Someone to Love Me

by Anne Schraff

  “Bobby, why are you giving me all this money?”

  “Go to the mall and get yourself a nice costume, you know, something kinda sexy. And don’t be afraid to show your body. You look great. Brothas are gonna drool when they see you. ”

  “I can’t take this. It’s too much!”

  “Come on, Cindy. Don’t worry about the money. You’re my girl, and I want you to look good. ”

  “But it’s a lot of money, Bobby, and I’m not gonna be able to pay it back. ”

  “Girl, this ain’t no loan! It’s a gift. Just get yourself something nice and come to the party with me. That’s all the payback I need,” he insisted.

  Cindy blushed. No one had ever showed her such attention. Looking into Bobby’s intense, dark eyes, she could not refuse his request.

  “Okay,” she said, putting the money in her pocket. “I’ll find something nice to wear. ”

  After school, Cindy took a bus to the mall with Jamee. She didn’t tell her about the money from Bobby. “Mom let me have some money to buy a costume for a party tomorrow night,” Cindy lied. “I hope it’s not that Dungeon party everyone’s talkin’ about,” Jamee said.

  “What do you know about it?” Cindy asked.

  “I know that hoodlums hang out there,” Jamee replied. “Bobby took me there once last year. The place was full of people drinking, getting high, and fighting. I wanted no part of that. ”

  Cindy shuddered. She had never actually seen the Dungeon. And from Jamee’s description, she didn’t want to.

  “Why don’t you just come over to my house tomorrow night,” Jamee said, tugging on Cindy’s arm. “My sister’s friends are cool. We’ll have a good time. ”

  “Jamee, I can’t. I told Bobby I’d go with him. Besides, I’ve never done anything like this before. Maybe it’ll be fun. I promise I won’t do anything stupid,” Cindy said. “I promise. ”

  Jamee rolled her eyes but didn’t say a word.

  “Come on,” Cindy added. “Let’s find me a costume like we came here to do. ”

  The girls went into a shop that carried a large variety of Halloween costumes. Cindy found a genie costume and accessories to go with it. “Oh, this is hot!” she exclaimed.

  “I love it, Cindy,” Jamee said.

  When Cindy put the costume on, Jamee let out a howl of approval. “Damn, girl, you look good. You’re going to have to fight off guys if you wear that. ”

  “Thanks,” Cindy said. She had never worn such a revealing outfit. The genie costume came in two parts, similar to a two-piece bathing suit, but with sheer fabric covering her legs. When she put it on, her entire stomach was exposed. Though she felt self-conscious, she couldn’t help admiring how sexy she looked. While Jamee was distracted at a sales rack, Cindy quickly bought the costume. It was eighty dollars. Jamee would never have believed Cindy got that kind of money from her mother.

  It was dusk by the time the bus returned to the neighborhood. As it lumbered past Bluford High School, Cindy spotted Pedro outside talking to a group of kids.

  “Look, there’s Pedro,” Cindy said. “I can’t stand him. ”

  “He scares me,” Jamee said, shuddering. “Darcy says he’s flunking most of his classes. ”

  “You think he’s selling?” Cindy asked.

  “Somebody is. The freshmen are getting all they want,” Jamee said. “My sister says this is the worst she’s ever seen Bluford. I heard they might bring in those drug-sniffing dogs again. ”

  “I wish they didn’t have to make our school into a prison just to keep it safe,” Cindy said. “But I don’t know what else they can do. ”

  On Friday night, Cindy waited eagerly for Bobby. As soon as she spotted his red Nissan pulling up, she took one last look at herself in the snug costume and then jotted a brief note for her mother.

  Mom, I’m out with friends. Be back after midnight.

  Since Mom announced her engagement, Cindy had barely spoken to her. There’s no point talking if no one’s listening, Cindy thought as she taped the note to the refrigerator and ran out the door, pushing Raffie out of her mind.

  “Girl, you look good!” Bobby exclaimed as Cindy slipped into his car. He was dressed like a pirate with a cape, eye patch, and black hat with a skull and crossbones. “You look like you just stepped off a magazine cover!” he added.

  “Thanks,” Cindy said, delighted at his reaction. Bobby’s approval was intoxicating, and for an instant, Cindy forgot all her problems at home. For once, she was attractive and loved. She hugged Bobby warmly. “I’m glad you like the costume,” she said.

