BWWM: Bad Boy Billionaires Box Set (A Bad Boy BWWM Billionaire Collection)

by Jameson, Jasmine

  By the time I got back home, it was dark out. Even though I had spent days in bed, I was tired and ready to go to sleep again. I kicked off my shoes and made my way to the bedroom. I had to find out where Christoff was. My stomach was in knots over not hearing from him. At that moment, I would have rather been fighting with him than not hearing from him at all.

  I picked up the phone and dialed his number. My heart was threatening to explode inside of my chest as I waited for him to pick up. Just when I thought it was about to go into voicemail, I heard someone pick up but they didn’t say anything.

  “Christoff?” After a few moments of silence of I heard Christoff’s voice for the first time in far too long.

  “I can’t talk right now Gia.” His voice was muffled.

  “Why not? I haven’t heard from you in days. I understand that you’re mad at me, and I deserve it, but I really want to make things better between us. Please talk to me.”

  “Not right now Gia. I have to take care of some stuff. It has nothing to do with you. After you told me what you did with Axel I went out and-” Christoff’s voice trailed off.

  “What are you saying Christoff?”

  “I did something really stupid. I wasn’t thinking. Anyway I’m kind of in a jam now. We’ll talk about it later. I gotta go now. Bye Gia.” I could hear a deep sense of suffering in his voice.

  “Bye Christoff. I love you.” All I heard was the sound of the call disconnecting in return. Christoff had never been so short with me before, not even when we were on a break. He sounded really tense. I wondered what he meant when he said he went out and did something stupid. My stomach turned as I wondered if he had gone out and hurt Axel. Was Christoff capable of murder? I felt a pang of anxiety as I realized that if he didn’t hurt Axel he probably went out and got with another girl to get back at me if not both. The more I thought about it the more it seemed like he was cheating on me. All my muscles tensed as a quiet rage brewed inside of me. I knew that what I did with Axel was wrong but I didn’t deserve the way Christoff was treating me. Not coming home for three days and possibly being with someone else and now giving me the silent treatment was too much. We weren’t even together when I had my indiscretion with Axel. If he had run off with someone else after we vowed to work on things between us, I would never forgive him.

  I went downstairs and poured a glass of whiskey and dialed Amber on the phone as my eyes watered with anger. I prayed she picked up.

  “Gia! Hey girl! What’s up?”

  I couldn’t find words to express to Amber what was going on. I had no proof of anything. All I knew was that I was upset. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but I couldn’t stop the tears from overflowing and rolling down my cheeks.

  “Amber…” my voice cracked.

  “Gia, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

  “No, I’m not okay,” I whispered. “I think Christoff is cheating on me.” My throat tightened as I heard myself say the words out loud.

  “Aww Gia. I’m so sorry. Why do you think that?”

  I took a deep breath.

  “We were having some problems and he disappeared. He’s been gone for three days now. I tried to call him, but he said he couldn’t talk and that he had gone and done something stupid. The more I think about it, the more I know he’s cheating.”

  “Oh my God Gia, I can’t stand seeing you hurt like this. I want to kill him. You deserve so much better, Gia. You are so beautiful and talented and funny and caring…there just aren’t enough words to describe how awesome you are. Any man who can’t see that is blind.”

  “But Amber you don’t understand.” I took a deep breath. “I think it’s my fault. I fucked up and pushed him away again.”

  “No, Gia. Christoff’s bad behavior is not your fault. Clearly he’s an asshole just like every other man in the industry. Don’t blame yourself. Fuck him, Gia. Fuck him and every other man out there who doesn’t know how to keep it in his pants. I’m so tired of men thinking they can just treat women like shit with no consequences. Gia, we deserve men who treat us like queens, not men who make us blame and second-guess ourselves just because they are big babies with no self-control.” I don’t think I had ever heard Amber speak so passionately before. I could tell that after what happened with Peyton she was hurting enough for both of us.

  I dried my tears with the back of my hand.

  “You know what. You are absolutely right Amber!” I took a long sip of whiskey. “I can do much better. I’ve put so much of myself into this relationship and lately I’m getting nothing in return. Nothing but grief and heartache. I don’t need this. I have so much to offer. If Christoff can’t see that, then, like you said, fuck him.” I practically spat my words. I took two more swallows of whiskey.

  “You’re so strong Gia. I know you aren’t going to let Christoff get away with this. There needs to be some consequences for his actions. Same with Peyton. We should make those assholes suffer!”

  “I’ll drink to that.” I finished the last of my whiskey in one gulp. I was all riled up and so was Amber. I had never heard her swear so much. I actually appreciated seeing this new fiery side of her. If Amber and I stuck together, I knew that we could get through this and anything else life could throw at us. “Amber thanks for being there for me. I know that, with you by my side, I can get through anything.”

  “Same here Gia.” We sat in silence for a few minutes.

  “Well, I’m really tired, and my stomach feels sick. I’m going to go lie down. I may need to talk tomorrow. Will you be around?”

  “For you, I can be. Call me if you need me. You deserve better Gia remember that.”

