Mona Hodgson - [Hearts Seeking Home 01]

by Prairie Song

  “People have married for lesser reasons.”

  “Not Anna Goben. Nothin’ less than that special kind of love would ever be enough.”

  Caleb had thought he and Susan had shared that special kind of love.

  But it didn’t matter, because during the war, he’d thrown away any chance of ever being loved again.

  Caroline had a few minutes before she had to return to the Kamdens’ camp to help Rhoda prepare supper. Little Nicolas Zanzucchi had broken his arm during the noon stop, extending the Company’s stay. In the extra time, she’d managed to write a short bit for the missive that would go to Jewell and the others of the quilting circle in Saint Charles.

  The children were now settled around a central campfire for a reading time with Mary Alice Brenner. This was as good a time as any to deliver the letter to Lorelei, who was next on the list to add her news, so Caroline double-checked the pocket in her skirt to make sure she had the letter with her. The Becks’ two wagons sat at the far end of the line, and she’d seen Lorelei walking that direction from the pasture just minutes ago.

  Caroline was about to pass the Zanzucchis’ camp when Captain Cowlishaw suddenly stepped out from between the wagons. He skidded to a stop mere inches from her, his eyes widening and his mouth hanging open.

  He yanked his slouch hat from his head. “Ma’am?”

  Just as surprised to see him, Caroline took a step to the side and pulled her hand from her pocket. The letter managed to follow her hand out, fluttering to the ground before she could catch it.

  She bent to retrieve the stationery, but Garrett managed to snatch it from the dirt first. When they had both stood upright again, he held the letter out to her and she reached for it. He extended his arm farther, and she ended up clasping his hand instead of the paper.

  His mouth tipped into a grin. Her hand warm and still, she lifted her gaze to his eyes. Even at dusk, they seemed more green than hazel today.

  Neither of them looked away as she slid her hand to his fingertips and plucked the letter from them. He swallowed hard, leaving her to wonder if when she’d let go of his hand, he’d also noticed the sudden chill in the air.

  Caroline moistened her lips, hoping the gesture would help her push words out of her now dry mouth. “Thank you, Captain.”

  Was she thanking him for retrieving the letter or for allowing her the warm touch?

  “Anytime.”

  Anytime. Heat rushed to the tips of her ears that surely now matched the color of her red hair. Thankfully, the captain didn’t seem to possess the ability to read her mind.

  “After all, ma’am, it was my fault you dropped your paper. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

  She cleared her throat as she tried to bring order to her thoughts. “No. There’s no need to apologize.”

  His eyebrows arched. “There isn’t?”

  “Oh dear.” She tapped her chin and fought a smile. “I do see where that might come as a shock to you.”

  “Yes, well, given our past encounters …” Garrett shifted his weight to his left leg. “Let’s see … My military history. My comment in the dry goods store about a dithering wife. I definitely wasn’t off to a good start.”

  “Perhaps not, but you are forgetting about the mint bouquet.”

  “That small gesture bought redemption?” He chuckled, the sound surprisingly pleasant.

  The letter crinkled in her hands. “I didn’t say anything about redemption, but it might have moved you off the starting line.”

  Another of his crooked grins crinkled the lines framing his eyes. Neither one of them shifted as the silence stretched.

  Then he glanced out at the children’s reading circle. “Your charges, are they feeling better? With the poultice?”

  “Although it seems to be Lyall’s nature to complain, the leg cramps have lessened and they’re all feeling better.”

  He nodded. “Nice to know I did something right.”

  “Yes, well, I wouldn’t let it go to your head.”

  “Not much chance of that.” His face sobered, and the laugh lines at his eyes smoothed. “It’s been a bit of a rough day, what with the Italian boy coming to harm.”

  “Children climb trees and fall. Not much you can do about that. Don’t be hard on yourself.”

  His eyebrows lifted again.

  “You really are taking good care of us all,” she added.

  “Thank you for that.”

  “Anytime.” She smiled.

  He rewarded her with an even wider smile that brought back the laugh lines.

