Racing to Love: Eli's Honor

by Amy Gregory

  Eli hadn’t premeditated the scene, and then time felt like it drifted into slow-motion. Keeping one hand pressed against her hip, not letting her escape their connection, he reached the other toward her face. Drawing her down, he brought her mouth close enough to hover over his own.

  “Honor,” he whispered against the satin soft skin of her lips.

  Her brow furrowed, but after a long moment, she lowered herself, bracketing his head with her forearms on the floor. With her hands near his ears, he could hear as she bunched the long strands of the rug under him. The turmoil swirling around her was palpable. Her cheeks were a warm pink, her eyes darkened by desire, but it was uncertainty that lined her face.

  “Eli, we…I can’t.” Her soft argument died as her eyes drifted shut.

  He didn’t let go of the back of her head, but he did relinquish the power, giving it back to her, making the decision to move—either forward or backward—completely hers alone. For several pounding beats of his heart, neither of them dared do anything but breathe. Through heavy-lidded eyes, he watched, reading every nuance as it crossed over her face. Her breasts, although covered, were pressed against his chest, and each shaky breath she took—he felt.

  Guilt slammed into him.

  The need swirling around him shut his brain down, putting her in a position that could only make her feel as if she was letting him down, for the second time in one day. Taking the time to choose his words carefully, he silently crafted the second sentence of his apology when Honor took a turn with a surprise of her own, gifting him her kiss.

  Soft and warm, she was tentative, as if she wasn’t sure of herself, or maybe she was nervous about what one sweet kiss could lead to. She pressed her lips gently into his, but it was the time she took drawing back that spoke volumes. Her eyes were still closed and she, ever so slightly, wet her lips. Every nerve in his body was on alert—the electricity between them biting and arching as he watched and waited for her next move.

  He saw the lines appear across her forehead right before she lowered her head, almost as if she was afraid of herself, afraid to accept what he was offering, but wanting it just the same. Eli wanted to take over, to show her how good they would be together, and how good he could make her feel. It took every bit of strength he had to hold back, as if he was stepping out onto fragile ice with no hope of saving himself if things went badly—or worse, with no way to rescue Honor.

  So he waited.

  It had been several agonizing minutes, and without opening her eyes so he could give her the encouragement Eli knew she needed, Honor moved. Instead of off, she laid her cheek against his heart and he melted. She still had her knees tucked up, probably afraid to stretch out and put any weight on his back. Eli didn’t say anything, inhaling sharply as instinct kicked in and he wrapped his arms tightly around her. One hand fisting in her hair, not pulling, but a move he made to secure himself in the blanket of soft curls now covering him.

  “Oh, sweetheart,” he whispered.

  Honor didn’t answer, not with words. She remained silent, but rubbed her cheek against his bare skin, nuzzling and tucking herself tighter into him, wedging her face into his neck. He knew then she wanted his comfort. However, that knowledge sent his heart into his throat, because the one thing he was scared of—was true. Eli feared that the voice inside her was the one opponent he wouldn’t be able to overcome.

  ****

  Sunday dinners were always a production at James and Karen’s house. No matter how many were at the table, it was always loud, fun, and the laughter could probably be heard a half-mile down the road. It was Eli’s sense of family, and he loved those meals more than going out to the fanciest of restaurants.

  He had always been close to his own family, with his grandmother at the center of it all. Before he was even a teen, she passed, and his own family lost the connection he loved. His parents and his aunt and uncle all worked too much to carry on the same traditions, so the gatherings he loved as a kid quickly went by the wayside.

  That was probably why he’d fallen in love with Pennsylvania years before when Molly made him come home with her. At which point, he never left. He’d finished his racing career, albeit not under perfect circumstances, but from that first visit on, he considered his home to be on the Noland property.

