The Cowboy's Return

by Linda Warren

  Tripp stared at the remaining balloons. “I’ve had all this guilt about that night, about you and me.”

  She took a deep breath. “You have no reason to be guilty. There was never anything between you and me.”

  And never will be.

  His eyes caught hers. “Are you asking me to let this go?”

  “I’m asking you to let the past go, to let Patrick rest in peace.”

  He jammed his hands into his pockets. “For thirteen years I’ve been lost, wandering from town to town to the next rodeo. I had good friends and that’s what got me through, but in the back of my mind I was just waiting to come home. Now that I’m here it’s—”

  “Different?”

  “Yes, everything’s changed, except the guilt. It’s still there.”

  “Only you can change that by letting go of all the heartache and pain and start living again.”

  He gave her a knowing look. “But you’re not doing that.”

  “Yes, I am,” she insisted. “I live every day for my daughter and try to make her life as good as I can.”

  “But what about you?”

  She looked away. Her mother had asked the same question and she still didn’t have an answer. At least not one she could explain.

  “How do you feel when I do this?” He leaned forward and lightly kissed her lips, then her jaw, and breathed a kiss on her neck. Her heart hammered against her ribs and her body ached for more.

  He drew back and watched her face, but she couldn’t speak so many emotions churned through her. Desire. Guilt. Denial. Seconds ticked by, then the words came.

  “When you do that, I remember that night.”

  His face paled.

  Suddenly all those inner fears came to the surface. “That’s always going to be between us. Patrick will always be between us.”

  “I see,” he murmured.

  She licked her sensitive lips. “Under the circumstances, I feel it’s best if we try to have an amicable relationship for Jilly.”

  “If that’s what you want.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  No, it isn’t. You’ve loved him most of your life, but you’re too afraid to admit it. The thought was like an escaped prisoner darting through her mind looking for a safe haven. But she would never harbor it. It would only bring heartache and she’d had her share of heartache.

  Tripp nodded. “I hope you’ll allow us to continue to see Jilly.”

  “Of course. I want Jilly to form a relationship with Patrick’s family.”

  He turned and walked toward the door. Everything she ever wanted was walking away. Did she have the courage to stop him? No.

  There was no future with Tripp Daniels.

  Patrick’s brother.

  Chapter Sixteen

  The next morning, Tripp left early for Mesquite. He had to talk to Brodie in person, and he needed to get away. He told his parents where he was going and he assured them he’d be back on Sunday evening. They seemed down about him leaving, but they had to trust him to come back.

  He had to make a choice and in the end he only had one choice he could live with—being here for his parents. Now he had to tell Brodie his decision.

  All the way to Mesquite, he kept seeing Camila’s dark eyes, feeling her skin against his. He wasn’t ever going to get her out of his head. But he’d be living on Lady Luck now and he’d get to know Jilly better. Somewhere along the way he was hoping to spend time with Camila and break through her defenses. Or he was going to turn into a very grouchy cowboy.

  He crossed a cattle guard and sped down the dirt road to the house. Brodie was at the corrals, unloading some Hereford bulls.

  “Hey, Tripp,” Brodie called, slamming a gate and strolling toward him.

  Brodie, a champion bull rider, was muscled and strong with black hair and blue eyes. Known as a smooth-talking charmer with the ladies, Brodie’s reputation had followed him around the circuit. But Tripp knew him for the man he really was, an honest, loyal friend. They’d doctored each other’s scrapes and bruises, been there for every win, every loss and the heartache and joy. They were closer than brothers.

  They sat on the tailgate of Tripp’s truck.

  “Since you’re here, I guess the news isn’t good,” Brodie said.

  “My parents need me and I have to be there for them.”

  Brodie shrugged. “I’ll buy you out.”

  Tripp knew he could count on Brodie to understand and to be supportive. They’d both suffered through estrangement from their families and knew how important that bond was, even when it was broken. But still, Tripp hated to disappoint his friend.

  He looked around at the new pipe corral with swing gates he and Brodie had designed for easy access when working cattle. “We planned this ranch together.”

