Wanted (Addicted Trilogy Book 3)

by S. Nelson

  Deciding to take in my surroundings, my eyes roamed all over the small space. There weren’t many people there, but that was fine with me. Two guys were playing pool in the far corner. Four women were sitting in a booth, laughing as if they didn’t have a care in the world. One guy was trying to score for the evening, running his finger up and down a woman’s arm. She looked interested.

  Lucky bastards. I miss him. I miss being wrapped in his arms. I miss the way his lips taste.

  Deciding more liquor would squelch those insane feelings, I gulped down the rest of my drink. As I placed the glass back on the bar, I caught movement to my right, near the front door.

  My eyes grazed over the man leaning against the wall. Even though I’d only looked at him for a split-second, I knew who it was immediately.

  I blinked repeatedly, praying the alcohol was causing me to hallucinate.

  But he was real.

  Just when I’d started to feel a bit of humanity pulse through my veins, it was destroyed by the mere sight of him.

  He didn’t see me at first because he was busy checking out the other patrons. . Was it a mere coincidence he was there? Was he waiting for someone else? Another woman? Was he meeting Cora? The thought alone broke my heart all over again.

  A crazy thought entered my mind, but I quickly shoved it aside. I’d totally forgotten about the tracker he installed on my cell phone after the kidnapping. There was no way he still kept tabs on me. Are you kidding? Look who you’re talking about. The thought he was there for me was ludicrous. But why, then? After months of silence, why now?

  Then a thought barreled forth, almost knocking me off my stool. That night was the first time I’d gone out since our relationship ended—other than work, of course.

  Hope filled me but quickly dispelled any such feeling. I wasn’t going to allow him to play with my emotions any longer.

  “Sara? Are you ready to go home now?” Alexa asked, barreling out from the back of the hallway. She was still upset. It was obvious the issue between her and her man hadn’t been resolved. If anything, it had only intensified. Braden was but a few paces behind her, looking none too pleased.

  Swinging my head around, I locked eyes with Alek. He’d heard Lex call my name and honed right in on me.

  I was way too fragile to have any kind of communication with him, verbal or otherwise. I broke eye contact, seized Alexa by her wrist and leaned into her ear, shaking the whole time.

  “Help me,” were the only words I spoke.

  She turned her head so she could look at me. “What’s the matter, Sara? Why are you shaking? Did someone say something to you?” Forgetting her argument with Braden, she summoned him closer to us.

  “What’s the matter? Is there anything I can do?” he asked pensively. Reaching out, he touched my shoulder, trying his best to comfort me.

  I must’ve looked like a fool, shaking for what appeared to be no reason at all. But there was a reason, and he was standing across the bar staring at me. He was also looking at Braden, boring holes right through him. Clearly he wasn’t sure if Braden was with me or Alexa. Although Alek knew of Alexa’s boyfriend, he’d never met him before.

  Every fiber of my being wished Alek was being bombarded with thoughts of me having sex with the man touching me. Sorry, Lex. I would love nothing more than for him to be racked with images of us writhing around together. I hoped he envisioned me screaming out in ecstasy as Braden made me come.

  A small smile crooked the corners of my mouth. I must have looked like a crazy person, but I didn’t care. I would grab on to anything if it meant saving me from completely shutting down.

  “Sara? Can you hear me?” Lex shouted.

  Coming back into my tortured reality, I answered her. “Yeah, sorry. I want to leave. Now!”

  I glanced back toward Alek and my best friend followed to see who I was looking at. She gasped as she leaned in closer, throwing her arm around my shoulder.

  Taking a deep breath, I straightened my spine and prepared for a confrontation. There was something about the way he was staring at me which told me there was no way I was going to walk by him without him saying something. Why did he have to be near the front door, of all places?

  “I wonder if there’s a back way out of this place,” Alexa muttered. She knew exactly why I was acting weird. She wanted to save me from having to walk past him, as well.

