Sad Love

by Mj Fields

  “You sure you ain’t from the hood girl?” he laughed.

  “No, the farm Jose,” she laughed. “Hey are you going home for Thanksgiving?”

  “No, we have a game Saturday at home, not enough time,” he said, “I’m just going to chill.”

  “No, you’re not; you’re coming to my house.”

  “You sure your folks can handle my black ass coming to the farm?” he laughed.

  “Jose, seriously my parents aren’t ignorant,” she laughed. “You have to come… please?” She begged.

  “Alright I’m in” she hugged him as they walked towards the elevator.

  Chapter 3

  Lucas’s phone chimed it was an unknown number, he smiled

  -Wow you don’t even have my number-- what a hoe!! I’m home and safe. Oh BTW I invited Jose to thanksgiving dinner here…LT

  -You are not, BTW who is this…LL

  -Hmm not funny…LT

  -Sorry Tessa I was joking, don’t be mad…LL

  -I was attempting to be funny…LT

  -I know, let’s not be touchy with each other, it’s very awkward. Almost as weird as your girlfriend inviting your friend to dinner and not you!...LL

  -I like being touchy with you Lucas. Will you come?...LT

  -Anytime baby…LL

  - BAD!!!!...LT

  - Read what you wrote last, you’re bad…LL

  -Okay, I’m going into school TTYL…LT

  -You only have an hour left…LL

  -But maybe my parents won’t find out…LT

  -good, did you ever ask about Mexico?...LL

  -TTY…LT

  Tessa was tired after school, she went home and slept. She woke to his call.

  “You were sleeping Tessa?”

  “Yeah sorry,” she sat up on her bed, and got up to walk downstairs.

  “No, it was a busy weekend. So what’s our schedule like now?”

  “I’m not feeling all that well, can we talk later Lucas?”

  “Oh ok.” he said. “Call me when you can”

  She slept all night and woke up and called Lucas.

  "Good morning," she said confused.

  "Hi," he said quietly, “Are you alright?”

  “Yes just feeling off, I must have the flu. You sound upset are you okay?”

  “Just worried you were blowing me off.”

  She laughed, “I told you I wasn’t doing that again”

  “That’s going to suck.”

  She laughed, “No it won’t--oh no.”

  Lucas heard her throw up.

  “Baby you alright?”

  “Told you I didn’t feel well, okay?”

  “I’ll have Jose bring me over.”

  “No, Lucas, I don’t want you getting sick. I’m just going to sleep anyway, okay?”

  “Tessa it’s not a big deal I was already around you, and in you, and down…” he started.

  She threw up again.

  “Oh baby, did I make you sick?”

  “Of course not,” she laughed softly. “I’ll call you later, alright?”

  ~

  Tessa slept until morning and woke up and threw up again. She showered and felt a little better. She couldn’t miss another day so close to semesters end. She went to school and came home and went straight to bed.

  Her mother came over Lucas had texted her that Tessa wasn’t feeling well, she brought soup, crackers, and Gatorade.

  “What’s going on with you and Dad?” she asked.

  “We’ve talked a lot lately,” Maggie smiled.

  “Is that it?” she grinned.

  “Tessa Ross! Well what’s going on with you and Lucas?” Maggie asked.

  “We talk a lot,” she smiled. “By the way, he wants to take me to Mexico in December, for two weeks. How do you feel about that?”

  “Well I don’t think I like it, but if you’re going to do it that’s your decision. You’re nineteen now,” Maggie frowned, “and moving out in January, please just remember who you are Tessa.”

  ~

  The next day she was sick again but only once. She made a doctor’s appointment for after school. She was going to get birth control pills and hopefully something for her stomach.

  The doctor came in and asked when her last period was, and she said it would be starting soon. She left with three packs of pills and nothing for her belly. She could start the pill after her next period.

