Shadow Light (Beautiful Beings #3)

by Kailin Gow

  Still silent, I pulled three cups from the cupboard and drop a tea bag in each.

  “When you were young we argued that you were too young. As you got older it just felt wrong. We were doing so well together. Our family unit was strong and… I guess we were ultimately afraid of what you’d think, how you’d react.”

  “I can’t hide the fact that it was a shock to hear that John was my biological father. Actually I was kind of upset at first and I didn’t understand why neither of you had ever told me, but….”

  As the water heated up, she crossed her arms and turned to me. “This is a scene we’ve always dreaded. I guess somewhere in the back of our minds was the possibility that John could just show up and show interest in you. As you got older, became an adult, we constantly anticipated his arrival.”

  “I guess you never thought I’d go out and bump into him.”

  “No, that we did not consider.”

  “Look, I’m not angry, Mom. Really I’m not. Whatever anger I might have felt at first learning about John has passed. I accept it. Please believe that and don’t let yourself get upset. I’ve been told so many times that I have the greatest parents. Everyone envies me and I know I couldn’t have asked for better parents.”

  The water announced its shrill arrival to the boiling point and Mom poured water into each of the three cups.

  “Are you going to join us?”

  I hesitated. This was a family reunion that still left me a little uncomfortable. Then again, I felt I had so much to learn, whether it is about John my father or John the demon slayer and gatekeeper. “I guess sitting with you guys for a little while can’t hurt.”

  We joined the men who immediately stopped talking the moment we arrived.

  “Do we have that big an effect on you guys?” Mom said with a dry chuckle.

  “Actually we were talking about Ida.” John reached for his cup of tea and sat back in the large white wicker chair usually reserved for my mother.

  “Oh,” Mom said with a quirky tilt of her head.

  “You know, the moment I saw Lux, I knew who she was.” He turned to look at me. “You guys did a great job with her. I’m just sorry Ida wasn’t able to come with us; wasn’t able to see her for herself.”

  “Well, maybe some other time.”

  Though Mom was being as diplomatic and polite as she could, it was clear she felt threatened by this Ida person.

  “Ida has always been one of the most fearless demons slayers I’d ever known. She went into battles few men dared to. She faced ferocious demons that would have made many cry for their mommy.”

  Mom sat beside Dad while I took a seat beside the large potted plant in the opposite corner. There was something strange about talking shop talk in front of my parents. Though they knew about my demon slaying abilities, it was still something I rarely talked about. If anything, the older I got, the more I kept my battles and fights to myself. Part of me didn’t want to burden them with the troubles and the fear I sometimes lived with. Part of me just wanted to keep that part of my life private.

  “I would have thought Ida would give up her demon slaying duties when Lux was born.”

  “It’s not like a position in a national corporation that you can just resign and get a nifty little pension,” John said with much sarcasm. “Demon slaying is…”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Mom said with an irritated wave of her hand. “I know, it’s a higher calling. Spare me the rhetoric.”

  “Honey, what’s gotten into you?” Dad asked.

  “It’s okay,” John said. “I can understand her frustration. Her maternal instincts have just kicked in and she’s feeling possessive about Lux.”

  “My maternal instincts didn’t just ‘kick in,’” she snapped. “They kicked in the moment you put Lux in my arms, and they’ve never wavered.”

  I’d never seen her so upset and it broke my heart to see her so troubled.

  “Of course not. I apologize for my gauche manner with words. I guess what I really wanted to point out was your momma bear instincts.”

  The damage was done. Mom sat back and glared at John over her tea cup.

  “As I was saying, Ida has always been a brave fighter, but she finally met her match a few months ago.”

  “I’m so sorry to hear that, John,” Dad said. “What happened? Is she all right?”

  “She was lucky to survive and many wondered how she managed. The blood loss was great and the first to find her assumed she was dead. A hearty soul found a pulse and had her brought to a hospital. She has been in a coma for months now. She barely responds to our voices or any stimuli.”

