The Flame
Page 5
My shabby career
With a white cigarette
And a curtain of beer
I begged you to come
I begged on the phone
How wrong can you get
I was better alone
I am trying to finish
My shabby career
With a little truth
In the now and here
MOVING ON
I loved your face, I loved your hair
Your T-shirts and your eveningwear
As for the world, the job, the war
I ditched them all to love you more
And you’re gone, now you’re gone
As if there never was a you
Who broke the heart and made it new
Who’s moving on, who’s kidding who
I loved your moods, I loved the way
They threatened every single day
Your body ruled me, though it’s true
’Twas more hormonal than the view
And now you’re gone, now you’re gone
As if there never was a you
Queen of lilac, Queen of blue
Who’s moving on, who’s kidding who
I loved your face, I loved your hair
Your T-shirts and your eveningwear
As for the world, the job, the war
I ditched them all to love you more
And now you’re gone, now you’re gone
As if there never was a you
Held me dying, pulled me through
Who’s moving on, who’s kidding who
WAS I ALONE
Was I alone
When we swore
To keep it true
Was I alone
Or was I there
With you
Temptations
There were more
Than a few
Was I alone
Or was I there
With you
Was I alone
When the mind
Was split in two
Was I alone
Or was I there
With you
There was death
But I knew
What to do
Was I alone
Or was I there
With you
You’ll have to wait
If you’re waiting
For an argument
With me
You’ll have to wait
Till it’s over
And life and death
Agree
COME AND SEE
come and see
they will say
you did not know me
they will say
you did not love me
they will say
you did not thirst
for the taste of me
they will say i lied
about our youthful encounter
when i lifted my hem
and i let my form shine through
the folds
of a terrible day
40 years i wandered
in your desert
a moment of your beauty
and 40 years of breathlessness
to balance it
40 years of remorse
40 years of disappointment
sleep which gives no rest
caress which does not calm
excitement with no background
arousal from no depth
the shallows of excitement
because it was not you
and a hand across my mouth
to silence me
a clever fatigue
to shut me down
a knot in my throat
a blow to the brain
a sweet distraction
to kill the appetite
a flush of sugar
to kill the appetite
and then forgetting you
for 40 years
building houses
for women
whom you sent
to remind me
see how i failed you
but that doesn’t mean
it never happened
this began
and fizzled out
once again
too tired
to love you
or look for you
in the suffering
and did i forget to thank you
for what i felt
a moment ago
when you beckoned me
with god knows what
drunken promises
THANKS FOR THE DANCE
Thanks for the dance
It was hell, it was swell, it was fun
Thanks for all the dances
One two three, one two three one
There is a rose in your hair
Your shoulders are bare
It’s a costume
But I’m a believer
So turn up the music
Pour out the wine
Stop at the surface
The surface is fine
We don’t need to go any deeper
Thanks for the dance
I hear that we’re married
One two three, one two three one
Thanks for the dance
And the baby you carried
It was almost a daughter or a son
And there’s nothing to do
But to wonder if you
Are as tired as I am
Of leaving
We’re joined in the spirit
Joined at the hip
Joined in the panic
Wondering if
We’ve come to some sort
Of agreement
Thanks for the dance
It was hell, it was swell, it was fun
Thanks for all the dances
One two three, one two three one
It was fine, it was fast
We were first, we were last
In line at the
Temple of Pleasure
But the green was so green
And the blue was so blue
I was so I
And you were so you
The crisis was light
As a feather
Thanks for the dance
It was hell, it was swell, it was fun
Thanks for all the
dances
One two three, one two three one
A STREET
I used to be your favourite drunk
Good for one more laugh
Then we both ran out of luck
And luck was all we had
You put on a uniform
To fight the Civil War
I tried to join but no one liked
The side I’m fighting for
So let’s drink to when it’s over
And let’s drink to when we meet
I’II be standing on this corner
Where there used to be a street
You left me with the dishes
And a baby in the bath
And you’re tight with the militias
You wear their camouflage
I guess that makes us equal
But I want to march with you
An extra in the sequel
To the old red-white-and-blue
So let’s drink to when it’s over
And let’s drink to when we meet
I’ll be standing on this corner
Where there used to be a street
I cried for you this morning
And I’ll cry for you again
But I’m not in charge of sorrow
So please don’t ask me when
I know the burden’s heavy
As you bear it through the night
Some people say it’s empty
But that doesn’t mean it’s light
So let’s drink to when it’s over
And let’s drink to when we meet
I’ll be standing on this corner
Where there used to b
e a street
It’s going to be September now
For many years to come
Every heart adjusting
To the strict September drum
I see the Ghost of Culture
With the numbers on his wrist
Salute some new conclusion
Which all of us have missed
So let’s drink to when it’s over
And let’s drink to when we meet
I’ll be standing on this corner
Where there used to be a street
I PRAY FOR COURAGE
I pray for courage
Now I’m old
To greet the sickness
And the cold
I pray for courage
In the night
To bear the burden
Make it light
I pray for courage
In the time
When suffering comes and
Starts to climb
I pray for courage
At the end
To see death coming
As a friend
LYRICS
Blue Alert
BLUE ALERT
There’s perfume burning in the air
Bits of beauty everywhere
Shrapnel flying; soldier hit the dirt
She comes so close. You feel her then
She tells you No and No again
Your lip is cut on the edge of her pleated skirt
Blue Alert
Visions of her drawing near
Arise, abide, and disappear
You try to slow it down; it doesn’t work
It’s just another night I guess
All tangled up in nakedness
You even touch yourself
You’re such a flirt
Blue Alert
You know how nights like this begin
The kind of knot your heart gets in
Any way you turn is going to hurt
There’s perfume burning in the air
Bits of beauty everywhere
Shrapnel flying; soldier hit the dirt
Blue Alert.