  Anna freed the first chair from its tethering strap on the side of the wagon while Mutter fussed inside. Großvater would need to stretch the canvas to cover the whole wagon before Mutter could retire for the night. A chore that could wait until he returned from the pasture, or from whatever camp he chose to visit once he’d set the oxen and horses out to graze.

  This fourth day on the road had been a long one. Mutter had found her drink during the noon stop, and the Zanzucchi boy now wore a sling on his right arm. During their noon break, the doctor tended his first patient on the trail, and the incident had given the captain the opportunity to remind the group that the nature of their journey was such that Nicolas Zanzucchi wouldn’t be the last of them to require Dr. Le Beau’s services.

  “I’ve seen your großvater do this, but …”

  Anna looked up. Mutter stood just inside the wagon, leaning on the back of the seat, staring up at the edge of the pulled-back canvas.

  “Does he start with the canvas or the hoop, do you remember?”

  “That’s Großvater’s job. We’ll let him do it.” Anna set the first chair on the ground, out of her way. “I’m sure he’ll have it done by the time we return.”

  Mutter stilled. “Return? From where?”

  “You were humming in your hammock when Mary Alice Brenner came by during the noon break.”

  The corners of Mutter’s mouth turned downward. “Oh yes, something about the quilting circle women meeting at her camp for supper tonight.”

  “Yes.” Anna returned to the wagon for the second chair. She’d been looking forward to cooking and visiting with her quilting circle friends. And the sooner the better. “Mary Alice said to bring our own chairs. I’m about ready to head over.”

  “I’m sorry, dear, but my head hurts.”

  That was no small wonder. Mutter’s drunken humming had given Anna a headache without the numbing benefit of alcohol.

  “With all those women there …” Mutter sighed. “I just don’t feel like going out this evening. You understand.”

  “I don’t feel right leaving you.”

  Mutter planted a balled fist on her hip. “Meaning you do not trust me.”

  “You blame me for that?” Anna dropped her hands to her side. “I left you earlier and—”

  “I remember.”

  “Then you can understand why I might find it hard to believe it won’t happen again.” Anna spoke without looking at her. “This very evening.” For all she knew, Mutter hadn’t finished off the bottle she’d tipped earlier in the day and wouldn’t hesitate to do so this evening.

  “So, you’re giving up your life to stand guard over me. To be the family polizist and make sure I keep your laws?”

  Anna’s spine stiffened. “That’s not what I’m doing, Mutter.”

  “Then what are you doing?”

  “I’m trying to help you. To protect you.”

  “From a little bottle?”

  “From yourself.”

  “If I can’t do as much, what makes you think you can?”

  Tears stung Anna’s eyes. Indeed, where had she gotten the notion she could make a difference?

  “I need to rest, and I don’t care to do so out in the open,” Mutter said, sounding legitimately tired.

  “Rest.” Anna lowered her voice to a whisper. “That’s the excuse you used earlier to hide. To drink.”

  “Truth is, dear, you can’t protect me any more
than I could protect your brother from death in the war.”

  She blinked back the pooling tears. Mutter had likely never spoken truer words. Anna reached for the strap that held the chair. “Let me get this down for you, and then I’ll see what I can do to help with the cover.”

  Before Anna could set the chair on the ground, she heard a shriek and jerked toward the wagon. Mutter was sprawled across the seat draped with the loose canvas.

  Gasping, Anna dropped the chair and rushed up onto the wagon to Mutter. The hoop sagged off to the other side, having sprung out of its sleeve.

  Mutter looked up at her, a wince tightening her face.

  “Are you all right?” Anna asked. “Did the hoop hit you?”

  “No. I just fell. That stupid thing scared me springing out like that, but it didn’t touch me.”

  “Good.” Seated now, Anna cupped Mutter’s elbow with one hand and reached across to Mutter’s shoulder with the other, trying to raise her into a sitting position. Halfway up, Mutter stiffened, another wince darkening her features.

  “Am I hurting you? Did you injure your shoulder?”

