Highland Courage

by Ceci Giltenan

  Mairead had remained silent while Tadhg addressed the issue and she continued to be very quiet through supper. Undoubtedly the whole affair had been distressing to her. Within hours of her arrival, he had learned her reticence increased when she was embarrassed or became uncomfortable. Watching her now was beyond painful. As soon as the meal was over, he whisked her out of the hall, away from the eyes of the clan.

  Nine

  Mairead woke well before dawn. The events of the previous two days consumed her thoughts. She decided the problem yesterday might have been in assuming things would be as they were in her parents’ home. When they were not, she wasn’t prepared. She needed to learn how to cope with the differences and try again. She whispered St. Brendan’s prayer.

  Help me to journey beyond the familiar and into the unknown.

  Give me the faith to leave old ways and break fresh ground with You.

  Christ of the mysteries, I trust You to be stronger than each storm within me.

  I will trust in the darkness and know that my times, even now, are in Your hand.

  Tune my spirit to the music of heaven, and somehow, make my obedience count for You.

  Unable to return to sleep, she rose quietly and dressed. She did not want to go down to the great hall yet and decided to wait for Tadhg to rise. She went to the cabinet in her solar and took out her lute. Feeling she might be in more need of God’s help today than ever before, she decided perhaps Psalms were in order. She played and sang softly so as not to wake her husband. After losing herself in the music for a while, she looked up to find Tadhg standing in the doorway, listening. “I’m sorry, I didn’t intend to wake ye,” she said, putting her lute on the table.

  “Ye didn’t wake me, but I was worried when ye weren’t in bed. Your father didn’t exaggerate about your skill. That was lovely, Mairead. At the risk of making ye blush more than ye already are, I must say I have never heard a more talented musician. Your brothers said ye played several instruments well, but they didn’t mention your voice. What were ye singing?”

  “The prayers of Matins.”

  “Your voice is as pure and sweet as ye are.”

  “I don’t usually sing where people can hear me,” she said, blushing deeply as he predicted.

  He frowned. “Well, lass, ye will sing where I can hear ye.”

  She smiled at the odd command. “If ye wish, Laird. Shall we go down and break our fast now?”

  “Sing something else for me first.”

  Mairead picked up the lute and thought a moment. Then with a sly grin, she played a melody to which she sang the words of a Psalm, Domine labia mea aperies et os meum adnuntiabit laudem tuam.

  He laughed when the meaning of the words she sang sunk in. “Lord, open my lips and my mouth shall sing your praise.”

  When she finished, they went down to the great hall. Over their breakfast, Tadhg asked, “Did ye speak with Oren yesterday?”

  “Nay, I didn’t.”

  “I thought ye were going to discuss the planning of meals?” He looked slightly disappointed.

  “That was my intention but I wasn’t able to.”

  “Mairead, sweetling, ye are the mistress here. Ye can’t let your shyness keep ye from your responsibilities.”

  “It—it isn’t that, really.”

  “Then why haven’t ye spoken to Oren yet?

  “I would have, but he hasn’t been here. Apparently he hasn’t been well. I will speak to him today if he is feeling better.”

  “That’s odd. I can’t ever remember Oren being ill.”

  This came as no surprise to Mairead. Based on the steward’s behavior toward her for the last two days, she was sure his sudden illness was simply an excuse to avoid her. She wanted to get off on the right foot today so she thought this might be a good time to clarify Tadhg’s expectations. “Tadhg, I assumed when we were married ye would want me to run all aspects of your household, however, yesterday it occurred to me we had never really spoken much about it.”

  He looked a bit puzzled and slightly irritated by the question. “Aye, Mairead, I do expect ye to run my household. Has something made ye think otherwise?”

  “Nay, not really. I just wanted to make sure. I know Cnocreidh has been without a mistress for a long time, and I didn’t want to do anything wrong or overstep any bounds.”

  “Ye are Lady Matheson and therefore second only to me here. My staff knows that. It goes without saying, Mairead.” There was the smallest bit of exasperation in his tone.