She breaks the rules so you can see
She’s wilder than you’ll ever be
You talk religion but she won’t convert
Her body’s twenty stories high
You try to look away, you try
But all you want to do is get there first
Blue Alert
INNERMOST DOOR
Nowhere to go
Nothing to say
You won’t hear my voice
Till it’s far, far away
I’m too tired now
To fight anymore
We’re saying goodbye
At the innermost door
When I am alone
You’ll come back to me
It’s happened before
It’s called memory
I must go back
To where we began
When I was a woman
And you were a man
If you come with me
I’ll never begin
We made us a home
But the roof’s fallen in
When I am alone
You’ll come back to me
It’s happened before
It’s called memory
I’m not even sure
If I know where to start
But starting is second
First we must part
I’m too tired now
To fight anymore
We’re saying goodbye
At the innermost door
THE GOLDEN GATE
Looking back, to San Francisco
Wearing my blue Chinese dress
A yellow jacket with padded shoulders
Smoking Sobranie cigarettes
Four o’clock and the fog comes in
We all remember the sea
For several seconds our sins are forgiven
Mine against you, yours against me
Don’t wait for me and don’t be sorry
Forget all the letters we wrote
Leave to the foghorns our lonesome story
Let them sustain the heavy note
We order another margarita
Sipping it slow by the window
Nobody needs an Indian teacher
All they need is San Francisco
For we are driving most carefully home
Down roads that are floating and veiled
The Golden Gate
It’s still gold
It’s still great
Nobody’s drunk
Nothing has failed
HALF THE PERFECT WORLD
Every night she’d come to me
I’d cook for her, I’d pour her tea
She was in her thirties then
Had made some money, lived with men
We’d lay us down to give and get
Beneath the white mosquito net
And since no counting had begun
We lived a thousand years in one
The candles burned
The moon went down
The polished hill
The milky town
Transparent, weightless, luminous
Uncovering the two of us
On that fundamental ground
Where love’s unwilled, unleashed,
Unbound
And half the perfect world is found
NIGHTINGALE
I built my house beside the wood
So I could hear you singing
And it was sweet and it was good
And love was all beginning
Fare thee well my nightingale
’Twas long ago I found you
Now all your songs of beauty fail
The forest gathers round you
The sun goes down behind a veil
’Tis now when you would call me
So rest in peace my nightingale
Beneath your branch of holly
Fare thee well my nightingale
I lived but to be near you
Though you are singing somewhere still
I can no longer hear you
NO ONE AFTER YOU
I danced with a lot of men
Fought in an ugly war
Gave my heart to a mountain
But I never loved before
I’m nervous when you turn away
My heart is always sore
Tuxedo gave me diamonds
But I never loved before
Been on the road forever
I’m always passing through
But you’re my first love and my last
There is no one, no one after you
I’ve lived in many cities
From Paris to L.A.
I’ve known rags and riches
I’m a regular cliché
I tremble when you touch me
I want you more and more
I taught the Kama Sutra
But I never loved before
Been on the road forever
I’m always passing through
But you’re my first love and my last
There is no one, no one after you
Thought I knew the facts of life
But now I know the score
Been around the block and back
But I never loved before
NEVER GOT TO LOVE YOU
The parking lot is empty
They killed the neon sign
It’s dark from here to St. Jovite
It’s dark all down the line
They ought to hand the night a ticket
For speeding: it’s a crime
I had so much to tell you
But now it’s closing time
I never got to love you
Like I heard it can be done
Where the differences are many
But the heart is always one
The memories come back empty
Like their batteries are low
It
feels like you just left me
Tho’ it happened years ago
They’re stacking up the chairs
Wiping down the bar
I never got to tell you
How beautiful you are
I never got to love you
Like I heard it can be done
Where the differences are many
But the heart is always one
Don’t know how it happened
But I missed the exit sign
It’s dark from here to St. Jovite
It’s dark all down the line
THE MIST
As the mist leaves no scar
On the dark green hill
So my body leaves no scar
On you, nor ever will
When wind and hawk encounter
What remains to keep?
So you and I encounter
Then turn then fall to sleep
As many nights endure
Without a moon or star
So will we endure
When one is gone and far
CRAZY TO LOVE YOU
I had to go crazy to love you
Had to go down to the pit
Had to do time in the tower
Now I’m too tired to quit
I had to go crazy to love you
You who were never the one
Whom I chased through the souvenir heartache
My braids and my blouse all undone
Sometimes I’d head for the highway
I’m old and the mirrors don’t lie
But crazy has places to hide me
Deeper than saying goodbye
I had to go crazy to love you
Had to let everything fall
Had to be people I hated
Had to be no one at all
Tired of choosing desire
I’ve been saved by a blessed fatigue
The gates of commitment unwired
And nobody trying to leave
Sometimes I’d head for the highway
I’m old and the mirrors don’t lie
But crazy has places to hide me
Deeper than saying goodbye
THANKS FOR THE DANCE
Thanks for the dance
I’m sorry you’re tired
The evening has hardly begun
Thanks for the dance
Try to look inspired
One two three, one two three one
There’s a rose in my hair
My shoulders are bare
I’ve been wearing this
costume forever
Turn up the music
Pour out the wine
Stop at the surface
The surface is fine
We don’t need to go any deeper
Thanks for the dance
I hear that we’re married
One two three, one two three one
Thanks for the dance
And the baby I carried
It was almost a daughter or a son