  “Things have changed,” Brodie said. “You were estranged from your family and you thought you’d never see them again.”

  Tripp rubbed his hands together. “I really hate to do this to you.”

  “C’mon, Tripp, we’re men now and we should have families of our own—like Colter. We can’t stay rodeo cowboys forever.”

  “But we can stay friends.” Tripp held out his hand.

  Brodie gave him a bear hug. And Tripp loved that about him. Brodie was never afraid to show his affection.

  “How are things going with the woman who had your brother’s child?”

  Tripp told him about Camila and how he felt. He didn’t leave out much.

  “So she’s another reason you want to stay in Bamble?”

  “She’s the most wonderful woman.” Tripp heard the wistfulness in his voice. “I hope you meet her one day—that is if she ever allows me into her life.”

  Brodie slapped him on the back. “You’re hopeless. Women trip over themselves, no pun intended, to get to you and you’re standing there like you don’t even see them. Take my word for it, Camila Walker will let you into her life.”

  “There’s a lot of heartache from the past.”

  “So get rid of it.” Brodie jumped to his feet. “Come look at these bulls I just bought. You might want to take one back to Lady Luck.”

  When Tripp left, he felt better about the situation with Brodie. He didn’t want to let his friend down. Brodie just wanted him to be happy. That’s what they all wanted. Colter had found his happiness and Tripp’s was just within his grasp. He just had to make it happen. How he wasn’t sure yet.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  AFTER CHURCH AND DINNER, Camila spent the afternoon trying to figure out a way to help Unie. That was easier than thinking about Tripp. She couldn’t let Bert have her committed. She had to improve Unie’s life so a judge could see that Unie could take care of herself.

  Jilly stayed with Benita, and Camila went to Unie’s, taking her food. But she was determined that Unie would take a bath and put on clean clothes.

  Unie, of course, resisted, saying it was too cold. Camila didn’t give up, knowing this would be a battle. She lit the small heater in the bathroom and it soon warmed up.

  She took Unie’s hand and led her into the bathroom. “See, it’s warm in here.”

  “Yes, it is.” Unie looked at the water Camila had drawn in the bathtub. “A bath would be nice. I need to wash my hair.”

  Camila was in shock for a moment at the easy acquiescence, but she quickly recovered before Unie could change her mind.

  “Good,” Camila said, going to the bag of goodies she’d brought. She handed Unie a bottle of shampoo.

  Unie shook her head. “Don’t want that. Want my lye soap.”

  “Got that, too,” Camila said, digging in the bag and handing the bar to Unie.

  “You watch my cans so Bert won’t steal them. They’re for my son.”

  Camila heaved a big sigh and went into the bedroom and gathered Unie’s clothes. She carried them to the washer and dryer in the kitchen, which were covered with dust and cat food. Clearly they hadn’t been used in a while and Camila wondered if they worked.

 
; She put the cat food on the floor, then filled the machine with clothes and added lye soap. Holding her breath, she turned the knob and water started running into the tub. She felt like giving a cheer. They worked. She then got a pan of water and soap and cleaned the outside of the machines.

  She was putting the clothes in the dryer when Unie came out of the bathroom in a long robe, her wet hair hanging down her back.

  Unie stiffened. “What’s that noise?”

  “Just the dryer.”

  “Thought it didn’t work. Gas company turned off my gas.”

  “It’s working now.”

  “They’ll arrest me for using their gas.”

  “No, Unie, it’s okay. Remember I told you the gas company will turn it off when they’re ready. So far they haven’t.”

  Unie frowned. “Sometimes I forget.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “You’re a sweet child.”

  “Thank you. I brought my dryer so I can dry your hair.”

  “Don’t like those newfangled things.” She looked around. “Where’s Lu Lu?”

  “She’s asleep on your bed.”

  Camila dried Unie’s hair then Unie put on clean clothes without one word of protest. Camila then stripped the bed and washed the sheets.

