The Guard: Campground Stories
Page 8
Chapter 6
Edwin “Doc” Chambers had been looking into the farmhouse through one of the side windows, when he had heard the back door open. Doc moved carefully to the back of the house, thinking, who the hell gets up this early? Doc had started to think that teaming up with these two psychos had been a mistake, but at least he had been able to escape from that horrible place. How could they lump him in with all of those crazies? Didn't they know that he wasn't some nut that needed to be locked up for the rest of his life? He had to get back to his practice. His patients needed him. How would they truly be cured without his expertise? Only he could remove the cancers that plagued so many.
There were many types of cancer out there, including moral and societal cancers, which he specialized in. These cancers could only be removed by a skilled surgeon with a thorough eye, and a feel for them. They were more often felt than seen. Because of the metaphysical nature of these cancers, many skeptics, including his own lawyer unfortunately, thought that he was crazy. Doc always felt that people should be more grateful to him for the services he rendered.
The day he had been arrested, had been the worst day of his life. He was trying to remove the cancer from a man he had met on the street. The man had been rude, nasty, and depraved when doc had encountered him. The man had pulled his pants down in public, and in front of some children, he had urinated on the sidewalk. When doc had approached him, the man had cursed him, spat at him, and actually tried to pee on him. This was unacceptable behavior, and Doc knew that it was a sure sign that a cancer dwelt within the man’s filthy body. Doc had later lured the man into his car with a stack of twenty dollar bills and a bottle of whisky - the cheap kind. Doc had anesthetized the man with a ball peen hammer, and had driven him back to his office.
His “office” was an abandoned warehouse in the Garment District. This warehouse was surrounded by other warehouses, but they were either abandoned or unoccupied at this time of night, so he could have plenty of privacy (or so he had thought).
The man had woken up a couple of times during the operation, screaming and thrashing about. Doc had anesthetized him both times with the hammer. He had spoken soothingly to the man, explaining that it would all be over soon, and that he would be much better afterwards, but the man had been inconsolable. What an ungrateful bastard! His screams had attracted the attention of some homeless people drinking on a curb nearby, and they had flagged down a passing police cruiser. An hour or so later when the cops had come crashing in, Doc had been up to his elbows in the man’s body cavity, and moments away from curing him of his cancer.
The cops who responded to the scene testified in court later about how Doc had seemed indignant at the “rude interruption,” and had insisted that they all wear surgical masks and gowns. The cops had thrown him to the floor breaking his glasses and, he felt sure, causing nerve damage in his left wrist. Luckily, he thought, he was right handed, so he should still be able to operate.
Doc was so lost in thought as he crossed the back yard of the farmhouse, that he was caught completely off guard when a screaming, flailing man charged into him. Doc heard a scream escape his lips as the man had crashed into him, and as they both crashed to the ground, he felt his bowels scream as well, and he felt his pants fill with the hellish contents of his intestines. Why is this monster attacking me? thought Doc as he grabbed the man’s right wrist with his left hand. This demon had some kind of long bladed weapon in his right hand, and he was trying to strike him with it. The man’s right wrist broke free (“I knew I had nerve damage in that wrist,” he thought), and Doc felt a sharp, searing pain in his left arm. Doc tried to lift his left arm, but nothing happened. His shirt felt wet, and suddenly, to his horror, he realized that the man had lopped off his left arm just below the shoulder. He heard another scream escape his lips, and his pants filled even more. Everything started swimming and then he lost consciousness moments later.