The Flame

by Leonard Cohen

  I’ve got these excuses

  They’re tired and lame

  I don’t need a pardon

  There’s no one left to blame

  I’m leaving the table

  I’m out of the game

  IF I DIDN’T HAVE YOUR LOVE

  If the sun would lose its light

  And we lived an endless night

  And there was nothing left

  That you could feel

  That’s how it would be

  What the world would seem to me

  If I didn’t have your love

  To make it real

  If the stars were all unpinned

  And a cold and bitter wind

  Swallowed up the world

  Without a trace

  Well that’s where I would be

  What my life would seem to me

  If I couldn’t lift the veil

  And see your face

  If no leaves were on the tree

  And no water in the sea

  And the break of day

  Had nothing to reveal

  That’s how broken I would be

  What my life would seem to me

  If I didn’t have your love

  To make it real

  If the sun would lose its light

  And we lived an endless night

  And there was nothing left

  That you could feel

  If the sea were sand alone

  And the flowers made of stone

  And no one that you hurt

  Could ever heal

  That’s how broken I would be

  What my life would seem to me

  If I didn’t have your love

  To make it real

  TRAVELING LIGHT

  I’m traveling light

  It’s au revoir

  My once so bright

  My fallen star

  I’m running late

  They’ll close the bar

  I used to play

  One mean guitar

  I guess I’m just

  Somebody who

  Has given up

  On the me and you

  I’m not alone

  I’ve met a few

  Traveling light like

  We used to do

  Goodnight goodnight

  My fallen star

  I guess you’re right

  You always are

  I know you’re right

  About the blues

  You live some life

  You’d never choose

  I’m just a fool

  A dreamer who

  Forgot to dream

  Of the me and you

  I am not alone

  I’ve met a few

  Traveling light like

  We used to do

  Traveling light

  It’s au revoir

  My once so bright

  My fallen star

  I’m running late

  They’ll close the bar

  I used to play

  One mean guitar

  I guess I’m just

  Somebody who

  Has given up

  On the me and you

  I’m not alone

  I’ve met a few

  Traveling light like

  We used to do

  But if the road

  Leads back to you

  Must I forget

  The things I knew

  When I was friends

  With one or two

  Traveling light like

  We used to do

  I’m traveling light

  IT SEEMED THE BETTER WAY

  It seemed the better way

  When first I heard him speak

  But now it’s much too late

  To turn the other cheek

  Sounded like the truth

  Seemed the better way

  Sounded like the truth

  But it’s not the truth today

  I wonder what it was

  I wonder what it meant

  At first he touched on love

  But then he touched on death

  I better hold my tongue

  I better take my place

  Lift this glass of blood

  Try to say the grace

  STEER YOUR WAY

  Steer your way through the ruins of the Altar and the Mall

  Steer your way through the fables of Creation and The Fall

  Steer your way past the Palaces that rise above the rot

  Year by year

  Month by month

  Day by day

  Thought by thought

  Steer your heart past the Truth you believed in yesterday

  Such as Fundamental Goodness and the Wisdom of the Way

  Steer your heart, precious heart, past the women whom you bought

  Year by year

  Month by month

  Day by day

  Thought by thought

  Steer your way through the pain that is far more real than you

  That has smashed the Cosmic Model that has blinded every View

  And please don’t make me go there, tho’ there be a God or not

  Year by year

  Month by month

  Day by day

  Thought by thought

  They whisper still, the injured stones, the blunted mountains weep

  As he died to make men holy, let us die to make things cheap

  And say the Mea Culpa, which you’ve probably forgot

  Year by year

  Month by month

  Day by day

  Thought by thought

  Steer your way, O my heart, tho’ I have no right to ask,

  To the one who was never, never equal to the task

  Who knows he’s been convicted, who knows he will be shot

  Year by year

  Month by month

  Day by day

  Thought by thought

  Leonard and Peter

  Peter Dale Scott (b. 1929), a poet and scholar, is Professor Emeritus at the University of California, Berkeley. He is the son of Canadian poet F. R. Scott, who was Cohen’s tutor at McGill University. Scott sent Cohen an inscribed copy of his most recent volume of poems, Walking on Darkness. The subsequent e-mail exchange is recorded here, courtesy of Scott. The final text message is courtesy of Rebecca De Mornay.

