by Prairie Song
The Company had made good time this morning, walking through a rolling countryside that held no rivers to ford and no surprises but for a large herd of antelope. Tonight, the camp would feast on roasted meat. For now, Anna saw their break for the noon meal as an opportunity for a little time to herself. She reined Molasses to a stop under a shady oak, swung to the ground, and pulled her sack from the pommel.
Looking out over the land, she could see for miles and miles and almost felt like one of the captain’s scouts. This must be how Caleb felt, riding ahead and seeing the lay of the land before the others. No sign of outposts, rivers, or Indian villages today. Just a hill here, and a draw there. Off in the distance, she spotted a row of what looked like three ants wearing soiled white hats. Probably wagons belonging to go-backers. The sight reminded her of the captain’s ultimatum to Mutter. If she took to the drink again, Anna’s family could be counted among those returning to Saint Charles.
Anna untied a small quilt from behind the saddle and laid it out on the grassy ground. Settled on the quilt, she reached into the sack for the napkin that held her sandwich. She asked the Lord’s blessing on her noon meal then unfolded the cloth. Savoring the tangy taste of Mutter’s fresh sourdough bread, Anna let her mind roam the memories of the past five days. Mutter had gone from a stumbling drunken sot to someone bedridden and in need of care for two days, to a clear-headed, hard-working companion. At the same time, Caleb had fallen from lifesaver to someone who saw nothing wrong with Mutter’s life. Her past life. At least, Anna hoped the drunkenness was in their past. With Mutter feeling so well lately, it was easy to believe her need for alcohol was behind her. Easy to believe that breaking those bottles set Mutter on the path to sobriety.
But then, she’d gotten rid of Mutter’s bottles before. And what of Caleb’s family? Was that why he hadn’t returned home after the war? Because his parents and sister had emptied liquor bottles to no avail?
Anna shook her head. She needed to think about something else. Someone else. The quilting circle. That was what she needed, more time with the other women. It would be good for Mutter too. Back in Saint Charles, Thursday was the circle day. But Thursdays, like most other days, were spent walking. Sunday afternoons, however, seemed the perfect time for quilting together.
When Anna had finished her sandwich, she returned the napkin to the sack and pulled out her Bible. Since Caleb was reading God’s Word each morning for the Company, her personal reading had become sporadic, lost in the rush of preparation for retiring for the day or starting a new one. Drawing in a cleansing breath, she opened to Proverbs, chapter three.
“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
She leaned against the tree and closed her eyes, letting the memories of the past several weeks wash over her. Mutter had accused her of trying to be the family law, trying to protect her from herself.
“If I can’t do as much, what makes you think you can?”
Indeed. Anna loosened the ties on her bonnet and let her arms drop at her sides. What made her think she could change Mutter if Großvater couldn’t and God chose not to?
That was the hardest question of all. Why wasn’t God changing Mutter? Or at least changing Anna’s own heart so Mutter’s choices wouldn’t hurt so much.
Her own understanding and her path were her biggest problems. She’d make plans based upon her understanding, and then plans would change. And that would make her angry. Then she’d try harder.
She wanted to trust the Lord with her heart. With her plans. Always. That was her intention. Why was it so hard for her?
Twigs snapped behind Anna. Her eyes popped open. She slapped her Bible shut and set it on the quilt.
“Anna?”
She scrambled to her feet and faced a chestnut Tennessee Pacer. Caleb Reger sat in the saddle, looking every bit the Southern gentleman, his back perfectly straight and the reins suspended in his right hand.
“I didn’t purpose to startle you, I—”
“You didn’t.” Anna bent to pick up her Bible and the sack, then looked up at him.
His slanted grin gave a full showing of teeth. As he pulled off his hat, a wave of hair settled on his ear.
Anna slid her Bible into the sack. “Perhaps you did startle me some. But it’s all right. I took my meal up here. Then I was reading. I’d closed my eyes to think. I was thinking.” She was talking too much.