  “Perhaps it’s a blessing in disguise,” Mom offered, her tone now softened.

  John looked at her with a frown. “How do you figure?”

  “You say she was fearless and confronted any demon, no matter how ferocious or big. Well, perhaps a larger battle lay ahead; one that would really have finished her off.”

  “I’ll be sure to transmit to her your positive outlook on the situation.” John smirked. “Yes, at least she’s alive.”

  Tension filled the room. Mom looked deep into her tea cup while Dad inspected the tiny cactus growing beside him. I gazed from one troubled adult to the other.

  “What are the chances something like that ends up happening to Lux?” Mom finally asked. Tears glistened in her eyes.

  While I’d thought the tension had grown from my relationship to John, I now saw it really had nothing to do with that. Mom was worried about me and by the look of concern in my dad’s eyes, so was he.

  “I’m not that fearless, Mom, so don’t worry,” I said, though somewhere deep inside I knew it wasn’t completely true. I thought of the many battles I’d fought, battles I should have backed down from; demons I should have backed away from. Perhaps meeting the fate Ida had met was just a matter of time, but I wasn’t about to let Mom have another worry on her mind. “I’ve never fought a demon I wasn’t sure I could slay. And now even more than ever. I have Brax, Moore and Asher on my side. If I’m ever faced with a demon I can’t handle, I have them to turn to.”

  “I’m sorry, dear,” Mom said. “I didn’t mean to make it sound like I didn’t trust you. I know you're a smart girl and you have excellent judgment.”

  I got up. “I don’t mean to cut this short, but I have some serious jetlag and I just want to get to bed.” I kissed Mom dutifully on the forehead and winked at Dad. “I’ll see you later, John.”

  Sighing as I walked out and headed to the stairs, I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders, and the fatigue that accompanied it. On top of everything I had to deal with, I now had the concern of my parents to consider… more than ever.

  I’d barely closed the door to my room when I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. They were too heavy to be my mother’s and too quick to be my Dad’s.

  “John,” I said as I opened the door and let him in. “What can I do for you?”

  “I know you want to get some sleep, but I just wanted a chance to tell you that I’m there for you. You mentioned how Brax, Moore and Asher are on your team. I’d like to think I’m part of that team as well.”

  “I guess that could work.”

  “There’s also something else I’d like you to consider. I heard you mention you intermittent troubles with your vision. You see demons well, then you don’t see them at all. You're losing your senses.”

  “Yes, it’s been happening on and off for a few days now.”

  “I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but this might indicate a need to put some distance between you and those boys.”

  “Those boys? What are you talking about?” I could feel the anger rising to my face.

  “Moore and Brax.”

  “Why? Because you don’t like them, because they’re cursed?”

  “Yes, Lux. Don’t you see? Your inability to see demons is due to the time you're spending with Brax and Moore.”

  “I don’t see what one has to do with the other. Are
you just trying to find a way to make me stop seeing them?”

  He shook his head. “You're becoming accustomed so the presence of demons and it’s causing you to lose the ability to sense them. Think about what happens when you walk into a room where cookies are being made. The smell instantly assails your nostrils and you can immediately detect the scent. But if you remain in that room for an extended amount of time, the scent seems to diminish and you don’t notice the smell of cookies. So much so that when someone else enters the room and notes on the smell of cookies, you still don’t smell it.”

  I looked at him, wanting to criticize his theory, but it made too much sense, and I hated him for it. “I’d never really thought of it that way.”

  “I can imagine it was the last thing you wanted to hear, but it’s important you take this seriously. Without your ability to sense incoming demons…”

  “Yes, I know. I’ll be in greater danger. Then again, without Brax and Moore at my side, I can find myself in great danger as well. Are you telling me I’m doomed, John. Is there no way I can win this?”

