Only the Light We Make (Tales from the world of Adrian's Undead Diary Book 3)

by James Dean

  *****

  BANG!!!

  I must have launched a foot in the air when the doors to the garage banged shut. I don’t know if I was actually asleep or just so deep in my horrible daydream of my first day here that I was totally out of it until the door shut. Which is great, because at least he didn’t find me. I’d have to be more careful about where I hid if I was going to stay on this campus.

  My stomach growled, reminding me I hadn’t eaten much in the last few day. I had been sustaining myself with food I had scrounged from the remaining cars and when that ran out, I snuck into a few of the offices that were well lit with sunlight. There wasn’t much to be found. I think that guy from the roof made it in there before me and took everything. I had to hide quickly a few times as he kind of appeared out of nowhere.

  The power was off now, and walking into any area that you didn’t have a clear view of all the corners was just stupid. Those dead things didn’t always walk, sometimes they just swayed in one place, almost like they were waiting, reserving their energy as their pray stupidly stumbled in their direct path. But since all of the easy spots were empty of food at this point, I had a choice-I had to break into a riskier area or leave this place and find somewhere else. No brainer really. I didn’t know this area, and I wasn’t paying attention when Uncle Tony was driving. I can’t even remember how far away the nearest house is.

  Last night I was chilly and that got me thinking about what I was going to do when the summer was over, if I survived that long. I need to find someplace that I can stay warm. This is beginning to look bleak. If there’s no power anywhere, then there’s no heat and I don’t know how to use a chainsaw or anything to cut firewood, I don’t know what I am going to do. I’m getting angry, why am I even in this position? What did I do to make God or fate or whatever hate me so much? Am I that bad? The spoiled, rich-bitch girls that went to this school probably had warm, expensive stuff.

  I realized my feet had been carrying me in the direction of one the girl’s dorms while I was occupied by the pity-party in my head. I wasn’t even looking around to see if the coast was clear. But then I realized there weren’t any zombies around at all. Weird, still, I had to keep my head in the game or I was going end up just like that crusty rib cage I almost just tripped over. Ribs….sounds nasty after what I just narrowly avoided, but damn, what I wouldn’t do for rack of barbequedribs. Hunger makes you think weird thoughts. Sigh.

  I went to the back of one of the buildings that apparently housed the girls dorm rooms…I had luckily thought to grab one of the campus maps in the first office I snuck into when I was looking for food. I had just reached the building when I heard a car. I ducked behind the building just as a truck went zipping past driven by the guy that had come into the garage I was hiding in. I wondered if he had been the source of the blasting music and gun shots a week or so ago, but he didn’t look like a Lady Gaga fan. I waited until he was out of sight and started checking doors and windows. Everything was locked except the front door, and I couldn’t see into the building from there so I wouldn’t know if there were any zombies on the other side. I put my ear to the door and listened but heard nothing. My stomach growled again and hunger made me throw caution to the wind.

  I pulled the door open. The trapped heat of the early summer hit me like a stinky wave, so gross but there was nothing there. I let out a big sigh of relief and went in. I wanted to close the door so that nothing could sneak in behind me but then I would lose the light that flooded through it. Plus, the smell in here was almost enough to make me hurl. So I left it open and started searching the big room with the TV and couch, the kitchen--which was disappointingly empty--and then headed for the hallway.

  There I reached the first closed door. I stood and listened, pressing my ear against the door, I tried looking under the door…nothing. I turned the knob slowly and opened the door. Dammit! A bathroom… moving on. The next door had an even more horrible smell just…emanating from it. I passed this one by and moved to the next. Repeating my pre-open check procedure, again with no results, I slowly opened the door, glad it wasn’t locked. The room was empty of anyone, dead or alive and I started at the first dresser and started pawing through it, dumping everything on the bed. I ignored everything that wasn’t edible. It wasn’t until the very last drawer that I stumbled upon this girl's stash. I sunk to the floor, unwrapping some expensive chocolate bar and cramming it in my mouth as fast as I could.

