Panic

by Sharon M. Draper

  She’d had to shut down her Facebook page as it had exploded with nasty comments. As she walked down the hall, it was constant, ceaseless. Some were said just loud enough for her to hear. Others were made directly to her.

  From the guys:

  “Nice tits.”

  “Wanna give me some of that?”

  “Oo-wee! You made my day!”

  “Lettin’ it all hang out, I see.”

  “What else you got?”

  “I got a camera. You want to party with me?”

  “I got what you want, baby.”

  “Come on over to my house.”

  “Bring it on over here to me.”

  “Hardcore. Umph.”

  “Lucky man, that Donovan.”

  “Homie hopper.”

  “What else you got to show me?”

  “The whole football team wants you now.”

  “I sent your photos to every dude I know. You got more?”

  From the girls:

  “Stupid ho.”

  “You don’t have much to show off anyway.”

  “You knew what you was doing.”

  “If Donny says you a ho, then you a ho.”

  “That is not the way to keep a man.”

  “Cheap slut.”

  “She always fakin’ like she’s nice.”

  “I knew she was easy.”

  “She sure looked like she was enjoying herself.”

  “Who woulda thought?”

  “Lowlife.”

  “Better quit actin’ like you all that!”

  “I sent her pics to my cousins in Jersey.”

  “I posted them on Facebook!”

  “Those pics are everywhere.”

  “This is the best scandal that’s happened all year!”

  In her classes Layla tried to pay attention, but the rumblings and murmurs never stopped. Her teachers, at least for today, were clueless. They had no idea about the vast network of Internet connections that the students shared. But she knew that sooner or later one of the teachers would find out. And then her parents. It was never going to go away. Never.

  When her father found out, he’d be so deeply disappointed. After all those years apart, missing the innocent little girl he’d left behind, he would think that she really was the slut everyone assumed she was.

  She skipped Spanish class and found a seat in the back of the auditorium. She sat there alone in that huge, darkened room, wishing she could disappear. And she knew how awful that thought was—truly awful, awful, awful—because Diamond actually had disappeared. But she didn’t know how to deal with this. She had no idea how to make it through, how to make it go away.

  The auditorium door opened, letting in a shaft of light. Justin walked in, clearly looking for her. Layla scrunched down, but he spotted her and headed her way. She groaned. He must have followed her and skipped Spanish as well. But she just wanted to be alone!

  She couldn’t do this now. She simply could not face anyone else. But there was no way to get away before he reached her; she was caught.

  “What do you want, Justin?” she asked, a sharp edge to her voice. “You want to check and see if my boobs match the pictures?”

  “I deleted the photos the moment I received them,” Justin replied evenly.

  “Why? You don’t get turned on when you look at women’s breasts?”

  “I didn’t choose to look at those particular pictures, that’s all.”

  “All the dudes say you’re gay. Is that why you deleted the pics?” She knew she was being a butt, but she couldn’t stop lashing out at him.

  “I’m not gay.”

  “Everybody else is having a holiday spreading my stuff all over the world.”

  “I’m not everybody else.”

  She was amazed at how calm Justin was. So she asked him point-blank, “What do you think of me? Honest answer.”

  “I think you’re beautiful,” he said simply. “I thought so from the first time I ever saw you.”

  “Hah! Never was. Never will be now.”

  “Nothing has changed about how I think about you. Nothing.”

  She glared at him. “Why not? Everybody else is calling me a slut and a whore.”

  “But you know you’re not, so why does the name-calling bother you?”

  Layla thought about that. “Because it hurts. And . . . I’m ashamed of what I did.”

  “Anyone who believes what people are saying don’t know the real you.”

  “And you do?”

  “I know what I see,” he said, still speaking slowly and calmly.

  “What?”

  “I see a girl who is all that, but doesn’t realize it. A girl who just doesn’t get just how awesome she is. A girl who trusted someone she cared about.”

  “You think you’re some kind of shrink?”

  “Nope. I’m just a Layla admirer.”