  Honor passed him the basket of rolls on one side, and Brody handed him a bottle of beer on the other side. Jokes, tales, and teasing arguments filled the room. Half a dozen conversations were being carried on at the same time. The volume wafted through the large open space of the main floor, laughter and the clinking and clanging of silverware against china bounced off the walls. Chairs slid over the wooden floor as various requests were filled. Chance, Jack, and Alex made sure they weren’t left out of any conversation.

  It was his favorite part of the week. Hands down.

  Eli tried to tell Honor her first night in town that these family dinners were a ritual none of them missed unless absolutely necessary. The occasional student who was away from his or her family was invited, but for the most part it was just family, although very little of it was blood. They were family in every sense of the word, bonded tighter than most biological families, sharing the good, the bad, and every day in between. They celebrated the ups, and stepped in to pick up the pieces before things could fall apart when life threw its curves—and Eli would do whatever it took to make Honor and Dallas a part of that.

  They both needed the connection and love his family offered…and he needed them. Both of them.

  He kept a watchful eye on Honor and Dallas, making sure they felt comfortable. Both were quiet, and he assumed very unaccustomed to large, rambunctious family get-togethers. From what she told him, their family dinners consisted of her, Dallas, and, a few times a week, Mac. Nothing compared to the noise and the amount of food at this table. He grinned seeing Dallas’s eyes go wide at the platter of homemade brownies Emery conveniently set down close to him. She roughed up his hair and headed back into the kitchen for another pan of whatever else the girls had baked up.

  Pushing his empty plate back a couple of inches, Eli slid his left hand over Honor’s thigh underneath the table. Sipping the second glass of wine James poured for her, she glanced his way and smiled. The sweetness of her simple smile was enough to send a jolt straight to his heart.

  He would have to thank James later. The man didn’t realize how much easier it was to talk to her when her walls were lowered with alcohol.

  Dallas started laughing, loud enough to catch Eli’s attention. Taking in the proud smirk on Jesse’s face who was sitting next to him, he assumed the famous horror stories of their youth were being dragged out to entertain the young rider—probably with the embellishment that time adds.

  Eli shook his head and pointed at Jesse, “Frost, you just remember for every lie you tell my boy, I’ve got three on you.”

  If he wasn’t mistaken, Dallas’s face changed at the words my boy. Eli had meant it. He winked at Dallas to confirm it. Dallas smiled big in return, and then his eyes went wide as Jesse’s story continued.

  “Son, I mean it. Don’t you believe a word that man tells you,” Eli said loudly across the length of the table. “They’re lies, all of ‘em.”

  The table erupted once again. James smacked the table with his palm as tears formed in his eyes. Eli knew any minute now, the patriarch sitting at the head of the table was going to be providing even more dirt on them all.

  “Dallas, you stick with me, honey. Those boys are bad news. Every last one of them,” Karen teased looking around the table, eyeing each one of the men surrounding it, spending an extra second on her own husband. The ringleader as she often lovingly called him. The eye rolls and denials made Dallas laugh even harder.

  Eli’s chest swelled. Everyone had taken the quiet boy in, welcomed him and his mother with open arms. He hadn’t doubted it for a minute, but it still gave him a sense of pride to see them becoming a part of the family. Being teased, hugged, and made fun of all in t
he name of love. Eli bit his cheek, trying not to smile as they all watched Dallas help Alex climb up in his lap and proceed to share his dessert.

  Alex started in with her own private conversation with Dallas as she picked bites off his brownie. Eli watched as he fell into the story, talking back and asking questions as if they were the same age and had been friends forever. The boy might not even think anything about it, but from what Eli had heard, Dallas’s name was mentioned a lot around Molly and Carter’s house. Luckily, she was young enough that it was still cute.

  Leaning into him, Honor whispered, “She sure seems to like him.”

  “I think she’s made that downright obvious.” Eli grinned proudly at Dallas. “He sure is sweet to her and takes really good care not to hurt her feelings in any way.”

  Honor simply smiled in answer, then turned to her side as Karen stole her attention away from him.