  After my chocolate feast I felt pretty nauseous. Candy on a very empty stomach probably wasn’t the best idea. I resumed my search, and after emptying every drawer in the room and searching under the beds and in the closets, I had a little sack of snacks and a couple of soft-drinks, one of which I was currently slurping down. I took a minute to review the stuff that I had thrown around, picking up a particularly expensive pair of jeans that I could never have owned and it occurred to me that I could have anything I wanted now. I checked the size of the pants and tossed them back in the pile, nope. I checked the other clothes and when I had assembled an outfit--complete with new sneakers--I pulled off my shirt, ready to change. The smell from my own body was pretty ripe. I didn’t want to put clean clothes on without a shower. I grabbed some of the pretty soaps and shampoos from the pile and headed for the bathroom again. The water didn’t work…dammit. I remembered the pond or lake that I had seen when I first arrived with Uncle Tony and Aunt Charice. A cold lake-water bath was better than stinking like the dead. I shoved everything into one of the girl’s bags and headed out.

  I snuck and creeped my way down to the lake like a ninja, hiding behind anything I could find, keeping an eye out for the dead or the living. I could see three forms on the far side of the lake, definitely zombies from the way they moved. I stripped down to my underwear and bra and slipped into the lake where some bushes grew out over the water and would hide me a bit. The water was freezing, but it felt good as it chilled my overheated, stinky skin. I scrubbed with the pretty, perfumed soaps and rinsed off as quick as I could. Dressed in expensive clothing and smelling way better, I snuck back toward the garage I had most recently been hiding in.

  On my way back I heard a car again. I peered from behind my hiding spot and saw that it was the same guy. I dropped my small bag of snacks and creeped along the buildings, staying out of sight and watching him. He parked the car outside a building and hopped out. He went in with a big box that had bananas printed on the side and shut the door behind himself. I think he is the only other person alive now. I haven’t seen or heard anyone else. I ninja’d my way up to the building and tried to find a window I could look through. None of them were low enough for me to see through. I heard a door and jumped behind a row of shrubs. It was him again. I stayed low in my hiding spot and watched him as he unloaded stuff from the car. I was beginning to think he was kind of cute and he had a pretty nice body too when he paused what he was doing and farted. He farted like it was his job. Then, even more disgusting, he reached his hand back to his behind and dug around in his crack like a self-proclaimed proctologist.

  So nasty.

  I waited until Mr. Butt-scratcher was back in the building and made my way back to the dorm I had found the clothes and candy in. Thinking back to that, as I locked the door behind me, I realized he had keys with him and had unlocked the door. I better find another set of keys or one day this door might be locked to me. I made my way back to the room I had ransacked. I pulled the curtains tight, curled up on a dead girl's bed and went to sleep.

  I spent one full day searching everywhere and right when I was about to give up, found a giant key ring in the pocket of a big ugly coat hung on a chair in a classroom. Mission complete. I went back to my room and stayed there for the next few days, reading the crappy romance books left behind by the former occupants. I was getting weak from only eating junk food and water that I had dipped from the toilet tanks. I know that sounds gross but when there is no other clean water you make do. I think I had seen that on one of those prepper shows. Th
e tank on the back of the toilet is always clean water…no poo in it. So…yeah, anyway, I’m not real proud to be drinking potty water.

  I couldn’t stay in that room anymore. I found a diary while I was rummaging around. I read it. I figured that girl isn’t coming back so it's fair game. She had a pretty neat life most of the time. She wrote about boys she liked and things her friends said and stuff about her parents. She was always doing fun stuff like going to the movies and dances. I never did those things. I started to get mad, and then I was sad and I missed my mom and…screw this, I have to find something else to do besides sit here.

  I snuck back over to the building the butt-scratching cutie is living in. The car was gone so I went right up to the front door and found it locked, sixteen keys later, I found the right one. Inside was a banquet.There were cans and boxes and things everywhere. I grabbed a can of spaghetti rings with a pop top and chugged the cold, congealed, contents. It tasted so good I almost cried. I started to pile things in my arms and then I stopped and put it back. I couldn’t let him know I was there. I would take just a few random things and go.