  “No, it just means it’s not going to be easy.” John looked down and up. “Your mother, Ida, she’s a Shadow Light slayer, and she was the one to get all of us slayers together. You look so much like her when she was your age. Well…she went through something similar to what you’re going through at your age.”

  I swallowed. Ida had brought John, Gordon, Marcus, and Kingsley together like I had brought Brax, Asher, and Moore together. Did she have feelings for them all too, like I did with my slayers? At that moment, I felt an intense wave of compassion and sympathy go through me for the woman who gave birth to me and was now lying in a coma somewhere in a hospital in Italy. Was I to follow in her footsteps? Were my slayers to follow in the Shadow Light slayers’ footsteps too?

  Chapter 15

  Love or Soul

  That night was long and sleepless. The few moments of sleep I managed were filled with dreams of John and Ida. In one dream, I’d come home from school, a normal school little girls go to and are normal. Ida was home, baking as she waited for me. She was happy to see me and greeted me with a big hug and a wet kiss on my brow.

  When I pulled out the homework I had to do, she sat right there with me, going over multiplication tables. She was patient and kind, not to mention a good teacher. I felt happy and safe and never wanted to leave.

  Waking up from each of these fleeting dreams, however, I felt guilty and ashamed. I knew I’d had the greatest parents and couldn’t believe I could even dream of a better life with Ida.

  At four o’clock, I could stand it no longer and got out of bed. Looking around my room the guilty and shame I’d felt was amplified. Though our home was modest in comparison to Brax and Moore’s, it was a warm and loving home, and a girl could hardly ask for a cooler room. I had a view that skimmed over a few of the neighbors’ roofs and a bathroom all my own.

  It was far too early to get ready for school, so I went into my private bathroom to take a leisurely bath, something I rarely did. Filling the tub I added a few drops of scented oil, knowing the gentle fragrance would awaken me and help my mood.

  Something was wrong and I felt it in my bones. I couldn’t shake it off, even as I lit a few candles and set them around the tub, even as I tried to breathe in and relax, my muscles remained tense and tight. I shrugged my robe off my shoulders and dipped my toes into the steaming water.

  Just the perfect temperature; hot.

  I slid in, letting the heat soothe me and I sunk in until the water rose over my shoulders. Out the window I saw the dim hint of daylight. This was starting as a strange day and I knew the remainder would be just as unusual.

  Never an early bird, I’d always clung to my pillow until the last minute. I’d often been caught working late into the night, chasing the kind of demons who didn’t enjoy venturing out at night. This often left to difficult mornings.

  A red robin landed on the sill of my window and chirped its arrival. Batting its wings in pecked at the glass pane. For a long moment I watched it as it struggled to get inside, wondering what it wanted. I’d long ago heard that a bird crashing into a window was a foreboding sign; a message of death.

  I looked into his eyes, wanting to find the message it had for me, but just as quickly as it had appeared, it flew off.

  Is this to be the day everything turns upside down? Could I truly be destined to end up like Ida?

  Wanting to erase all thoughts, I dunked down until my head was completely submerged. Under the water, I opened my eyes, reveling in the dull silence that enveloped me. The world and worries bobbed away on the surface of the water while I remained safely under until I could no longer hold my breath.

  As I popped out of the water, gasping for breath, I felt a surge of revival. Whatever I’d needed to find in the water, it’d come to me and I now felt ready to face this impossible day. With still a few hours to go before I had to head out to school, I dried off, pulled on my favorite jeans and t-shirt then plopped down on the bed to read a bit of the Book of Angels.

  John had repeatedly stressed the importance of reading, learning and memorizing as much of it as we could and while I’d poured over much of it with Asher on the plane ride back to the United States, I wanted to have as much of it as possible sink in. I wanted it to become a part of me; something I didn’t have to think about…a part of me that was automatic to pull out without thinking.

  Certain aspects of Latin still eluded me and I knew that simply learning the words without understanding their meaning was useless. Like John had said, we had to believe what we were saying as we sprinkled Holy Water over the portal.