  “You’re probably the only one left in the universe.”

  “That’s fine by me!”

  “I had no idea he’d send out those pictures,” Layla admitted, struggling to keep her voice steady. “Actually, when he took them, I didn’t even consider what could happen if they got out.”

  “He probably didn’t either.”

  “We were both kinda happy that night. To tell the truth, I wasn’t thinking about anything at all.”

  “Layla, look at me. You deserve to be happy.”

  “There you go, sounding like a shrink again.” Layla sighed.

  “My bad.”

  She hesitated, then told him, “Donny told me he loved me—for the very first time.”

  Justin made no comment.

  “So if he loved me, why would he do something to hurt me so badly?”

  Justin peered at her in the darkness. “I guess it’s partly my bad.”

  “Why?”

  “I clocked him in the hall, remember? In front of everybody.”

  “True that. But he didn’t go after you; he decided to hurt me instead.”

  “He lashed out the only way he could, ’cause he knows he can’t beat me!”

  “Yeah, right. You better watch your back. Donovan fights dirty.”

  “I can handle him if I need to.” Justin paused. “But we both got three days’ suspension. I’m supposed to be heading home now.” He gently reached out and touched her hand. “I’d fight for you again, Layla.”

  “Seriously?”

  “I’ve heard them whispering in the hall too. The next person who talks down to you will have to deal with me.”

  She shook her head. “You’d end up fighting the whole school, and be kicked out the rest of the year. This thing is huge. And nasty.”

  “All I need to do is wipe the floor with two or three of them. They’ll shut up.”

  “You’re a really good guy, you know that?”

  “That’s what my mom used to tell me,” he said, glancing away for a moment.

  “Hey, you know what? My dad came home last night.”

  “How was it?” he asked, his attention instantly back to her.

  “A little awkward at first. I was ten when he got locked up. So much has happened since then—there’s a whole lot of territory to cover.”

  “How’s your mom handling it?”

  “Better than I thought she would. I figured she’d leave him on the sidewalk. But I think she’s glad he’s back. I think she wants to try, at least.”

  “Well, that’s good, right?”

  “But what if my parents find out about this mess, Justin?”

  “I hate to say it, but they probably will, ya know. You might want to tell them yourself rather than let it trickle down to them through the Internet.”

  “Why did he do this to me? Why? It will break my father’s heart. He still calls me his little princess. Can you believe it?”

  “What about your mom?”

  “Oh, man! I don’t even want to think about it! She’ll holler and yell, but I think she’ll be more disappointed than angry.”
/>   “Do you want me to go with you?”

  “You would do that?”

  “Yeah, I would. I want your dad to know that not all dudes are simply after his daughter’s underwear.”

  “You’re not?” She grinned at Justin.

  “Nope. I just want to dance with you. Forever.”

  Justin and Layla sat quietly in the darkness of the auditorium, but for the first time in a long time, Layla was beginning to see a bit of light.

  39

  DIAMOND, Thursday, April 18 9 p.m.

  “There is danger in the air for you tonight.”

  —from Peter Pan

  Thane left the dinner tray as usual that night. A hamburger, fries, and amazingly, a Wendy’s frosty. The sweet coolness of the treat made her cry as she licked the spoon.

  A spoon.

  A spoon! She quickly tucked it under the pillow, and hoped against hope that Thane wouldn’t notice it was not under the pile of wrappers and napkins on the tray.

  Diamond longed for one of her mother’s home-cooked meals. She promised herself she’d eat meatloaf, even peas and lima beans, just to be in her mother’s kitchen once more.

  Twenty minutes later, Thane took the tray without comment, leaving the usual bottle of drug-laced water and locking the door behind him. Diamond took the water to the bathroom and poured it out, refilled the bottle with tap water and drank that. Then she grabbed the spoon and squeezed the bowl of it in half. It snapped onto a perfect point.

  She looked up at the small window. The little bit of sky she could see was leaden with clouds. The wind blew in sudden gusts, shaking the attic room.