  Looking Anna in the eye, Mutter shook her head. “I might have scraped it. But I’m all right.”

  When Mutter started moving again, Anna eased her into a sitting position.

  Sighing, Mutter brushed wild strands of hair from her face. “Ouch.” She twisted her arm, raising her elbow to Anna’s face.

  “You did scrape your arm.”

  Mutter lowered her arm and shook her head. “I just don’t think I’m cut out for this kind of life, dear. It’s too much work.”

  “I should have helped you. I’m sorry.” The words no sooner flowed from her mouth when Anna realized how often she’d spoken words like these. Apologizing when made to feel guilty; apologizing when she hadn’t been the one at fault. She’d told Mutter she would help, if only she’d waited.

  Anna pinched her bottom lip between her teeth. Would she ever know another way of life?

  “I’m sure your friends are waiting for you. Go on ahead. I can wait for your großvater, or I will go find him when I’m feeling a little better.”

  The answer to Anna’s question was clear: no. She would never know another way of life. “You rest, Mutter. I’ll go find Großvater.”

  “Thank you, dear. I am feeling a mite weak right now.”

  Anna nodded. Her lips tightened by regret and frustration and sorrow, she set off toward the pasture. She’d glance at the Rengler brothers’ camp on the way by, just in case Großvater had stopped there.

  “Miss Goben?”

  She wasn’t of a mind for another lecture, but she turned toward the familiar voice anyway. Caleb Reger walked toward her from the captain’s chuck wagon, swinging his derby in one hand.

  “Mr. Reger.”

  “Miss Goben, you were fairly marching. Is something wrong?”

  Nothing Großvater couldn’t help her with. “I assumed you were poised to finish Tuesday’s speech. Am I wrong?”

  A red hue touched his tanned face. “Yes, well, about that … I wanted to clear the air.”

  Clear the air. That’s the term she’d used the other night when speaking to Boney about calling off the wedding. Anna drew in a deep breath. “Now?” She glanced back toward her wagon. It was probably too much to ask that Mutter be lying down and not tipping the bottle. “It’s just that I have a little problem and need to find my grandfather. Have you seen him?”

  “He’s helping the doctor grease his wagon wheels. This problem you have, is it something I can help you with?”

  She might not be able to protect Mutter from herself, but she still had to try to protect her privacy. “No.”

  His eyes widened as he straightened his back. “You are mad at me.”

  “I didn’t mean to sound so sharp.”

  One eyebrow lifted while his hands worked the brim of his derby.

  Anna sighed. “It’s the canvas on our wagon. The hoop sprang. My mother needs to rest and—”

  “And wants her privacy.”

  “Yes.” She hated to admit unflattering assumptions, but she hadn’t figured Caleb Reger to be aware of such concerns. Or to care about them. “I’d rather do it myself, but—”

  “Please. Let me help. It’s what I’m here for.”

  She shouldn’t. “Thank you. If you’re sure you don’t mind.”

  “I’d be happy to help.” He set his hat on his head. “Besides, I’m sure Otto is having a good time visiting.”

  Of that, she was certain. She nodded.

  When Caleb stretched out his arm, motioning for her to lead the way, Anna did so, hoping for the best. Since she didn’t care to discuss Tuesday’s encounter, she’d best choose the topic. “Do you like being a trail hand?”

  He looked her direction, his eyebrows arched. “Yes, to my surprise, I do.”

  “You didn’t expect to like the job, but you asked for it?”

  Facing forward again, his grip worked its way around the brim of his hat.

  “It’s none of my business,” Anna said. “I don’t know why I asked.”

  “My guess is that you didn’t want to talk about Tuesday.”

  She fought a smile. Caleb was a smart man. And more charming than she’d thought possible.

  They closed the remainder of the distance to the wagon in silence. Mutter still sat on the bench, looking forlorn but empty handed.

  The moment Mutter looked up and saw the two of them approaching, she straightened and smiled. “Why, Mr. Reger, I wasn’t expecting to see you.”

  “Good evening, ma’am.”