  Leonard (from “You Want It Darker,” September 21, 2016):

  You want it darker / We kill the flame.…

  Peter (inscription in Walking on Darkness, October 1, 2016):

  If you want it darker

  This book is not for you

  I have always wanted it lighter

  And I think God does too

  Leonard (October 3, 2016):

  who says “i” want it darker?

  who says the “you” is “me”?

  god saved you in your harbor

  while millions died at sea

  you and god are buddies

  you know his wishes now

  here’s broken Job all bloodied

  who met him brow to brow

  there is a voice so powerful

  so easily unheard

  those that hear may hate it all

  but follow every word

  if you have not been asked

  to squat above the dead

  be happy that you’re deaf

  not something worse instead

  he will make it darker

  he will make it light

  according to his torah

  which leonard did not write

  Peter (October 4, 2016):

  Who says I know God’s wishes?

  I’ve not met brow to brow

  never had a chance to glimpse him

  and never hope to now

  But we who were raised in harbors

  while others burned from war

  have been free to choose which voices

  made us what we are.

  Leonard (October 4, 2016):


  That was great fun.

  Be well, dear friends.

  Much love,

  Eliezer

  Leonard (November 6, 2016, 3 p.m., in response to a photo of Peter and Sophia De Mornay-O’Neal):

  Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

  SELECTIONS FROM THE NOTEBOOKS

  but the times are long

  it’s all a long time gone

  when I had an honest job

  and Annie called me darling

  ***

  I don’t want to greet

  the morning light

  with a night like this

  in my heart soul

  Have mercy on those shadows

  that fall in love with shadows

  ***

  You’re going to fall some day

  into a wild embrace

  with one who turns away

  so you cannot see his face

  You won’t know who you are

  You won’t know who he is

  There’s no one there to know

  a love so wild as this

  He won’t be there before you

  He won’t be here within

  There’ll be no border to the heart

  or boundary to the skin

  He isn’t there before you

  isn’t here within

  No border to the heart

  or boundary to the skin

  ***

  When we are apart

  and the moon is full

  My longing

  paints your hands

  on the full moon

  If you read this by candlelight

  as it was written

  if you are alone in a room

  as I am

  you will know that I love you

  dear and distant wife

  ***

  Formless dinosaurs

  Ignorant of our stern judgement

  the dinosaurs graze on stars

  in the fields of night

  I have no sorrow left

  I neglected you a long time

  but I neglected myself even longer

  This night will never end

  The morning will come to wash it away

  with sunlight and commotion

  I have no sorrow left

  The stars are too dim for the night

  I have no sorrow left

  for the dinosaur

  grazing on stars

  in the fields of night

  ***

  I loved my friends

  I talked to them

  for hours and hours

  and I began

  to want to be beautiful

  and I grew

  to hate beauty in others

  Mind you

  a monster

  is not always beautiful

  ***

  and here is a voice

  I have been listening to

  for a long time

  it says: O G-d, I love you

  it says: Child, I love you back

  ***

  Wednesday 17th May 00

  Thanks for turning me on

  with your hatred of sex and men

  and your drunken kisses

  which were like someone

  trying to eat my voice raw

  like a living oyster

  The Tibetan fairy-tales

  of coming back

  in a brand-new sack

  to finish off your dinner

  right to the end I wanted you

  right to the bitter end

  your breath like a morgue

  your flesh undone

  your juices gone

  I was still sifting through

  your boring conversation

  for traces, for hints

  that you ever thought of me

  with longing

  and found none

  Thank you Heather

  thanks for turning me on

  and after a while I gave up

  trying to satisfy you

  I just wanted to stick it in

  under any circumstances

  self-respect, tenderness

  every mask was torn

  just a hunger with an arm

  thanks for turning me on

  just to be inside of you

  just to know

  for one fraction of a measure

  that we were in

  the world together

  thank you, Beloved

  for turning me off

  and for turning me on

  I thank the nameless one

  and I thank the nameless many

  ***

  L.A.