  “That is good to know.” At his irritation, she wanted to tell him that although they might “know” his expectations, some of his staff certainly didn’t behave that way. However, she didn’t wish to disappoint him or cause a problem by telling him about the rudeness she had encountered just yet.

  “Where is this coming from? Is there something specific ye are concerned about, little one?”

  “Aye, I suppose there is. There is something I want to do. It is something my mother always believed was important, but I won’t do it if ye don’t think I should.”

  “What is it ye want to do?”

  “My mother briefly reviewed the steward’s books on a daily basis so she would know details about inventories and so forth. Also, several times a year, she reviewed the books in more detail, or more recently asked me to do it. It isn’t that she didn’t trust our steward, but she thought it was important.”

  Tadhg considered this momentarily. “Aye, that seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to do. In fact, while I have seen the books regularly, I haven’t ever studied them in great detail, and I think it is a good idea to do so. Would ye prefer for me to review them?”

  “Nay, I would be happy to do it, if ye wish.”

  “Is this what ye were worried about? Asking Oren to see his records?”

  “I just wanted to be sure I didn’t cause any offense.”

  “Ye have a gentle heart, lass, and I am sure ye would never intentionally cause anyone offense. Ye are the lady here. Ye need to stop worrying about things like this.” She smiled but said no more.

  After they had finished their light morning meal Tadhg left for the training fields, and Mairead remained in the great hall. She sent for Elspet, who joined her almost immediately. “Good morning, my lady, is there something ye need?”

  Mairead smiled warmly. “Aye, I need to speak with Oren before he begins his work today. I will wait for him here.”

  Elspet nodded. “Certainly, I will make sure he finds ye immediately. I will also ask him where your harp is stored so it can be brought to the great hall.”

  “I think perhaps it should be put in my solar instead of the hall.”

  “Aye, my lady, I will see to it.”

  “Another thing, I would also like for a fire to be laid in the hearth of my solar. I think there may have been some confusion in that regard over the past few days.”

  Elspet looked stunned. “But I sent—nay, my lady, I am sorry. I will make sure there is no mistake today.”

  “Thank ye. I’m sure there won’t be. Elspet, I know it has taken several days to put the keep to rights after so many guests. How are things coming along?”

  “It is mostly completed. We should be back to our normal routine today.”

  “Very good. Then if ye have no other pressing work, I would like the hall cleaned and the rushes replaced and strewn with rosemary. I know ye probably did this right before the wedding, but since we had so many guests and days of feasting, the reeds are well trampled, and there is probably more debris in them than there might be otherwise.”

  “Certainly, my lady. I will see to it right after the midday meal. Will there be anything else?”

  “Other than my—”

  At that moment an extremely tall, gaunt, man with sallow skin and a dour expression approached. He paid no heed to the fact that Mairead was mid-sentence. “Ye wished to see me, Lady Matheson?” His voice dripped with contempt.

  “Pardon me?” asked Mairead, incredulous at his lac
k of manners.

  “I understand ye wished to see me.”

  “Perhaps ye didn’t notice I was speaking to Elspet when ye approached. Otherwise, I am sure ye would not have interrupted me. If ye will wait a moment, I will finish here, and ye will have my full attention.” She turned back to Elspet. “As I was saying, other than finding my harp and having it moved to the solar, I think replacing the rushes in the hall will be sufficient for today.”

  “Aye, my lady, I’ll see to it.” Elspet started to leave, but Oren stopped her.

  “Oh, nay, replacing the rushes now won’t be necessary, they were only done less than a fortnight ago, just before the wedding,” said Oren.

  “Thank ye for your attention to these matters, Elspet,” Mairead said. She smiled, but her frustration with Oren grew by the second.

  “Ye’re welcome, my lady.” Elspet bobbed a curtsy before she left.

  Oren raised his voice a notch. “Didn’t ye hear what I said? The rushes don’t need changing.”