  She rose to her feet. “Good evening.”

  “Mutter, Mr. Reger—”

  “Caleb, please.”

  “Very well.” Had his eyes always been a golden brown, or was it just because he was smiling? Anna swallowed and looked away. “Caleb found me before I found Großvater and has offered to help.”

  Mutter stiffened. “You told him?”

  Anna met Mutter’s gaze, hoping to ease her concerns about the family secret. “That the hoop has a mind of its own? Yes.”

  “This sort of thing happens on a regular basis.” Caleb’s smile deepened, revealing a dimple in his left cheek. “That’s good news, actually. With all that experience, I can set the hoop and have your canvas closed right quick.”

  “I’d like that.”

  “Just in case I’m fumble-fingered today, ma’am, you might wish to step down from there and stand clear.” He lifted his hand to Mutter.

  Mutter nodded and accepted his help getting onto the ground. “Thank you.”

  “You’re most welcome, ma’am.”

  Yes, Caleb was quite charming.

  Mutter settled onto one of the chairs Anna had unlashed, as if she were about to watch a show. Turning away from Mutter, Caleb looked directly at Anna. “Are you ready, Miss Goben?”

  She gulped. “Ready?”

  “The job requires a little height. But I thought if you’d rather do it yourself, I could give you a lift.” He circled his arms, clasped his hands, and bent down as if to give her a boost.

  Anna dipped her chin, offering the best look of false disdain she could muster with those brown eyes so focused on her. “Thank you.” She stepped away from the wagon. “But I’d hate for all the experience you’re gaining to go to waste.”

  Caleb straightened, a grin blooming across his face.

  “I can, however, make myself available should you require any assistance,” she added.

  He fairly hopped onto the wagon and looked down at her. “I will, actually.”

  Anna’s breath caught. Need her help? She’d only offered in jest, certain he would dismiss it. The thought that he might expect her to climb into the wagon with him made her shiver.

  “When I get it to this bracket”—Caleb bent over the sideboard and patted the empty steel slot on the side of the wagon—“you push on the hoop and guide it all the way in.”

  She nodded. She could do that
while keeping her feet firmly planted on the ground.

  Caleb climbed over the seat with ease and, standing atop the trunk behind the seat, he raised his right hand over his head and lifted the hoop while pulling the loose end in toward the sideboard with his left.

  Anna grabbed the end of the wooden hoop and guided it toward the bracket. The force required to bend the wood was more than she expected, and she had to reset her footing with a bounce. Giving a determined grunt, she heaved against the wood, pushing it up into the bracket. She staggered back a few steps and slapped her hands together, trying to downplay the strength she’d spent.

  Caleb effortlessly lifted the canvas over the hoop, smoothing out the wrinkles, then stepped back over the seat and pulled the rope that fed through the pucker, centering the opening. In mere moments, he had the wagon covered and ready for the night.

  Mutter rose from the chair and admired his handiwork. “That’s wonderful. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, ma’am.” Caleb set his hat on his head and smiled at Anna. “I’d say we make a good team.”

  Mutter’s eyebrows shot upward while Anna’s ears warmed.

  “Yes, well, you did most of the work.” Anna tugged her sleeves straight. “And we are grateful for your help.”

  “Anytime, miss.” Caleb pinched the brim of his derby and nodded at Anna, then at Mutter. “Ma’am.”

  Anna nodded, and as she watched him stroll toward the Le Beaus’ wagon, she found herself hoping she would need his help again soon.

  15

  Anna breathed in baby Evie’s freshness, holding the tightly wrapped bundle against her chest. She’d been around Gabi, Caroline’s nieces, and Mary Alice’s twins as babies, but none of them were babies anymore.

  If she’d married Boney, she could have soon had babies of her own …

  No! She chided herself for doubting her heart again. She and Boney both agreed marriage wasn’t right for them. And she’d vowed to trust God with her heart as well as her mother. If only she were better at it.

  Across the campfire, Mary Alice checked the biscuits that were steam baking on top of the kettle. “You’ve charmed Evie.”