A Flash of Water

by Chan Ling Yap

  Shao Peng sat down. Her forehead was knitted together with worry lines. Time ticked by. Where was Jack? She asked herself again. She half rose and then fell back into the chair. Should she go in search of him? For once she regretted not taking her brother’s advice to have more help in the house. She had wanted Jack to herself. She did not wish to have other people in the house. She reasoned that it was only a modest dwelling and could not accommodate them. Now she felt so alone. The quiet was disconcerting.

  She got up and went to the window. Outside a warm breeze was blowing. It was dark and the moonlight cast an eerie glow in the garden.

  Was this the end of their marriage? It could not be. She argued with herself. Surely their love could withstand this? Doubts crept in. With each minute that passed, she grew more troubled; each worry multiplied tenfold. “I shouldn’t have said all that I said. I should have had more trust.” She paced up and down the room.

  Time dragged slowly by. Her eyes grew heavy. She moved in and out of fitful sleep in the armchair. Then with a jolt she woke up.

  The front door opened. Jack stood at the doorway. His eyes were full of pain. She ran to him and threw herself into his arms. “I am sorry for doubting you. Will you forgive me?”

  He kissed her, silencing her with his lips. “Come with me,” he said dragging her into the bedroom.

  ***

  Much later, in the early hours of the morning before the first ray of sunshine poured into the bedroom, they lay together, bodies entwined, her head on his chest. Shao Peng opened one eye and looked at her husband. He sensed her looking and moved to kiss her, his lips brushing hers gently and then more urgently. “I love you,” he whispered, running his tongue lightly around the pink coral rim of her earlobes.

  She sighed, “I love you too.”

  He shifted and brought her up so that she lay on top of him. She snuggled into his chest. She inhaled the morning smell of him. “I have you all to myself,” she said. “We have the whole day with no one around.”

  “Ahhh,” he teased, except that Aishah is always around. Don’t forget.”

  “I dismissed her.” She felt his body stiffen. He moved slightly, tipping her to the side of him.

  “I see.” He turned away.

  She could feel his displeasure, the sudden coldness that settled like a wedge of ice between them.

  “You have wronged an innocent girl.”

  Chapter 22

  A MONTH WENT BY. Li Ling went to the riverbank each afternoon. She sat there, she waited, and she fretted. Da Wei did not appear. The days passed very slowly for her. She became even more restless. On the fifth weekend, she was asked to go to the market to buy groceries for the school kitchen. Lai Ma, who did most of the shopping and normally would not have involved Li Ling, was taken ill. Armed with two large cane baskets, Li Ling went out through the back door, into the kitchen garden and then out onto the path that linked the school with the open market. The market, which had initially consisted of a few vendors, had grown and grown in response to the ever-increasing settlement of houses surrounding the brick factories.

  She walked briskly, clutching two empty cane baskets. With each step away from the convent, her mood lightened. The sun was shining and the dew on the grass was drying rapidly. She inhaled deeply the fresh smell of green. Further on a couple of skinny brown cows grazed idly by the wayside. Their tails swished one way and then the other while they munched through the short tufts of wild grass. Flies hovered around their haunches and around the pats of dung that littered the grass. Li Ling looked on, fascinated. The cows were new to the area. They came with the arrival of people from India. She had been warned to be careful of them for the small newly growing Indian community viewed them as sacred animals. The cows were there to provide milk, not meat, for the people.

  Gingerly, Li Ling stepped around the animals to avoid the pats of fly infested dung on the ground. She held her breath. The smell emitted from the fast drying dung was strong and she was not used to it. She wondered about the milk and its taste. She did not remember anyone drinking cows’ milk in China. She did not expect it to taste good. If it did, her parents would surely have had cows in their farmyard. In her parents’ farm in Canton, they had pigs, chickens and ducks, not cows.

  An Indian man came out of a hut with a pail in hand. He stopped by a cow and squatted down to milk it; his body almost bent over as he ducked his head to look under the animal He squeezed the udders; over and over his fingers pressed and pulled, first with his left hand and then his right. Streams of milky white frothed into the pail.