  Unie responded to love and attention like everyone and she would make sure Unie had a bath and clean clothes. Camila would work it into her schedule somehow because she wasn’t letting Bert put Unie in a mental institution.

  Camila had been busy all day and she’d pushed Tripp from her mind. But as she crawled beneath the covers, he was there. She could see his face, feel his touch on her skin. Flipping onto her side, she told herself she’d done the right thing. But her heart told her something else.

  Monday passed quickly and Camila never seemed to have enough time. Leona was having her surgery today and she kept waiting for Tripp to call, but he didn’t. When she picked up Jilly from school, it was the first thing she asked and Camila knew it was going to be a long evening.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  THE SURGERY WENT WELL and Tripp was relieved. Since the doctor did both eyes, Leona had to stay overnight in the hospital. Tripp stayed with her. In the morning the doctor would take off the bandages and his mother would be able to see a whole lot better. He wanted the first face she saw to be Jilly’s.

  They had sedated Leona and she was sleeping soundly. He’d talked to his dad and Morris, and he sat staring at the phone, knowing he had to call Camila.

  He picked up the receiver and dialed. Jilly answered.

  “Hi, Tripp. How’s Mrs. Daniels?”

  “The surgery went really well. She’s sleeping now.”

  “Totally awesome.”

  “Can I speak to your mother?”

  “Sure.”

  Camila’s soft voice came on the line and he paused for a second. “I…I…just told Jilly that everything went well.”

  “I’m so glad.”

  I wish you were here.

  “I have a favor to ask.”

  There was a long pause on the line. “What is it?”

  “They’re taking the bandages off in the morning about ten. I’d like Jilly’s face to be the first thing she sees, but if you have a problem with that I’d understand.”

  “No, no. I’ll take Jilly out of class and we’ll be there at ten.”

  “Thank you, Camila.”

  He hung up knowing she’d say yes. That’s the type of person she was.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  NOW TRIPP HAD SOMETHING else he wanted to do. Earlier, he’d asked for Earl’s room number so he could visit. Earl was alone. He lay still, his skin pale, and there were heart monitors attached to him.

  “Hi, Earl,” he said, walking farther into the room.

  “Rodeo man,” Earl said past dry lips. “What are you doing here?”

  “My mom had eye surgery and I heard you were in here. Are you okay?”

  “Could use some whiskey and a dip of snuff.”

  “I don’t think you’ll be doing any of that for the rest of your life.” Tripp took a seat in the chair next to the bed.

  “That’s what they tell me.”

  An awkward silence followed.

  “I keep thinking what you told me about your son.”

  “Don’t. It doesn’t concern you.”

  “Maybe not, but I carry around a ton of guilt over Patrick’s death.”

  The awkward silence came again.

  “How do you live with all that guilt?” Earl suddenly asked.

  “By not blaming yourself. Accidents happened. A new jack could have done the same thing.”

  “Yeah, but whiskey helps. Now what the hell am I gonna do?”

  “Forgive yourself.”

  Earl moved uneasily in the bed. “You know, rodeo man, that’s one thing that irritates the hell out of me—your nice pearly-white attitude. Sometimes things are black and white and just plain ugly and forgiveness ain’t even an option. So if you came here looking for a changed Earl, you ain’t gonna find him.”

  Tripp stood. “That’s a pity.”

  “I’ve taught my boys to be rough and tough, not taking crap from anyone. That’s the only way to survive in this world.”

  Tripp rubbed his jaw. “I’m well acquainted with your boys.”

  Earl snorted. “Took three of them and a hired hand to bring you down. That’s pitiful.”

  “It’s pitiful that you think those kind of tactics are needed.”

  “Don’t preach to me.”

  “What I don’t understand is why you tried to cheat my dad. All you had to do was ask your mother for the money.”

  “There’s that pearly-white attitude again,” Earl snapped. “Can’t you figure it out? Ma gave me the money and I used it to gamble. I was heavily into betting on football games and there was no way I wanted her to find that out.”

  “So your mother knows now.”

