The Road to Alexander

by Jennifer Macaire

  I didn’t try to comfort him. There was something in his voice that told me he was beyond that. Instead, I asked him why Nearchus had winked at me before leaving the tent.

  Alexander rubbed his temples. ‘Nearchus is sceptical about your divinity. He doesn’t believe anything, don’t worry. I have a pile of letters to read. Why don’t you go to the river and wash off the purple dye? Go find Brazza, he’ll give you something for that.’ He finished speaking and turned away, sitting with his back to me. I thought I saw his shoulders shaking.

  I glanced at my body and saw that the sweat had caused the dye to run, and my chest and belly were blue. Outside, I found Brazza near the stables, and he gave me a handful of something like soft soap. It made a nice lather, but it smelled like a sheep. To take the sheep smell away, I swam for nearly an hour, then I went to the riverbank and poked around until I found some lemongrass. I picked some young shoots and crushed them in my hands. I added a bit of water, and rubbed the citrus scent all over my body and head. My hair was slowly growing back, but it was still a very short brush-cut. I looked like a soldier. I smelled like a lemon.

  When I approached Alexander’s tent, the guards jumped up and looked uncomfortable.

  ‘Alexander has instructed us to take you to your new quarters,’ they said.

  I hadn’t been expecting this, but I was schooled in hiding my emotions. ‘Thank you. Please do.’

  Their smiles were relieved.

  My tent was a small one, set up under a tall tree near Alexander’s. It was nicely furnished, with a beautiful rug and a low, comfortable bed. I had a lamp too, and a bronze brazier. A young girl was sitting cross-legged on the rug, and as I approached she jumped up and made a bow.

  ‘This is Chirpa, your slave,’ said the captain.

  ‘My slave?’ I repeated blankly. ‘There must be a mistake.’

  ‘No mistake. Brazza too has been appointed to your service, and Nassar of course, although he is not a slave.’ The captain knew everything that was happening in the camp.

  I blinked. I’d take this up with Alexander, later. Chirpa gave me a shy glance and smiled. She looked about seven years old. I started to shiver, the events of the day catching up on me. I thought I’d probably faint again, which would please everyone. The soldiers bowed and left.

  I sat on the bed, and noticed a lovely wooden chest.

  ‘What’s that?’ I asked.

  Chirpa ran over and opened it, showing me bolts of cloth. Another smaller box was inside, and from it, Chirpa extracted a round mirror made of polished bronze, a small flask of perfume, a comb, and some make-up – kohl for the eyes and carmine for the lips and cheeks.

  The perfume smelled interesting, but not like anything I’d ever think of wearing and I didn’t want to paint my face. The comb was useless, but the mirror was sweet. I looked into it.

  My face had started to tan in the fierce sun. It made my eyes stand out, which didn’t displease me. My cheekbones were a legacy from my Finnish grandmother – high, broad and sharp. My nose and chin came from my Russian father. My nose was narrow, my chin square, which gave me a haughty look. My hair was hoarfrost sparkling on my head. Strange. My mouth was wide and my lips curved naturally into a smile. It made me look almost friendly, until one saw my eyes. They had always frightened people away. They were the colour of glaciers, of polar icebergs, of pale aquamarines – of ice. They even made me shiver. There was no warmth in my gaze. I had tried for years to soften it, but I’d given up. Eyes were the mirrors of the soul, but mine were simply mirrors. They gave nothing away. Even the warm bronze couldn’t thaw them. I sighed and put the mirror down.

  I was melancholy and wandered around my tent for a long time, picking things up and putting them down. The wind increased and there was a hint of rain in the air. It made everything smell and I thought that I could do without one or two of the furs on my bed. Wrinkling my nose, I brought the offending bedcovers outside, hanging them to air in a tree. Chirpa offered to help, but I told her to go and amuse herself.

  The soldiers sitting outside Alexander’s tent were playing a game with pebbles. The sound of the stones clicking together was the only thing I could hear. The silence weighed upon the afternoon, unrelieved by small, playful gusts of wind. One gust blew the tent flap back, showing me the inside. Alexander was sitting motionless behind his table, his head in his hands. Nearchus was nowhere to be seen. Neither was Plexis.

