The Bachelor's Baby
Page 17
“It’s none of my business, dear,” Ellie reminded her primly, passing by on her way into the kitchen. “You two aren’t teenagers anymore, and you’re smart enough to work this out for yourselves.”
Food for thought, Lindsay mused as she began to head upstairs to put Taylor in her pretty wicker bassinet. Someone knocked on the front door, and she turned back. “I’ll get it, Ellie!”
“Thank you!”
Lindsay opened the heavy door to find Jeff standing on the brick porch, wearing an anxious look that she’d never seen on him. Normally self-assured to the point of arrogance, now he looked as if he expected to be unceremoniously tossed out into the snow.
“Hi, Lindsay,” he said in a voice that sounded almost humble. “May I come in?”
She wasn’t exactly in the mood for company, but she couldn’t come up with a decent reason to refuse him, so she stepped back to let him in. “But not for long. Us girls need a nap.”
“I understand.” The tension left his face as he gazed down at Taylor, and he bent down to kiss her forehead in the kind of loving gesture that reminded Lindsay of why she’d fallen for him all those years ago. Lifting his gaze to Lindsay, he asked, “Is it all right with you if I hold her?”
Reflexively, Lindsay pulled the baby closer. Then reason kicked in to remind her that Jeff was the child’s father, and he had a right to hold her. “Okay.”
The handoff was a bit awkward, but when he finally had her, he relaxed enough to smile at her and then Lindsay. “She’s the second-prettiest girl I’ve ever met.”
It was the kind of thing he used to say, when she was mad at him for something he’d done—or hadn’t done—and was seeking to get back on her good side. But this time, for some reason she didn’t feel the same warm, fuzzy response to his attention. She wasn’t angry, either, and she searched her mind for a way to define what was going on. After a few moments, she realized what it was.
Nothing.
She no longer hated him, but she didn’t love him anymore, either. Somewhere over the past several months, she’d regained enough of her dignity to realize that not only did she not need Jeff anymore, she didn’t even want him. She was perfectly capable of taking care of herself and her daughter on her own, and knowing that made her feel stronger than she ever had in her life.
Taylor began to squirm, and Jeff quickly handed her back. When she was quiet again, he cleared his throat before asking, “So, have you had a chance to think about what we discussed the other day?”
The stilted phrasing reminded her of a businessman addressing a client, and she actually felt a sting of remorse for keeping him in the dark for so long. Still holding Taylor, she went to her overnight bag and took the velvet box from its place in the outside pocket. She wasn’t sure what to say, so she simply held it out to him.
Looking from her hand to her face, he shook his head. “I don’t understand. We’re Taylor’s parents. We should get married and make a family for her.”
In that moment, Lindsay understood why she’d been so hesitant to commit to marrying him. He didn’t necessarily want her back, but he was a good enough man to want to be Taylor’s father. Stalling while she searched for a way to explain it, she summoned all the patience she had for what would no doubt be a difficult conversation.
“I appreciate that you want to be part of Taylor’s life,” she began, adding a smile that she hoped would soften the blow of her words. “But just being legally bound together isn’t enough. Do you still love me?”
His eyes slid away from hers for a brief moment, before coming back with a determined stare. “Yes.”
“Are you saying that because it’s true, or because you think that’s what I want to hear?”
“There’s no one else, Lindsay.”
That wasn’t quite the declaration of undying devotion that she was after, but she didn’t see the point in badgering him into admitting his honest feelings for her. Instead, she decided to do the gracious thing and let him off the hook. “Love is what makes a family, and I don’t want us rushing into something we’ll all regret later. Believe me, when parents split up, it’s the kids who suffer the most. Taylor deserves better than that.”
“But I’m her father,” Jeff protested in a desperate tone that told her just how much this meant to him.
“That won’t change,” she promised him. “Your name is on her birth certificate, and we’ll work out some kind of legal arrangement to give you time with her. I want her to know you, but we don’t have to be married so you can have a relationship with your daughter. It won’t be easy, but lots of people make it work. I’m sure we can, too.”
He didn’t respond at first, and the crestfallen look on his face made her feel awful. Still, she knew in her heart that this was the right decision for all of them. She no longer loved him, and she still had her misgivings about trusting him to keep a life-altering commitment like this. While on the surface marrying him might appear to make her life easier, it was the wrong thing to do.
“I have one question,” he finally said. When she nodded for him to go on, he asked, “Does Brian Calhoun have anything to do with this?”
“Not a bit,” she assured him, shaking her head to emphasize her point. “This is my choice to make, and I honestly believe that this is what’s best for Taylor and me. When you have some time to think about it, I hope you’ll agree that it’s best for you, too.”
“I won’t ever see it that way.” She didn’t contradict him, and he relented with a sigh. “So that’s it, then? This is really what you want?”
“Yes. Next time you’re coming to the area on business, give me a few days’ notice. I’ll arrange for us to sit down with a lawyer and put together some kind of visitation agreement we can both live with.”
“All right. I’d also like to have him add a section for me to help out financially.”
