by Sandra Cole
Yet I couldn’t stop my brain from screaming out, wishing that he would slide that hand down further, and that he’d move his mouth in closer to my neck. I was responding to him in ways that I didn’t totally want to, but there was too much of a pull for me to resist.
I wondered what it’d be like, to actually be with a cyborg. Would it be totally different to humans, or would it feel far too similar? The feel of his hands on my body certainly didn’t seem out of place…
“Are you okay?” he murmured, replacing my inappropriate thoughts with guilt. “You seem a little…”
“Yep, I’m fine,” I snapped back a little too sharply. “Just erm… looking forward to the drugs being out of my system.”
“I bet,” he said. I hated that he sounded so sad about that, I knew it wasn’t his fault, but what else was I supposed to say? He said, “Everything will be better in the morning, you’ll see. Then we can make our way to the revolution base, and you can see what they’re trying to achieve.”
“Do you think it’s really possible?” I asked, despite myself. “Peace, I mean? I guess I’ve always seen it as one side needing to defeat the other. It’s always been black and white to me.”
“That’s the trouble, that’s what everyone thinks,” said Javier. He sounded more determined now, his utter belief shining through. “I just hope it isn’t too late to show the world a different way, a better way.”
And I just hoped that Craig wasn’t vital to that mission of mutual peace, because he wasn’t going to be around for very much longer…
***
After a turbulent night of tossing and turning, my body aching as the drugs finally drained their way out of my system, I woke up feeling just a little better. My brain was clearer, if still a little riled up about thoughts Javier. My body still hadn't totally recovered. Still, it was far preferable to waking up in that horrible prison. At least here I was free.
I shifted my body slightly, trying my best not to wake Javier who was still beside me, wrapped around me as if I were the only thing worth clinging onto, and I turned to properly examine him.
It was the first time I’d ever been able to really look at him, without him distracting me by looking back, and there was something undeniable there. He made me feel things. He caused stirrings inside of me. I wanted him, I really did. Maybe the fact that it was so wrong was actually part of the attraction. Maybe that drew me in further, and tempted me. He was my sworn enemy, not only because I was a human but because of what happened to Mike, and it was wrong… oh so wrong.
I had never heard about a human going anywhere near a cyborg sexually before; I didn’t even know if it was possible. Just because he mostly looked like a human, and he really felt like one, didn’t mean anything. The cyborgs might not have even had the… mechanics to do anything like that. Just because they were conscious now, didn’t mean they even had attractions, or felt things for humans.
Then again, the looks Javier kept giving me suggested that he really did feel things. Also, why would he have rescued me if not? Was I reading into things that weren’t real, or was I being obtuse and blind by not seeing what was blatantly right in front of me?
“Eve,” he muttered, still asleep, with an expression of happiness on his face. “Oh, Eve.”
Now it seemed like he was dreaming about me, just like I did about him. That had my heart pounding, my face smiling, my body inadvertently leaning in. It was as if I were his lover, and I was waking up after a night of hot, passionate sex.
“Eve?”
Oops, now he was actually awake. I felt my face heat up and my whole body cringe under the shame of what I was just thinking. “Oh, erm, hi… are you okay?” I said.
As I finally braved meeting his eyes I could see that he looked just as troubled as I felt. It was as if he’d just been caught thinking wild things too.
“Yeah, I’m good… are you?” he said. He reached out, as if he was going to touch me, but he seemed to think better of it and he pulled away at the very last second. For some reason this action reminded me of the long and terrifying time spent in that facility, when Javier was my shining light, the one thing keeping me going. So with that in mind, I reached forward and laced my fingers through his.
“So?” I whispered curiously. “What now?” The question was loaded with so many different possible meanings, which I felt left the ball in his court. Javier could decide now where he wanted to take things, in every sense of the word.
“We… keep going,” he replied a little evasively. “Aim for freedom.”
I couldn’t leave it at that, I just had to know more. “And what does freedom mean? How does that look to you?”
I was so scared as I waited for his answer. Terror bolted through my system, but I forced myself to keep eye contact with him because I wanted to be able to read between the lines if I needed to. “Freedom makes the world a better place; it offers humans and cyborgs choices alike. We all need freedom to live the best lives we can.”
“I like that,” I replied a little sadly, wishing he’d given me a little more to go on. “I just hope that it can happen.”
“With Craig, it will.”
I allowed my eyes to slide shut, just because I didn’t need to hear that name. I didn’t want to think about what I’d be risking by pushing forwards with my plan. To be perfectly honest, I didn’t want anything to derail me along the way. I wasn’t a weak person – at least, I never wanted to see myself that way – but I feared this was the one mission I could freak out about.
However, it seemed that Javier misread my eyes closing, and he took it as a hint to overstep that crazy boundary, the line I’d been dancing around but sticking behind, because the next thing I felt were his lips crashing into mine.
“Hey!” I shoved him backwards the whole situation becoming too overwhelming. It had all been hypothetical until that point, something in my imagination, certainly not a boundary I thought we would ever cross. “How? Can you even…?”
