Harry St Clair: Rogue or Doctor?

by Fiona McArthur

  Mardi shook her head and this time Bonnie saw the start of the glint of tears in her beautiful brown eyes. ‘Perhaps I am a little fearful.’

  Fear was the last thing a woman in labour needed. ‘Is your husband’s mother here?’

  Mardi’s coil shifted slightly again. ‘She died at his birth. Which is why he wishes for me to have the midwife. His grandmother is here, but she cannot see well. His brother’s wife is here and had one son in the hospital.’

  Bonnie wanted to hug her but she also didn’t want to intrude if she wasn’t wanted. ‘I’m a midwife in Australia. Can I help you?’

  Bonnie glanced over her shoulder, hoping to catch the eye of Harry, but he was still laughing with the Portuguese girls.

  She glared at him in frustration. As if she’d touched him, or thrown something at him, he stopped what he was saying and glanced her way. Without a word he crossed the road to her side.

  He nodded at Mardi and lowered his voice as he looked at Bonnie. ‘Is everything all right?’

  Bonnie was thrown for a moment. Coincidence? Telepathy? She had no idea how that had worked. He’d been receptive and come quickly. The concept that she’d called him without words sent a trickle of unease through her. That was too much connection.

  No. Just coincidence, that’s all.

  The thought was closely followed by the priorities she’d let slip as Mardi drew another sharp breath. ‘We need to find Mardi’s husband because she’s going into labour.’

  Bonnie had no doubt now. Just looking at Mardi, anyone would tell the time for false labour had passed and she’d bet her borrowed pushbike the baby would come today. ‘He’s away to save money for the midwife.’

  To her surprise Harry paled and then seemed to shake himself into sense. His eyes narrowed and she could almost see his mind weighing the options. For a carefree surfer he was on the ball quickly. ‘I’ll take you to the hospital. The backup vehicle for the bike ride is parked outside.’

  One lone tear slid down Mardi’s cheek. ‘I don’t want to go to the hospital without my husband. I will wait for him.’

  ‘Hospitals cost a lot,’ Bonnie murmured quietly, as if mentioning a common fact, and Harry looked at her and nodded but he wasn’t happy.

  He rubbed his neck. ‘But will that baby wait for you both?’ Harry said what Bonnie was thinking. Mardi bit back a moan and Harry looked at Bonnie.

  A glance akin to horror lurked in his eyes, again totally unexpected. But she guessed laypeople were often fazed by the myths and misconceptions surrounding childbirth.

  ‘Birth’s a normal event,’ she couldn’t help saying. ‘Could you get Mardi’s sister-in-law, please? And a doctor, if you can find one.’ Bonnie rested her hand on Mardi’s arm. ‘Perhaps we could go to your house and you could collect what you would need to take with you, for when your husband arrives?’

  In fact, Bonnie wanted to see where they could have this baby if it came more quickly than any of them anticipated.

  ‘We could do that,’ Mardi whispered, and she stood gingerly when the next contraction had passed. Bonnie mentally rifled through the belongings she had on her that could be helpful, but she’d only carried a waist pack that held very little.

  She gave herself a mental shake. Harry would sort something out if she asked him. The important thing was to get Mardi comfortable and semiprepared for her baby’s possibly precipitous arrival.

  This wasn’t an unusual scenario in Outback Australia if a baby arrived early and one that didn’t faze Bonnie too much. Though it would’ve been nice if there was a doctor around to share the load, in case of an emergency. She doubted she’d be legal to practise in a foreign country.

  Harry strode off to search out Mardi’s sister-in-law and as he walked he fumed at the cruelty of fate.

  Why now, why here, why him? It was all very well for Bonnie to be blasé about birth, typical midwife, but she hadn’t seen what he had. The last thing he wanted was a medical catastrophe in a Third World village. He’d have to be the doctor, get involved, and probably still not be able to improve the outcome.

  He should never have come here with her. It was his own stupid fault. He’d known women were trouble he needed to avoid.

  He caught sight of his quarry, Mardi’s sister-in-law, and hastened his footsteps. Maybe if they found Mardi’s husband quickly they could still get to the hospital in time. But if he’d interpreted Bonnie’s face correctly, she had her doubts. He had his own.

