Horrible Harry and the Missing Diamond

by Suzy Kline

  “Maybe,” I said.

  And we left.

  When Harry and I got to Room 3B, our teacher was rooting around in her purse. “Hi, boys,” she said.

  “Doug’s mom has Cub Scouts in the cafeteria,” Harry explained. “She said we could help you look for your missing diamond, if you want.”

  “Oh, how nice.” She stood up. “I have to make a call, but I’ll be back . . . in a few minutes.” Her voice got sad, and her eyes got watery. Then she left with her cell phone in her hand.

  Harry and I immediately started our diamond search. I combed the whiteboard tray while he checked out the cracks in the wooden floor around the teacher’s desk.

  “Whoa, look at this, Dougo!” Harry cried out.

  I dashed over with my journal. I wanted to record the exciting details.

  Harry opened the bottom right drawer in the teacher’s desk! Inside was a stash of . . . CHOCOLATE. There must have been three dozen pieces of foil-wrapped candy in the back, and a big pile of empty chocolate wrappers in front.

  “Harry! What are you doing snooping in the teacher’s drawers?”

  “A good detective has to be thorough. This chocolate mine could be a clue! Now we know why Miss Mackle goes to her desk the first ten minutes of silent reading: she’s craving a piece of chocolate.”

  “You’d better close that drawer right now!” I ordered.

  Harry kept staring at the treasure chest of chocolate squares. “And this was one of the last places she was just before Song Lee screamed . . .”

  Suddenly, we heard footsteps coming down the hall. Harry slammed the drawer shut and flopped onto the floor.

  “Any luck, boys?” the teacher asked as she entered the room.

  “Not yet,” Harry answered.

  Miss Mackle sank down into the beanbag chair just as Mr. Beausoleil poked his head in the doorway. “I got your note, and I’m so sorry. I’ll keep an eye out for that diamond, and put off cleaning the first floor. That way you’ll have more time to look for it.”

  “Oh, thank you.” Miss Mackle sighed. “Boys, do you want to come with me to the Teachers’ Room now?”

  “Sure!” we both said. I couldn’t wait to search that place with permission.

  Double Gross

  Miss Mackle glanced at her desktop. “Oops, I forgot to return my coffee mug,” she said.

  I rolled my eyes at Harry. He was the one who put that mug there.

  As soon as we got to the Teachers’ Room, Harry checked out the table. There was a new package of Girl Scout cookies next to the empty doughnut box.

  “Did you have a doughnut this morning?” Harry asked.

  “Yes,” Miss Mackle said.

  “What flavor?”

  “Chocolate frosted. Want a Thin Mint Cookie, boys?” she asked.

  “Yes, please,” I said.

  Harry said no. He was too busy being a detective.

  “Chocolate is my weakness,” the teacher said. She took two cookies.

  “No kidding?” Harry replied.

  What a phony! Harry knew very well about the teacher’s chocolate cravings. He was the one who discovered her chocolate drawer!

  I took out my journal and continued listing places that we searched. Harry used his magnifying glass on the tiny chocolate smear on the side of the doughnut box. Miss Mackle lifted the pillows on the teachers’ couch and looked underneath. I searched the sink drain. Harry got into his turtle stance and examined the rest of the floor.

  Fifteen minutes later, Harry stood up. “No diamond,” he groaned.

  “I’m thinking it’s not in this room,” the teacher replied as she washed her hands at the sink.

  Harry observed how she dried her hands with a brown paper towel, took a step back, and tossed it into the garbage can like a free throw. “Do you always wad up paper towels into tight balls like that?” he asked.

  Miss Mackle chuckled. “I guess I do. I used to play basketball. It’s easier to make the basket if it’s wadded up like that.”

  “Your diamond could be tucked inside!” Harry said.

  “Oh my goodness!” the teacher exclaimed.

  Harry grabbed a newspaper from the table and spread it out on the floor. He dumped out the garbage can and fished around for paper towels. There were just three in tight wads. “These must be yours,” he said.