We were staring at one another, panting, which was when I noticed the dark desires in his eyes. “We can do whatever humans can,” he promised me in a tempting, low voice. “Probably even more.”
After that he waited, leaving the choice with me. What was I supposed to do? This wasn’t normal, I already knew that, but then none of this was. How crazy would I be if I just went for it? If I leaned in and kissed him back? I’d never been so attracted to anyone before. I’d never felt this strongly about anyone… but he wasn’t human, so what did that say about me?
Before I could work that out, our lips had crashed together and we were kissing once more. It seemed that whatever my brain thought I should do, my body was throwing caution to the wind regardless, totally ignoring any rational thought. But I was glad of that, because kissing Javier felt absolutely amazing, better than I ever thought possible...
***
His mouth was everywhere, moving from my mouth down my neck, towards my collar bone… it was all happening far too quickly, I was finding it overwhelming, but I didn’t want to stop it, not even for a second.
“Oh, Javier,” I gasped loudly, running my fingers down over his body. I could feel his muscular arms, his abs, and lower down… What the hell, there was no point in being cautious and careful, that hadn’t ever gotten me anywhere. My real life was mundane; this was a chance to live in my fantasy world, distracting myself for a few moments, and God damn it I needed that.
So I grabbed his tee shirt and yanked it up over his head. Javier stopped to give me a confused look, as if he wanted to check that I really knew what I was headed for. I didn’t, of course, I had no idea what was about to happen next, all I knew for sure was that I really wanted it, whatever it was.
I bit down on my lip, while looking up at him under my eyelashes, and luckily my vague attempt at seduction must have worked because the next thing I knew he was pulling at my top too, finally taking this to the next level. Now that I was in, I was all in and I couldn’t wait another second longer.
As he pulled me back in to kiss me once more, I felt a zinging electricity buzzing between our skin as we brushed together, and it had nothing to do with the fact that Javier was a machine! We connected. We had chemistry. There was definitely something there between us. I shrunk the problem of the physical differences between us.
“You’re so beautiful,” Javier murmured, his hands reaching around my back to unhook my bra. “I knew I did the right thing by rescuing you.” My bra fell away revealing my breasts. While Javier began to explore them with his fingertips, I used the time to familiarize myself with his body too. He felt like someone I knew. Nothing about being with him felt strange. That was of course unusual in itself, but I didn’t care about that, not anymore.
I couldn’t control my grasping fingers for another second longer. They were desperate to know what was waiting for me under those trousers. I hooked my thumbs over the waistband of his trousers and started to tug them down. While I waited to see what I would reveal, growing ever closer by the second, my heart thundered with exhilaration. This was a once in a lifetime experience for me. No one had ever left me to frantic, so desperate, so eager before.
I pulled back, once I felt him spring free, and I was a little surprised to find a pulsating erection looking back at me. I touched it lightly, running my fingers along the shaft, marveling at the engineering. “I told you,” Javier declared in a shaky, turned on voice. “Just like you.”
“I want to taste it,” I told him, without even thinking about it. “Can I?” I was so intrigued. This was all so wondrous to me, that it felt like the natural thing to do, so when Javier nodded in a stunned silence, I flipped him onto his back and I started to work my lips down his entire body, savoring every single kiss.
As I drew nearer, I felt the passion inside my body grow, which only increased as Javier tensed up with anticipation. That was such a human reaction. It was incredible. I was also over the moon that it was because of me. Javier was a perfect machine, only flawed by his personality. My only flaws were in my looks. Not that he seemed to share that thought…
I kissed him, up and down his shaft, gripping tighter to his thighs as he seemed to want me even more. Then I trailed my fingers lightly upwards, working towards where I wanted to hold, and I wrapped my fingers around the shaft before finally taking the plunge. I slipped him between my lips and moved him as far down the back of my throat as I could, causing both me and Javier to groan with joy simultaneously. He actually felt good in my mouth. I wanted more of him, but now that I’d had my taste I needed to experience him in the place where I was now seriously soaking wet for him. I’d been growing hotter and wetter by the second, and it was time to give into that. I needed him inside me.
Javier watched me intently, looking in awe at me as I moved up over his body. I fixed my eyes upon his as I moved myself into a sitting position, sliding myself down onto his length, trembling with bliss as I went. The way he filled me up, it was as if he had been designed for me. He was a perfect fit; snug, tight and very full.
Unable to control himself any longer, Javier sat up to meet me, kiss me, and wrap his arms around me. We then started to move in unison. At first I rode him slowly and rhythmically, enjoying every moment. But it wasn’t long before the passion over took us both, and we were moving harder and faster, gripping tightly onto one another as we went.
“Oh Javier!” I gasped as it became a struggle to breathe properly. “You’re amazing!”
“You have no idea what you do to me,” he replied, panting just as hard.
His hands were on my breasts, then my hips, then my legs. He wanted to explore me all over. I really wanted to do the same with him but I had to clamp my nails into his shoulders, just to keep myself upright. I was losing myself. The pleasure was consuming me. The hot pool of bliss was spreading over my body and crashing over me in waves... and then I buckled, shuddered and felt myself go numb. It was incredible, the most intense orgasm that I’d ever experienced and I didn’t know if that was because Javier was a cyborg, or because of our connection, but I hoped that there would be another opportunity to find out more…
***
But the opportunity did not come, and I wasn’t sure why. We traveled together, staying alone at every given chance, but Javier never made another move and I was afraid to. We hadn’t even discussed that fateful night, which spoke volumes in itself.