  For the first time in many nights, Diamond’s head felt clear, but the dread of what was to come never went away. She begged the Lord to give her strength to endure another night. She had to get out of here!

  When the film crew arrived and connected the cameras to the tripods, she pretended to be asleep. It took all her effort not to cringe as they touched her, removed her clothes, and positioned her. They no longer tied her arms to the bed.

  “Ah, still so lovely,” she heard Thane say. “Cameras ready?”

  “Ready, sir,” said the voice of one of the cameramen.

  Thunder rumbled in the distance.

  Thane leaned over Diamond, saying “Smile, my sweet. This is your audition tape that will take you to the next level, so let’s dedicate this evening to Shasta.”

  Diamond tried not to recoil at his touch, tried not to gag from the smell of Thane’s sickly sweet cologne, his hot breath on her face.

  More thunder. Louder. More insistent. Sharp streaks of lightning flickered through the window above her head.

  Diamond pretended to stir, moan, and stretch. She extended one arm upward, ever so gradually. She reached under the pillow. She grabbed the shard of the spoon. It was time.

  As fast and as fiercely as she could, she swung her arm down and pushed with all her might, stabbing Thane just above his shoulder blades.

  Thane screamed and scrambled backward, grabbing his bleeding neck. That was all Diamond needed. Stark naked, she darted toward the unlocked door.

  She knew she had only seconds before he got over the shock and they came after her. She dashed down one winding flight of stairs, then another, then another. Dizzy with fear, she raced to the huge front door. Oh, please be unlocked! She figured with customers coming in and out, Thane might be less careful about locks and alarms.

  She pulled on the latch. Nothing. She pulled again. Nothing. She heard footsteps thudding behind her. She gave one full, final tug, and, oh thank God, the door swung open.

  There was no time to think. She just ran. And ran. She recalled the driveway was incredibly long, so she figured she’d be safer in the woods. Lightning flashed, illuminating the sky, and thunder exploded all around her. Diamond sprinted away from the house and toward the streetlights she saw far off in the distance.

  She heard a noise behind her, but didn’t stop to look—she just ran faster. But the sound was closer, gaining. Diamond’s heart thudded—they couldn’t catch her now. She pushed on harder. Please, no!

  Then, to her amazement, she realized that Bella was right beside her. The dog pulled ahead. Her coat was soaked, her feet were muddy, but she bounded just ahead of Diamond as if the run were designed for her pleasure, darting over fallen trees, switching to clearer paths, almost as if she were leading the way.

  Diamond stole a quick glance behind her. The two cameramen were in pursuit. Thane was right behind them. The cameramen were overweight, and she was sure she’d be able to keep them outdistanced. Thane, however, was running like a demon, and soon overtook his men.

  Run, Diamond, run! she repeated, like a prayer. Run, Diamond, run! She followed the dog. Sticks bit into her bare feet. The wind increased, sending branches whipping against her arms, her chest. Rain pelted her, running down her naked body.

  Another streak of lightning pierced the sky. She glanced behind her again. The cameramen were no longer in sight. But Thane was getting closer. Between rolling explosions of thunder, she could hear Thane crashing through the woods after her.

  Diamond gasped for breath, her chest aching for air. She felt as if the whole world were shaking with noise and power. Lightning webbed the sky. Thunder cracked. And still she ran, terrified that Thane would catch her.

  Gulping and heaving, she was trying to figure out which way to go when Bella circled back around to her . . . and nudged her to keep going. Diamond dashed after her, zigzagging through the woods, following the soaked dog, and checking behind her when she could. A huge bolt of lightning brightened the sky, and Diamond stopped short.

  A four-foot ditch loomed directly in front of her. She couldn’t tell how deep it was, but she had no chance to change direction. Thane was only a few yards behind her.

  Bella didn’t hesitate. She leaped the ditch effortlessly, then turned toward Diamond, willing her to follow.