  “No, that’s okay. I have to face him sooner or later, I suppose.” My words sounded strong, but I was anything but. I was quaking inside, fearful I would break down in front of him and scream for him to give me an explanation.

  Braden continued to stand next to me, but he looked confused. I saw Lex mouth ex-boyfriend as we advanced toward the door.

  Alek shifted from one foot to the other the closer we got. His eyes switched from looking at me to the ground, then to the other patrons before landing back on my face. He’s nervous. The simple fact he didn’t know how to act around me either gave me some comfort.

  As I approached him, my heart hammered away inside my chest. Beads of sweat broke out along my forehead and my hands were suddenly clammy. I found it difficult to breathe, and I was praying I didn’t experience a panic attack right in front of him.

  Suddenly, I found myself standing inches away from him. Part of his body was blocking the exit and while he continued to shift from side to side, he never moved enough for me to walk out the door.

  Then he spoke.

  “Sara. How are you?” The deep timber of his voice cut straight through me. Damn him.

  I honestly didn’t know what to say to him, so I remained silent. It was safer that way.

  He didn’t utter another word, but he didn’t move, either. A look of pain cascaded over his gorgeous face. His eyes slowly roamed my body, but not so slow as to be disrespectful. No doubt he’d taken notice of my weight loss.

  Blowing out a breath of frustration, I sternly commanded, “Move.” I couldn’t even say his name aloud.

  “Sara, please, can I talk to you?” He reached out to touch me, but I moved back. His bottom lip disappeared between his teeth, a nervous habit he’d picked up toward the end of our relationship.

  “Move!” I shouted that time, hoping he would have the decency to let me pass. But still, he did nothing. Until Braden interfered.

  “You heard her. Get the fuck out of her way.”

  Glancing to the side, I witnessed the tick of Braden’s jaw as he fought the urge to tackle Alek. He loved Alexa, and since I was her best friend, he believed he had a duty to protect me, as well.

  “This doesn’t have anything to do with you, so back off!” Alek shouted, the look on his face suddenly changing. He was gearing up for battle, sizing up who he probably thought was his competition. The fact Braden wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into him certainly sealed any ideas Alek had about the man.

  Alek didn’t miss a thing, recognizing the sign of possession right away. He knew it all too well.

  I’d have to thank them both later on for letting the charade continue, although I was sure Braden thought he was doing nothing more than protecting his girlfriend’s best friend.

  “If you don’t move out of her way right now, you and I are going to have a real big problem.” Braden straightened himself to his full six- foot-three frame. He was pretty much head to head with Alek, in height, weight and presence.

  I had to dispel the situation before anything escalated.

  “It’s okay,” I assured them both, all the while continuing to look directly at Alek. “He’ll move because he doesn’t want to cause a scene and upset me. Right, Alek?” His name sounded foreign on my tongue.

  “Yeah, sure,” he asserted. A few seconds later, he moved over and allowed all of us to pass by. Braden knocked into Alek’s shoulder, sneering at him the entire time.

  Note to self: don’t get on Braden’s bad side.

  Once outside, Braden informed us he was going to bring his car around. Thank goodness we didn’t have to
wait for a cab. The faster I got out of there, the better.

  We weren’t outside for twenty seconds before Alek came sauntering out of the bar, walking toward me with an intent look on his face.

  Oh, God. I can’t do this. I can’t do this.

  Reaching for Alexa to help steady me, she looked confused until she saw what was happening. She was on him faster than I could even say anything.

  “Alek, don’t you dare,” she warned. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough damage? Do you get your kicks out of hurting my friend?” She took a step closer, the look on her face set to kill. “I suggest you leave before Braden gets back.”

  Thank the heavens above Alexa didn’t reference him as her boyfriend. She let it hang out there as if he might’ve been with me.

  “I need a minute to speak to you, Sara.” He didn’t even bother responding to Alexa. He was solely focused on me, and nothing else.