Caleb’s grin hadn’t gone anywhere. He leaned over his saddle horn, bringing his face closer to hers.
She needed to return to camp. Now. She needed to get away from Caleb before she lost her resolve to avoid him. She didn’t like him. She couldn’t like him. Not if she wished to protect her heart. She scooped the quilt off the ground and folded it. “You shouldn’t have followed me.”
“I saw you ride ahead of the Company by yourself. When Garrett was ready to move the wagons and you hadn’t returned, I decided to come find you.” Caleb straightened and scanned the horizon. “I’m glad I did. I’ve wanted to talk to you.”
Anna swallowed the lump in her throat. After making her care about him, he’d finally decided to be honest with her, to tell her the truth about himself? Now that they’d been on the road together for nearly a month. Too late. She knew all she needed to know. Ignoring him, Anna stuffed the quilt into the sack.
He swung down from the saddle and stood directly in front of her.
She pulled Molasses’s reins from the branch. “I was getting ready to rejoin the Company.”
His jaw tightened. “You were leaning against a tree with your eyes closed, relaxed. Until you saw me. You’ve been avoiding me since the night I brought your mother back from the draw. Why? If you’re embarrassed—”
“Embarrassed?”
“Because I know about your mother’s drinking.”
He really thought mere embarrassment would be enough to keep her away from the man she cared about?
“Anna, if you’re feeling ill at ease because I know you broke the bottles in the fire, you needn’t.”
She slid the strings of the sack over the pommel, noting that the Boone’s Lick Company was on the move. “I’m not embarrassed.”
He blew out a deep breath. “We kissed. That meant something to me. And now, you’ve been avoiding me. I’m desperate to know why.”
She set her foot in the stirrup and lifted herself into the saddle.
“Anna.” He stepped forward, capturing the reins at Molasses’s withers. “If it’s not embarrassment, then what is wrong? What have I done to make you angry?”
“I had to choose.” Anna glanced at the last of the wagons passing on the road below them. “We’re late. With the captain’s talk of buffalo stampedes, prowling cougars, and sneaky Indians, my mother will be worried about me. I need to catch up.”
“We were friends.” He put his hand on her forearm. “And I thought we were becoming more than friends.”
She did too. But that was before she learned he and Mutter shared the same secret. She stared at his hand.
He abruptly let go of her arm, went to his horse and swung up into the saddle. “You mean you chose your mother over me? You don’t have to. Why are you so angry with me?”
She pulled her horse toward the road, and looked over her shoulder at Caleb. “I didn’t say I was angry with you, you did.” She gave Molasses a nudge, and settled into a gallop toward the wagons, refusing to look back.
About five miles down the road, Anna spotted the telltale drippings of a honeycomb in the branch of a dead tree and urged Molasses off the road.
She wasn’t at the tree two minutes, hardly enough time to come up with a plan, when a mule sauntered in her direction. Its slender rider brushed the brim of his floppy hat and smiled.
“You figurin’ on knockin’ that thing down for the wax?”
“And the honey.”
“This I gotta see.”
“I think it�
��s been abandoned.” She studied the hive for another moment, then looked Boney in the eye. “So you and Caleb are taking turns keeping watch on me?”
Boney nodded. “And on your mother.”
“The captain visits our camp every morning.” Anna sighed. “That isn’t enough?”
“I thought you might appreciate a little help with the hive, but if you’re viewin’ my visit as an intrusion, I’ll kindly take my leave.” Boney pretended to nudge his mule.
“Don’t leave.” She drew in a deep breath. “I’m actually glad to see you.”
“Good.” Boney slid off his mule and pushed his hat back on his head. “I was startin’ to think you were disappointed it was me, and not Caleb, who showed up.”
He jerked his head in the direction they’d come from. “I saw you two jawin’ up on that knoll.”
“If you’re keeping such good watch on me, you know I went to that tree by myself. To be alone.”
“Woo-weee! None too happy he joined you, huh?”