  Tessa took a picture of the packages of pills and sent a text to Lucas,

  -hopefully the belly bug is gone, and I am going back on the pill…LT

  -Tessa when does your situation ‘arise’?...LL

  -Any day, sorry…Hey I also asked my Mom about Mexico, she said she couldn’t stop me…LT

  -Nice! You just made my day…LL

  -When can I see you again?...LT

  -Isn’t that my line?...LL

  -Just answer the question ‘baby’, …LT

  -Anytime Tessa…LL

  She didn’t respond right away she wasn’t sure how to. The majority of time it was him pushing her to spend time together now after everything she hated being away for him, even for a day.

  -Tessa, I’m pretty busy, but never too busy for you, when can you come?...LL

  -Oh sorry, had a call, maybe tomorrow have a goodnight..LT

  Her phone rang, and it was him.

  “Baby, you are so full of shit,” he laughed.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re mad, oh and who called?”

  "Shut up Lucas," she said quietly.

  “Can you come up tomorrow at four please?”

  "Maybe I'm busy," she said matter of fact.

  “Maybe?”

  “Fine,” she said quietly.

  “I wish I could see you right now,” he laughed.

  "Okay I’ll send you a picture.”

  She took a picture of her middle finger.

  His phone chimed he opened it, and she heard Jose laugh.

  “Nice baby,” he chuckled.

  “I thought you’d like that,” she laughed.

  “See you tomorrow?”

  “I will check my schedule. Talk to you later.”

  “I love you,” he said.

  “You better,” she said and hung up.

  -Sorry Thursday doesn’t work for me, I’ll see you Saturday at the game…LT

  -Tessa, I’m sorry if I embarrassed you, I love you….LL

  - no I am going to Jade’s appointment with her, not mad, see I am busy, refer to previous text for appropriate hand gesture…LT

  -Alright what’s wrong with Friday then? …LL

  -Stop being so needy, we just started going out and already so pushy…LT

  -Cute baby…LL

  -Yes I am, I’d send you another picture however, I don’t think you could share it with your friends…LT

  - I have an entire photo book full remember?..LL

  -Goodnight…LT

  -Sweet dreams, I love you…LL

  -Ditto…LT

  ~

  Jade lay on the table with Tessa sitting by her head

  “How are you feeling Jade?” the Doctor asked when she walked in.

  “A little crampy, but I’ve been pretty active,” she winked at Tessa.

  Tessa smirked.

  The doctor put the stirrups up on the Vagatron.

  “Just a little crampy?” She laughed.

  “Yep,” Jade said.

  “Okay good. You are four centimeters dilated, we are going to have you go over to the hospital Jade, my guess is you are going to have this baby today,” she smiled.

  “Are you serious?” she asked.

  Tessa clapped and smiled.

  “I am, can you take her?” she asked Tessa.

  “Of course,” Tessa giggled.

  Jade stood up to get dressed, and her water broke, “Oops.”

  The doctor laughed, “Better here than in a car.”

  Jade called Ryan; he was meeting them at the hospital. Tessa sent Lucas a text<
br />
  -Baby day!!!! On our way to the hospital…LT

  -I’ll be there as soon as I can, baby…LL

  Chapter 4

  Jade lay in the bed, and Maggie came in with her clip board.

  “How are you doing, honey?” She asked

  “Good, scared, excited,” she laughed.

  Maggie smiled and hooked up a monitor and put an IV in Jade’s hand.

  Tessa watched Maggie work and then noticed tears as forming in Jade’s eyes. Jade stared straight ahead and began to cry

  “Tessa, you can’t leave okay? You have to be in here. I am so scared; I can’t do this without you. Tessa I love Ryan, but I really wish Tommy was here,” she cried, and Tessa lay with her and cried to.

  Ryan walked in, “Everything alright, Jade?”

  “I need Tessa to stay,” Jade wiped her eyes.

  “Okay Jade,” Ryan smiled as he reached for her hand.

  “I think you should leave,” Jade pulled her hand back.

  "Oh," he ran his fingers through his hair, “Alright then.”

  Ryan let out a deep breath and turned and walked out of the room.

  “Jade don’t do that to him,” Tessa hugged her tighter.

  “I don’t want him to see me lose it over Tommy, Tessa… and I’m going to. I don’t want to hurt him.”

  “Than you need to tell him that. You just totally crushed him.”

  “You tell him,” Jade cried.