  I selected another can of spaghetti rings and a can of corn. I also grabbed a box of crackers from a large stack, tried to shove them around a bit so the missing one wouldn’t be obvious. Just as I was going to turn and leave I felt something brush my leg.

  I froze, completely…I couldn’t breathe in, could not move at all. I was going to die because this dude didn’t clear out the house…then I heard the meow. I looked down at a beautiful, HUGE cat and slowly unlocked my muscles. I leaned over and stroked his soft fur while he nuzzled my hand and purred ridiculously loud. That was bad, if that had been a zombie, I would have been dead meat. I am so disappointed with my reaction. I might as well just go feed myself to them if that is how I am going to react when one gets near. Sigh. This cat is just awesome. I want to stay and pet him longer but I know I am pushing my luck. He’s bound to be back soon and I didn’t want to get caught.

  I grabbed my selections again and scooted out the door. Mr. Ginormous cat tried to exit with me. I pushed him back in and closed the door. Just as I straightened up, I heard the car. I sprinted across the deck and launched myself off the side into the shrubs. I lay there, not moving, just watching the sun shining through the green leaves of the bushes. It seemed like it took forever to unload his car this time and not come back out of the house. After a while, I crawled away from the house and skirted the edge of the property until I got close enough to the girl's dorm again. Once again I hunkered down for a few days. I read a book called Clan of the Cave Bear. Made me think my struggle here isn’t quite that bad.

  I can’t stop thinking about that cat. That guy is living with just that cat for company. I might have to spy on him for awhile, maybe he isn’t that bad.

  Eventually I snuck in and played with Mr. Cat again. I love this cat! He does this thing where he nuzzles my hand if I stop petting him. I love that. I stole a couple more things. A box of stuffing and a can of green beans. I'll just nibble the stuffing. It actually tasted pretty good as a snack. Everything tastes good these days.

  The next time I snuck back in, all the food was gone and the room was clean. I wandered through the room and found a great big kitchen with a pantry stuffed full of food. I was overjoyed and took my time choosing my food and rearranging things to hide my theft. Then I snuck up the stairs and checked out the other rooms. The guy had clearly begun to set up a home for himself. I felt guilty snooping through his stuff so I left his room pretty quick. The cat followed me everywhere, I kind of love that. I got out of there just in time, as he pulled up in the car only seconds after I slipped around the side of the building. Too close, gotta be more careful.

  *****

  It’s hot and I am miserable. There isn’t much to do besides read and watch what the guy is doing. All he seems to do is go out and come back, day after day. Unloading boxes of stuff into his chosen home. Sometimes he doesn’t go out and then sometimes I see him walking around outside. I sneak around behind him when I can. It’s creepy I guess but I’m not convinced he’s trustable. There’s no other people around for me to see what he is really like. Guess I will just keep watching. Hopefully he won’t be turned toward my hiding spot next time he pees. Ewww.

  Heard gunshots in the distance today and found myself hoping my guy is ok. I guess he’s all I’ve really got now. After fretting for the entire today, sure he was dead…he came back. I was just beginning to warm up to the idea of being the cat’s mom. Ahhh well. At least he’s ok and I’m not alone. Not really anyway.

  Summer is just about over and the nights are finally cool enough to sleep well again. I am starting to really get nervous about what I am going to do when it gets really cold. I might have to bite the bullet and approach him. I don’t know if I have the courage to and plus I feel weird. I’ve been inside his place, played with his cat, stolen his food and seen him pee. I would probably just die of embarrassment if I tried to talk to him.

  He drove around on a four wheeler instead of walking today. Makes it both easier and harder to follow him. He won’t hear me making noise but he moves a lot faster on that thing. He’s got electric at the house now. I think it's called a generator that does it. Makes me wish I was braver than I am. Even though I am used to the darkness, I still honestly get scared. It gets so dark without any lights anymore. I know that I am okay closed up in the dorm I hide in and that the dead can’t open the doors but it’s still scary.