  Bonnie and Mardi had left the industrious centre of the village and moved into the narrow street of the family dwellings. Bonnie counted four buildings in a smaller compound and one stood higher than the rest, with steep steps leading up to the small veranda.

  Mardi intercepted Bonnie’s glance. ‘My husband’s grandparents’ house. The grandparent house is higher than others as a mark of respect. As it should be.’

  Mardi gestured down at a round shiny river rock to the left of the grandparent’s steep steps. ‘There lies the placenta of my husband’s nephew. It is my husband’s task to clean and bury our child’s placenta below these steps.’

  ‘So one stone, one grandchild?’

  ‘That is correct. And should I have a girl it would be buried on the right side of the step.’

  Bonnie grinned. She loved it. This was delicious food for a midwife’s soul. Fabulous information, and she wondered if Harry was aware of it.

  The next building they passed contained two sparse kitchens, side by side, and Mardi glanced inside. Despite her worries, Mardi smiled. ‘This kitchen is mine, and the other belongs to my husband’s brother’s wife, Nyomen. It is said peace cannot exist if two women have to share a kitchen.’

  ‘What a sensible arrangement.’ Bonnie smiled with her. ‘I can see that everyone lives very close together here.’

  ‘Family is very important in Bali.’ They both slipped off their shoes and Mardi gestured to Bonnie to precede her up the stairs to a room that shared a veranda with another room. ‘This is my home. Everybody knows everyone else’s business. We share all joys and sorrows. You cannot help but do so when we live this close.’

  ‘And what is the other building that looks like a covered platform?’

  ‘That is where we hold our ceremonies. Where my child will be blessed when three months old and can first touch the ground.’

  Bonnie couldn’t help a brief sidetrack. ‘Three months before a baby can touch the ground?’

  Mardi nodded. ‘To touch the ground before then would allow the chance of evil spirits to enter a child.’

  She’d bet some parents at home would disagree with that but she could see the warmth and benefit in a child knowing a pair of arms would always be there for them. No wonder the Balinese people smiled so much—they knew how much love and care was taken of them from the moment of birth.

  Mardi stopped and leant against the doorframe. Bonnie waited quietly beside her and let her thoughts drift into that distant space she seemed to go to when she was waiting with a woman—not really a daydream when she thought of other things, more of a holding pattern that didn’t use any energy or was distracting for the woman, that just ‘was’, while she waited.

  The pain eased and Mardi moved inside the house just as her sister-in-law, Nyomen, arrived with Harry and glided up the stairs to help.

  The two women embraced and Bonnie moved back to the edge of the veranda as Nyomen gathered several sarongs and a water bottle.

  When the young mother-to-be stopped and leant against her sister-in-law again, Bonnie leant down to speak to Harry. ‘Is her husband coming?’

  Harry nodded stiffly, strain in every line of his body. ‘He should be here soon.’

  Good. But she doubted this baby would wait. ‘So, ever been present for a birth, Harry?’ His face closed and she could feel her own forehead crease. That looked bad.

  So when he said, ‘No,’ she was almost surprised.

  ‘Ah.’ Pretending not to be surprised. ‘That explains your nerves. Everything will
be fine.’

  ‘No, thanks. Let’s get her out of here.’ Harry’s face held the granite stiffness she’d seen at the pool the day she’d first seen him. There were things going on here she couldn’t fully fathom and unfortunately now wasn’t the time to ask.

  She rested her hand on his arm and he looked at her. ‘We’ll all be fine.’ Bonnie actually felt sorry for him. ‘She won’t go to the hospital until her husband arrives. I’m afraid it’s too late for that, anyway.’

  She thought he’d heard her and accepted that, but then he shook his head as if waking from a trance. ‘It’s not too late. I’m not stupid. Let’s grab her and go.’

  She touched his arm again. ‘Harry. Listen to me.’ Her voice was very quiet so as not to disturb the labouring woman. ‘And what? Have the baby in that old bus?’