  Miss Mackle leaned forward as Harry tossed aside the first ball of paper. “You just used this one. It’s still wet.” He reached for the other two, then unraveled one.

  “Chocolate frosting,” Harry declared. “This is yours, all right.”

  Harry’s investigation was beginning to gross me out.

  He used his magnifying glass over each fold of the paper towel. “Not here.”

  Harry reached for the second paper ball. When he unfolded it, we could see two slimy orange things. Harry smelled them. “Peaches.”

  Double gross, I thought. Horrible stuff never bothered Harry. That was one talent I was glad I didn’t have.

  Miss Mackle made a face. “Peach yogurt, actually.”

  “No diamond,” Harry said. Then he put everything back and washed his hands at the sink.

  “Thanks, Harry.” Miss Mackle sighed. “You’re a hardworking detective.”

  Then her voice started to break up. “Thank you, too, Doug. I’m . . . going home now.” I wondered if she was going to cry in her car.

  “I’m not giving up!” Harry called out as we walked downstairs to the cafeteria.

  Mom was helping kids scoop seeds into their milk carton birdhouses while my brother was punching her rear end. “Stop that, Baxter!” she scolded. Then she smiled at us. “Want to make a birdhouse, boys?” she asked. “There’s still time.”

  I decided to give it a try. Maybe making one of those things for the talent show wasn’t the worst idea in the world.

  Harry was suddenly distracted. “Oh, man, I left my baseball cap in my desk. Be back in a jiff.”

  I nodded. I was busy gathering Popsicle sticks and twigs for my birdhouse.

  Ten minutes later Harry came back . . . without his hat.

  I was sitting at the end of the table, far away from my brother and his friends. They were having sword fights with the leftover Popsicle sticks.

  “That diamond’s not in the teachers’ bathroom either,” Harry whispered to me. “I checked it out.”

  “You went into the teachers’ bathroom?” I repeated.

  “I did. I couldn’t snoop anymore in Room 3B. Miss Mackle locked it on her way out. But the Teachers’ Room was still open, and that’s where the teachers’ bathroom is. There was a huge supply of toilet paper in there. I counted fifty rolls stacked up against the wall. That should get them through June. Kind of cool, actually. A TP tower!”

  If anyone could find that diamond, it would be Harry. He noticed everything!

  Recess Rehearsals

  The next morning, I felt like I had walked into a meat locker. “Look what that says, Harry!” I pointed to the whiteboard in our classroom.

  Harry read the message that made my bones freeze up.

  THIRD GRADE TALENT SHOW—TOMORROW!

  IN OUR ROOM AT 1:00 P.M.

  BE PREPARED!

  “So?” he said. “That’s old news.”

  I pulled Harry aside. “You mean chilling news!” I replied. “I have the most boring act for tomorrow—how to make a birdhouse out of a milk carton.”

  “That’s not boring,” Harry said. “Birdhouses are cool.”

  “You don’t think people will laugh at me?”

  “No,” Harry insisted. “You’ll be great.”

  “Maybe.” I groaned. “I just wish I had an exciting talent like you do—being a detective!”

  “Well, my act is going to be a dud if I don’t find the diamond.”

&nb
sp; Harry and I exchanged a look. It helped to share the misery.

  At lunch recess, some of the girls and Sidney rehearsed their talent show acts by the Dumpster. I could see and hear them when I was playing leftfield in kickball.

  Ida was leaping on her toes. “I’m going to do a ballet dance!” she squealed. “Mom said I could even wear the costume from my last dance recital. It’s a tutu.”

  “Too too what?” Sidney asked.

  The girls giggled. “Sid,” Ida ex-plained, “a tutu is a little skirt that sticks out. Ballerinas wear them.”

  “Ohhh,” Sid said.

  “What are you doing, Mary?” Song Lee asked.

  “Well, you know I have lots of talents.

  It was hard to choose. But I decided to go with cooking. I’m going to demonstrate how to make strawberry parfaits with yogurt.”

  Song Lee clapped her hands. “I love strawberries!”