She narrowed her eyes warily. “Is this your way of trying to change my mind about your proposal?”
“No. You made your decision, and I promise to respect it. But Taylor’s my daughter, and even though we won’t be together, I want to be as much of a father to her as I can.”
Lindsay had been burned by him in the past, so she was leery of putting too much faith in him now. Still, Brian had given her a second chance and it had worked out well. Maybe she and Jeff could make peace with each other, too. “Thank you. I’ll pass that along to the lawyer.”
“I appreciate you doing that. I have a client meeting west of here tomorrow morning, and then I’ll be heading back to New Haven in the afternoon. Is it all right if I stop by on my way back to Connecticut to say goodbye to Taylor?”
“Of course. If you’ll give me a heads-up, I’ll make sure she’s awake when you come by.”
“I’ll do that.”
He stepped forward, as if he meant to lean in for a kiss, but abruptly stopped. Pulling away, he gave her a self-conscious grimace and instead rested his hand on her shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“We’ll be here,” she assured him, opening the door to let him out.
After he’d driven away, Ellie met her in the foyer with the cordless phone. “It’s Brian. Something about the printer not working.”
It was the first time he’d contacted her in days, and Lindsay was more than a little surprised to hear from her wayward boss. Taking the phone, she decided to play it cool, even though her heart was hammering in her chest. “What’s up?”
“This thing is jammed, and I went through the whole troubleshooting list you gave me. I even unplugged and restarted it, but no dice. I really need it, so I was hoping you had another idea.”
“Not really. I’d have to see it to know why it’s doing what it’s doing.”
He grumbled something, and she swallowed a laugh. To her knowledge, he’d always been good at everything he tried, so it was amusing to hear the self-assured blacksmi
th grousing like a normal human being.
“Hang on a sec.” Resting the receiver against her shoulder, she asked, “Ellie, would you mind watching Taylor while I run over to the forge?”
“Of course not, dear. Take my car if you want.”
Lindsay thanked her, then got back to Brian. “Taylor’s sound asleep, so I’ll be right over. Don’t touch anything else.”
“Awesome,” he said heartily, then quickly hung up.
Taylor never moved when Lindsay settled her into her little bed, and she sneaked out of the room as silently as she could manage. It took about two minutes to get to the ironworks, and when Lindsay went through the newly stained front door, she came to a dead stop in the middle of the lobby. The rustic decor was gone, replaced by a set of furniture that was obviously used but all matched. A half wall now enclosed the office area, with a Dutch door in the center that allowed access and a clear view of whoever might be coming in.
Walking through the bright, welcoming space, she opened the door and went into a proper office, complete with an L-shaped desk and bookcases all made of honey oak. Behind the desk sat Brian, scowling at the printer as if he honestly believed that would get him anywhere.
“Glaring at it won’t help,” she teased as she joined him inside.
He gave her a mournful look that told her he’d been wrestling with the troublesome piece of equipment for far too long before asking for her help. “I hate to bug you, but I’m totally stumped.”
Angling her head, she asked, “Is that the chair I liked?”
“Yeah. I found it at the office supply depot where Gran got hers.”
“That was the most expensive one we looked at,” she scolded him mildly. Though it was hard to be angry at someone who’d shelled out money he didn’t have in an attempt to make her happy. “You shouldn’t have spent that much on a chair.”
Standing, he swiveled it on a smooth pivot, as if to remind her of why she’d admired it in the first place. “It’s the floor model, so they gave me a discount.”
It was a sweet thing to do, so she decided to let the matter drop. In the back corner of the office, she noticed another Dutch door and strolled over to see what lay beyond it. When she saw the cozy nursery, she couldn’t believe that he’d gone to so much effort to make her workspace more comfortable for her. Blinking back tears, she turned to him in astonishment. “Is this why I haven’t heard from you since Taylor was born?”
“Partly.”
“I can’t believe you did all this. For all you knew, I’d be leaving town with Jeff.”
Doubt flickered in his eyes, and his jaw tensed in obvious frustration. “Are you?”
“No, but you didn’t know that. I didn’t even know until this morning.” To be truthful, she’d been alternating between “yes” and “no” right up until Jeff had appeared on Ellie’s front porch.
Relief chased away the doubt in Brian’s eyes, and a maddening smirk lifted the corner of his mouth. “So, seeing him again didn’t make you want to jump for joy?”
“Not exactly,” she admitted, allowing herself a little grin. “But depositing that cashier’s check sure did.”
“I’m glad he did that. I guess even a self-centered weasel can show some backbone once in a while.”
“I’m not complaining.”
“Speaking of money, I heard from Rick Marshall this morning,” he announced.
“And?”
“The bank is satisfied that Liberty Creek Forge won’t go belly-up in a month,” he replied proudly. “Rick sent me a copy of the report he submitted, including a line about how the cost of a loan to a small business like this one is small compared to the value the forge has to the community.”
“That must have made you feel pretty awesome.”