  She saw the moment when he really saw her, saw her logic, had to accept reality and the impending birth. He ran his hands through his hair and gradually his face softened, though there was no doubting his reluctance to face the inevitable. She saw the flash of pain that followed and was quickly hidden. ‘You’re right. I’m sorry. Lost it for a moment there.’

  ‘It must have been a very bad experience,’ she said quietly. There was more history here than she’d anticipated. ‘What can I do to help you, Harry?’

  ‘Nothing.’ He glanced at her and then away. Every barrier in place shielding him from her empathy. ‘Now, what do you need?’

  He was right. Maybe she had it wrong. This was the response she’d expected from Harry. Thank goodness. She felt the pack around her waist and undid the zipper.

  ‘I don’t imagine I’ll be doing much. I just want to be here to help keep Mardi and her baby safe. Maybe good old-fashioned boiling water to sterilise some string and a knife to cut the cord.’ She patted the miniature bottle of hand-sanitiser she always kept in her bag. ‘Or I could clean the knife with this.’ She looked around. ‘And maybe a dish of warm water to sponge Mardi with afterwards.’

  ‘What about the drugs you won’t have?’

  It seemed a strange thing to say but she shrugged it off. ‘She’s healthy and we don’t have any. She’ll breastfeed. This is what women are designed to do. Her body will look after her. Why should she be unlucky?’

  He held up his hands. ‘Okay. Just thought I’d mention it.’

  ‘Maybe there is one thing. Will you reassure Mardi and Nyomen I’m a midwife and I’d like to stay until after the baby is born if her husband doesn’t arrive in time? The most important thing is for her not to be frightened.’

  He sighed. ‘I can do that.’ And more quietly so she only just heard, ‘That’s about all I’m good for.’

  When he’d finished speaking the two women nodded their consent, and there was relief in both faces, relief that made Harry grimace as he turned back to her.

  ‘I’ll go see about the string and the water.’

  Mardi made a small moaning noise, and Nyomen gestured to Bonnie to come inside the house. The women had made a small bed on the floor, and a neat pile of older sarongs had been placed beside her.

  Bonnie washed her hands with the antiseptic, and offered it to the other women. Then she sat back a little and folded her hands. There was nothing she could do. She could see the baby moving under his mother’s loosened sarong so that was a good sign. It was time to wait.

  By the time Harry returned they’d set up a little screen with another sarong and the elderly grandmother was also in the room.

  He wished himself anywhere but there. Even back out on the street. Back with the tourists. His nerves crawled with anxiety—not a normal reaction for a damn doctor, he told himself, but this was how things went wrong. This was what he’d decided he’d never get involved in again. Had told himself he didn’t have to get involved with again because he could easily avoid becoming drawn in.

  How Bonnie had stopped him from picking up Mardi and rushing her to the hospital he didn’t know. But then, if she was as close as Bonnie said, the idea of the baby being born halfway down the mountain was no better anyway.

  The sudden unmistakable sound of a baby’s wail drifted from the room above him, and he looked up to hear the muted voices of happy women and even a laugh from the grandmother. His shoulders sagged and he felt like dropping his head into his hands as well.

  Relief flooded over him. Waves of emotion he hadn’t wanted. Overwhelming, and it was harrowing how close he’d been to inappropriate action. Maybe it was time to rationalise how much he needed to confront his issues.

  He almost wished he hadn’t met this pesky midwife, but couldn’t quite convince himself that was true.

  The relief inside expanded into unexpected pride—for clever Mardi, the unfazeable Bonnie, and the fact that he had trusted enough. Just.

  The sound of running feet heralded the arrival of Mardi’s stunned husband, and the poor man kicked his shoes off and bolted up the stairs to greet his wife and new daughter. Harry smiled at the voluble thanks that were being heaped on Bonnie’s head. He let the sounds wash over him. He’d translate when they were on their own.

  Finally Bonnie reappeared, a huge smile on her face, her eyes alight with the joy of the moment, and he could see how she revelled in her vocation. Lucky her. But he couldn’t help that darker sliver of reality that said she’d been lucky.

  Some people weren’t that lucky.

  Bonnie drifted out of the compound on a high, stunned again at the beauty and simplicity of childbirth, the pure blessing of a newborn baby and the luck of being a witness to it all.