  After two beers and too much food, Eli’s hidden hand on her thigh moved upward in a more visible sign of affection when he draped his arm over her shoulders. He expected she’d pull away, but she hadn’t. Honor was very subtle and cautious, but over the course of the evening, she settled into his side. Her soft laughter and gentleness pulled at his heart. She could keep up with the banter and teasing that the guys dished out, but with grace and poise. Her quiet, witty retorts often earned the loudest round of laughter.

  Movement at the kitchen door caught Eli’s attention. Watching Dallas quietly slip outside, Eli gave him a full ten-second lead before he turned, discreetly kissing Honor’s cheek while he whispered that he was going to go check on him.

  Her hand reached out against his chest. “But—“

  “No, let me. Please?” Eli tilted his head in hope.

  Eli waited for her nod of approval before smiling and nonchalantly stepping away from the table.

  He waited on the patio for a moment, knowing exactly where the kiddo was going. When he got close to the gate, Eli grinned as Dallas climbed over it and jumped back down on the other side. Walking a track in the early night was one of Eli’s favorite things to do as well. Something about the peace and quiet against the painted sky, the smell of the dirt, and the sounds of the birds always made the track a place of refuge for him. Making his way to the gate, Eli simply opened it. It was never locked, but Dallas wouldn’t have known that.

  “Hey, buddy. Watcha doin’?”

  Dallas jerked and spun. “Nothing.”

  “It’s okay, I didn’t mean to scare you. Mind if I walk with you?”

  Dallas looked up at Eli, the puzzlement visible in his gray eyes, as if he had no clue why he’d even ask. “It’s…your…track…” There wasn’t any sarcasm laced in his voice, it was purely the confusion of a young child. He shrugged and started walking again.

  “So…how do you like the academy?”

  With no hesitation Dallas answered on a dime, “I love it!”

  Eli smiled. He knew the young rider did. His enthusiasm was unmatchable by any other student. He was so eager to learn and grateful at the same time. The other boys were great kids with the one exception, but they just didn’t have what Eli saw in Dallas. He knew he wasn’t being biased either. Carter, Jess, Brody, and even James all said things, made comments, and dropped compliments multiple times.

  Dallas was the next great. Now, if he could work up the nerves to approach his mother regarding their plans, they could set the wheels in motion. After this morning’s pitfall, it looked like a long shot, but he’d promised James he would put it out there.

  “I’m glad. You’re doing an amazing job, Dallas. I couldn’t be more proud of you than I already am.”

  Reaching down to pick up a larger rock, Eli threw it off the track so it wasn’t a danger for the following morning’s session. “So, eh…I wanted to talk to you about something since it’s just the two of us.”

  “I knew you liked her.”

  He blinked multiple times in shock. So much for guiding the conversation, and Dallas’s simple statement was just that…simple. No venom in the words, just a plain fact given about the obvious.

  “You did?” Eli didn’t mean to blurt out his question, it just sort of fell off his tongue as his mind raced for a better response.

  They made their way to the tabletop and sat down on the flat dirt surface. Facing the house, the glow from the windows and doors lit up the night sky. Inside, dinner was being cleaned up, and every so often, light laughter could be heard clear out on the track as it drifted through the opened windows.

  Dallas looked up into the sky that had darkened in just the short time the two of them had been outside. Tilting his head as if he was looking for a particular star, he stretched out and laid down, his arms behind his head.

  Eli copied the lead of the child.

  “I told my mom, back when we were still at home, that you liked her.”

  The eleven-year-old was way more observant than he’d been given credit for. Eli had been entranced by the woman upon seeing her for the first time. How Dallas could have picked up on that he had no idea. The conversation he had wanted to have with him just did a one-eighty, and his breath caught in his throat as he racked his brain trying to decide where to go with that statement.

  Fishing around for the right words, Eli was careful to tread lightly. In reality, he was more afraid of saying something that would piss off Honor, than he was of scaring Dallas.