  “Thanks, Amber. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  ***

  The sound of footsteps jolted me out of my sleep. I sat upright in bed and looked over at the clock on my night stand. It was 6 a.m. My head was throbbing. I held my breath and listened again. I heard a door down the hall open and footsteps come toward the bedroom. I swung my legs around and put my feet on the floor. Just as I stood to investigate, the bedroom door opened, and I was standing face-to-face with the man who was breaking my heart. His sapphire eyes looked sullen. We stared at each other in silence for several moments before Christoff stepped forward and pulled me into his embrace. I melted into his arms as I became overwhelmed with emotion. My eyes watered and my body was shaking uncontrollably. I was relieved to be back in Christoff’s arms, but I was livid over what he had put me through. I squeezed him as I tried to maintain my composure.

  “Why are you doing this to me?” I breathed through clenched teeth. “If you don’t want to be with me, just say so instead of running around town behind my back and leaving me sick with grief for days at a time.” I pushed away from him and went to sit on the bed. I closed my eyes for several moments to stop myself from crying. When I opened them, Christoff was standing above me. He looked tired and broken. From the look on his face and the redness in his eyes, it looked like he had been suffering as much as I had, but I had no sympathy for him. Like Amber said, I deserved better. “You were with someone else weren’t you?” I asked quietly not really wanting to know the answer.

  “I know it looks bad, but it’s not what you think Gia. I swear.” He took my face in both of his hands and kissed me on the forehead.

  “What is going on with you, Christoff? Something is definitely not right. You seem strange.” I bit my lip as I tried to make sense of why Christoff had been gone for so long and why he’d been acting so strangely.

  “You hooked up with one of my best friends. How am I supposed to react to that?” The words seem to get caught in Christoff’s throat. All of my guilt from my mistake with Axel came flooding back to me. Christoff landed heavily as he sat down on the bed. We were sitting really close to each other, but he wouldn’t look at me.

  “I’m sorry Christoff. I know that what I did was wrong, but I was just so lonely. I was hurting so bad that I didn’t know what to do with myself. Axel ju
st came over to show me some music, and he talked to me, and I hadn’t really talked to anyone in so long. He made me feel wanted. We had been drinking, and one thing led to another. But I swear I stopped him as soon as I came to my senses. We didn’t go all the way. I felt so sick once I realized what I was doing. I’m so sorry Christoff.”

  Christoff took my hand in his, but he still wouldn’t look at me.

  “Gia I can’t promise you that I’m going to be able to get over this, but for right now I’m going to have to let it go. I kind of lost control after I found out what you did. From the moment you told me, all I could see was red. I totally fucked up and got myself into some trouble that I really don’t know how to get out of. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me, Gia. And, in turn, I don’t know what’s going to happen to us. Despite all of the hurt feelings between us, it feels so good to be sitting next to you right now. Even though my world is upside down right now, I felt a sense of peace as soon as I had you back in my arms. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still pissed about what happened with you and Axel, but I really do love you, Gia, and I don’t think anything could change that.

  Despite my anger toward Christoff for causing me so much pain, his words melted my heart. I knew this was as close to forgiveness as I was going to get for now, but, for the first time in a long time, I felt absolutely confident that Christoff and I could work things out and get back to how we used to be before our break. Even though I felt better about things with Christoff, I felt an aching pit in my stomach as I wondered what kind of trouble he had gotten himself into.

  The next morning when I woke up, I instinctively reached for Christoff, but he was not in bed. My heart raced as I wondered if he had run off again. I tossed the sheets off of me and raced downstairs to see if his car was out back. I breezed past the kitchen, through the laundry room and to the back door.

  “Gia, where are you going?” Christoff’s voice came from out of nowhere. I was so startled that I screamed and jumped in the air. I slammed the door shut, turned around, and leaned my back against it while I caught my breath. Christoff was sitting at the breakfast bar. I was so intent on playing sleuth and trying to figure out where he had run off to, and with whom, that I didn’t even see him there.

  When I had finally managed to stop shaking, I locked the door and walked back into the kitchen. “I was looking for you.”

  “Outside?”

  “I wanted to see if your car was out there. When you weren’t in bed, I thought you had left.”

  “What would make you think that I had left?” Christoff’s tone was tense.

  “Because just earlier this week you ran off and didn’t talk to me for several days. Why are you interrogating me anyway?” My tone came out harsher than I intended it to. I felt a pang of anxiety in my stomach. I didn’t know what exactly was wrong but something just wasn’t right. Christoff’s edginess was making me uneasy.

  “I’m not interrogating you. I was just wondering why you were sneaking out the back door in your underwear.” I looked down, a little shocked that I was barefoot and was wearing just a t-shirt and panties. I had been so frantic when I realized that Christoff wasn’t in bed, I didn’t even think to get dressed.

  “Well I was just wondering why you weren’t in bed when I woke up. You’ve been acting so strange lately I thought maybe you had gotten up early and wound up in someone else’s bed.” I wished that I could take back my words as soon as they left my lips.

  “Gia, are we back here again? And wait, you’re worried about me being someone else’s bed? How’s that? Unless, I just woke up from a nightmare, I could have sworn you were the one who wound up in someone else’s bed not me,” Christoff spat. He didn’t raise his voice but I could feel his contempt.