  The distraction afforded by being out in the open, however, soon wore off. Li Ling found herself was once more plunged into the depth of despair. Her spirit had been oscillating between extremes for weeks. Sometimes she was able to convince herself that all would be well. Da Wei was bound to return. More often than not, however, she was miserable as she tussled with what she should do. She quickened her steps. She could not afford to dawdle. Just thinking of the task she had set herself made her breathe much harder. Ahead of her, she could see smoke from the brick kilns. She headed towards the cluster of Chinese shop houses to the east of the brick kilns. Da Wei’s shop must be there. Someone there might know his whereabouts.

  She passed the open market with its makeshift stalls. Baskets of food lay scattered on the ground. She decided that she would buy her groceries on the way back. The more urgent task was to locate Da Wei. She had no idea of what she would say to him. Even more worrying was how he would receive her. Would he be angry? Would he feign ignorance of her? What should she say to him?

  The first shop in the row of five was an eatery. She peered into its dimly lit interior. The building was long and there were no windows and was lit only by the light filtered through the wide doorway in front. It was crowded with people having their breakfast. He was not there. She walked quickly to the next shop. It was a herbal store. Jars upon jars of carefully labelled dried herbs and roots stood in neat rows. Occasional jars of what looked suspiciously like cockroaches stood in between. Behind them were clusters of wooden drawers housing more herbal remedies. A man stood with an abacus close at hand, weighing the delicate herbs. Their strong smell, acrid and compelling, assailed her. She had to get a concoction for Lai Ma. That could also wait, she decided. She headed to the next shop. It was a general store. This must be it! she thought. She remembered the gifts he presented her. She stood in front of the shop’s entrance and looked in.

  A few people were examining the display of goods. At the far end, bolts of cloth were placed next to racks of shoes. Opposite, sacks of rice, dried fish, beans, fungus, mushrooms and shrimps were lined up against a wall. A man was behind the till. Li Ling went up to him and asked if he knew Da Wei.

  “Who wants him?”

  Li Ling turned. An elderly man with a black cloth cap on his head was behind her. His eyes, hard and appraising, raked over her.

  “I came to ask if he is all right. I ... I haven’t seen him for a while,” she stuttered.

  “Who are you?”

  “I ... I am Li Ling. I have to go now.” Li Ling turned to leave. Lee Ah Hong’s hand shot out and grasped her arm.

  “I am his father. What do you want with him?”

  “Nothing ... nothing.”

  “Nothing?” He examined her again from top to toe. He noted her clothes; they were not those of a maid. Yet, she was definitely not from a wealthy family. No woman from a good family would be carrying baskets and walking out on her own. She was young. He knew his son’s penchant for young females. His wife thought he did not know but he did. That was why he proposed that Da Wei be married off to an older woman to get some sense in him. Perhaps it could stop Da Wei’s wild urges if he had a woman to himself.

  “I have to go ... please.” Li Ling pulled away.

  He released her arm. Li Ling ran out of the shop. She pushed her way through a small group of men leaving the eatery. They shouted at her. Their curses and coarse comments rang in her e
ars.

  Hong followed her out and stood at the doorway. He looked on as she ran back the way she came. A pretty girl, he thought. She must be one of the many that Da Wei had kept secret from his family. She was brave to come in search of him. Ah Hong sighed. He was not going to probe too hard unless he had to. It could open up more problems.

  ***

  Li Ling ran all the way back to the riverbank. Dropping the empty baskets, she clambered up the rock. Her breathing came hard and fast. Should she have said something, she asked herself. Had she missed the opportunity to tell someone about Da Wei, someone that could help her? She felt sick with anxiety. She was no nearer to finding out where Da Wei was and what happened to him.

  I saw you!

  Da Wei appeared out of nowhere, taking her by surprise. He grasped a hand full of her hair and yanked, jerking her head back. Then he looped her hair round her neck and tightened. Li Ling screamed in pain.