  “What are you doing, Song Lee?” Ida asked.

  Song Lee’s happy face suddenly turned sad. “I made something in origami, but I may not be here tomorrow.”

  “Oh, I hope you will,” Ida said. “I want to see what you made!”

  “Me too,” Mary added.

  I understood Song Lee’s feelings. She was too shy to do an act by herself in front of both third grades. She had only gone in front of our class twice before.

  Once was when she stood behind a cherry tree and gave a short talk about Korea. The other time was when she was a dead fish in our Thanksgiving play.

  Song Lee and I both needed to go to New Zealand.

  Almost Showtime

  Friday morning everyone arrived with props for the third grade talent show. Dexter looked just like Elvis in his dark glasses, a gold necklace, and a white shirt. He had a guitar strapped to his shoulder.

  “Look! Dexter is the king of rock and roll!” Mary gushed. “His cool hairstyle is called a pompadour in The Guidebook of Fabulous Hairdos.”

  ZuZu was holding his clarinet case. “I can play ‘Row, Row, Row Your Boat’ by heart,” he said.

  Sid had a clown costume in a bag. He showed us his carrot-orange wig and ruffly collar. “I can juggle fruit!” he bragged.

  Ida pulled her pink tutu out of a box and showed the girls. “I can’t wait to do my pirouettes!” she exclaimed. Then she danced around on her toes.

  I had no idea what pirouettes meant.

  “What are you doing?” Sid asked me as we hung up our jackets in the coat closet.

  I showed Sid my lopsided birdfeeder.

  “I like el tweetos!” Sid said. “Lots of them are out now. It’s spring. So where’s the birdseed?” he asked.

  Just as I lifted it up to show him, three Popsicle sticks fell off the roof. The twig I had used for a perch came untaped, and a bunch of birdseed spilled out onto the floor.

  “Oh, no! I can’t use this now. It’s ruined!”

  I cleaned up the mess and trudged to my desk.

  Song Lee sat down next to me, holding a bag. She wasn’t a happy camper either.

  “What did you make?” I asked. I was surprised she even showed up at school today.

  “An origami box.” When she took it out and showed me, her hands shook.

  It was the most beautiful paper box I had ever seen. It even had a paper rose on top of the lid.

  “Wow! I wish I had your talent,” I said. “You folded that whole thing?”

  “Yes, but I’m not feeling too well.”

  Oh man, I thought. There was no way Song Lee was going to go on stage by herself.

  Harry rushed to his desk. He had two baseball caps on. One brim was in front, the other was in the back. I knew why he wore them that way: he thought it looked like Sherlock Holmes’s detective hat. His magnifying glass necklace was around his neck, outside his T-shirt.

  “I see you’re ready for your detective act,” I said.

  “Except for one small detail,” he replied. “I have to find that diamond first.”

  I glanced at the clock. “You still have four hours. Hang in there, Harry.”

  “Thanks,” he replied. Then he took a long, hard look at Song Lee’s box. “You made that?” Harry gasped.

  “Yes,” she answered.

  “Your act is going to be the prettiest one in the show,” he said. Song Lee stopped frowning when Harry flashed a toothy smile at her.

  “So,” Harry said turning to me. “Where’s your birdhouse, Dougo?”

  “In the garbage can. It’s ruined. I’m hoping there’s still time for me to pull something out of a hat.”

  “That’s a bummer,” Harry replied. “But I know you’ll think of something good.” Then he looked over at the teacher’s desk. “There’s still time for my secret raid, too.”

  Secret raid? During class? What was Harry up to this time?

  Harry's Secret Raid

  Shortly after eleven o’clock, I found out what Harry’s secret raid was. We were all working on morning math at our desks, except for Sidney and Dexter. They were sitting at the front round table with Miss Mackle. She was showing them how to add mixed fractions, using cardboard pizza slices.

  Harry got up to sharpen his pencil, but he took the long way around Miss Mackle’s desk. I watched him drop his pencil on purpose, duck down, and stick his hand in the bottom drawer. He fished out a huge handful of chocolates and stuffed them in his jeans pocket! Then he sharpened his pencil and returned to his desk.