  Tessa walked out, and Ryan was in the waiting room.

  “Hey bud,” she said. “She’s scared. She’s very sad, and she doesn’t want you to see her upset because she wishes Tommy was here.”

  “Okay I’ll set out here,” she saw hurt in his eyes.

  “Ryan, she loves you.”

  “Yeah,” he forced a smile and shook his head.

  Tessa hugged him, and he let out a breath he had been holding in.

  “She doesn’t want to hurt you Ryan, she’s scared,” Tessa tried to explain.

  “I get it,” he said, “What I don’t get is why she can’t tell me that.”

  Tessa heard Jade yell in pain and looked at Ryan.

  “That’s why; you have been amazing, she loves you, suck it up and let’s go!”

  They walked in the room, and he pulled his hat out of his pocket and shoved it down covering his eyes.

  “Tessa it hurts,” Jade yelled.

  “Okay what can I do?”

  “I don’t know,” Jade cried.

  Ryan’s foot tapped anxiously on the floor his head in his hands.

  “He hates me Tessa,” Jade cried nodding to Ryan.

  “No, he doesn’t,” Tessa said as she looked at Ryan.

  “I don’t hate you Jade, I just don’t want to make things harder for you right now,” Ryan sat quietly.

  She yelled out again.

  “I’m sorry,” Jade finally breathed, “I’m so sorry and take that fucking hat off, I can’t see your face and white hats on you are very—TAKE. IT.OFF!”

  “Jade you need to breathe,” Ryan said softly and turned his hat around.

  She laid back and looked at him, “Will you ever forgive me?”

  “Jade I love you,” he kissed her head.

  “I was mean to you,” she said.

  “You’re pretty emotional and I have to tell you I’m expecting it to get worse,” he kissed her.

  Maggie walked in an hour later, “Lucas is here. Should I send him in?”

  “Yes please,” Jade said and cried.

  Lucas walked in and Jade started sobbing, he looked horrified, “Tessa should I leave?”

  “No, Lucas she needs you here, go hug her,” Tessa said, “She misses Tommy.”

  “Hey pretty girl,” Lucas sat next to her on the bed and held her hand.

  “I wish he was here, Lucas,” Jade said quietly.

  “I know me too,” he said, and his eyes glazed.

  Jade hugged him, and he put his arm around her.

  “I am going to use the bathroom,” Ryan said and Tessa followed him out.

  “How are you doing?” she asked.

  “This sucks Tessa, to see her cry and hurt and to have my hands tied,” Ryan said.

  “I didn’t see this coming,” Tessa looked down.

  “I didn’t either, and what about after?” he closed his eyes.

  Tessa hugged him, and he broke down. Jade screamed in pain. Ryan took a deep breath and walked into the bathroom. Tessa walked in the room and glanced at Lucas who looked petrified.

  “Jade breathe,” Tessa rubbed her back.

  “Tessa, I can’t do this,” Jade sobbed.

  Lucas stood up, and Tessa sat with her. “Jade it’s been five hours, mom can give you something so you can rest, what do you think?”

  “Where is Ryan?”

  “Right here, Jade,” Ryan said and walked in.

  “Do you hate me yet?”

  “Of course not.”

  Lucas looked at Tessa with a questioning look.

  She took his hand and walked in the hallway. They stood in the hall and Tessa closed her eyes.

  “She didn’t want him here; she asked him to leave, Jade’s a mess. And by the way how are you?” she hugged him.

  “Better now,” he smiled melting into her arms. “What should I do?”

  “I don’t know… right now you’re the chosen one in there. Lead her Lucas, what would Tommy want her to do? Probably not shit on Ryan.”

  “No, he wouldn’t… he was,” Lucas stopped and his eyes got red she hugged him, “Fuck Tessa, this sucks.”

  “I love you Lucas, do what he would want you to,” she kissed him.

  Maggie cleared her throat, “Tessa, I think Jade needs you.”

  “Where’s Lucas?” Jade asked trying to breathe.

  “I’m right here. So what’s up Ryan?”

  Ryan smiled, “Just waiting.”

  “Aunt Maggie, please, I want him out of my crotch” Jade screamed through a contraction.