  “I asked you. What were you doing in my father’s shop? What did you say to him?”

  “Nothing. I ... I said I was looking for you.”

  He looked at her for a long while trying to determine if she was telling the truth. Then he laughed. He didn’t believe that Li Ling would have the guts to tell on him. He pushed his face close to hers and stuck out his tongue and licked her face. Can’t get enough of me? This is what you want?”

  He pushed her to the ground and dragged her into the bush. She kicked and struggled. “Stop! Stop!” she shouted.

  He silenced her with a slap, muffling her cries with his hand. She brought one knee up and with all her strength kicked his groin. He doubled up and groaned. Surprised by her own action, Li Ling lay for a moment watching him groan and then she sat up. She waited until he recovered. Then calmly, before he could make another move, she shrugged off her clothes and walked deeper into the undergrowth of wild grass. She lay down and parted her legs, her eyes on him all the while as he made his way to her. Da Wei narrowed his eyes and looked at her body sprawled naked beneath him. He smiled.

  Chapter 23

  THE DISCORD BETWEEN Jack and Shao Peng hung heavily over their relationship. Outwardly nothing changed. Yet Shao Peng felt that something was amiss. She believed that Jack’s smile did not come from his heart. It did not touch his eyes. They no longer lit up when he saw her. She became cautious with what she said. She thought about each word over and over again in her mind before she spoke them. Their conversations became stilted. When Jack took her in his arms, she felt as though he did it mechanically, a duty rather than an expression of longing. The more she put such a complexion on his behaviour, the more she thought that it was true. She tried to come home early. She gave excuses to her brother and stepmother. Jack, however, came home later and later. His work in the outlying villages became increasingly frequent. She did not know if these were genuine calls of duty or a means to avoid her. She could not bring herself to ask.

  On one of Jack’s travels, Shao Peng went home to her brother’s. “Jack is away again?” Siew Loong’s pronouncement was more a statement than a question. “You should not be at home on your own. Take one of the maids with you. Take two, in fact. Mother, I am sure, would be able to spare them.”

  He leaned closer to Shao Peng. “This might slow mother down a bit. She is going through my wedding arrangements like there is no tomorrow,” he lamented ruefully. “You know I am not looking forward to it. “

  “Suet Ping is a sweet girl.”

  “Ha! She is not of my choosing.” I am going through with this for the sake of mother. She is fixed on the idea and is attached to the girl. Mother said that she would return to her kampong to live a life of solitude if I refused the marriage. What would people think if I allowed that to happen?”

  He threw a sideway glance at her. “You were brave. You fought against your arranged marriage. I am not. I can’t stand the squabbling. I don’t want to let mother down. She is fragile, what with father’s death and the discovery of his other women.”

  “I understand how you feel. We are bound by custom to accept arranged marriages and we fight against it. However, love marriages do not come unencumbered.”

  “Are you having problems with yours?”

  “Not really. It is just a little misunderstanding. It will sort itself out.”

  “Then why...”

  “Everything is fine. Let’s change the subject. What did you decide to do with the women, particularly Swee Yoke and the child she claimed is father’s?”

  “I made a settlement and they have signed an undertaking to relinquish all future demands.”

  “You think the boy is really father’s?”

  “Who knows? Both mother and I are unwilling to allow this to become public knowledge and they were only too happy to take the money. It will be a good clean break. I do not wish it to hang over us. I hope to go into partnership with a British firm to grow rubber. Any gossip would undermine this ambition. I certainly do not want a half-brother challenging my inheritance.”

  “How are you going to get workers for the plantations?”

  “From India, the same way as our British masters. They recruit labour from that subcontinent for their sugar and coffee plantations here. I will have to raise money and send a broker to India to recruit the workers directly. There will be a huge outlay initially. Advances will have to be made to bring them over and accommodation built to house them. It will not be straightforward. We would have to work through three parties, the India Office, the Colonial office in London and the Government offices in the Straits Settlements. So that is why I thought a partnership with a British firm would be a good idea. It might help reduce the red tape. Does Jack have any connections in this area?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t know.” Jack, she thought, would probably not divulge anything to her. He didn’t trust her any more. She got up. “I have to leave.” Impulsively, she reached out and hugged her brother.