  Diamond took a deep breath and did what she’d done a hundred times on the dance floor—leaped into the air and across the gulf. Her bare feet screamed in pain as she touched down, but she’d made it to the other side of the ditch. She reached for the dog like a talisman, and glanced behind her as the sky lit up again.

  Thane, his face red and furious, was also attempting to jump the ditch.

  He didn’t make it.

  His scream erupted in the darkness. It was the deep, agonizing cry of an animal in extreme pain. Another thunderclap, farther away now. Another scream.

  “Help me!” Thane cried out in the darkness.

  Diamond hesitated.

  “My leg—I think my leg is broken. Help me, please!”

  Diamond peeked back into the ditch. In the next brief torch of lightning, she could see him. Thane lay flat, his right arm impaled by the sharp branch of a tree, his left leg twisted at an unnatural angle. The next flash of lightning showed that, yes, a large shard of broken bone protruded from his thigh.

  “Please, Diamond,” he begged. “If you help me, I’ll take you home, and our little adventure can be forgiven and forgotten.”

  Diamond thought back to the horrors of the past few days. Then she recalled all she’d learned in church about forgiveness. She leaned over the ditch.

  The wind was slowly subsiding. Diamond barely noticed the rain. Another flash of lightning showed Thane moaning, blood now pouring from his leg.

  Carefully, Diamond lowered herself down to where Thane lay.

  He looked up at her beseechingly. “I knew you’d help me. I knew you were special from the moment I first saw you, Diamond.”

  She touched his slacks, near the pocket.

  “It wasn’t all that bad, was it?” Thane whimpered. “I’ll make it up to you—I’ve got money—lots of it. I’d planned to pay you all along. You deserve it.”

  Diamond didn’t say a word as she reached quickly into Thane’s pants pocket. The moment she grabbed his cell phone, she scrambled out of the ditch and away from him, elation flooding her.r />
  “I hope you rot in Hell!” she finally screamed at him.

  The rain had slowed to a soft drizzle, and the wind had lost its fury. The thunder rumbled only in the distance.

  Diamond trembled as she punched in the first phone number she had ever memorized. The dog huddled close.

  “Hello?”

  When she heard her mother’s voice, Diamond could barely speak beyond the gasps and gulps of tears.

  “Mom?”

  “Diamond? Diamond?” Her mother began to shriek. “It’s Diamond! It’s Diamond! It’s Diamond, honey! Where are you? Oh, Diamond, I knew you’d be alive. Where are you? Where are you?” Now her mother was sobbing.

  “I’m not sure where I am, but please come get me. Please hurry! I’m so sorry for all the bad things I’ve done. Oh, Mom, please come bring me home.”

  40

  LAYLA, Friday, April 19 9 a.m.

  “I am your friend no more. Begone from me forever.”

  —from Peter Pan

  When Mercedes answered the door the next morning, she was still in her pajamas. Layla shivered in a thin jacket, the cool morning air seemingly blowing her into Mercedes’ living room. The sky was ruddy, as if struggling to throw off the clouds of past week.

  “What’s up, girl?” Mercedes asked as Layla tossed her purse to the floor. “You look like you had a rough night.”

  “It was pretty bad—but nothing compared to Diamond’s night.” Layla rubbed her arms and blew on her hands. “I can’t believe she escaped. She’s back! She’s back! She’s back!”

  “Yeah, awesome, huh? I’ve been up all night, girl, trying to get information,” Mercedes told her, “but there aren’t many details yet. Come on up to my room—we gotta talk.”

  Layla and Mercedes hurried upstairs. Layla pulled a blanket around herself, climbed onto Mercedes’ unmade bed, and tried to make her thoughts stand still so she could focus. “This is the second day in less than a week that I’ve skipped school,” Layla admitted.

  “My mom actually insisted I stay home today—how ’bout that?” Mercedes told her. “Besides, who could concentrate on Baxson’s biology or Senora Sanchez’s Spanish? This is life-and-death stuff.”

  “Yeah. True that.”

  Both girls checked their phones for messages, but there just weren’t many details yet. All the kids kept repeating and resending the same info.