  “Cinderella, I like what’s in the costume even more! I already know my three wishes, but I’ll ask for them later,” he joked, hugging her tightly.

  “Are you sure it’s safe at the Dungeon?” Cindy asked, gently pulling away from Bobby.

  “Of course it is,” Bobby said, steering the car into the street. “You’re with me. ”

  Cindy wanted his words to reassure her, but as she left her neighborhood, she grew more nervous.

  Bobby pulled the car into a crowded parking lot and looked over at Cindy. “I can’t wait to show you off,” he said with a grin.

  Cindy took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. “I heard this place can get kinda wild,” she said, hoping he would change his mind about going in.

  “Relax, Cinderella. This is the Halloween jam. It’s just a big party, that’s all. Lots of people from Bluford and Lincoln will be there. No one will mess with you as long as I’m around. Let’s go. ” Bobby got out of the car quickly and opened the door for Cindy. Reluctantly, she stepped out into the cool night.

  In the parking lot, Cindy felt deep hip-hop bass pulsing through the air. As they neared the Dungeon, Bobby spotted a familiar vehicle parked across the street. “That’s Cooper Hodden’s pickup. What is that fool doin’ here?” he asked.

  “I don’t know,” Cindy replied, remembering that Cooper was supposed to be at Jamee’s party. Just then, Cindy heard a voice calling her name.

  “Cindy! Come here. ”

  Cindy turned to see Jamee and Darcy standing amidst a crowd walking towards the club. Cooper Hodden and a heavy-set girl stood behind the two sisters.

  “Jamee, what’re you doin’ here?” Cindy asked. “I thought you were having a party. ”

  “Cindy, we’re here for you. Don’t go in there. Just come with us,” Jamee said.

  “Girl, what’s your problem?” Bobby growled. “Are you jealous of me and Cinderella?”

  “I’m not jealous, Bobby. I just don’t want my friend getting into trouble!” Jamee yelled back.

  “Come on, girl,” Cooper added. “Jamee’s right. This place is bad news. ”

  “Step off, Coop!” Bobby said. “This ain’t got nothin’ to do with you. ”

  “Cindy, just come with us,” Jamee insisted.

  Cindy hesitated. She was embarrassed at the scene she was causing and unsure what to do. Jamee was serious. The determined look on her face told Cindy that she really meant what she said. Jamee cared so much that she even brought her sister and friends to help her. But then there was Bobby.

  “Come on, Cindy,” he said tugging at her arm. “We don’t need to listen to this. ” Reluctantly Cindy stepped forward, looking back at the group of people who came for her. Part of her wanted to walk away from Bobby, but another part was willing to follow him almost anywhere.

  “Sorry, guys,” she said, turning towards the dark wooden doors.

  Inside the Dungeon, they entered a strange world of flashing strobe lights, swirling smoke clouds, and throbbing music. Amidst the dense crowd, Cindy saw dozens of people dressed as goblins, movie villains, celebrities, and monsters. She felt a mixture of awe and terror in the dark and unfamiliar room. She was suddenly aware of strangers looking at her body, and she felt overly exposed in her scant genie costume.

  “Bobby, how long are we staying here?” Cindy asked, crossing her arms on her chest.

  “Relax, Cinderella,” he re
plied. “The party’s just getting started. ”

  Chapter 10

  Marijuana smoke hung heavy and thick in the stuffy air of the Dungeon. Cindy saw several unmasked Bluford students circling around the crowded dance floor. In the distance, she noticed a corridor which appeared to lead to another large room lined with tables.

  “I just wanna let some people know I’m here. I’ll be right back,” Bobby said, heading towards the hallway. Before Cindy could protest, he darted into the crowd.

  Alone and uncomfortable, Cindy leaned against a wall on the edge of the dance floor. She wished she and Bobby could just leave, that they could watch movies with Jamee and Darcy.

  At a nearby table, she saw Dillon Baker from her English class. His glassy blue eyes bulged unnaturally from his otherwise expressionless face. He did not seem to notice her, or anything else for that matter. Suddenly, she felt a tap her shoulder.

  “If you want anything, girl, I’ll get it for you,” a voice said. She turned and faced a guy wearing a wolf mask. As he spoke, she noticed his eyes moving up and down her body.