  “Yep. You and Wyatt coming to the ranch asking questions let the cat out of the bag. So you see, rodeo man, you’re not one of my favorite people.”

  “Why did you tell me about your son?” Tripp needed to know that.

  “Got me. That’s about the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. Just forget my lapse.”

  Tripp nodded. “Hope you get to feeling better.”

  “I’ll ride again, rodeo man, you can count on it. I’m not out yet.”

  Tripp nodded again and started out the door.

  “Rodeo man.”

  Tripp looked back.

  Earl waved a hand. “You know.”

  “Yeah, Earl. I know.” Tripp walked out knowing exactly what he meant. Earl was sorry and he didn’t know how to say it—probably never had in his whole life. Earl was learning lessons the hard way. All in all it had to be the sanest conversation he’d ever had with Earl. Usually Earl was three sheets in the wind and none too cooperative. Earl might not want to admit it, but he was changing.

  That wasn’t a bad thing.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  JILLY WAS EXCITED about seeing Leona, and Camila had to calm her down several times. Tripp waited for them in the lobby and Camila’s heart accelerated at the sight of him. She didn’t think she’d ever be able to curb that reaction.

  They went upstairs to the room and Jilly held Leona’s hand as the doctor removed the bandages. The doctor checked both eyes and Leona blinked, turning her head to look at Jilly.

  “Oh, my, my, my.”

  “Now don’t get upset,” the doctor cautioned.

  Leona touched Jilly’s face. “You’re so beautiful.”

  “Thank you. I look like my mama.”

  “Yes, but there’s something about your eyes—that soft quality. Oh, my, my, my.”

  “Don’t cry, Mom,” Tripp said.

  “I’m going to put these patches over your eyes,” the doctor intervened. “Just leave them on until you get inside your house, then your son has the instructions about care and the drops. I’ll see you at your next appointment.”
The doctor walked out.

  “Thank you, Camila,” Leona said. “Thank you for bringing Jilly.”

  “You’re welcome and I hope you continue to improve.”

  “You were right about it being so easy. I don’t know why I hesitated all these years.”

  “It’s done now and you’ll see so much better.”

  “Yes. I’m looking forward to seeing more of my granddaughter—that is if you’ll allow it.”

  “Mama’s cool, Grandma,” Jilly spoke up. “She’ll let me visit.”

  Leona groped for Jilly’s hand. “Thank you for calling me Grandma.”

  “We better be going,” Camila said, avoiding Tripp’s gaze, and they quickly left.

  Camila was still resisting change, but she was trying very hard not to—for Jilly. During the week she took Jilly several times to see her grandmother. She always dropped her off and picked her up later. She thought that was best. She and Tripp hadn’t talked again and she thought that was best, too.

  Camila’s relationship with her mother was changing for the better. Benita now helped her in the shop and customers loved Benita’s craziness. There was a lot of laughter when Benita was there and Camila regretted the times she’d shut her mother out with her coldness and the judgmental attitude of a child. A child who was now seeing life so differently—as a woman, a mother and a daughter.

  She wasn’t sure what had changed, except maturity and knowing Benita loved her seemed to make a world of difference. The fact that she could accept Benita for who she was and not want her to change was a big step forward.

  Jilly wanted to spend the weekend with her grandparents to help Leona, and Camila allowed it. On Friday afternoon, Jilly had a suitcase in her hand and Button under her arm, waiting for Tripp to pick her up.

  He arrived on time and Jilly put down her suitcase and hugged Camila. “Bye, Mama. I love you.”

  “Love you, too. I’ll see you on Sunday afternoon.” Jilly had spent the night at Kerri’s and Millie’s, but she’d never spent two nights away. This was going to be a long weekend for Camila.

  She waved goodbye and Tripp waved back. As the cowboy drove away, she’d never felt so alone in her life. Or afraid. And she wasn’t sure of what. The future. The unknown. That wasn’t it. She was afraid of love and all the emotions she felt for Tripp. She was afraid of getting hurt. It was easier to suppress what she was feeling. That’s what made her so afraid. How much longer could she continue to do this?