  “Take a maid with you. Anyone. You have my permission. Try to make your life slightly easier,” he said ruffling her hair.

  ***

  She went home with Ah Kew. The house was ablaze with light when the pony cart turned into the driveway. The front door was thrown wide open. Her first thought was that something was wrong. She rushed up the flight of steps and ran into the house. There was no one in the front room but voices came from the sleeping quarters. She followed their sound.

  A man emerged from her bedroom. His face was grave when he saw her. He put out his hand and steered her aside. “Mrs Webster? I am Doctor Rodwell. Before you go in, “ he said, “I have to prepare you. Your husband is ill. It is malaria. He is being well looked after now and is resting.”

  Shao Peng paled. She made to push past him. He stopped her. “Calm down. You will make him more anxious if you are anxious. Look at your heartbeat,” he said with his finger on the pulse of her wrist. “He is, as I said, being attended to. Your maid is bathing his forehead now to bring his temperature down.”

  “Maid? What maid?” she asked trying once more to push pass him.

  “Mrs Webster, the best thing you can do for him is to keep calm and cheerful.” He steered her firmly to a chair. “Take several deep breaths before you go in. I am going to get my boy to fetch a prescription from my house. I left in a hurry when your maid came to me.”

  Shao Peng stood up. Her legs were wobbly. She walked into the room. Her heart fell. It was as she had guessed. Aishah was with Jack. She was bathing his forehead and didn’t bother to look up when Shao Peng came into the room. She ignored Shao Peng and continued her administration. She acted as though she owned the room and Shao Peng was the intruder.

  Shao Peng went to the bed. “Thank you. I can manage. You can leave now.” She said it quietly, not wishing to create a scene. There were so many questions that she wanted to hurl at Aishah. She couldn’t without losing her own dignity, without upsetting Jack. She struggled to contain her jealousy and suspicion. She did not want to make the same mistake again. Jack was her main
priority.

  Aishah did not reply nor did she budge from her position next to the bed. A groan escaped Jack’s lips. Shao Peng wanted to get nearer to her husband. She could not, short of pushing Aishah away. She looked up and caught Ah Kew’s eyes. She had followed Shao Peng into the room and watched the interactions between the two women. She guessed. The grapevine in the servants’ quarters had been teeming with gossip about the young mistress’s situation. Help me, Shao Peng’s eyes pleaded. Ah Kew nodded. She came forward and grabbed hold of Aishah’s arms and dragged her away. “Pergif” Ah Kew hissed. “Leave, or I shall tell the headman in your village.”

  The women tussled. Jack groaned again, his eyelids, pale and blue veined, fluttered; he tried to open his eyes. Sweat dripped from his forehead. His shirt was wet. He tried to rise from the bed. Shao Peng threw her arms around him and placed her lips on his. They burnt like hot coals. Stripping him of his wet garments, she dried and dressed him. She was shocked by his thinness. How could he have lost so much weight in such a short time? She ignored the struggle between Ah Kew and Aishah. Little shrieks of anger were interspersed with strings of curses. Ah Kew was the stronger and was not averse to using force to push Aishah out of the room. Once they were out of the room Shao Peng bolted the door from inside. She had no time to speculate on how Aishah knew Jack was ill and how she came into the house. Brushing these questions aside, she rushed back to the stand beside the bed. On it stood the basin of water Aishah had used. She emptied it and poured fresh cool water into it. She wrung out a flannel and kept it on Jack’s forehead, changing it at intervals. Throughout the night, she remained by his side murmuring reassurances. “Please, please,” she prayed, her hands clasping his fevered ones, “let him come through this. Forgive me,” she whispered in Jack’s ears. Over and over she told him she loved him.