  Then she realised the bike ride had gone on without them.

  ‘We’ll catch them at lunch.’ Harry smiled at her, but the strain hadn’t been erased from his features and he looked far from carefree and relaxed. ‘I thought it might be therapeutic to just keep rolling down the hill to soak in the morning rather than get a lift to catch up with the others.’

  ‘Perfect.’ He was right. She still had that smile on her face from the birth and everything seemed brighter and more precious as they cycled along.

  ‘I gather there were no hitches to the birth?’

  She heard him but it took her a couple of seconds to pull her brain back from euphoria. ‘Baby’s shoulders were a little tight but a change in position sorted that.’ Joy bubbled and sang inside her and she wouldn’t have given away this day for the world.

  She watched Harry bounce airborne over a little hump in the road and she laughed out loud.

  The birth had been incredible, Mardi a delight and the baby so gorgeous and big-eyed it brought the tears to her face again just remembering.

  Harry felt like a heel. And a surly one at that. He wanted to share her joy but his mind kept returning to what could have gone wrong. To what had gone wrong in the past. He was so used to shutting people down he’d got out of practice at opening up. And there was something about Bonnie that made him want to share a little of himself for the first time in a long time.

  She’d been so incredible at the village and he shuddered to think he might have been on his own and would have had to cope with that.

  Though she was smiling when he looked back, he caught a glint of tears in her eyes and the sight nearly knocked him off his bike. He’d upset her. Harry veered closer. ‘Are you all right?’

  ‘Yes.’ The smile she turned on him was even more of an assault than her tears. ‘Just reliving the moment.’

  The birth was making her emotional, not him. He’d forgotten how different women’s thought processes were from men’s.

  The last thing he wanted to do was relive his trepidation during the birth. ‘No, thanks,’ Harry muttered, and she smiled again as if she understood. But how could she? She had no idea.

  ‘Thanks for being there, Harry.’

  He could feel those damn walls crumbling all over. ‘Don’t ask again.’

  ‘Now who’s the wimp?’ she teased him. Something had changed for ever between them. They could never really be strangers again after this and they
both knew it.

  Was he a wimp? No doubt of that. He didn’t say anything and she smiled again.

  ‘This is so great. Thanks for finishing the ride. It would have been such an anticlimax to climb back into the bus and get dropped back at the hotel.’

  ‘Hmm.’ But then he looked across at her and couldn’t help agreeing with her. The words came out before he realised what he’d been going to say. ‘You’re pretty amazing, you know.’

  She shook her head and her ponytail wagged. ‘Not me. It’s birthing women who’re amazing.’

  ‘Spare me from the midwife.’ He rolled his eyes.

  Her face shifted to serious, the softness of laughter fading away, and he had the feeling she was going to say something he wouldn’t like. ‘Yes, I will. Spare you my presence. Tomorrow morning, when I fly back to Australia.’

  ‘Tomorrow?’ That hit him harder than he would have believed possible. ‘I thought you had another couple of days?’

  She shrugged her shoulders and the bike wobbled. He wished she wouldn’t do that. ‘I had a call last night, and they’re short at my next posting.’ She glanced at him. ‘The fill-in medical officer isn’t going to show and I’m flying back tomorrow to help cover.’

  Too soon. Far too soon. But how ironic. She was going to Uluru early and it was his fault. ‘It’s not your problem until you start.’

  She flicked a frown at him before looking back at the road.

  She was going. Just when he’d dared to risk opening up. See, he told himself. You are better pushing people away.

  Then she said, ‘Have you always been like this?’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘Egotistical, self-absorbed.’ The words hit him like the splashes of mud he’d just pedalled through. Sticking to him. Was he? Or just plain scared?

  They were passing through a village and two young boys ran out holding up their hands. Bonnie swerved because she wasn’t concentrating and nearly collided with Harry, who took evasive action more easily than she had.

  ‘Whoa, there,’ Harry cautioned, though he still managed to high-five the two boys. Squeals of delight followed them down the road and he could feel a smile tug at his lips. He did enjoy seeing the village children.