  His secret raid was on the teacher’s chocolate drawer!

  As soon as he sat down, I whispered, “Harry! What are you doing?”

  Harry put a finger up to his mouth. Then he stood up and did the same thing again!

  And then a third time!

  “Done!” he said plopping in his chair. His jeans pockets were bulging with chocolate squares.

  “Harry Spooger!” I whispered. “I can’t believe you’re stealing Miss Mackle’s chocolate!”

  Harry reared back. He looked insulted. “I’m no thief!” he insisted. “And I didn’t take any of her chocolates. I just took the empty wrappers.”

  I was relieved, but very confused. “The empty chocolate wrappers? Why?”

  Harry lowered his head and whispered, “The diamond could have fallen inside her chocolate drawer when she reached for a piece of candy. It might be inside one of the empty wrappers in the front. I’m checking these sweet babies at recess.” Then he patted both pockets.

  I slid down in my chair and thought about it. I guessed it could work.

  Harry took his fingers and zipped his lip.

  I did the same thing. His secret raid was safe with me.

  As soon as I finished my math, I took out my writing journal to brainstorm ideas. What could I do for the talent show? Nothing dumb. It would be embarrassing if anyone laughed at me.

  Wait a minute. That was an idea! Maybe I should try to make people laugh.

  After lunch, we went outside to recess. Harry sat by the Dumpster, going through each of those chocolate wrappers. I didn’t play kickball either. I leaned against the fence, writing down knock-knock jokes. So far I had one:

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Radio.

  Radio who?

  Radio not, here I come.

  Then I remembered a joke Harry told me in second grade, and I wrote that down too:

  Did you hear about the two cannon balls that got married? They had a little BB.

  When the recess bell rang, and it was time to go inside, Harry went to the end of the line and pulled his Sherlock Holmes hat down over his eyes. I knew exactly how he felt. I didn’t have anything for the talent show, either. My knock-knock joke was stupid, and everyone has heard the cannonball joke. That was really a bomb.

  Miss Mackle’s diamond wasn’t the only thing missing. So was my
talent!

  The Nose Knows

  As we walked back to the classroom, I noticed that Harry ducked into the nurse’s office. Was he sick? I followed him inside.

  Song Lee was sitting in a chair. Two other kids sat on her left: a girl with a bloody scrape on her knee and a boy with an ice pack on his head. The nurse was on the phone.

  Harry sat next to Song Lee. I plopped down next to Harry.

  “What are you doing here, Song Lee?” Harry asked.

  “I don’t feel well. I have a stomachache.”

  “You can’t go home,” Harry said. “I need you to be my assistant!”

  “For what?” she asked.

  Harry looked at both of us. “Can you two keep a very important secret?”

  We nodded, then moved our heads closer to Harry’s.

  “I found Miss Mackle’s diamond in an empty chocolate raspberry square wrapper!”

  Song Lee squealed, then covered her mouth. I rolled up my journal and bopped Harry on the head. When the nurse started to shush us, we got up and left.

  “You really found it?” I gasped as we hurried down the hallway.

  “Yes!” Harry replied. “I tried to hide my face when we lined up after recess because I wanted to save the good news for the talent show. But when I saw Song Lee, I remembered her origami box. I knew I needed a better container for the diamond.”

  “Where is the diamond now?” I asked.

  When Harry stopped walking, we did too.

  He pulled out an empty sandwich Baggie from his right pocket. It had a streak of peanut butter and jelly in one corner. It was a leftover bag from his lunch box. A horrible place for a diamond!

  Harry handed it to Song Lee. “Here, take this. You’re my assistant. Make sure the diamond is safely tucked away in your beautiful box.”

  Song Lee carefully held on to the Baggie with two hands. We could see the diamond at the bottom. It still sparkled through the plastic. Song Lee moved the bag close to her heart, then scooted back to our classroom. She was on an important mission now for Miss Mackle!