  I went back to my own tent and let my melancholy wash over me. However, it was only from solitude, and I’d suffered from that all my life.

  Alexander came to see me that evening. He was announced as if I were royalty. I stood to receive him, draped in a transparent piece of muslin.

  He saw my expression and his own eyes, usually limpid, turned cloudy.

  ‘Do you like it?’ he asked, gesturing with his arm.

  ‘I do, thank you.’ I sat down gracefully. I had to rely on my finishing-school education now. Of all the people in the world, the powerful are the most ruthless. I’d learned how to meet them head-on. Alexander was the only person who could keep me alive now. To stay by his side, I had to prove myself useful.

  ‘Do you know Lysimachus?’ I asked.

  ‘Lysimachus? The captain?’ He looked perplexed.

  ‘I had a dream about him. I dreamed he became a powerful Lieutenant. He served you well. I advise you to watch him carefully and when the time comes, don’t hesitate to promote him.’ I had to be careful, but I’d recognized Lysimachus’s name from my history books and unless there were two Lysimachuses I wouldn’t be changing history, much.

  Alexander tilted his head to one side, considering. Then he smiled at me. ‘Are you saying that as a goddess?’

  ‘As a friend,’ I said, and his smile broadened.

  ‘Do you know what I did just before coming here?’ he asked.

  ‘You read your mail.’

  ‘Yes. And I caught a pigeon.’

  I was surprised. ‘Already? What did she say?’

  ‘She said congratulations. She’s impatient to meet you.’

  ‘Oh, well that will have to wait a while, won’t it?’ I asked. I wasn’t looking forward to meeting Olympias, his formidable mother.

  ‘In three weeks.’

  ‘I thought we were going to Babylon?’ I asked.

  ‘We meet in Babylon. She’s sailing down the Euphrates. We’ll have our wedding feast there, at the same time as our victory feast.’

  ‘So sure of yourself,’ I said. ‘Your mother isn’t only coming for the wedding?’

  ‘No, she’s always wanted to rule Babylon. I shall put her in charge for a while.’

  I nibbled the inside of my lip. Was history was following its normal course? I certainly hoped so. ‘When shall we start packing?’ I asked.

  We went for our evening swim, and, to my relief, Nearchus and Plexis stayed away. I washed Alexander’s hair for him while we floated in the shallow water. He was in a garrulous mood, and I took advantage of it to ask him questions.

  ‘Are Plexis and Nearchus married men?’ I asked.

  ‘No, they’re too young. Plexis studied with Aristotle too, and he’s decided to follow his advice. Aristotle says men should marry at thirty-seven years of age and women at eighteen. How old were you when you married?’

  I jumped. ‘How did you know I was married?’ I asked.

  ‘You married Hades when he kidnapped you,’ he said.

  ‘Actually, my mother arranged the whole thing.’

  Alexander sat up so quickly he smacked my nose with his head. I saw stars and blood splattered into the water. My nose was bleeding.

  ‘I’m sorry!’ He was contrite, dabbing at my nose with his linen tunic.

  ‘That’s all right, I always get bloody noses. It’s nothing. It’ll stop in a second.’

  He stared first at my nose, and then down at his stained tunic. His brows drew together as he came to the logical conclusion. ‘You’re not actually a goddess,’ he said.

  ‘
I never said I was.’

  ‘No, you never said you were. Yet, I saw you under the tree, and you were starting to disappear. You were crowned in ice, and snow covered your body. You were held in the grip of a deathly blue light, and I could barely pry you away. When you broke loose, I heard the cries of the one I’d cheated.’

  ‘I can’t tell you who I am, because if I do, I will be destroyed. You must not ask any questions of me. I will do my best to help you, and I believe that I can. I’m not immortal. However, I will tell you this. When I was disappearing I was going to a place that is not on this earth at this time,’ I said, ‘and that is the truth.’

  ‘I believe you.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  He dabbed once more at my nose, wiping off the last traces of blood, and then he grinned. ‘O Ashley of the Sacred Sandals,’ he said. ‘Will you be my oracle, or, failing that, my talisman?’