“I didn’t hate it, that’s for sure. To top it off, he ordered one of those hanging pot racks for his kitchen. Said he’s been looking for something like that but couldn’t find one he liked until he saw these.”
“That’s fabulous. Congratulations.” Glancing around the office, she couldn’t help laughing at the mess. “However, this place is one step short of being declared a disaster zone. What on earth have you been doing?”
“I’ve just been piling everything where there’s room for it. That winery order’s been keeping me busy, on top of the others that keep rolling in. That’s why I need the printer. The delivery guy taking those wine racks out is on his way, and I have to get the shipping labels on the boxes before he gets here.”
His explanation sounded reasonable, but she got the impression that something else was going on with him. Now that she’d had the chance to really look at him, he looked beyond exhausted. But she suspected that it was more than fatigue dragging down that chiseled jaw. Hope sparked inside her, but she firmly tamped it down before it got out of control and left her disappointed. “Brian, what’s going on?”
“Nothing. Why?”
“I live with your grandmother, remember? You came over to shovel the walks but left before we got home, like you’re avoiding me.” Folding her arms, she nailed him with her most direct stare. “That’s not like you. What gives?”
His gaze slid away from her, as if he was trying desperately to hide something from her. “Wasn’t sure you’d wanna see me.”
“Since when?” He shrugged, and when he continued evading her eyes, she began to get a glimmer of what was bothering him. “Is it possible that you mean you didn’t want to see me?”
Another shrug, but this time his eyes met hers in a hopeful look. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Why’d you turn down Jeff’s proposal?”
She explained her reasons, and he nodded as if he understood perfectly. Which was pretty amazing to her, since she didn’t quite comprehend them herself. It was more of a listen-to-your-heart thing, and she was stunned that anyone other than her could follow it.
“So,” Brian went on in a pensive tone, “you wanna be on your own.”
“For now,” she replied, taking a few tentative steps toward him. He didn’t back away, and she took that as a good sign. “My life is very different now, and I’ve got a lot of adjustments to make. Mostly, I need to focus on Taylor and my job.”
“I get that,” he said, closing the remaining distance between them so they were within arm’s reach of each other. “When you don’t have so much on your plate, what then?”
“I suppose I’ll figure that out when I get there.”
Reaching out, he gently traced the curve of her cheek with his finger. “Would you be against having a little distraction once in a while?”
“What did you have in mind?”
“Dinner sometime. Maybe a movie that hasn’t been on TV yet.”
The twinkle she’d missed was shining in those deep blue eyes, and she couldn’t suppress a smile. “Then I suppose that would depend on who was doing the distracting.”
“What if it was me?”
In answer, she reached up to draw his face to hers for a kiss. When she started to pull back, he wrapped his arms around her and held her there, deepening the kiss into one that sent a warm current through her entire body.
When he released her, she gazed up at this wonderful man who’d come to mean so much more to her than she ever could have imagined.
“I think I could get my head around that.”
Epilogue
“Man, am I glad that’s over,” Brian commented, rubbing his shoulder as he stood in the doorway of Lindsay’s office. “I love having tourists in here, but doing three demonstrations in one day is tough on the old arm.”
It was mid-May, and just as everyone had hoped, the mild weather had brought visitors into this part of New Hampshire by the dozens. Eager to experience the natural beauty of the area, many of them stopped by the freshly painted bridge to read the plaque that
detailed its charming, homespun history. On the other side stood the intriguing Liberty Creek Forge, and they were more than happy to come in for the kind of living history lesson Brian had planned all along.
“This might help,” she said, spinning her laptop so he could look over the pony wall and get a glimpse of the day’s receipts. When his mouth fell open in a shocked O, she laughed. “Several of your guests had been in town before, and they mentioned how pretty the new bridge is. They used to wonder what was in this building, and they were thrilled to get a chance to take a trip back in time with a blacksmith descended from the original founders.”
Brian gave her a knowing look. “You’re using that line on the website, aren’t you?”
“As soon as I get Taylor home and fed. She always takes a nap after dinner, so I should have just enough quiet time to make some online edits.”
As if she’d understood what they were talking about, Taylor began kicking in her bouncy seat, gurgling her opinion of their itinerary. Riley was stretched out on a braided rug beside her, which was his customary post whenever the baby was nearby. Perking up in a canine version of Taylor’s reaction, he cocked his head in obvious interest.
“Sounds like a plan,” Brian agreed. Leaning on the low wall, he gave her one of those irresistible crooked grins. “It’s still pretty nice outside. What do you say we knock off early and I’ll walk you ladies home?”
Riley yipped, and his owner laughed. “Yes, you can come, too. But you’ve gotta be quiet. Last time we went over there, you got the neighbor’s coonhound howling, and folks didn’t appreciate it.”
The multicolored shepherd whined a sort of apology, and Lindsay couldn’t help laughing while she closed down her computer. “Now you’ve made him feel bad. Dogs bark at each other. If people don’t like that, they should stick to cats.”
“I’m with you there.” Opening the Dutch door, he slung the diaper bag over his shoulder as if it was the most natural thing in the world for him to do.