  I lay there at night--in the dark, alone--next to an open window and listen to the coyote howl in the woods. I am beginning to hate it, I am so lonely. I got used to being on my own with Mom away so much but eventually she would come back. She always came back. Well, until she didn’t and that lady came and took me away. I wonder if she is alive. My mom, not the stupid lady that put me on the bus. I hope if she isn’t, that she didn’t suffer. Mom didn’t deserve that. She didn’t deserve any of the things that happened to her. I miss her. I would give anything to see her right now. I don’t want to be alone anymore.

  *****

  It was cold today. I raided the closets in the dorm and dressed in all the warm stuff I could find. At night it’s not so bad because I put all the blankets from the beds in the room I am in on the bed and snuggle in like a cocoon, but it’s getting colder. I can see my breath cloud around me in the moonlight.

  I watched the guy putting wood on windows and around the deck today. He seems to know what he is doing,but he is still alone. Does that mean there is no one left but dead people? Are we the only two that survived? What if that is true? Should I go introduce myself so he can be my boyfriend and we can start the human race over again?

  That made me giggle. He stopped what he was doing and looked around and I held my breath the whole time. SHIT. I am not ready to introduce myself yet. I bet I look terrible and smell terrible. Maybe I should take a bath again?

  I spent the next few days in bed. I felt terrible. I don’t know if I ate something or what but I had to keep running to the toilet and its full and wont flush and now I wonder what I will do if the guy decides to come back into this dorm. When I felt a little better, I snuck around buildings and eventually found a library. I grabbed as many books as I could carry, which wasn’t that much because I felt weak and went back to bed. I could only read during the day because I couldn’t risk using one of the many flashlights I had scrounged from this place. I couldn’t risk being caught yet. It was warmer today but so cold at night. I slept a lot. Maybe I’m not better, maybe I will die from some sickness.

  I don’t know how many days passed, but I am finally feeling better and spent the day sneaking around and slipping in to buildings. He has this amazing stash in the great big kitchen in the bigger house. I snuck some more food, tried to pick healthier things, again rearranging stuff so he wouldn’t notice. My goal now is to get better and stronger and wash up so I can finally introduce myself. I can’t wait any longer. The leaves are gone from the trees and my toes g
et numb some nights.

  *****

  Today is the day.

  After I heard him leave in a truck this time, I snuck down to the lake and washed. I was blue and shivering by the time I was done. Shaking so hard I could barely get dressed, I was clean and smelled good so it was worth it. I snuck up to the cafeteria with the food and unlocked the side door, I wanted to eat something so I wouldn’t be shaky and starving when I said hi.

  I went to the pantry and grabbed a can of peaches. The kind with the pop-tops are easy and quick and I was slurping the sweet juice in no time. I never liked peaches before; I even hated their smell, now they seem like the greatest thing in the world. Funny how hunger can change you like that. I was mid slurp when I heard the door creak behind me. I froze, I was busted. What would I say!? I turned slowly, desperately trying to swallow the peaches, wipe my mouth and come up with a witty hello all at once. But it wasn’t my guy. It was a dead guy and he was already halfway across the short hall and I froze again.

  He moved faster than I thought they could and he was on me before I could unfreeze. When he lunged, I finally came free of my trance and shoved him back. I looked around for something to hit him with but there was nothing in reach and he was immediately there again and he was so strong and his hand pinched my arm so bad and it hurt. His other hand tangled in my hair and I was yanked down, losing balance as I tried to free myself.

  There was a sudden, sharp and terrible pain in my shoulder and I immediately thought it was dislocated. One thought flashed in my mind then; I had to get this zombie out. To try to kill it. The guy would never let me stay if he knew I let a zombie in one of his buildings. This thought recharged me and I pulled hard away from the smelly dead man, ripping some of my hair out in the process, then made a run for the door. The dead guy followed me out the door and I kept moving despite the pain in my dislocated shoulder. I zig zagged away through the bushes and he followed me. I doubled back and just as I reached in and pulled the door closed, I saw two things.