  ‘I’ll be your oracle if I can, and your talisman if you wish. But above all,’ I said, taking his chin in my hands and kissing him, ‘I will be your lover, because I think that’s what you need right now.’

  ‘Right now at this minute, yes,’ he said, his voice thick. ‘But later I think I will need an oracle, because if we lose at Babylon, my mother will probably kill us both.’

  ‘This is not,’ I said firmly, ‘the time to speak about your mother.’

  Then we didn’t talk for a while, and afterwards we went back to my tent, and we still didn’t talk.

  * * *

  We went to Babylon on foot. Nearchus went by river, and to my relief, Plexis sailed with him.

  The village held a feast for us the night before we left. I thought that was decent of them, considering Alexander had been camped on their land for nearly a month, and the army had eaten everything for miles around. But, as the village priest said, there were plenty more fish in the river. They even managed to catch enough to send us off in style.

  Of course, the regular soldiers stuck to their diet of bread and garlic, onions and lentils. With the occasional crocodile thrown in.

  Alexander gave a speech, and then we all ate. The soldiers didn’t tell their usual dirty jokes; I supposed it was because the priest was there. We went to bed early. I didn’t sleep in my tent; it had been packed up already.

  In Alexander’s tent there were Alexander and I, Chirpa, and Alexander’s slaves, Brazza, Axiom and Usse. They slept behind curtains strung up for the night so that we could not see each other, although Axiom’s snoring kept waking me up.

  Travelling soon became routine. The slaves woke up before dawn and got the tent in order. Alexander woke up next, did his exercises before having a quick breakfast, and then, just as the sun came up, went out into the camp for inspection. I woke up a while later, when the sun had fully risen, and ate whatever Alexander had left me. Usually it was a few dried figs, some yoghurt and fresh goat cheese. Chirpa helped me dress, which meant draping a linen cape around my shoulders. Otherwise her tasks were limited to fetching water from the river and washing clothes. Clothes were rare and water only a few feet away so I didn’t feel guilty about having her as my slave. I’d tried to talk to Alexander about setting her free, but all he would say was, ‘Not now, not here.’ I didn’t press him. He had his own reasons.

  Chirpa was Greek, from Athens, and I had no trouble communicating with her after I’d managed to convince her I was not going to turn her into an owl or a frog if she did anything wrong. She was about thirteen, but very small, which was why at first glance I’d taken her for a child of seven or eight. Her hair was reddish-gold; her eyes were large and grey in her heart-shaped face. I asked her about her childhood, and she told me her father had been a policeman. I was surprised.

  ‘Wasn’t he a slave?’ I asked, not sure if I would hurt her feelings.

  ‘Yes, he was a federal slave. There is a police corps in Athens made up of slaves. They are the only ones who can marry. My mother was a slave too; she worked in the public bathhouse. My parents sold me to pay for their freedom. Aristotle bought me, and then gave me to Iskander when I was ten years old.’

  We chatted as we walked. The road was long, but the pace was leisurely. We walked well behind the army. By the time we caught up, they would already have made camp. Alexander had assigned four soldiers the task of holding the canopy over my head as I walked. The canopy was not heavy, and the soldiers didn’t mind. I asked them to let me know when they were tired and they told me not to worry, so Chirpa and I strolled along in the shade. The only problem was the dust, but as we fell further and further behind, that ceased to be a bother.

  ‘What did you do for Iskander when you were ten?’ I asked.

  She shrugged. ‘Not much. I was taken into his household and his mother put me to work. I helped clean, and did the laundry. I learned how to style hair, so she asked me to do her hair sometimes. Iskander was gone most of the time.’

  ‘But why are you here?’

  ‘I became his poison taster.’ She said it as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

  ‘What?’ I was shocked. ‘How could he let you do that?’

  She looked at me in puzzlement. ‘He did not tell you? While I was in his household I went to the kitchen one day and noticed a strange odour. I followed my nose to a plate of sweets someone had left for Olympias. When the cook came in, she started to scold me, but I told her that they smelled odd. She didn’t believe me; to her nothing seemed wrong. When I insisted, she gave a sweet to one of the dogs. The poor beast died. I have a talent, you see. I can smell poison. Not many people can. Olympias made me go with Alexander on his campaign. I don’t mind. I like to travel. The work is easy.’ She shrugged, twirling a lock of copper hair in her fingers.