  Friday August 5[?], 2000

  I wanted you to love me

  I needed you to love me

  I had to have you love me

  but what I meant

  or who I meant

  I still don’t have a clue

  except that I was lonely

  and there was only you

  ***

  9 am Sunday, Aug 7, 2000

  If they never played the game

  how could they know the score

  Don’t go down to Westmount Station

  Those trains don’t run no more

  The bullet trains of Tokyo

  The monorail

  The TGV

  They’ll let you know

  what transportation’s for

  But don’t go down to Westm’t Station

  Those old trains don’t run no more

  Those stories that your father knows

  ***

  Friday August 11 [?]

  I came to you with sorrow

  and I promised more tomorrow

  you said, Come to Me with bread

  I said, Lord, I am a victim

  I cannot make a living

  That’s why you employed me with the dead

  ***

  she loved me

  I’m only quoting her

  she’s gone now

  I feel much quieter

  no beauty

  but then neither am I

  alone now

  ***

  he wasn’t as lean as Bogart

  or short as Alan Ladd

  but his songs would last forever

  and some already had

  I could have been the Ace of Spades

  if I was only black

  I could have been the Prince of Peace

  but Jesus’s coming back

  I could have been the Beauty Queen

  but I had too much hair

  I could have stood where Moses stood

  but he was standing there

  I could have been a millionaire

  but money ruined my life

  I could have been the Master [?]

  I didn’t want your wife

  As a child I had the dream

  that I might speak in the highest name

  and gather many broken {noble} hearts

  to homeward [?]

  and I was judged by those

  who spoke more sweetly than I could

  and I was judged by those

  whose suffering made them dumb

  The judgement was, Be silent, child

  be silent in the world of men

  O bitter silence that I held

  while omens burned the gypsy [?] dust

  and wires cut the {faithful} {widow?} riders down

  and every holy word was turned

  to serve the greed and muting of mind

  O bitter silence, bitter calm I spread

  while every soul {law} was drowned

  below the poison tide and now the vile

  abominations rose to rule and regulate

  the very breathing of the soul

  and still the judgement was

  Be silent, Child, you are too weak {you are too rich},

  you are too young

  and this world came, and men like you and me, gold in the tooth, gold in the tas
te, gold in the brain, and great champions of silence came, missionaries of the void, and someone said, and someone said there’s nothing left, there’s nothing next, be human in the human world, be calm, be calm, and in my heart I hated this vast tyranny of peace. I could not hear the judgement and I fell in love with everyone who fell in love with me

  ***

  Simple Songs

  with everybody singing

  and someone saying

  sing us “Born to Lose”

  and Hershorn takes

  his daughter’s ukulele

  and everybody listens

  to the news

  Simple songs with everybody singing

  I forget them soon I let them go

  The anthems & the prayers of lonely people

  ***

  It is going to be like this

  Sitting at a bar in Geneva

  or is it Zurich

  I can never tell which

  Carolina, Carolina

  I can never tell which

  Bridge

  It is a nice place here

  They don’t mind you smoking either

  Everybody’s smoking & drinking

  in Geneva or Zurich

  Carolina, Carolina

  are we ever

  going to get together again

  Sometimes I think so

  Sometimes I don’t

  I don’t think I do tonight

  I think I don’t

  Carolina, Carolina,

  in Zurich or Geneva

  I don’t think we’re going

  to get together ever again

  ***

  This time, baby, gonna ask for the moon

  gonna ask the rainbow to deliver

  the treasure right now, not later, not soon

  If it rains, the rain’s got to be silver

  got to hear it in the arms of my lover

  no other place will do. I want it all,

  the whole fucking cross, not just a splinter.

  I don’t just want my kick, I want the ball

  and if it’s got to be a stone, I want the wall.

  Take my gloves

  Take my helmet

  take my belt

  my forty-five

  I don’t need them

  where I’m going

  you don’t have to talk no more

  you can rest awhile

  There ain’t no words

  where you are going

  O my fathers

  I have listened

  to your whispering

  in the air

  I have heard you

  talk all morning

  Midnight I have

  heard your prayer

  Take my knife

  my silver bullets

  take the woman

  by my side

  I can’t have her,

  where I’m going

  I can’t even

  tell her why

  ***

  all those broken hearts

  & you ain’t gonna stop it

  when it starts

  ***

  Baby, I can’t speak {talk} about

  the hundred thousand darknesses

  that go around insisting