  “Well, at least I came to you and was honest and admitted it. I’m certain you have done things with other women that were much worse than the mistake I made with Axel. The only difference is, you’re so good at sneaking behind people’s back that you know how to get away with it. That’s the only difference.” I spoke so passionately that my blood rushed to my face. Christoff’s jaw tightened, and he narrowed his eyes and leaned back in his chair.

  “Gia, really? Is that what you think of me? When you look at me is that what you see? A liar? A cheater?” Christoff’s face contorted with disgust. “Before I left for Germany, I told you how shitty it made me feel that you didn’t trust me. And now, even after we talked about it, after we had a break, and after I came back to you despite you….you hooking up one of my best friends…my bandmate behind my back, you still continue to be suspicious of me and accuse me of being something I’m not. What nerve. Gia? Really? How could you?” Christoff was usually pretty reserved even when he was angry but not this time. I had never seen him emote like this before. He was almost yelling. His tone made me shake uncontrollably.

  “Christoff , I know that my hands are not clean but do not play the innocent victim here. Don’t make me out to be this crazy, suspicious, jealous woman. You have a long track record of infidelity, Christoff. For as long as you’ve been in the public eye, I can’t think of one partner that you were faithful to,” I said sharply.

  “You read a few articles on me before we met and suddenly you think you know my entire past. Is that how this works? And not that my past should matter anyway, but I have had plenty of partners that I was faithful to.”

  “Really, Christoff? Plenty?” I put my hands on my hips and raised my eyebrows.

  “I’ve been faithful to you, so what the hell does it matter, Gia? My past is my past, and there isn’t really anything I can do to change it, so I don’t know what good you think you’re doing by throwing it in my face.”

  “Well, you keep throwing the Axel thing in my face-”

  “Listen to me…” Christoff abruptly cut me off. “One: I don’t really want to hear you saying his name again. Two: of course I keep bringing it up because it just happened. Three: he was one of my best friends, Gia! How would you feel if I messed around with Amber?” My eyes began to smart and I almost vomited at the thought. “Oh, so messing around with your best friend is off limits I see. I can tell by the look on your face that now you finally get how fucked up this situation makes me feel.”

  I swallowed hard before speaking.

  “I’ve always understood your pain, Christoff, more than you know. I feel awful for what I did. I really do. But there is one thing you don’t understand. Ax-” I bit my lip to stop from saying his name. “Your so-called best friend preyed on me. He knew what he was doing. He waited until you were out of town to come over and drink with me. He had been checking me out since the first day we met, and, as soon as you went out of town, he came over uninvited and started hitting on me. And even when I said stop he wanted to keep going. I wouldn’t call that a friend. He got me drunk and took advantage of me in one of my weakest moments, Christoff.” My eyes began to water.

  “Look, Gia, I don’t know what happened that night, and I don’t care to know the details. Is Axel an asshole for what he did? Yes, of course, but his guilt does not make you innocent. You voluntarily let him into the house, you voluntarily drank with him and…well what are you saying, Gia? Are you saying that the hook up wasn’t voluntary? Are you saying he forced you?”

  I stared at Christoff without responding. Even though what happened with Axel completely changed my life for the worst, I knew that it wasn’t totally Axel’s fault.

  “No, Christoff. No, that’s not what I’m saying. He didn’t force me to do anything, but he had the advantage in the situation. He knew it, and he exploited it. That’s what I’m saying.”

  Christoff sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “That is the one double standard I absolutely cannot stand. For some reason, it’s okay when a woman regrets doing something with a man or she gets in trouble and is not adult enough to own up to her decisions. She can just turn around and make the situation seem like something it wasn’t, all to take the blame off of herself, even if it m
eans painting an innocent man as a predator. It makes me physically sick.”

  “Well, what makes me sick is when guys exploit their power and their privilege, and they don’t suffer any consequences. The finger is always pointed at the woman and what she did wrong, and the boys just circle the wagons.”

  “Gia, I don’t know why you’re making this into that type of conversation. You know if someone hurt you—anyone, my friend, a stranger, the CEO of my record label, anyone at all—I would kill them. I mean I would literally end their life, no questions asked. But that’s why it’s absolutely imperative that you tell me the truth about these things and don’t color and shade things to take the blame off of yourself. I don’t ever want to be in a situation where I misinterpret something you say and over react and get us both into trouble. So please just think before you speak.”

  “Christoff, did you hurt Axel?” I walked across the kitchen and sat next to him. “Is that why you’ve been acting so strangely? No…Christoff?” I shook my head back and forth to clear my thoughts. “What did you do?”

  Christoff looked down and covered his face with his hands. He drew a deep breath and shook his head back and forth.

  “No, I didn’t hurt Axel, although I probably should have. I went to his place and threatened him. He was pretty shaken up, but I barely touched him. My visit with Axel is not the issue, but I did end up pissing someone else off. But I swear to you Gia, the situation is nothing what it looks like. I just need to lay low for a few weeks until everything blows over.”