  I skimmed through several of the pages, happy with the amount I was able to understand. Just when I’d reached the section I didn’t know as well, I heard Mom’s soft steps coming up the stairs. After a light knock on the door, she pushed the door ajar and peaked in.

  “Honey, you up?”

  In no mood to hide anything from her, I set the Book of Angels on my lap. “Yes, Mom. I’m up. Come in.”

  “You're up early,” she said as she came in.

  “I’m sorry. Did my bath wake you up?”

  “A little, though I admit I slept pretty lightly all night. I guess John’s unexpected visit disturbed me a little more than I would have thought.”

  “Me, too.”

  “Look,” she said as she gazed at the Book of Angels. “I don’t want to keep you from your… duties, but I just wanted to tell you, I’ve always loved you like you were my own. It took no time at all for me to forget that you weren’t my blood. The only thing that constantly reminded me that you weren’t mine was…”

  “The demon slaying,” I interjected.

  She chuckled lightly. “You’d think that would be what concerned me, but no. I was fearful for the first few years that John and Ida would come around and claim you. I think you turned seven before I stopped thinking of that eventuality, before I finally felt secure in my motherhood.”

  “I’m sorry this has upset you so much.”

  “Well, now that it’s out, I guess it’s for the best.” She patted my cheek and looked at me with tenderness and love in her eyes. “I’ll let you to your things. I just wanted a chance to talk to you alone before you left for the day.”

  “Thanks, Mom. I’m glad you did.”

  As she left I heard the slow, almost reluctant steps as she went downstairs then headed for the shower.

  It was almost six o’clock and I was amazed the time had gone so fast. I’d gone from being well in advance for the school day to the verge of being late. Grabbing my bag, I pulled it over my shoulder and hurried downstairs for a few bites of breakfast.

  While I wolfed down a bowl of Cheerios I heard my father rise and join my mother in the shower. The thought made me smile. They were still so in love with each other, it was inspirational. Would the love I have for either of my slayers end up being the kind that would last forever like the one my parents have? I sigh
ed. Right now I have obstacles to overcome with each of them before I can even think of committing to either. Brax and Moore were becoming full-fledge demons, and Asher was my guardian. To me, they were supposed to be off-limits, but my love for them as friends and companions have blossomed into something else.

  Before they came out and I was confronted with another dose of parental love, I shoved my empty bowl into the dishwasher, grabbed an apple and headed off to school.

  Before the first class I spotted Brax and though he looked tired, he appeared fine. He looked like himself, smiled, and even seemed to be in a good mood. The only thing that concerned me was his lack of eye contact. Of course he was far down the hall when I spotted him, but he usually saw me from afar and was quick to come to me.

  I tried not to let it bother me and headed down to my Science class, hoping to spot Asher on the way. I just had time to see him dash into his Biology class and I had the same impression as I’d had with Brax. He seemed fine, but didn’t spot me from a distance.

  Shaking my head, I argued I’d come to take their attention for granted.

  My morning classes dragged on and it was impossible to concentrate. Though Mr. Meriwether spoke slowly and eloquently, every other thought reverted to the lines I’d read in the Book of Angels that morning.

  By the time lunch came around, I realized I’d yet to see Moore. Worried, I hurried to find him but ran into Brax instead.

  “Hey,” he said with a cockeyed grin. “How was your first night back?”

  “Torture.”

  “John go back to meet your parents?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Must be rough.”

  There was something odd and distant in his manner of speaking, as though the words flowed from his mouth out of habit but without any conviction.

  “How are you doing?” I asked as I reached out to gently touch his arm.

  “I had a rough night, too. My uncle’s house seemed bigger and emptier than ever. It was cold, dark and… lonely. Though I had to share you with Moore and Asher, I have to admit I was growing accustomed to spending the day with you, waking to see you, going to bed not too far away from you. Maybe one day we’ll be able to do that without Moore and Asher.”