Was I just an experiment? Did Javier only use me to pass the time? Or worse… did he not like it? I was full of doubts and fears. It seemed like he was having a good time in the heat of the moment, but maybe I had read things wrong. I had all but forgotten that he wasn’t technically human so it was possible that I’d gotten it all mixed up. Or maybe, because he wasn’t like me, he didn’t feel the need to totally over-analyze it all.
“We shouldn’t be long now,” he told me, furrowing his eyebrows, his mind only on the mission. “I bet if we work hard enough, we can make it there tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow, really?” Wow, that was awesome. It already felt like so much of my life had been spent on this crazy mission. A big part of me couldn’t wait until it was over… But then again another part of me wasn’t sure what I’d do when it was. I didn’t exactly have a whole lot plans for the future…
Would I go back to working at the diner, or could I actually aim for more? I didn’t exactly have any qualifications or skills to do anything else, but I wasn’t sure that I’d be satisfied with a life of drudgery anymore either. It was just a shame that I’d severed all ties with the armed forces. There was no way they’d have me back. Besides, I wouldn't find it as easy to fight against the cyborgs anymore, not when my grudge was only with one of them, and he would be gone.
“Yeah, do you think you’re ready for it?” he asked, rubbing my back. “I know this is going to be hard for you.”
“All I want is peace,” I said through gritted teeth, giving the same line that I always did. “Nothing else matters anymore. When this is over, and the world is a better place, I can go through the grieving process properly.”
He looked at me, as if he were about to say something else, but he seemed to think better of it at the last moment and he stepped away, recreating that distance between us. I hated that. It made me feel rejected, cold and alone. I wanted him back with me, I wished his arms were around me, but of course things were too weird for that.
“Yeah okay, well let’s get going shall we?”
We walked. I just kept moving one foot in front of the other, enjoying the progress. If I couldn’t be sure of Javier's feelings for me, and I wasn’t brave enough to ask him, then I could at least concentrate on my revenge. I’d done all of this for Mike. I wanted to get him some justice and since there wasn’t any legal system that applied to cyborgs as yet, this was the only way. To be honest, this would be the most satisfying way anyway.
I would talk to Craig, and let him know exactly what he’d done. Then I’d wrap my hands around his neck and strangle him. Or maybe not. Maybe I wouldn’t be strong enough for that. Maybe I would just have to grab a gun and kill him.
“Do they have weapons? The revolution, I mean?” I asked innocently enough. “If they’re gearing up for a fight, they must have some way of fighting, am I right?”
“Yes,” said Javier. If Javier was suspicious of me, he didn’t sound it at all. He seemed to think this was a perfectly reasonable question. “However I don’t think anyone wants it to come to that. I think everyone wants it to come to a peaceful resolution, but I’m sure no one is naïve enough to think that’ll be enough. This isn’t a perfect world, after all.”
“Yeah, if only…” I mused. It would be so much better if this could all be solved in a normal, peaceful way but that seemed impossible now, after all that had happened. The humans had undoubtedly done despicable things to the cyborgs, and vice versa. There was no getting out of this easily. “If only we’d all been a lot nicer to each other in the first place!”
Javier chuckled kindly. “I agree, but
there’s nothing that can be done about the past. We just have to do the best with what we’ve got now.”
If only I didn’t have to kill Craig, I could have been a part of the revolution. None of them would want me after I killed their leader, not even Javier, so there wasn’t too much point in worrying about whether he liked me or not. That was a shame. I wanted Craig dead, and I wanted to be the one who made it happen. My life had never had real meaning, not until this quest for revenge. I couldn't think about anything besides that. I had to focus on Craig.
Mike wasn’t here to stick up for himself anymore, and that was wrong. He was the good one out of the two of us, the one who deserved to live. If anyone had to die, it should have been me. That was the main issue in my brain, the fact that I got to continue living my pointless existence, but he was gone. It just wasn’t right, and I had to fix it.
***
“Is this it?” I said. I hadn’t expected to arrive so early the next morning, I thought we were in for a whole other day of walking, but it seemed that we were closer to our destination than Javier realized. I was feeling frustrated and dismayed about Javier. After that one night of sex, he'd done nothing else. I thought he might, while we still were on our own, but now here we were about to arrive at the headquarters of the revolution, where there would surely be little time for romance.
“Yep,” he replied with pride. “I know it doesn’t look like much, but it’s where the change of the world will happen.”
The change of the world… I liked the sound of that.
“It’s pretty cool,” I admitted. “I do like it.”
“Wait until you see inside!” With that statement, as if by magic the door swung open. Where it looked like a dump from the outside, it was a totally different place indoors. It looked majestic, spotless, and hi-tech. It was beautiful. That entry chamber seemed like a symbol of what they could potentially do to the world.