  I knew it was only a matter of minutes before we took off for home, so I cut Alexa off before she started in on him again.

  “It’s okay, Lex. We’re leaving soon anyway, so I’ll be okay.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure. Thanks.” I gave her a faint smile, but the look in my eyes told her I needed to talk to him.

  “Okay. I’m right over here if you need me.” She squeezed my shoulder before turning her gaze back on the man in front of me. “I got my eye on you, Devera, so don’t try anything funny.” She stepped back to give us some privacy.

  Standing up straight, I inhaled a big breath of air, hoping it would give me the strength I needed right then. It was hard to look directly at him, but I mustered the courage in order to have my say and be done with it. “What could you possibly have to say to me?”

  He dove right in, realizing he didn’t have much time at all. “Sara, first I want to tell you how sorry I am for hurting you. I hope you believe it was never my intention. I swear. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do.” When I opened my mouth to interject, he cut me off. “I know it’s so cliché, but it’s true. But I promise you there is a good reason for it.”

  “Yeah, what might that be? What possible reason could you have had to cut my heart out and stomp all over it?” Anger gripped my insides, threatening to explode all over him if he didn’t end our little conversation soon.

  Having the decency to know I was ready to erupt, he looked away quickly before catching my eye again. “Do you think we can go somewhere and talk? If you give me a chance, I can explain everything.” When he saw the blank look on my face, he faltered. But it didn’t last long before he was back at it. “I’m so sorry,” he said, reaching out to touch my hand. “If you just give me the chance to explain, I can make it all right.”

  Instant flashbacks bombarded me. I was in the same exact predicament with him before when he was begging for a chance to explain why I’d found a file full of pictures of me in his possession. “Boy, isn’t this déjà vu?” I chided, a disgusted look contorting my face.

  He at least had the decency to look embarrassed, knowing full well he was always asking a lot from me, putting me through the emotional wringer.

  “I know…I know. But please, I need you to trust me.”

  I’d had enough, and if I didn’t tell him exactly what I thought of him, I was going to end up taking out my anger on everyone else besides the person who deserved it.

  “Trust you?” I bellowed. “Why the fuck would I ever trust you again? You can rot in Hell for all I care. The hate I have for you helps me sleep at night.” Somewhere along the way, my hands had clenched into tight balls, my fingernails digging into the flesh of my palms in order to keep from ripping his face off. “How about you, Alek? How do you sleep at night knowing you messed up the best thing to ever happen to you?”

  I was lying. I didn’t hate him. I loved him, but I would never utter the words. I would not play the victim and let him see how much he hurt me. No, I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. I cried in front of him once when he broke my heart, on the steps of his home three months back. I wouldn’t do it again. Anger was my new best friend, and I was going to lean on it to help me through my encounter with him.

  Not knowing what else to do, he crushed the distance between us, all the while whispering, “I’m so sorry, baby.” I knew if I ever allowed him to touch me, I would be in big trouble. I talked a good game, but I was a mess on the inside. And like a predator, he knew it. For every step he took toward me, I took one back, until eventually my body was pressed against a car parked on the sidewalk.

  Great! I’m trapped.

  He placed an arm on either side of me, resting his hands on the hood of the vehicle, effectively caging me in. He was so close to me, his warm breath fanned across my heated face. I’d cried too many tears over Alek only to be undone with one of his soul-searching stares.

  “Baby,” he pleaded, his eyes offering up his sincerest apologies.

  Don’t look at him. Averting my eyes, I glanced everywhere but at the man in front of me. But there came a point when I could no longer ignore him. When my eyes locked back on his, something happened. Something I was trying to avoid but was powerless to stop. The way he looked at me washed away the past months without him. My entire world ceased to exist, ultimately leaving me defenseless against him. He was my drug, and I hadn’t realized how much I was itching for a fix until he was so daringly close to me.