  Mairead ignored the insolence. “I don’t believe we have met. I am Lady Matheson, and I assume ye are the steward, Oren?”

  “I know who ye are and aye, I am the steward here, and I am in charge of this household. Did ye hear what I said about the rushes?”

  The servants in the hall had stopped their work and were staring openly as the steward argued with her. Oren’s voice carried, and he had made no attempt to be discreet.

  “Aye, I did, and while I appreciate your observation, I would—”

  “It isn’t an observation, it is a fact.”

  With more pluck than she felt, Mairead lowered her voice so as not to make a scene. “That is the second time ye have interrupted me, and my tolerance is wearing very thin. As we have already established, I am Lady Matheson, and as such, I am in charge of this household. The decision regarding when to change the rushes is mine to make. It is abundantly clear ye disagree with my decision. However, in the future if ye wish to discuss a request I have made, ye will have the courtesy to do so without an audience.”

  The servants who had been staring took the hint and returned to their tasks. More gently, she continued, “I understand ye are the steward, and ye have taken on many additional responsibilities over the years to help this household run smoothly. I know Laird Matheson truly appreciates your service. However, now he expects that, as his wife, I will manage his household going forward, including directing Elspet, Ide, and ye in your tasks.” She waited for him to acknowledge what she had said, but when he didn’t, she asked, “Is that clear?”

  “It is my responsibility to plan the daily meals with Ide. I have been doing it for years, and it only makes sense. I am the person who is fully aware of all of our inventories.”

  “Again, I appreciate that ye have been doing this, but ye needn’t any longer. However, I’m glad ye mentioned the inventories. Ye are right, in order to run any household efficiently, one must be aware of what resources are available. Therefore, I would like to meet with ye daily to review the books briefly so I can make informed decisions. As I am new to Cnocreidh, I would like to start by reviewing the books in depth.”

  “My lady, I do not have the time to spend days going over the books with ye.”

  “I don’t expect ye to go over them with me. I can review them on my own and return them to ye when I am through. Please deliver them to my solar this morning.”

  Oren’s sallow face turned nearly purple. He practically hissed, “Ye may warm Laird Matheson’s bed now, but that fact certainly doesn’t qualify ye to run this keep. If ye think Laird Matheson is going to let an upstart MacKenzie lass take over his well-run household, start issuing orders, and delve into his financial affairs, I’ll warrant ye have another thing coming.”

  Mairead looked down for a moment to compose herself. This was not going well. “Oren, ye and I have gotten off to a very bad start, and that was not my intention, but I am Lady Matheson. And yet, for some reason ye feel it is acceptable to ignore my requests and speak to me with frank hostility. I know ye have been an invaluable asset to this clan for many years, so I am going to overlook this one last time. I assure ye my actions are consistent with Laird Matheson’s expectations. I have spoken with him on the matter.”

  “Pardon me, my lady, if I am unwilling to accept your word on this. I will speak with the laird, and we’ll just see what his expectations are.”

  “Ye must do what ye think is best. However, after ye speak to him, please deliver the books to my solar.”

  Looking angry enough to burst, Oren turned to leave, and Mairead stopped him. “Oren, before ye take your leave, I have a bit of advice for ye.”

  He turned around, looking stunned, and arched one eyebrow, hissing “And what’s that, Lady Matheson?”

  “When ye speak to my husband on this matter, ye may wish to avoid phrases such as ‘upstart MacKenzie lass’ when referring to me. I can promise ye he will be less tolerant than I have been.”

  Oren turned and stormed out of the hall without another word.

  Although it gave her a moment of satisfaction, Mairead was not happy about the interaction with Oren. She was shocked at her own boldness, but it occurred to her it is very hard to be shy and angry at the same time. This was not the way she wanted to deal with the staff at Cnocreidh; however, Oren hadn’t really given her a choice. After the unpleasant confrontation it became clear she would probably have a more productive conversation with Ide if she spoke with her alone. Oren did not seem overly disposed to be helpful, so she headed out of the keep in search of the kitchens.