  “No thanks,” she said, crossing her arms on her chest. She felt naked and embarrassed in his gaze. “I’m here with someone,” she added, hoping he would find someone else to stare at.

  “I don’t see anyone with you—”

  “Man, get away from my girl,” Bobby said, coming up behind the stranger.

  “It’s cool, it’s cool,” the guy repeated, backing into the crowd.

  Bobby smiled. “You see how good you look, Cinderella? Guys are checkin’ you out. ”

  Cindy hugged Bobby gratefully. She was glad he arrived when he did, but she still wanted to leave. Looking over at Dillon Baker, Cindy felt sick. In Mr. Mitchell’s class, Dillon was a nice guy and a good student. Now, he was spaced out. As she watched, a couple of his friends sat down next to him. He looked as though he barely recognized them. Cindy turned to Bobby, “I wish we could just go somewhere else, Bobby. This place bothers me. ”

  “Just ’cause some fool hit on you?” Bobby asked with an edge to his voice. “That kid’s got nothin’ to do with us, Cinderella. Don’t let it ruin the party. Come on, let’s dance. ”

  “Bobby, everybody here is high,” Cindy said, “I just wish—”

  “Girl, I want to show you off!” he demanded. His eyes narrowed as he talked. “I want the homies to see my girl. ”

  “But—”

  “Girl, drop it!” he yelled, his nostrils flaring. “Man, if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a girl who steps out with me and takes my money but then tries to stop me when I wanna do something. It’s all cool when they’re getting bracelets and clothes, but ask a favor and they start giving static. ” As Bobby spoke, his grip on Cindy’s hand grew even tighter.

  “Bobby, you’re hurting me,” Cindy said.

  “Don’t push me, girl. It’s gonna be your fault if you get me mad and I do something stupid,” Bobby warned. Then he dropped her hand as if it were an object that disgusted him and shouldered past her, knocking her into the corner of a nearby booth. Pain shot into her leg.

  “You stay right here. I gotta use the bathroom. Don’t move, hear?” Bobby said.

  Cindy nodded. As he disappeared in the crowd, she looked at the door. She wished she could just go home, but she knew better than to walk home alone at night in her revealing costume. Maybe she could catch a bus, she thought.

  Carefully, Cindy inched towards the door. She was stopped by another kid she did not know who tried to make her dance with him. His face was wrapped in bandages like a mummy. “C’mon girl, I know you know how to move,” he said, grinding into her. By the time she got past him, Bobby returned. She was afraid to tell him she was trying to leave.

  “I told you to wait right here,” Bobby yelled. “What—are you stupid or something?”

  Angered and hurt by his words, Cindy turned towards Bobby and noticed he looked different. He was sweating profusely, and his eyes were wide and glassy, like Dillon’s. Cindy had seen the same look on Bobby’s face the day he bruised her wrist at Bluford. Illuminated in the flashing light, he looked like a monstrous version of himself, like the figures in her drawings.

  “I don’t feel good . . . I need to go home,” Cindy stammered, afraid to provoke him.

  “Why are you messin’ with me?” Bobby screamed, grabbing her shoulders. Strobe lights flashed over his head like lightning from an approaching storm.

  Watching in wide-eyed terror, Cindy was flooded with an awful realization— drugs. Bobby must be using drugs. He had probably just used them in the bathroom. That explained his strange appearance and his violent mood swings. The power of that realization set off a chain reaction in Cindy’s mind.

  Bobby had been lying. He’d been lying to her since the moment they first went out together, she realized. But worse, Cindy understood, was an even bigger lie—the one she had told herself. Jamee, Mrs. Davis, and Harold had been right all along. Bobby was trouble, and she had refused to listen.

  “Bobby,” Cindy yelled, staring into his twitching eyes, “let me go!” Bobby shifted his hands to her neck, and his grip began to tighten around her throat. “You just never listen,” he growled.

  “Bobby . . . ,” she gasped, unable to breathe.

  Suddenly, Cindy heard a familiar voice.

  “Get off her!”

  Cindy glanced back to see Jamee rushing up next to her. In a blur, Jamee shoved Bobby, causing him to lose his grip on Cindy’s neck. Just as quickly, Darcy, Cooper, and Tarah were next to her.