  “You’re right, I did. So…um…about what you saw earlier. I’m not going to get all mushy and gross and ask you about your feelings. We’re guys. That’s girl stuff.” Eli tried to smile, but knew his mouth tipped with a nervous grin. The exaggerated he-man comment earned a snort, and when he heard the soft chuckle from Dallas, he said, “But, I do want to ask you if you’re okay. I mean…after all, she is your mom.”

  “You know, my mom always tells me that stars are people in heaven looking down, watching over me.”

  “I like that.” Eli smiled at the simplistic view, especially since Honor and Dallas had lost close family members.

  “My dad wasn’t very nice to my mom.”

  If Eli hadn’t already stretched out and lain down beside Dallas to stare up at the same stars, he would have probably fallen down to his knees. What was he supposed to do with that piece of knowledge? He knew that Honor and her late husband were barely more than two people living under the same roof. He had assumed they did so because of Dallas and money.

  To hear that come from Dallas was proof that her world was way worse than just lonely. Dallas still would have been fairly young at the time, since his father had been gone for over two years. If he, as a child, picked up on the turmoil…it must have been bad.

  He gasped for a breath and the right words to say, willing his stomach not to revolt, but he had to know. “Dallas? Did your dad…did he yell…or…” Leaving the question hanging, he clenched his jaw and waited for the child to fill in the blanks.

  Dallas didn’t answer.

  Instead, he seemed to study the sky with even more intent.

  Eli had never felt the type of pain like he had crushing him at that moment. His gut response was to go pull Honor out of the love-filled house and ask her for more details about her marriage. The marriage that was way uglier than she’d made it out to be. But patience won out. He’d get more answers from Dallas than he ever would if Honor felt threatened. She’d shut him down and shut him out, and he’d never work his way back in again.

  Even though his heart was pounding, Eli gave all outward appearances of being calm. He waited several long moments, hoping Dallas would give him more insight without having to be asked a second time. Praying the answers weren’t as ugly as the scenes playing through his mind.

  “My uncle Mac stopped him once.”

  Eli’s worst nightmare just unfolded in his lap. His ears were buzzing and his breath caught in his throat for a second time.

  Oh. My. God.

  “He brought me home one time, and when we walked in they were fighting, really bad. M
y dad was holding her by the arm…I saw him getting ready to hit her.”

  Eli had been inside their house in the tiny town outside of Nashville, and he could easily picture the scene Dallas was painting. The small living room, the half-wall separating it from the kitchen, the meager furniture, and a couple yelling at each other in the middle of it all. Although he didn’t know what the bastard’s face looked like, he knew he’d never forget the image of what Mac and Dallas had walked in on, of what Dallas was describing, out of his head.

  The what if that spun through his mind had his blood turning to ice, chilling him from head to toe.

  “Uncle Mac ran in and grabbed him and then pushed him outside. My mom pulled me into my bedroom. I couldn’t hear what they were saying because my mom was crying, but it never happened again. Not like that. Just yelling, door slamming. Or sometimes he didn’t come home.” He paused again. “Mostly that.”

  “Mostly he didn’t come home?”

  “Yeah.”

  “God, Dallas, I’m sorry you had to go through that, son.”

  “Mom isn’t as sad now. Unless Mac tells her I need something for my bike. They always try to talk in secret, but I hear them sometimes. Then she’s worried. I know she can’t afford it.”

  Oh. My. God.

  Eli had no clue in hell how this boy was turning out to be such a great kid when he had the weight of the world, and then some, on his shoulders. He took a moment, willing himself to keep the protector in him tamped down. When he thought he could speak with a feigned aloofness, Eli propped himself up and looked over at the young child with the surfer boy looks.

  “That won’t ever be a problem you or she has to worry about again.”

  Even in the darkness, the moonlight was bright enough for Eli to see the doubt on Dallas’s face.

  He shook his head. “Na. We can’t accept that kind of help. It’s too big. My mom didn’t even want to come here, but Uncle Mac made her.”