  The kitchens were located behind the keep, but connected by a covered walkway. Mairead walked into the main kitchen, and although she had never met the cook, she instantly identified Ide by her efficiency and the tone of unquestioned authority in her voice as she directed the work underway. Ide was tall and sturdily built; she wore a kertch over her braided dark hair, and her weathered face suggested she had at least two score and ten years to her credit.

  Mairead stood just inside the door. She intended to wait to address Ide until the older woman had finished her litany of instructions to her staff. However, as soon as Ide glanced toward Mairead she stopped to ask, “My lady, is there something I can do for ye?”

  “Aye, I would like to discuss a few things with ye, but I can see ye are quite busy. I am happy to wait until ye have a free moment.”

  “Of course, my lady, I’ll just get this lot organized then I’ll give ye all the time ye need. Ye are welcome to wait here, or I’ll find ye in the great hall.”

  “If I won’t be in the way, I will wait here.”

  “Suit yourself, then.” She pulled out a chair from the large worktable, indicating where Mairead should sit. While she finished giving orders, she put some dried herbs in a small jug and added boiling water along with a liberal amount of honey. When she had given the kitchen staff their marching orders, Ide poured the hot herbal tisane into two mugs and brought them to the table. “Do ye mind if I sit with ye, my lady?”

  Mairead smiled. “Not at all, please do.”

  “Ye might like this.” The cook put a steaming mug on the table in front of Mairead without preamble.

  “Thank ye.” Mairead nodded. She inhaled the delicious aroma before taking a sip. “Oh my, it is very good.”

  “It is brewed from oregano, thyme, and mint,” said Ide matter-of-factly.

  Mairead gave a little laugh. “Thyme is for courage. My sisters would approve. It was in my wreath, my bouquet, and even my bath water on my wedding day.”

  “And did they think ye needed so very much courage to marry the laird?” Ide made no attempt to hide the slightly disapproving tone in her bold question.

  Mairead laughed, taking no offense. “Aye, but not because of Laird Matheson. My sisters think I need courage in general. They would have done the same if I had been betrothed to St. Joseph himself.”

  The answer seemed to appease Ide. “Aye, there were some rumors suggesting ye were a timid one,
but I prefer to make up my own mind. Ye said we had some things to discuss,” prompted Ide.

  Mairead was taken aback a bit by Ide’s blunt comments. “Aye, I suppose we do. I’d like to talk with ye about the planning of meals.”

  “The steward, Oren, plans the meals and that has been done for today, my lady, changing things now would be difficult.”

  “I know Oren has been in charge of this until now, and I don’t intend to change any plans that are underway. I just wanted to address plans for going forward. If possible, I would like to confer about both the specific plans for the day and general plans for the next few days every morning.”

  “Hmm. I’ve been in the habit of planning meals for the next day with Oren in the evening. We’ve done that for a while now.”

  “Would ye be willing to try discussing things with me right after breakfast, and if it doesn’t work well for ye, I will try evenings?”

  “Aye, we can. The laird’s mother preferred to discuss things in the morning as well.”

  Feeling more confident, Mairead asked her about today’s plans and some general questions about the laird’s and Ide’s own preferences. Finally, they discussed overall plans for the next few days.

  Before Mairead left, Ide asked, “My lady, pardon me for asking, but have ye made Oren aware of this new arrangement?”

  “Aye, I have spoken with Oren about this. At the moment, he is seeking clarity from the laird about certain changes. However, I can assure ye my husband expects that I will be working with ye to plan meals.”

  “Fair enough, then.”

  ~ * ~

  Elspet met Mairead as she entered the great hall from the kitchen, “My lady, did your discussion with Ide go well?”

  “Aye, it did, Elspet. Thank ye for asking.”

  Elspet seemed relieved. “I just wanted to let ye know Oren has delivered the account books to your solar, and the laird has set him several tasks in the village this morning. When he returns, I will sort out your harp for ye.”