  I suddenly realized that Chirpa was the first person I’d met here who wasn’t afraid of me. Everyone else was uneasy, most making the sign against evil behind their backs when they spoke to me. Others were convinced I was a goddess, and would bow fervently whenever I crossed their paths. It rankled, and I found myself relaxing with Chirpa. It was nice, and I even surprised myself with a smile.

  The camp was seething with activity as we arrived. Then, just as suddenly, all was calm. Soldiers built fires and ate their dinner. Music from flutes and smoke floated in the blue evening air. Alexander went to the pony lines to check on Bucephalus, and I went upriver and searched for a likely place to bathe.

  It had to be upstream from the camp, and the banks had to be free from too many reeds and mud. I walked for a while before spotting a small, sandy beach. It was far from the camp, out of sight and sound of the soldiers. My modesty was preserved. Whistling cheerfully, I picked my way through waist-high grass, careful of snakes and crocodiles. I had just reached the water when strong arms seized me from behind.

  My first reaction was to scream, which made my captor hit me sharply on the side of the head. I saw stars, and then my judo lessons came back to me. I leaned into him and hooked my leg behind his, reaching upwards and around in a smooth motion. I brought my knee up sharply and drove the base of my hand into his nose.

  There was an explosion of movement then, as my attacker proved to be quicker than I was. He treated my moves as if they were in slow motion, blocking each one with an infuriating ease. My head was reeling from the blows I was receiving, but at least I’d broken free and was fighting back. I screamed once and then he hit me in the neck, bruising my larynx.

  He was determined to capture me. He hadn’t counted on my getting away, and it maddened him. However, every time he grabbed at me I managed to block him; I even threw him down once in a classic ippon, but there were no judges to stop the fight and declare me winner. Besides, I was losing miserably. My nose was bleeding again – the main reason I’d stopped judo – and my head was ringing. My wrist was certainly sprained and one finger felt broken.

  My assailant had a swollen eye, a split lip, and limped from a bruised knee. Nevertheless, he hadn’t given up. He seemed ... I frowned and hesitated, suddenly unsure. He seemed to be wa
iting.

  My impression was confirmed when a small boat grated up onto the beach and another man leapt out.

  I redoubled my efforts and in a last, desperate effort to escape I darted into the tall grass, where the first man had been hiding. The chase was soon over. The men ran like wolves and within seconds they had me pinned to the ground. Without a single word to each other except guttural grunts, they tied my hands and feet and slung me into the boat. A gag was stuffed into my mouth, and a cloth was draped over my body, hiding and blinding me.

  The boat moved in fits and starts as the men took turns rowing. I tried to determine if we were going upstream or downstream, but I gave up. I had no idea where I was being taken or what was going to happen to me.

  I wished the men would talk, giving me a clue as to what this was all about, but they were silent. After a while I gave up struggling and simply shivered.

  Whenever I get nervous, I tremble. My nerves twitch and jump, and my teeth chatter. I can’t control it. I was shaking so badly it must have looked as if I were having a fit, because one of the men snatched the cover off me and grabbed my face, looking deeply into my eyes. I tried to talk but it just came out as ‘Njggggmnnnjklg!’

  He looked up at the sky and glanced nervously around, but then he put the cloth back over my head and it seemed to me that they redoubled their efforts to row even faster.

  I’d seen fear in his eyes, and I hoped I knew why.

  When at last we stopped, the men didn’t untie me or take off my gag. They hid the boat in some rushes and made a fire behind a lean-to one of them built with reeds and palm tree branches. Then they ate some flat cakes, wrapped themselves up in scratchy woollen cloaks, and slept, with me firmly between them.

  I had never had to learn how to sleep with my hands tied behind my back, or wedged between two perfect strangers who reeked of sweat and garlic. I lay awake for ages, shaking, uncomfortable, wondering if I would ever be rescued. The stars came out; I saw the constellations Alexander had shown me and started to cry. At that moment, I believed I would never see him again.