Ignoring the conflict raging inside her, Anna shook her head. More like she’d been glad to see Caleb, but upset with herself because of it.
When Boney pulled his rifle from its buckskin scabbard, she backed her horse farther away from the tree. Just in case the hive hadn’t been as abandoned as she suspected.
He jabbed the branch with his rifle barrel, knocking it and the hive to the ground. “So, you’re fumin’ at him, not embarrassed?”
“You’re the one who told Caleb I was embarrassed?”
Boney’s eyes widened. “Just a theory, since you’ve been avoiding him.”
“You two spend a lot of time talking about me, do you?”
“Not a lot. A time or two, is all.” After waiting to see if angry bees appeared outside the hive, Boney swung the branch over the back of his mule and tied it behind the saddle. “You’re telling me you don’t have feelings for him?”
“I can’t have feelings for him.” Anna met Boney’s blue-eyed gaze. “Let’s leave it at that.”
34
Sunday, after a quick midday bite to eat with his men, Garrett saddled his stallion and rode down the line. If ever a company of wagons had crammed all they could into a week, this was the one. Reports and investigations of thefts, the ferry crossing disaster, and Dr. Le Beau’s resultant wagon wheel troubles. Two of his men trying to cover up Wilma Goben’s problem with the bottle, and his uncomfortable encounter with Anna and Wilma Goben the next morning. Not to mention the daily sniveling about the dust and the weather, as if that were within his control. All of that since his pleasurable horseback ride with Caroline last Sunday. To say he was anxious for this second ride would be a colossal understatement.
When he arrived at the Goben camp, Anna had her chestnut pony saddled for Caroline, and the redhead sat in the saddle looking every bit a seasoned rider. Wilma Goben sat at the table sorting a stack of fabric, while Anna stood beside the horse, talking to Caroline.
Garrett doffed his hat. “Ladies.”
“Captain.” Wilma smiled, looking well and sober. So far, so good. Anna gave him a tight nod.
Garrett studied Caroline from her wide-brimmed hat, to her relaxed hold on the reins, to her boot in the stirrup. “You certainly look ready for a ride.”
“I am.” Caroline lifted the reins. “I’ll see you after a while, Anna.”
Anna waved. “Enjoy yourselves.” Her voice was tinged with a sullen wistfulness, hounding his curiosity about what had transpired between the young woman and Caleb.
Caroline pulled the reins around, directing her horse beside his, and gave him a wide-eyed nod.
Smiling, he clicked his tongue, directing his mount onto the road. The pony stayed in step beside him with no apparent prodding from Caroline. “One might think you’d been practicing your horsemanship all week.”
“Hardly.” A playful smirk added light to her emerald-green eyes. “But I’d say after the topsy-turvy week you’ve had, you’ve earned an afternoon that didn’t involve worrying whether I could stay in a saddle, wouldn’t you?”
“I agree wholeheartedly.” He looked directly into her eyes, feeling as if he could get lost in them. Or found. “And, Caroline …”
She nodded, her gaze fixed on his face.
“I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather spend my afternoon with, worry or not.”
“Thank you.”
He’d hoped for more. Perhaps an admission that she felt the same way about spending time with him. Instead, they rode in silence up a side trail toward a grassy hillock.
He looked over at Caroline. “Have you talked to Anna? Her grandfather seems to be doing well.”
“Yes. Anna said he is stronger every day.” A shadow crossed Caroline’s face, tightening her features. “But she doesn’t seem as well off.”
“Something seems to have flipped for Caleb and Anna since her mother fell into the river. For days, Caleb was dashing off to their camp early every morning and going for walks to the creek with Anna.”
Caroline nodded. “And the next thing you know, she’s avoiding him. Ever since that day at the river, Anna has been keeping to herself.”
Garrett nodded. “I was hoping you might know what happened.”
“I wish I did. I noticed also and asked Anna about him, but she’s being tight-lipped.” A sigh lifted an errant strand of hair on her forehead. “I thought maybe Caleb had said something to you.”