  Without warning, he leaned in as if he was going to kiss me. My body was rigid, my mind warring between allowing him to consume me and slapping him across the face. Thankfully, neither of those scenarios happened. As he was effectively pinning me against the car, a thought raced through my head. Yes, I still loved him, but did I believe he still loved me? How could someone dismiss another from their life so easily if they were, in fact, in love? It’s not possible. No, he still desired me; that much was true. But love? He didn’t love me. And once the acknowledgment sank in, I found the strength I needed to push him away from me.

  Once my hands found their way to his chest, he looked like he’d been shocked. A shudder vibrated through his body as his breath caught in his throat. I found my opportunity, pushed him back a step and escaped his emotionally torturous imprisonment. “I won’t do this to myself again, Alek,” I yelled over my shoulder as I rushed toward Alexa.

  “Sara, please. I promise I’ll make it up to you. I’m sorry!” he shouted as the distance separated us from each other.

  I made sure not to make eye contact with him as we passed in the car. He was still standing on the sidewalk, but I wouldn’t allow any more vulnerability to corrupt me.

  My body ached for his touch.

  But my brain told me I did the right thing. Breaking away from him was the only way the rest of my fragile heart could heal.

  Finally.

  ~22~

  Sara

  “I don’t want to talk about it, Lex. Please…let it go. I know you’re worried about me, but it’s better if I work on forgetting.” I was trying to busy myself with folding my laundry, but she was making it near impossible, standing in my bedroom in full-on interrogation mode.

  “Sara, it’s been a week since you saw him and you haven’t said a single thing about it. I’m thankful you’re not sitting here crying over him, but it’s kind of freaking me out you don’t want to say anything at all about what happened. Don’t you need some kind of closure or something?”

  “That was my closure. It was my final goodbye to the man who both saved and destroyed me. He made me feel again after so long, but he also tore my heart out after he had his fill, tossing me aside once he had no more use for me.” My mind instantly reverted back to the night I showed up at his house and caught him with her.

  “Well, I’m here if you need me,” she offered, picking up one of my shirts, making a face and tossing it back on my bed. Good ol’ Lex. She made me laugh right then, and it was something I definitely needed.

  I walked toward my dresser to put some of my clothes away. Reaching
for her hand, I drew her close to me and gave her a big hug. “Thanks for worrying about me. Love you.”

  “Love you, too, girl.” She walked across the room and was awkwardly quiet. At first, I wasn’t paying much attention to her but when she simply stood there staring at me, it became a little weird.

  “Are you okay? Did you want to talk about something else?” I prodded before heading into my closet to hang some of my shirts.

  “Remember you love me,” she teased.

  Oh, Lord.

  “What did you do?” Before I let her answer, I spouted, “You better not have been in contact with him, or so help me, God, Alexa Bearnheart.”

  “Who are you talking about?”

  “Alek,” I gritted through clenched teeth.

  There was no hesitation on her part. “Fuck no. I learned my lesson the last time. I told you I would always take your side, no matter what. Fool me once…” she chanted.

  “Then what is it you have to tell me?”

  “Um…nothing big. Just…uh…” She stumbled over her words, which was so unlike her.

  “Spit it out, Lex.”

  And spit it out she did, all in one quick breath. “Braden is bringing a colleague of his to the restaurant opening on Saturday night.”

  “What?” It took me a minute to try and figure out why she would be so nervous, and then it dawned on me. “I hope you guys are not setting me up on a blind date.” When she averted her eyes, looking anywhere and everywhere but at my stunned face, I knew it was true. Sure, I admitted closing the Alek chapter of my life, but I was in no way ready to date anyone else. Not for a very long time to come.

  When she still didn’t speak, I made sure to crowd her personal space, forcing her to give me an answer. “Is it a blind date, Alexa?”

  “Yes.” One simple word, but one I didn’t want to hear.

  “Does this guy know it’s a blind date?”

  “Well…sort of. Hell, I don’t know. I don’t know what Braden told him exactly. But I’m sure he hinted at it, Sara.”