  "It's been a long time since I've had to raise a child. My wife dealt with most of the problems with Michael. I'm not sure how to handle an eight-year-old. Her grades are suffering. She gets into trouble in school. The teachers are at their wits end. She's not a bad girl, but she doesn't participate in class. Half the time she doesn't do her homework and when she does, for some reason, she doesn't turn it in." A wrinkle in his forehead caused a deep crevice between his brows. He shrugged. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to burden you with this."

  "Not at all." Rose sympathized with him. Raising kids, especially alone, took a lot of time and patience. She had seen plenty of kids from broken homes when she taught, years ago. "Sounds like Sarah is lonely and missing her parents. She's hurt and the reaction to hurt is anger. She's so young. She doesn't understand or know how to deal with it, so it comes out in misbehavior." Rose stopped– horrified she had taken the privilege of his confidences, and given her opinion.

  She took a last sip of her coffee and stood to go. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have interfered." She grabbed her jacket and turned toward the door. "Thank you for the coffee and don't worry about the kids in my yard, they aren't a bother. They really aren't hurting anything." She smiled. "In fact I kind of like the snowman."

  "Rose, wait." Stephen stood, came toward her, and touched her arm. "Thank you, um, uh, f
or the bakery and for lending an ear. Most people I talk to don't understand. They think Sarah is a spoiled brat."

  A shiver ran up Rose's spine from his touch. "That's nonsense, who says that?" She put her hands on her hips and tapped her foot on the floor. "I can't believe anyone, knowing the circumstances, would think that. Who told you a thing like that?"

  "Folks at the senior center– they don't understand the situation. You don't have to get so angry." He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and his fingers lingered for a moment then slid down her cheek and across her lips.

  She shivered. She wanted him to touch her. Liked the feel of his hand as he caressed her face. She heard her own intake of breath and froze. Her pulse sounded in her ears. The raw desire in his eyes did things to her. Strange, wonderful things.