“Only that Otto was strong again, and the Gobens no longer needed his help.”
“My guess is it had something to do with her mother, but it’s just a guess.”
A good guess. At the top of the rise, he gave the horses a low “Whoa,” which brought them both to a stop. While he was sure Caroline knew about Wilma Goben’s struggles with alcohol, he didn’t wish to bring it up. The memory of meeting her sodden brother-in-law back in Saint Charles was still fresh in his mind. And although he knew she was all too happy to be out from under the man’s roof, her sister was still there.
Caroline looked out at the meager forest. “It’s much more open here than I was used to back along the Missouri River.”
“Yes. One of the big draws west—wide, open spaces.”
“I can’t wait to see the mountains and the desert. All of it.”
And he couldn’t wait to show it to her.
Caroline loosened the bonnet ties at her neck. Had she read his thoughts?
She moistened her lips. “Rhoda says the pain left her about a week ago and hasn’t returned, but she still seems a mite puny to me.”
“When I asked Ian about her yesterday, he said she was fine, but sometimes we men can be a bit, well—”
“Oblivious?” An eyebrow lifted and her mouth tipped in a grin.
He chuckled. “I was going to say unmindful. But, yes, oblivious may be more accurate. To his credit, Ian does have good reason to be preoccupied. Seems his mother is constantly pecking at him about one thing or another.”
Caroline nodded. “That she is, which reminds me. What has come of your investigations? Have you received any more reports of things missing?”
Garrett shook his head. “Thankfully, no. The two I have are plenty puzzling. Who in the caravan would want a teapot and a pocket watch badly enough to steal them?”
Caroline shrugged. “Both silver. And they were taken from two separate camps. Keepsakes with sentimental value.” She tapped her chin as if trying to think like a sheriff in a Beadle’s Dime Novel. “You said Mrs. Zanzucchi and Otto Goben had left the missing items on their tables?”
“That’s what they both said.”
She tucked an errant strand of hair beneath her bonnet. “So whoever it is isn’t going into a wagon looking for things to steal.”
He nodded in quick agreement. “They may have simply walked by, saw the items sitting out in the open, and decided to take advantage of the opportunity.”
“You’ve had no luck finding out if anyone was seen near those camps at those times?”
&
nbsp; “No. Children and people of all ages are coming and going all the time in just about every direction. The pasture. The latrine. The creeks. Hunting firewood and kindling. Working. Playing.”
“I suppose it could be a child.” She stretched the curl on her neck. “I have learned from recent experience that it’s difficult to keep an eye on children at all times.”
“Sally Rengler thinks it could be Oliver.”
“That woman needs to have a second thought, then.”
He chuckled.
“What, pray tell, is so funny?”
He straightened and took on the air of an expert. “Well, ma’am, if you must know … it’s you.”
Her eyebrows shot skyward. “Me?”
“Yes.” He gestured with his hand, like a barrister in court. “Your passion. For answers. For the downtrodden. For justice. I love that about you.”
“You do?”
“I do.” His neck warmed.
Her face pinked. “I feel the same about you.”
“Oh?” He pulled his horse around to face her.
“Yes. I can’t think of anyone I’d rather spend an afternoon with.” Her hat tipped up, revealing a purposeful expression on her face. “And, in case you’re wondering, I’m not just saying that because a horseback ride with you means a break from my responsibilities with the Kamdens.” She moistened her distracting lips. “I really am enjoying our time together.”
Clearly, there weren’t going to be enough hours in this afternoon.
A lifetime of hours with the fervent and alluring Caroline Milburn wouldn’t be enough.
35
Anna added two more river rocks to the canvas sack she carried, then walked back toward the wagon. Großvater knelt at the new fire ring, forming the first layer of rock.
“Do you think we’ll need another load?”
Großvater looked up at the burden she carried. “If we do, I’ll go get it.” He watched as she bent and let the rocks tumble from the canvas. “Anna.”