  “Wow,” Lucas whispered and Ryan tried not to laugh.

  Tessa smiled at her, “I think you just shocked those two over there. I don’t think they have ever heard those words before.”

  Jade laughed through her pain and Maggie scowled disapprovingly at Tessa.

  “So, Mom how is she doing besides the whole tourette’s brought on by labor thing?” they all laughed.

  “She’s almost ready, Jade if you want pain meds, now is the time, honey,” Maggie kissed her head.

  “Ryan do I need them? Am I completely horrible?” Jade asked.

  “You’re doing great Jade,” Ryan kissed her.

  She yelled out in pain again, and it was time. Lucas began to walk out of the room.

  “DON’T YOU LEAVE,” Jade yelled at Lucas.

  He stopped at the door and turned towards Tessa. She knew he was trying to not fall apart. He loved Tommy. They had grown up together. Best friends since they were little boys, brothers forever.

  “Tessa,” he said.

  Tessa smiled, “Stand up by her head and look away, you’ll be fine.”

  He looked at her like she was crazy.

  Tessa smiled, “That’s what she wants.”

  “I don’t know Tessa,” Lucas whispered.

  “What would he want?” She asked softly.

  He took a deep breath and stood above Jades head as the doctor came in.

  Jade pushed for half an hour and finally the most beautiful little gift from God was born. He had very thick black hair and the bluest eyes they had ever seen. On his chest above his heart was a small red mark. Maggie told them it was a stork bite.

  “I think it looks like a tiny little kiss,” Tessa looked at Jade whose eyes filled instantaneously with tears.

  “A kiss from Tommy,” Jade whispered to her, and they both cried.

  “Who is going to cut the cord?” the doctor asked.

  “My husband,” Jade quickly replied wiping the tears from her face.

  Jade cried when Maggie p
ut him in her arms, Ryan squatted down next to her and kissed his little feet.

  “Hello you,” she kissed his head.

  He was eight pounds seven ounces and twenty one inches long, absolutely perfect.

  Tessa bent down and kissed Jade’s head.

  “He is beautiful” she looked at him, “Welcome to the world little guy, we have been very excited to meet you.”

  Lucas stood frozen, and Tessa rubbed his back.

  “Go on, say hello,” he didn’t move. “Lucas” she whispered and kissed him.

  “Its okay,” and tears flowed down his face.

  Maggie looked at him, and her eyes started to tear up.

  “Lucas, would you like to hold him?” Jade asked.

  “Sure,” his voice a whisper: filled with pain and joy.

  Tessa had never heard or seen Lucas this way and her heart broke, in a much different way for Lucas.

  He looked at him, closed his eyes, and held him against his body. Tears fell, and Tessa wiped them away.

  “You and I are going to be so close,” he swallowed hard. “I’ll make sure you know how amazing your father was. And you are so lucky to have Ryan as your Daddy, he loves you and Jade so much,” he kissed his head and looked at him. He started into his blue eyes in wonder as Tommy’s little boy stared back at him. “Brother’s forever,” Lucas whispered as he kissed his little head. Reluctantly he handed him back to Jade, who watched the touching exchange.

  “Thank you, Jade,” Lucas said and walked out.

  Tessa looked at Jade.

  “Go,” Jade said quietly.

  Lucas was squatting against the wall outside the door. She knelt down and held his hands, he pulled her into him. Quietly and tenderly he cried.

  “I could never have done that without you,” he said when he was finally able, “Thank you.”

  They sat there until Maggie came out of Jades room.

  “Lucas, are you alright?” she asked.

  “I will be Maggie. Thank you.”

  “What you said in there was beautiful. I’m very proud of you,” Maggie bent down and kissed the top of his head.

  Tessa leaned back and looked at him, “I love you.”

  He smiled softly and stood up. He went to the bathroom, and she waited for him. They walked back into Jade’s room hand in hand.

  Ryan was holding him, and he was whispering to him. Jade was in the bathroom.

  “That is not cool,” Jade said as she walked out. "Do you have any idea how much blood…”

  Lucas laughed, and Jade looked up and saw Tessa and she laughed.