  “You all right?” Darcy asked, putting her arm around Cindy.

  “I’m okay,” Cindy said, rubbing her neck. “I just wanna go home. ”

  “That’s why we came back,” Jamee said. “There was no way we were gonna leave you here with him. I don’t care what he says. ”

  Cindy turned towards Bobby. He shook his head and clumsily approached Jamee. “I told you to stay out of this,” Bobby said in a low, angry rasp. “Cindy’s stayin’ right here with me. ” His voice became hoarser with each word.

  “No, Bobby. I’m going home now,” Cindy yelled, wondering what Bobby had taken in the bathroom. Maybe it was that new drug Raffie was pushing. Whatever it was, it was seriously affecting Bobby. He was unsteady, and his speech was slurred.

  “Yeah, back off, Wallace,” Cooper warned, stepping in between Jamee and Bobby. “You ain’t gonna hit any girls tonight. ” But as Cooper spoke, his expression changed from anger to concern. “Hey, homey, you lookin’ bad—”

  As they watched, Bobby grabbed for a chair and then collapsed. The saliva that had been running from his mouth turned to vomit. Somebody screamed, and a number of people panicked.

  “I’m calling 911!” Darcy said, rushing to find a phone. Frightened kids began scrambling out the large front doors. Someone flicked on a light switch and the entire room brightened.

  By the time the paramedics arrived, most of the kids had left the Dungeon. Cindy sat with Jamee, Darcy, Cooper, and Tarah, watching the medics put Bobby on a stretcher. He was unconscious, and Cindy could see the whites of his eyes peeking beneath his eyelids. Cindy gazed in shock at his body and the flashing red lights of the ambulance.

  “What happened here?” a paramedic asked.

  “A Halloween party gone bad, real bad,” Darcy replied.

  The emergency technician shook his head and slammed the doors, and within seconds, the ambulance pulled away. As it disappeared in the distance, Cindy began to cry softly, turning the bracelet Bobby had given her around and around with trembling fingers.

  “Take it easy, Cindy,” Jamee said, wiping the tears from her eyes. “It’ll be all right. ”

  “Cindy, why don’t Jamee and I get you home. You’ve had a long night,” Darcy suggested.

  “But what’s going to happen to Bobby?” Cindy asked.

  “Me and Tarah will go to the hospital and check on him,” Cooper chimed in. “We’ll call you when we learn something. ”

&nb
sp; “Okay,” Cindy said.

  As they drove home, Jamee gave Cindy her jacket and sat in the back seat with her.

  “Thanks for helping me tonight. I’m so sorry I put you through this,” Cindy said.

  “Cindy, we’re your friends,” Jamee said. “This is what friends do for each other. Just remember what you did for me last year. ”

  “I can’t believe this happened,” Cindy said, wiping her eyes. “All this time, I thought Bobby had changed. And I know this sounds stupid, but he really made me feel special. Nobody ever made me feel that way before. ”

  “It doesn’t sound stupid, Cindy,” Darcy said. “But you’ve got to learn that you are special, whether you’re with a guy or not. When you need someone else to make you feel good about yourself, you’re going to get into trouble. It may sound like something off a corny TV show, but it’s true. What you’re looking for doesn’t come from others; it comes from inside you. ”

  Cindy wiped her eyes in silence.

  At Cindy’s apartment, all three girls got out of the car together. “Thanks again,” Cindy said. “You two are the best. ”

  Jamee and Darcy gave Cindy a hug, holding her for several minutes before letting her go. When they finally got ready to leave, all three girls had red, moist eyes.

  As soon as they left, Cindy quietly snuck into the apartment, grabbed the cordless phone, and went to her room. Her mother’s bedroom door was closed, and Cindy was careful not to disturb her. Silently, she took off her costume, put on pajamas, and crawled into bed, replaying the evening’s events in her mind. She could not shake the image of Bobby’s unconscious body from her thoughts. It haunted her like a recurring nightmare.

  At 5:00 in the morning, the phone rang. Cindy answered it with trembling hands.

  “Cindy,” Jamee said, “we just heard from Cooper. He’s still at the hospital with the Wallace family. He said things looked bad for a while but that Bobby’s going to be all right. His family’s going to put him in a drug rehab program. ”